A/N... Ugh! So not sure about this chapter,but it's up now, the next one will be better and longer..xxx
Gail arrived at Holly's around 8pm her shift lasted longer then she hoped," sometimes I wish I had a nine to five job" the blonde sulked opening a bottle of beer .
"Mmmm" Holly smiled " I wouldn't even give you a week before you quit".
"Yeah well, at least I wouldn't have to endure Chloe Price for 10 hours a day ,my god she is annoying" Gail sulked as she slumped down on the couch kissing the brunette quickly." can I take a shower"?
Holly frowned " Gail I don't know why you still feel the need to ask me, I want you to feel at home here"
Gail smiled leaning over to capture Holly's lips again " I think we should hang out in your room and watch was shitty TV tonight"
Holly kissed Gail again "sounds good to me, I'll make us a snack"
Once Gail headed upstairs Holly sat massaging her temples,she knew she had to tell Gail about her day and what she had offered Cyrus, she also knew it wasn't going to be a conversation that would go well.
She hated herself for lying to the blonde and she knew her actions were more then likely going to either end or cause troubles in their relationship . Part of her wishes she could have just let things go, not care about Cyrus West and his life, was it really worth losing her relationship with Gail over"?
Holly kicked herself for not thinking these kind of things before she met the man... Would Gail surprise her and support her, once she explained her reasons why"?
Of coarse she wouldn't, she's a police officer,raised to be strong, taught to not have empathy " shit" Holly said to herself ,the realisation had really kicked in and Holly was afraid ...
"Hey nerd " Gail called out "I'm out, where's my snack"?
Holly jumped up off the sofa "uh yeah I uh.. Im coming "
Holly Fixed up some grilled cheese sandwhichs and headed to the bedroom placing Gail's on her lap ..
Gail raised her eyebrows looking at the Doctor " snacks in the bed? You hate crumbs"
Holly shrugged with a smile ..
Gail wasn't going to argue she was happy to let it go, she snuggled deeper into the bed lifting her pillow a little higher " you're the best" she grinned as how took a bite into the sandwhich... " what do you wanna watch "?
Holly suddenly wasn't hungry, she left her food on the night stand and led on her side next to Gail so she could face her " whatever you want" she shrugged ..
Gail to engrossed in her snack to care..flicking through the TV channels " man why is cable full of the same shit?, we watched at least four of these programmes already this week"
Holly watched the blonde, trying to take in this moment, she wasn't sure if it would happen again, tears began to form in her eyes ,she was afraid, afraid Gail wouldn't be able to understand, she could feel her heart begin to race " Gail " she whispered
"Mmmmm" was Gail's reply
"I love you"
Gail looked down at the brunette " you ok"? She asked through a mouthful of food ..
Holly nodded " I just want you to know"
Gail swallowed her food and wiped her mouth before leaning down to kiss Holly fully on her mouth " I dig you to nerd" she winked
Gail felt good being at Holly's house, she loved her huge bed and the fact it always smelled fresh and clean with a hint of Holly's moisturiser , she loved the room she had in the shower and how Holly never complained how long she took, she loved how she didn't feel the need to have to talk if she didn't want to , although conversation always flowed easily for the pair.. She liked that it felt like home to her and she loved that..
"Wanna watch this thing about frogs?" She asked " I think I actually kinda like frogs, I mean they're slimy and probably smelly and they jump around and stuff ,but they are kinda cute don't you think"? Gail asked looking down when Holly didn't answer " what's wrong"? She worried when she saw the look on Holly's face " Hols are you ok"?
Holly sniff and cleared her throat " Gail? You know sometimes people they say and do things that other people may not get or understand "
" what does that have to do with frogs"? Gail laughed..
"I'm not talking about frogs Gail " Holly said sitting up " I'm talking about people, I'm taking about how some times we do things that maybe we shouldn't, but right there in that moment it felt like the right thing to do, Im talking about how sometimes other people will be mad about it and how all that person wants is to make things right, make things ok ya know"?
Gail watched on as Holly rambled, she had no clue what Holly was talking about .. She sat silently just waiting for Holly to give her a clue .
Holly stood up and paced the room " you know from the first moment I met you , you had my attention , your healthy disrespect for everything amused me, and I was amazed how the snark just rolled off your tongue, sometimes I would see it in your face that even you were surprised when it came out, I couldn't get enough of you.. I still can't , everyday you surprise me, you make me smile and I've never laughed like I do with you"
Gail sat up straight in the bed,the rambling finally got her attention and she felt uneasy about what Holly was saying .. "Holly"?
"I just need you to know that no matter what happens I do love you, and I want to be with you more then I ever have anyone else, your really important to me" Holly continued
"Holly?"
"I fell for you so hard and so fast"
"Holly"?
"You mean the world to me Gail"?
"Holly" Gail finally shouted bringing Holly back to the moment "what's wrong? What's happened"?
Holly sighed heavily,tears fighting to fall down her cheeks " I ... I lied "
Gail looked intensely at the Doctor " lied?...to who"?
Holly swallowed hard looking down at her hands " you" she whispered barely audio
Gail's breath caught in her throat, she instantly felt a knot in her stomach .." About"?
