Disclaimer: I own all of the plot, history, and people except for Ulquiorra in this part of the story. Bleach and bleach concepts belong to Tite Kubo. I hope you enjoy.
Warnings: AU & OOC on the part of Ulquiorra
As usual, if you have questions, message me.
Hounoku no Ai: A Spring Long Past
Chapter 28
The sound of a sword slicing through something sliced through my tension and I opened my eyes tentatively. The monster now had a huge gash dividing its head and had stopped in its tracks. I was alive, but I might as well have been dead. Ulquiorra stood with his back turned towards me. The monster slowly disintegrated as did his attention for it. He sheathed his sword and turned towards. At the moment our eyes locked my stomach dropped in horror. I couldn't look at him directly.
The monster was gone and there wasn't a single breeze. The world was silent.
His eyes stared at me and then not quite at me and instead through me. His mouth wasn't agape but his lips were slightly parted, but the corners were pinched into a frown. His eyes gave me the uncomfortable vibes of a stare, but it was too cold and impersonal to make me feel like he was staring at me. It was so faint that I imagined it to be the nonexistent wind, but for a moment, I thought a sound slipped from his lips and sounded like a strained whisper.
"You-"
"Ulquiorra," I said wetting my suddenly dry mouth. "I can explain-"
"When I went to inquire the condition of the princess, the servants told me that she was resting and that absolutely no one was to enter." He said dryly. "I thought I saw someone sneak out of the Hime-sama's tent, but was too occupied to chase after the person immediately. I heard a strange noise that only I could hear so I came and found you here."
My throat tightened in horror when his eyes showed me that he knew. "Ulquiorra," I said a little too quickly and urgently.
"Asako, is not on the registry of handmaids for the Ju-no-hime-sama," he said sharply.
"Ulquiorra," I repeated a little softer. "Please," I pleaded with him.
Ulquiorra was a man of duty and I was afraid of what both he and I anticipated he would do next.
"Please don't-" I choked and could not finish.
Please don't alienate me.
I searched his eyes and didn't know how many things I saw in the shape of his eyes and eyebrows. I didn't know if he felt humiliated, deceived, betrayed, disgusted, joy, or anything else. I couldn't see what was in his mind, but I knew that everything I felt was as obvious as daylight.
After a moment, he broke our gaze, dropped onto his knees, and bowed his head lowly.
"Your humble servant apologizes deeply for all of his unforgivable wrong doings. I accept whatever punishment you decide for me, Ju-no-hime-sama."
I felt the weight I had tried so hard to avoid come crushing down on me. I literally felt the air leave my lungs and struggle to return. I tilted my head upwards so that the tears that filled my eyes of their own accord didn't overflow. I pressed my lips together, but couldn't hide the bitter smile and laugh that erupted from the pits of my stomach.
"So that's how it is," I whispered to myself. It was only a foolish dream. It was ridiculous, utterly preposterous to think that anyone could accept a princess as a normal friend and companion. Royalty were fated to live a lonely and predetermined life. It was foolish for me to have tried to escape this destiny. And as a result of my efforts, I only got hurt more by it.
I closed my eyes for a moment. Then with a painfully bright smile, I looked at the girl beside me.
"I'm sorry that you experienced something so scary." I said patting Miyu's head. She seemed to sense my sadness.
"Asako-nee-san, I don't understand. Are you really a princess?" She asked. My smile dropped, but only for a moment.
"I suppose I am," I said regretfully.
"Then maybe you can help, Miyu." She said. "I remember now that I took my mother's locket into the field and lost it. It was in the fall time and the corn stalks were so high that I couldn't find the way out."
I gave her a tight hug. "I will definitely help you find it, Miyu-chan," I said. "I'll come back tomorrow."
She responded with an okay but sounded slightly sad.
I turned to Ulquiorra.
