Hitching the satchel strap farther up on her shoulder, Faith waved to Richard's secretary before entering his office. It felt more natural today. Faith wasn't afraid she'd interrupt something important. Not now. Not with the Books of Ascension bouncing against her left hip. "Mornin', Boss."

Richard glanced up from the paperwork on his desk. "Aren't you in a chipper mood today? Did you have too much caffeine with your breakfast? That stuff is bad for you."

Faith endured his lecture, warmth suffusing her face at his caring. "No caffeine, I promise." She didn't mention she hadn't had breakfast. She didn't really want him to lecture her about that, too. "Just wanted to report in on the Books. I found your demon."

"Excellent!" Leaning back in his chair, Richard placed his hands behind his head and propped his feet on his desk. "How much is it going to cost me? I can't imagine this demon just gave them to you as a belated Christmas gift."

"Well…" Faith drew out the word – then couldn't hold out any longer. She wanted to see his face when he saw the Books. The satchel landed on his desk with a thump. "Merry Christmas, Sir." No matter how hard she tried, Faith couldn't keep a grin of anticipation off her face.

Eyes narrowing, Richard sat up and opened the bag. "My Books!" Was it Faith's imagination, or did his hands tremble slightly as he pulled the first book reverently out of the bag? "You wonderful girl. Do you have any idea what this means to me?"

"It wasn't much," Faith said softly. She felt suddenly light. As if some weight had dropped from her shoulders. Everything in the room appeared brighter. Sharper.

"Not much?" Richard set the book down carefully and then came around the desk. "Don't you ever say that again, Faith. Do you hear me?" He gripped her chin tightly, forcing her to look up at him. "You did something no one else could do. I sent you out to find information, Faith. Just information. And what did you do? You found the demon and convinced him to give me the Books."

That wasn't right. The lightness drained away, replaced with liquid lead. Guilt dragged at Faith. "I killed him."

The fingers gentled. "My dear Faith." Richard smiled, Faith's favorite goofy smile. "How many demons have you killed as a Slayer? Fifty? One hundred? More? This Skyler, he was worse than those other demons. He was working with Allan."

The name was unexpected, and Faith flinched.

"He was working with Allan," Richard repeated. "They were trying to kill me, remember? Why would you think I'd be upset that you had to get rid of him?"

"I don't know." Now that he mentioned it, Faith wondered the same thing. She was a Slayer. Leaving the Council didn't mean she couldn't kill vampires and demons any more. She sure as Hell didn't feel bad about staking the vampires she'd interrogated. "I..." Faith swallowed as the answer hit her. She didn't want to disappoint him. And what she did, how she felt about it - what if the Mayor didn't really understand. "I killed him. The demon. I didn't have to. I coulda just taken the books and left him there." She'd killed him because she wanted to. Without even thinking about other options.

Tilting his head, Richard watched Faith. Watched her so closely she squirmed against his grip. It was as if he could see right into her mind. "What would have happened if you left Skyler alive? Would he have been happy you took my Books without paying him? Or that you had the books at all?"

"No," Faith answered immediately. Of course, he wouldn't have been happy about that.

"Exactly. Skyler was a threat, Faith. To me and to this city. You protected us both. You did nothing wrong. You did a good job, Faith," Richard assured her. "Sometimes, you have to put your morals aside to get the job done. Remember that, Faith."

His reassurance helped. Faith took a deep breath. "Yes, Sir." She wouldn't worry about killing Skyler anymore. She'd just been doing her job, doing what Richard had asked her to do. "Thanks." Faith missed the warmth of his hand when Richard stepped back and returned to his seat on the other side of the desk. "What now? You gonna give the books to Giles and the Council so they can figure out why Finch," Faith struggled with the name, "wanted 'em?"

Richard's expression chilled. "Why would I give my Books to the Council?"

Now she'd really upset him. Faith didn't understand why her question had been out of line. Hunching her shoulders, she kept her eyes on his desktop. "Sorry. Guess I thought... I mean, ain't they the experts on all things demon?"

There was a minute of stilted silence. "Well, I suppose you could say that." Richard thawed a little. "I question that, though. Look how they misjudged you!" With a wave of his hand, he indicated Faith should have a seat. "Before I call that oh-so-proper Mr. Giles, I want to have a look for myself."

