Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, et al.
Author's Note: There isn't much I can say about this song from David Gray entitled "This Year's Love" … it's a lovely, soulful ballad … and I probably listened to it hundreds of times whilst constructing this chapter, so find it and listen if you have the means. And … please … comment. Thanks.
Chapter 12 – This Year's Love
Lyrcis for David Gray's, "This Year's Love":
This year's love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on
Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh now
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This year's love had better last
This year's love had better last
So who's to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This year's love had better last
This year's love had better last
This year's love had better last
This year's love had better last
Chapter 12 – This Year's Love – Part 1 of 4
Morning was upon us, I could tell. I could feel it in my bones, my skin and my capillaries as my eyes slowly reacted with the pre-dawn light seeping through the window. But I was warm, really warm and content and tired and all I wanted was to stay in this moment with Derek … forever. I wanted to go back … go back to about sixty seconds ago when I was still deeply asleep and comfortable and dreaming in the arms of my lover.
But morning wouldn't stop coming for me or for us – today was a big day – for me, for Derek, for Burke and Cristina … it was big. In the deep recesses of my subconscious, I heard a faint knock coming from the other side of my door, Derek groaned softly in response, but I dare not move.
I was too happy, I felt like I was floating on puffy white clouds – floating and hovering – looking down upon my bed, imagining myself lost in a deep sea of Derek's arms and legs and waves of restless sheets from our first sleep together. I was so happy and tired and sated I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes and deal with our intruder.
I felt the bed shimmy and shake under Derek's weight and movement as he delicately extricated himself from me, he leaned close to my ear, perhaps just to let me know he was on to me. "I'll get it," he whispered, his hot breath fanned my neck as he kissed my temple, his lips felt like a warm flutter of a butterfly's wings … ever so slight, ever so delicate, but so very strong and purposeful too.
I listened as he shuffled across the room and heard the familiar click, click of the knob as he opened the door.
"Morning," Derek said, his voice sleep-filled.
"Oh, you're here, still or I mean, did you stay here all night, not that you can't do that, well uh …," Izzie halted her ramble.
"We weren't sure if Meredith was alone," George said softly.
"Yeah, late night," Derek offered noncommittally.
"Okay then, we just wanted to check on her, Cristina's been tied up, you know," George said.
"She's okay guys, she's fine. I'm here. I'm staying now, so, um …," Derek's voice trailed off.
"So, we'll see you, when you come for work!" Izzie sang, giving them all an "out".
"Yeah, see you," George said.
"Okay then," Derek sighed.
And then the door closed, the latch clicked into place and all was quiet. I thought maybe I was alone again, but then I heard a quick shuffle and felt the bed move ever so slightly. I relaxed as I felt the familiar temperature of Derek's body heat as he lifted the covers and came flush up against me, draping his thigh over my legs, his kneecap resting on my pelvic bone, my heart skipped a beat.
I inhaled a deep breath of our air … Derek smelled so familiar – like sleep and soap and him, like him and me and us – and all of a sudden I remembered just how much I had missed him, how much I missed … this … our intimacy. Together in this bed – morning, noon or night – it didn't matter, it never did and soon it would all meld together again like one of my bittersweet, yet sweet dreams, only this time it would be our reality forevermore.
"You can wake up now, they're gone," he chuckled, his voice muffled from pressing his mouth into my neck as he burrowed closer to me. I could sense the smile covering his face, but I was still unwilling to open my eyes.
"C'mon, we have to get up anyway," he chided, grabbing my earlobe between his luscious lips as he began to systematically suck and nip. His free hand reflexively finding my breast, his thumb passing over my nipple – back and forth, back and forth – I felt it slowly crystallize on his command through the thin fabric of my tee shirt.
I smiled, I would be dripping wet within minutes if he kept this up. "Meredith, open your eyes, please," he pleaded softly as he hovered on top of me, pushing my thighs apart with his knees, I let my legs relax. He situated himself over my body – his lips falling to my collarbone – I raised my neck and wrapped my legs around his waist and smiled.
"Good morning," he said gruffly. "Why don't you want to wake up and be with me?" he pouted, kissing my earlobe.
"Hmm," I giggled and then finally opened my eyes. The room was still dim, early morning shadows danced along the outer walls and ceiling … pressing new light into the deep corners of my room and my mind. I sighed. I loved the early morning – not necessarily waking up – but I liked the quiet, subtle newness of it and I liked it even more with Derek pressed against me in all the right places.