"Rise, Grand General Ulquiorra Schiffer." I commanded. "You did not know who I was and thus there is no crime to bear, please raise your head." I said, but he didn't change his position. I wanted to sigh, but I held it in. I was just another hime in his eyes now. I was same as them in their cruelty towards the regular people, in their vanity, and in their docile spirit except that I had an extra note of deception tacked on in my name. "If you are that eager for punishment, then you must deliver me to the South and back safely. That is your punishment, do you think you could do that, Grand General Ulquiorra Schiffer?"
"I understand, your highness," he said standing but keeping his gaze lowered. "Please return to your quarters now, Hime-sama. It is unsafe here."
The atmosphere suffocated me as we returned to camp. He didn't spare me a single glance.
For the first time in my life, I felt like the worst person in the world.
--
After I spent the entire morning moping about my situation, I decided in the evening that I needed to bring the moping to an end. I had promised to help Miyu find the locket she had lost and I would honor that promise. I told the maids again that I was to rest and that no one was to enter. I only changed into one of my simpler dresses when I took the chance to sneak out.
Immediately, I was encircled by a group of soldiers. I glared at them. "Stand down." I commanded.
None of them budged which angered me. "What is the meaning of this, Grand General?" I snapped as he walked between his line of soldiers.
"Please stay within the camp site, Ju-no-hime-sama. It is for your safety that we do this." He said.
"Withdraw your troops, I am not running away." I snapped.
"Hime-sama, I can not do that."
"Stand down, General."
"Hime-sama, please return to your tent."
"This is an order, General. Do you intend to defy the orders of the royal family?" I said striking a high note. It pained me to use my status to oppress him, but he was unrelenting. It put a bitter taste in my mouth and pushed us further along the path of princess of servant and farther from the path of friends. He would probably come to hate me because of this. I resembled the girl he knew in the forest less and less.
He hesitated for a moment, but he knew that pressing further would be suicide. "If it is the command of the Hime-sama, I can only oblige, but please take a party of soldiers with you." He said.
"No need, you can accompany me, your second job is to act as my personal body guard anyways," I said simply.
He agreed and the soldiers parted. I walked past them and out of the campsite. Ulquiorra alone followed me.
--
Miyu was overjoyed to see us back, although she seemed a little frightened by Ulquiorra's professionalism.
I decided to start by combing the corn field row by row. Miyu began searching beside me and I requested that Ulquiorra start at the other end. He however refused, mumbling something about my safety which I was sick of hearing. Thus we made a small switch so that Ulquiorra searched the cornstalks beside me and Miyu started at the opposite end.
"Hime-sama, you really should not be doing this." Of course, I knew that already. There were so many rules of propriety that I was breaking at the moment that I couldn't bother to count them all.
"I do care about people once in a while." I said wryly. I immediately regretted my words because the atmosphere immediately turned awkward. A stole glances at him, but his face was as stoic as ever and he did not look back at me. After a few minutes, he spoke up again.
"Ju-no-hime-sama, we have already searched for a long while. You should take a break, your skin is not used to these conditions." I rolled my eyes but in a secretive way. What he said was true. I felt the skin on my cheeks burn in the evening sun and wondered how field laborers managed to work this hard throughout the day. Regardless, I didn't like hearing him say it. Again, he was only concerned out of obligation.
"I will stop when we have searched halfway through the field. Even then, we will only take a ten minute break." I said firmly. I knew that extra time would only make my mind wander towards unhappy thoughts; therefore I put all of my effort into scouring and searching.
When we reached the middle, I stopped and sighed since we had not turned out any results. Ulquiorra brought me water and I sat beside the tree to watch Miyu dance around with butterflies instead of do her job. I smiled softyly and leaned against the rough bark of the tree. Ulquiorra stood beside me as a servant should, but it irked me beyond comparison to see him act like that.
"You may sit, General," I said rolling my eyes at how he deliberately was treating me like a princess.