Faith dropped into the chair as if her legs had been kicked out from under her. Damn it! Why did she always do that? Why did she always say or do the wrong thing? "Whatever you say, Boss." Her stomach felt funny, a rubber band twisted and stretched until it was close to breaking.

"You look tired. You didn't get hurt, did you?" Richard asked.

"No." Faith's voice squeaked, and she realized she was embarrassingly close to tears. She wanted to leave. Run. Now, before Richard noticed. But she couldn't do that to him. "Not a scratch," she added after clearing her throat. If she held still enough and didn't blink, maybe she'd wouldn't cry.

Either Richard didn't believe her or he was simply ready for her to leave. "Take the rest of the day off, Faith. Go enjoy the sunshine and get some sleep. You really do look tired. We'll meet back here tonight. I want to go over some plans for training my night-time security staff and set up patrol schedules."

Training and schedules. Just like at the House. Only Richard apparently thought Faith was as smart as Giles. "Sure, Boss." What would he do when he realized she couldn't do what he wanted? Faith trudged from the office, despair stamping out any lingering sense of achievement.


The tiny doughnut shop Willow and Xander had praised was out of the way. And small. So small Tara took her coffee and bag of sugary goodness to the outdoor sitting area. Her only class on Tuesdays met in the afternoon. She wanted to sit in the sun and think until then.

And read. Munching on a jelly doughnut (which made her remember Xander's comment about Giles), Tara pulled the first volume of Domination: A Road to Self-Discovery from her backpack. Unless she wanted to resemble a car broken down on the side of the Domination highway, Tara needed to continue her studies.

The journey to true Domination begins and ends with honesty. While many espouse the belief that a Master or Mistress answers to the need of their submissive above all, honesty must come first. Honesty within the self then honesty within the dynamic.

Each Dominant comes into a bonding with a set of life experiences which shape, or filter, every action and decision in the future.

Tara snorted. Really? Whoever had given these books to her had wasted their money. She could have written that all on her own. Of course, her past affected her. She'd hidden her magic and run from her Dominance since leaving home. All because of her past.

It seems a simple solution. Open both heart and mind, embrace the past. Be free. Yet who among us runs joyfully to throw open the doors to our deepest, darkest fears? The nightmare memories and the cruel, petty actions we have excused or deliberately misremembered to salve our conscience? As some meditate to find inner peace or enlightenment, so must the Dominant strive to empty themselves of the chains of the past.

"Easier said than done," Tara complained, taking a savage bite of her doughnut. Jelly squished out and she hastily shoved the book to safety. "OK. So step one. Admit I'm a coward and that my father was a mean, abusive bastard." Despite her flippant comments, Tara knew it would not be that simple. There were things, even now… Shivering, Tara closed the book with a sharp snap and wrapped both hands around her Styrofoam coffee cup.

She had to do this. "Stop being afraid," Tara told herself.

Treating the book like a venomous snake, Tara carefully reopened it. The truth always hurt, right? She had to confront her past; the author was correct. Fine. Tara vowed she'd do it.


Rubbing at the goose bumps on her arms, Faith scanned the nearby streets. Buffy must be out there somewhere. The electric tingle in her veins was a clear early warning signal. Faith just couldn't see her. Watcher Wes probably had Buffy tailing her to make sure she didn't go on a killing spree. Uptight asshole. Ignoring the continuing buzz, she headed into the doughnut shop. Skipping breakfast to visit the Mayor had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, though, Faith was ready to eat a horse.

The girl behind the counter recognized her and immediately reached for a stack of empty cardboard boxes. "Your usual? It must be a busy day at the House. Janna was in a couple of hours ago."

Faith's pulse quickened. Janna rarely did the food runs. Either Buffy had Xander all chained up or they were into some heavy research. "Nah. I got the munchies," she said. "If it's got chocolate, I'll take one. And a six-pack of milk." It felt weird to toss actual cash onto the counter and not bill breakfast to the House account.

She waited impatiently while the girl piled two dozen doughnuts into boxes and added plastic bottles of milk to a carrier. Faith carried her bounty outside – and stopped. Fan-fucking-tastic. Tara was here. She couldn't get away from the Council no matter what she did. On the verge of storming back to her apartment, Faith noticed Tara's fierce scowl. Whatever she was reading must not be good news. Faith grinned. The pages hadn't burst into flames yet, but she didn't give it long.