Holly nodded she knew it was time to fess up " the flowers at work, I told you they were from colleagues, but they weren't "
Gail laughed "oh no they weren't from some ex were they? Don't tell me she heard what happened and realised your the one?" She laughed again " oh wait should I be worried? Do I have competition?"
"They were from Cyrus West" Holly blurted out
Gail's jaw dropped "what?"
Holly nodded "yeah"
The brunette could see the instant anger in the blondes eyes, it was like she was waiting for the storm to hit " I didn't tell you there and then because well... I don't know, I didn't think I just said what I did"
Gail sat Silently for what felt like forever , Holly could feel her eyes burning through her, why wasn't she saying anything? Why wasn't she losing her temper?
"Gail say something"?
"What else"? Gail asked "I can see it in your face you're not done, so I'll wait until I know everything"?
Holly sighed closing her eyes " I just need you to understand, I need you to put yourself in my shoes for a minute, I need you to not be a cop right now "
"What have you done Holly"? Gail urged ..
Holly took a deep breath " I met him"
"What"? Gail fumed her voice raised "what the fuck do you mean you've met him"?
"Ok, ok look I know what your going to say and I .. I "
"What do you mean you met him"? Gail repeated this time her tone was shaper .. "What the fuck were you thinking!"
Holly wiped a falling tear "I know to you this is crazy and I know you don't get it but I'm asking you to let me explain .."
"Oh I'm all fucking ears, please tell me how you thought for one second that ...that meeting him would be a good idea" Gail spat
"Ok firstly calm down and please stop cussing at me " Holly asked " I want us to talk about this like adults"
"calm down? Calm down? You want me to calm down when you've just told me you've lied to me and you've met up with the guy that threatened to kill you " Gail shouted " you want me to be ok with this? She laughed in amusement " You want me to quit cussing ? Well sorry Holly but I'm mad and when I'm mad I like to use the word fuck... A lot "
Holly shook her head " Gail I'm sorry ok , but I need you to listen to me and let me explain why I had to "
Gail stood up from the bed folding her arms " go head, convince me how what you've done is justified"
Holly took a deep breath " I couldn't sleep, I couldn't get him out if my head, the look in his eyes, the fear, the sadness, the pain "
"Oh my heart bleeds for him " Gail bitched .. Holly sucked her bottom lip into her mouth " you and I are built differently Gail, I tried to ignore it, push the feelings away but I couldn't, then I got those flowers,he said he couldn't forgive himself for what he did"
"Oh please" Gail fumed " he was just happy he wasn't in jail... Where he should be"
Holly removed her glass to rub her eyes " I needed to know how he got where he is, how his brother came to die"
" well your in-forensics, the bullet shoud be enough for you"
"I don't mean what killed him Gail, I wanted to know why they were in that gang, why his brother got involved so young"
Gail moved to the window needed to look away from Holly "I hate to tell you this but 15-16 isn't young, I've seen gang bangers as young as 11 -12 "
"Cyrus wants to be better Gail, he just needs someone to believe in him"
Gail spun around " and your the person to do that are you Hol? Mmm your the one to save him"?
"he wanted out of that gang Gail, he quit, he said no more, he wants better "
Gail shook her head " you know for a nerd your very naive, I see these kids day in day out, terrorising the streets and the innocent people that live there, selling drugs that kill people Holly, and yeah they are all sorry when they're being sent to jail, they wanted better, they all have reasons why they gang bang, my father wasn't around, my mother was on drugs, my step father beat me, it's boring and they are all full of shit, and he's laughing at you"
"No" Holly argued" no Gail in this case you're wrong"
"Oh because you know my job better then me huh"? Gail spat "you see these assholes all the time do you?"
"Every body deserves a second chance don't they" Holly wept
Gail hated seeing Holly so upset and wanted nothing more then to not feel so angry towards her, to be able to be ok with what she had done, but unfortunately she was a Peck,and that didn't come easily to any of them.." A second chance?" She laughed mockingly "get a fucking grip Holly, you don't give gang bangers second chances and I hate to tell you this , but he is no different to the fool who pulled that trigger, I'll be sure to high five him if I ever see him though, because he's certainly done a good job on you"
"It's not like that Gail? He's sincere,he wants to be better for himself and his mom, he's had nothing to do with those gangs since his brother died, before infact, he's going to prove himself, I know he is, when I gave him the job... " Shit Holly thought stopping herself mid sentence...that bit wasn't meant to come out just yet..
"You did what?" Gail swallowed "you've gave him a fucking what now?"
Holly panicked "ok it's only cleaning, helping the generator out, it will keep him out of trouble"
Gail couldn't hear and more she began to grab her clothes getting herself dressed .. "Wait what are you doing ? Where are you going"?
"I can't believe you " Gail laughed " I actually have no words, I can't believe you would do this"
"Gail please"
"Just leave it Holly" Gail warned pulling her jeans up " I can't even talk about this anymore, I just physically can't hear anymore.. You are fucking insane, I actually don't know what the fuck you were thinking"?