"Thank you, your highness," he responded and sat, though not facing me. The wind was gentle and not loud enough to stir the silence that surrounded us. The silence was oppressive, and immediately my mind wandered to Ulquiorra. I found myself fidgeting in my seat and thought about what Ulquiorra must be thinking at the moment. Finally, right before our ten minutes were up, I finally talked.
"Ulquiorra, I know that you are upset to say the least, but I truly did not intend to hurt you or humiliate you." I paused and stared at his back, though he did not seem to hear me speak. I continued in a low tone. "Before I met you, I never believed that I could ever find someone I could trust to confide in. When I was with you, I was able to be natural. I was afraid that once you found out, we would no longer be able to return to being friends." I whispered almost to myself.
"Hime-sama," I thought I heard him whisper.
I stood up quickly and raised my voice. "Ah, it is time to search again, we have to finish before sundown." I said walking quickly towards the field. My face burned brightly. For a moment, his voice seemed tender and it reminded me of our time in the Magnolia grove. I convinced myself it was the wind and immediately set to work. After a while, I stole a glance at Ulquiorra again. His face was stoic and his gaze was fixed towards the floor. His expression had not changed and that killed some of the hope in my heart. The pangs of guilt in my chest were renewed. Those words indeed must have been wind sprites playing tricks on me.
--
There was a gleam of light that I almost missed because of exhaustion and the dim light of the setting sun, but I miraculously noticed it. The item that had set off the light was no larger than the size of one nail clipping, but it seemed to extend farther down into the ground.
"Ulquiorra, I think I found something," I said, but as I touched the shiny piece of metal, I found that I could not grab it. "But I think it's stuck." I immediately leaned down and began prying the earth apart with my fingers.
"Hime-sama, your hand-"
"I think it's-"
I grabbed the series of gold links that I had dug out and tugged hard on it. I was rewarded when it came free and a larger gold locket popped out of the ground. Upon seeing the entire piece, I knew for sure that this is what Miyu had been searching for.
"I found it!" I shouted excitedly. I momentarily forgot all of troubles. Miyu came bouncing towards me. The moment she caught sight of it, her eyes lit up and she tackled me in a cannonball hug.
"We did it, Asako-nee-san. We really found it!" she shouted as she laughed and cried tears of joy.
"We really did." I said sharing her laughter and excitement.
"Thank you so much," she said as she bounced upright and I pushed myself up. "You can't understand how thankful I am." She said again, though this time, tears were filling her eyes. I stood up as well.
"It was no problem," I responded while patting her head. Suddenly she began bawling into her hands much to my surprise.
"You are so kind, Asako-nee-san, you played with me when no one else did, you protected me from that scary monster, and you even found my locket for me," she sobbed. "I will never forget you," she cried.
I patted her head with a slight smile.
"Don't cry, Miyu-chan. You should be happy." I said holding the locket out to her. She nodded and wiped her tears.
"Thank you, Asako-san for finding it for me, but I want you to keep it to remind you of me."
"I can't do that, this locket is extremely important to you isn't-? Miyu, what's going on?" I said horrified. In the glowing sunset, Miyu seemed to glow or seemed to fade, it was hard to tell which, all the while she had a huge smile on her face though there were tear stains on her face.
"I can't take that with me while I pass on, so I want you to have it. Thank you for taking care of me," she said as she really began to disappear.
"Miyu-chan." I whispered sadly. I could not let myself cry, not at this moment. I had to be happy for her. "Have a safe trip." I said with a small smile. In that moment, she disappeared and I was left standing alone with Ulquiorra. I single black butterfly took her place and flew into the distant red sky.
For a moment, we stood in silence, then I turned around wordlessly to head back to camp.
"Hime-sama," Ulquiorra called suddenly. I stopped and turned to him.
"What is it, General?"
"Excuse my rudeness, but I thought that it might be appropriate for you to clean your hands before we return to camp."