What to do? Sneak past the obviously preoccupied witch or go home?

The decision was taken out of her hands. Tara's head snapped up and her eyes locked unerringly on Faith. The scowl turned into the most amazing smile. Faith's knees started to fold until she caught herself and straightened up. What the hell was that all about? "Hey," she mumbled.

"Hey, back." Tara was still smiling. In fact, she looked like Faith had given her a lifetime of Christmas presents all at once. She must really have wanted a distraction from her book. "Sit down." The order crackled in the air, and Faith stiffened. Tara, of course, noticed. Her eyes widened before disappearing behind a waterfall of blonde hair. "S-sorry. I was…I didn't mean…"

"Whatever, Lady Tara." Faith strode across the outdoor patio and dropped into the chair across from Tara. "You ain't shy. The way you been actin' lately, I'm thinkin' you might take on B as Sunnydale's Head Bitch." Probably not. Faith couldn't imagine anyone out-Dominating Buffy. Still, Tara looked like she could use some encouragement. That blush had to be painful.

Apparently, Tara agreed with Faith's exaggeration. "I d-did get Buffy to take Xander on patrol with her last night. What do you think? Mayb-be I'm already better than she is."

Faith laughed. She couldn't help it. "You're a bruiser, T. No doubt about it. Should I give up my chair and hit the pavement?"

"You mean, should you kneel?" The stutter was gone. Tara's voice had firmed, and the words brushed over Faith's skin like a caress. "You'd need a pillow first, sweetie. The concrete wouldn't be good for your knees. I'd hate it if you got hurt on patrol because you were stiff and sore."

Holy crap. Who was this Dominant, and what had she done with Tara? Faith shifted in her chair, aware of a new tingle between her legs. One that had absolutely nothing to do with Buffy. "That would suck, yeah." Her voice was stuck between a husky rumble and an embarrassing squeak – and Tara's eyes darkened at the sound. The morning air heated until Faith thought there might be sparks blowing on the breeze.

Tara felt it, too. Faith watched her lick her lips and swallow hard.

"Eat your breakfast, Faith." It wasn't what Faith expected to hear. Frowning in confusion, Faith stared at Tara until she tapped a finger against the top of Faith's doughnut boxes. "You didn't come here looking for a play date. You were hungry. You should eat."

"Are you kidding?" The words exploded out; Faith didn't even attempt to censor them. She and Tara had been in synch. Faith had been ready to mention her apartment; to invite her back for way more than doughnuts.

Tara took her anger in stride. She appeared to…absorb the words. Meeting Faith's gaze, she repeated softly, "Eat, Faith."

No way. Faith placed her hands on the table, intending to leave. To Hell with Tara. She'd go somewhere, one of the local bars, and find someone to help scratch the itch Tara had started. And then those eyes, Tara's eyes, stopped her. Tara didn't say anything. But her eyes hardened.

Tara clearly wanted Faith to stay seated and to eat.

"I am kinda hungry," Faith said, needing to explain why she gave in so easily.

Head tilting to one side, Tara responded, "Two dozen doughnuts? That's 'kinda hungry'? You must have thought I was trying to starve you at lunch that day. Half a sandwich isn't even an appetizer for you, is it?"

Rather than answer, Faith took a huge bite of a chocolate glazed doughnut.

"Next time, I'll do better." Tara said back and gave Faith the Evil Eye. "And if I get it wrong again, I expect you to tell me."

Tara had changed a lot since the Winter Social. The shy little mouse had learned to roar.

"Did Giles drop a book on your head last night?" Of course, Faith had a mouth full of doughnut when she spoke.

That might have explained the lag time between the question and the answer. "I don't think so. But if it was The Compendium of Ancient Vampyres and Demon Clans I might have a concussion and not be able to remember it. It must weigh thirty pounds."

"And Giles keeps it on the top shelf." Working her way through the rest of the doughnuts and milk, Faith read the spine of Tara's book. "You get your 'grr' on 'cause you been readin' that?"

Tara grabbed the book and stuffed it in her backpack.