Gail sat to put her boots on? Holly knew she had one last attempted of keeping the blonde there " Gail please, I know your mad and upset about this, but we need to talk"
"I don't want to talk no more" Gail sulked standing to head towards the bedroom door " i can't be here"
"Please Gail " Holly cried "please don't walk out on me"
Gail's hand was on the door knob the door half opened when she stop in her tracks , taking a deep breath she turned to look at the brunette " I'm not walking out on you, I'm waking out in this situation, because right now I have never been more angry and hurt and upset about anything in my life like I do right now , and I'm not great with words and I will say something I regret "
"I love you" Holly whispered causing Gail to shake her head " no!,you can't love me, because you would never have done this if you did" .. She didn't give Holly a chance to reply she ran down the stairs and out of the door as quick as her legs would carry her... Once outside she took the biggest breath she could.. Her chest felt tight, her head feeling like it was ready to explode ... " fuck" she moaned before kicking the wall "fuck, stupid fucking .. Shit"
...
Holly hadn't slept all night, she hoped Gail was just taken sometime to cool off . She contemplated calling her but each time deciding not too.. Would she even answer? This was Gail and she is nothing if not stubborn.. Holly knew she had to let Gail come to her.. So as much as she wanted to stay in bed and sulk all day she had to go to work...
"Wow! You look like shit" Traci laughed entering the locker room "heavy night"?
" something like that" Gail answered
Traci frowned hearing the sadness in her friends voice " you ok"?
"Holly gave Cyrus West a job at the morgue "
"What"? Traci gasped " how? I mean when?
Gail rubbed her eyes " I didn't get that far, I had up get out of there"
Traci knew it was fess up time " ahh Gail this is all my fault"
Gail frowned Looking at her fellow officer like she's confused "what"?
" Ok so the other day I uh ..I had to release Wests body to his family and well um... Traci swallowed sitting up straight to prepare herself "I took Holly with me" she cringed waiting for Gail to erupted "Peck" style but nothing came ...in fact Gail sat silently .. "Gail should I be running for the hills right about now"?
"So that's what you and Steve were taking about in your office"?
Traci nodded " I had no idea she offered him a job though Gail . We sat with his mom and she asked Holly some questions then we left, I swear to you "
Gail let out a shaky breath "I see"
Gails behaviour unnerved the detective " do you wanna verbally beat me up? Or physically?"
Gail got up adjusting her vest before picking up her coat " what's the point"? She shrugged " it just means that every single person in this world I love and trust have let me down, lied to me,..you, Steve, Holly, I can't trust any of you any more" ..
"Gail"?
"Please just leave me alone" Gail asked calmly leaving the locker room ..
Gail worked her shift mostly in silence , Oliver was her partner for the day and had tried to coax her out of her mood with donuts, coffee and cheese puffs ,all if which she declined "The Penny"? He asked
Gail shook her head " no thanks, I just wanna get home"
"Ooooh"he laughed "hot night with the Doc huh"?
Gail forced a smiled and a little wave leaving Oliver none the wiser as to why he's favourite rookie was so glum ... "Steven Peck" he called out as Steve came into view " what have you done to my little Peck? She hasn't eaten all day and no one's had the pleasure of her snark"
"Beats me" Steve shrugged sipping on a bottle of water "maybe it's that time of the month "
"Uh gross, and also nope.. She's worse that week, I'm worried about her"
Steve nodded "leave it with me" he smiled pulling his phone out of his pocket ..
S- so Oliver tells me something's up with Gail, do you know anything about that"?
T- she knows about Holly and Cyrus west :(
S- oh shit, and what are the chances she doesn't know we know?
T- if only.. She hates us, she's really hurt and weirdly very quiet .
S- I knew this would happen.. How's Holly?
T- I haven't had chance to see yet, I'm worried about Gail, Steve.
S- Gail will be alright
T- Steve don't you get it? She's so hurt, she doesn't feel she can trust us anymore.. Can you talk to her?
S- no way.. I value my life thanks .. Let her cool off.. Dinner tonight ?
T- no .. If you won't find her I will .. Good night Steve ..
Steve sulked knowing there was no point arguing a case "Sammy?Fancy some poker"?
"Always" Sam Swarek clapped" gimme 30 and I'll be there"
...
"Room for one more? " Traci asked approaching with caution
"Nope" Gail answered downing what looked like her fifth tequila " I don't drink with back stabbers "
"Gail c'mon.. I didn't set out to go behind your back, Holly's a very formidable women she wouldn't take no for an answer"
"Well she's offered him a job, I mean what the fuck was she thinking"?
"Wow, I have no idea, but she has her reasons so maybe you should talk to her"?
Gail sunk another shot " nope, I don't wanna hear it, I can't right now"
"Sweety I know your mad at me , Steve and Holly right now but we love and care about you, and I don't want to see you sit here and drink yourself stupid " Traci said hoping Gail would maybe go to Holly's or even home ..
"No one asked you to be here, so leave" Gail bitched ..
Traci shook her head .. Gail was going to stay and drink herself stupid no matter what anyone said so she knew she would be fighting a losing battle and the last thing she wanted to do was upset the blonde anymore ..
"Ok Gail.. I'll leave you be"
"Good" Gail replied downing yet another shot ..
...