I looked down upon them and suddenly realized that they were indeed the dirtiest hands I had ever had. Dust was caked over my skin and dirt was stuck between my nails, giving them an ugly grey-ish black color. "I agree with you, General, but there is not any water nearby for me to wash them in." I responded. That fact should have been clear to him. He took out a clean cloth and poured some of the drinking water on it.
"If I may," he said smoothly while reaching his hand out for mine. His eyes stunned me for a moment. This was the first time since I had been discovered that he looked me directly in the eye. I broke his gaze and held my hands close to my body.
"I know that this is a lot to ask, Ulquiorra, but please don't treat me like a princess. Don't lower yourself like a servant in front of me. For the sake of the friendship we shared. I want us to remain friends." I turned back to him having gathered my confidence. This time, it was his turn to look away.
"Please do not ask this of me, Ju-no-hime-sama," He replied. I could not respond to him. I couldn't find the right words to say. He turned back to me and he spoke, again reaching his hand out to me.
"If I may, princess."
His stubbornness was a characteristic I had admired in him when we were friends in that magnolia grove, but now it just made me want to kick him.
I lifted my wrist and presented him my hand.
"If you please, General." I said.
"Please forgive my rudeness." He said and clasped my hand with the cloth. His eyes lowered and I no longer stared into those stunning green orbs, but I stared at him as he worked. I'm pretty sure he was aware, especially since there was no were else to look.
He worked his way around my wrist and then traced the lines on the palms of my hand. He softly cleaned the dust from between my fingers and dislodged the dirt from my nails. When he finished, I felt more defeated than ever, but as I walked away, I held my shoulders high and spoke with base-less confidence.
"I admired you, General, and I was proud to have known you as a friend. I truly cherished our friendship. Therefore I do not intend to let it go." With a burning face, I walked away from him and the sunset. When I reached my tent, I held my hands to my rapidly beating chest. What I had said was too expressive for any type of person in the country and I was embarrassed. I noticed then that my hands felt oddly soft and his touch still lingered on them. I clasped them and held them to my heart in prayer.
"Dear gods, please give me confidence and strength to gain his forgiveness and return to our former status."
--
(In the present)
Upon returning to his room, Ulquiorra sat down on his bed and held his head in his hands. His head was now throbbing in pain. He had done the impossible and altered his memory. For someone who remembered every detail of every event, it was incredibly difficult to do something like that. It wasn't much and it wasn't for long, but he was able to successfully hide part of the event from Aizen.
Aizen had not changed his expression at all during his questioning. Aizen had pressed hard and Ulquiorra knew that if he continued to hide his encounter with Asako from him, Aizen would have lost all trust in him. Not only that, Aizen would have extracted the entire event from Ulquiorra anyways, especially since Aizen was as temperamental as a child and always got what he wanted. Ulquiorra knew that he joined the arrancar army of his own will and that it was his own fault that he could not defy Aizen.
Ulquiorra sighed and dropped his head back onto the bed. He felt stripped. Aizen had discovered Asako's existence and that was in no way fortunate for him. Ulquiorra had never intended to let anyone know about Asako and himself. Ulquiorra was lucky though. Despite his migraine head ache, he was able to erase the part he wished to keep concealed the most. He changed his memory so that as soon as she was down for the count, he walked into the garagantua and back to the Hueco Mundo. Ulquiorra was determined not to let Aizen know of their past. He had not let Aizen hear him call her, "hime".
Rolling over with a sigh, Ulquiorra looked down at the wound on his leg that spread instead of healed.
"You are such an idiot." He thought. "If only you didn't leave a scar."
Author's notes: This puts them in quite a pit doesn't it? I imagine that Ulquiorra was a man of duty in the past as he is now. Despite his stubbornness, I still love him as a character. Poor Asako, she just wanted someone she could be at ease with, especially since Suzume just eloped. We'll see how things turn out in the end, won't we. I just realized that my updates are really spontaneous. Sometimes I'll do two in a weekend, and sometimes I'll do two in 3 months. I don't know how it works out. ^^' Thanks for putting up with me though.
-Aisumi