Ooh, she'd scored a direct hit. Something in that book had affected Tara, and Tara was trying to hide it. Wanting more information – but not wanting to act like it - Faith casually leaned back, legs stretched out. "You wanna tell me why you got to read about bein' a Dominant?"

"You want to tell me how the new job with the Mayor's going?" Tara fired back. She must not have bought Faith's uncaring routine. She clearly wasn't willing to tell Faith about whatever she'd been reading.

And Faith had no intention of discussing the Mayor with anyone from the Council. Not even Tara.

Luckily, Tara didn't push. In fact, she slumped back in her chair. "If I keep losing Dominant points with you, I'll have to move my marker to the right." Tara ran a hand through her hair. "And that could be a problem. I have it on very good authority that my marker in on the correct side." From the way she plucked at the leather cuff, though, Faith thought Tara could have some doubts. Really? She'd been doing fine up to now. And she was a whole lot better than Buffy, who ran roughshod over everyone.

"Red give you that book?" Only Willow would think reading would teach something as action-intensive as a dynamic.

Tara thought about the question. "I don't think so. A friend threw a party when I…when I bonded." For someone chatting about finding her soulmate, Tara didn't seem exactly overjoyed. "No one there admitted to getting it for me. And Willow didn't know anything about the bond then." Gathering up all the trash on the table, Tara continued. "You'll be happy to know that my merry band of Dominant mentors agrees with you. Reading is fun and enhances the mind. It does not, thank you, Faith, teach anyone – including me – to be a Dominant."

There were some serious issues rumbling around behind Tara's pretty blue eyes. Faith very wisely said nothing. In fact, she inched her chair back a little. Don't mess with the cranky Domme, idiot, she mentally warned herself. Especially one who could do magic.

"How far in the points hole am I now?" Tara put her head on the table.

"I lost count." Reaching across the table, Faith gently patted the top of Tara's head. "Don't matter anyway. What I think ain't important. You got a sub. What do they think?"

If anything, Tara appeared even more miserable. "I don't know. The bond isn't complete."

That sucked. Faith didn't know what to say so she sat there, watching a bird hunt for crumbs under a table across the patio. What would it be like to know there was someone out there? Someone who was supposed to be a perfect match?

The hair on Faith's arms sprang to attention. Damn Buffy for lurking. Faith glared at the empty sidewalk for a second before rubbing a hand up and down her forearms. "So you're gettin' ready. That's why you got that book." Lucky sub. Tara was pretty and way nicer than any Dominant Faith had met. "You happy about it? The bond?"

A minute ago, Tara had been slumped over the table. At Faith's question, though, she sat upright. "Yes. Yes, I am. Even though the she's blocking the link, my submissive is beautiful and smart. And I can't wait to show her how much I want her."

Beautiful and smart. Faith's throat tightened and an ache developed in her chest. She wanted someone to say things like that about her – and it would never happen. Her mother, Diana, the Council. They all knew the truth. Even the Mayor would know soon.

"Have you ever…dreamed of finding your Dominant?" Tara asked, watching Faith intently.

"No," Faith answered curtly. Not since her first john had given her "lessons on obedience". Her back burned with phantom welts, and she automatically leaned away from the back of the chair in response. "Who'd want me? You're with the Council. I bet they told you all about me. I'm a legend; the worst Slayer ever."

Tara was out her chair and around the table so quickly Faith jerked in surprise. "Don't you ever say anything like that again! You are a good Slayer. The only people who don't agree are that idiot Wesley – and you." Her fingers gripped Faith's chin firmly for a second before gentling. They slipped away, gliding across her throat, lingering over her suddenly pounding pulse point, and then tangling in the hair at the nape of Faith's neck. "Goddess, you are so beautiful," Tara whispered. Right before her lips descended on Faith's.

This was no tender, testing kiss. Tara's shy, hippy appearance hid a wild, violent side. Her teeth nipped at Faith's lips, and her tongue dueled with Faith's.

Faith reared back, and Tara's fingers nearly ripped a handful of hair from her head as she held Faith in place. Fuck, yes. The outdoor patio dropped away. Holding still, Faith allowed Tara to control the kiss. To control her. There was no drive to resist. No need to run away. Faith melted into the wet heat of Tara's mouth.

She was so lost in sensation it took several seconds to realize Tara had pulled away and run from the coffee shop.