"It's silly, my reason," I said truthfully. Sappy and silly, who was this person I had become?
Derek raised his head and I met his bright blue gateways. It was curious, despite the day we had yesterday and how very little sleep we had banked … I don't know, he looked so – blithe, energized, sated – he was almost too beautiful, he scanned my eyes with his, shaking his head ever so slightly in amazement. "Hi," he said breathlessly.
"Hi," I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"What's silly?" he asked, nudging my neck with his nose, burrowing again.
"I was trying to, I don't know … savor it, make it last – this moment, this morning – it's silly, I just wanted to remember how I felt just now, waking up with you, that's all," I said softly, he raised his head to look at me … the kindness in his eyes overpowered me and I felt lost for a minute without really being lost at all. How on earth did he do that to me?
"Me too," he said, kissing my check. "Which is why," he said, before kissing my forehead. "I wanted you to wake up," he laughed, before kissing me fully on my mouth. I smiled into his mouth.
I pumped his lips with mine, once, twice, it was certainly a good morning. Derek lay his head down on my chest, I spread my hands into his hair and massaged his skull. I could feel his hot breath on my skin – which prickled with heat in response – he placed his hand on my ribcage, caressing the underside of my breast absentmindedly. He inhaled a deep breath and I kissed him through his messy hair.
"I plan on getting used to this … it can't get much better," Derek sighed, hugging me tighter and I giggled, loud and big. "What?" he chuckled softly.
"Oh, I can think of a way this could be much better," I giggled, pressing the sides of my heels down into his perfect ass.
"Oh really," he challenged, pressing himself into my pelvic bone.
"Hmm," I groaned and Derek raised his head.
"Hmm, I like the way you think … almost there, we've almost made it," he sighed. "But Meredith, I'm serious, nothing could come close to beating this and last night, I swear, it was the best night's sleep I've had in … forever," he said sincerely.
"Me too," I said, kissing his neck and squeezing him into me. "Tell me about your day, your schedule," I said.
"Do you want a rundown from before or after the shower I'm gonna take with you?" he teased, rolling over me to his side to spoon me. I snuggled back into him and looked out the window, light morning sun almost upon us now. Derek brought his hand up to my chest and I laced my fingers into his.
"Oh, after, for sure, you can surprise me in the shower," I laughed.
"Well, I'll come in with you, I need to do some post op stuff with Burke and then I was hoping we could talk to Patricia about your paperwork," he said, he squeezed my hand.
"Yeah," I said, thinking about the Chief for a split second and what he might make of this change – not that it would matter to him or maybe it would – it's bittersweet. Derek kissed my shoulder and I snuggled into him again. "And then?" I asked.
"Well, then I was gonna head home and check on Doc, he's been battling it out with the raccoons over his self-feeders … losing on most accounts, I'm afraid," Derek said with a chuckle.
"Poor Doc," I giggled. "Hmm, so will you come back when my shift is over?" I asked hesitantly.
"You bet, I'll want to check on Burke again regardless," Derek said seriously, his voice still solemn.
"Yeah, so, how about that shower you promised me?" I teased, turning into him. I pressed a kiss to his neck, he snaked his arms around me and kissed my head through my hair. I pressed my ear against his chest, his heartbeat was strong, level, even, regular.
"I'll go warm the water up, I know how hot you like it," he teased. He pulled back and I smiled into his eyes, trying again to sear this morning, this moment into my memory bank. He kissed me and rolled out of bed.
Derek let the bathroom door close all but an inch. I heard the faucet bring the water to life. After several moments, I watched as the steam started to swirl out of the room and marveled at this moment in time and all it took to get here and all I had to look forward to … sure, today was gonna be different, big changes would be made in our lives.
Changes that were monumental for a loner like me, someone who has only ever been orphaned … someone who has only had herself to be her guardian … it was huge, to knowingly welcome this loss of control. But at the end of the day – I would have a new person, a new someone to count on when times might be tough, someone who would be my advocate and watch out for me and love me and care for me – if one day, I wasn't able to care for myself … and that person was undeniably Derek Shepherd.
Chapter 12 – This Year's Love – Part 2 of 4 to follow.
