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Not mine


May 3, 2011

EPOV

"Hey!" Bella says, sliding in to the booth next to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. She smells like coffee and Bella and pine trees. "You're here!"

"I told you I was coming up tonight," I reply, keeping her close to my body even after she breaks the hug. "But before you get too excited, I have to go back after dinner."

"I know, I know. I'm just happy to see you. It has been ten whole days, Edward," she scolds.

"Finals are next week, love," I say, wishing I could spend more time with her. Although being thirty miles away all year has been difficult, it is basically unbearable now that we are back together. Now that we are finally happy. Although her words of love did not magically fix our entire relationship, they go a long way in healing my wounds and convincing me that Bella really isn't running away from us anymore. She is serious about us. "This time of the year is so much worse than it was in undergrad."

"I get it," she says. "I just miss you. That's all."

"I miss you too," I assure her, kissing her quickly. "In another week, I'm all yours."

"Goodie," she says with a smirk, pulling my face towards hers.

It's shocking really, that after all this time the shivers remain unchanged. My need for her and my reaction to her kiss is as strong as ever. It is all consuming, and I pull away before it can become any more intense.

"Honestly, I'm surprised that you are here at all," Bella says after we separate.

"Alice insisted," I explain. She nods in understanding. My sister is very persuasive.

'That's weird," Bella muses. "It was Emmett that demanded I have work off tonight. He said he has a big announcement. He also told me to make sure you knew about it."

"That is weird," I agree. "Alice has an announcement too. And she seems damn excited about it. Plus she told me to tell you. Usually she is more organized than that."

"What the hell do the two of them have planned?" Bella asks. Her brow furrows and I smooth it out with my thumb.

"Probably something terrible that we will want no part of," I reply, thinking about kissing her again. But that is probably unadvisable being as I have to go back to Denver the moment dinner is done. Bella will kill me if I get her all worked up and don't deliver.

"You really aren't spending the night?" she asks with a pout. It's a little creepy that we are so firmly on the same wavelength.

"I have a final review session early tomorrow morning. You could come back with me?" I suggest.

Bella shakes before the words even leave my mouth. "Can't. I am meeting Rufus at nine."

Bella has been tutoring Rufus at the library for the last couple weeks and seems to be really enjoying volunteering. I am happy that she is getting such joy out of doing good in the world, but it certainly complicates our already busy schedules. I hate not living with her. I hate leaving her here in Boulder and I hate watching her leave me in Denver.

"Don't be sad," Bella whispers, kissing me quickly. "One week. Remember?"

Alice and Jasper arrive a moment later, giggling and hanging all over each other, cheeks flushed like they just did it. I don't care if they are married. She is still my sister and that's gross. Also, it made them late and that is just rude.

"Damn, you guys are awfully smiley," observes Bella.

Alice squeaks and babbles incomprehensibly, clapping her hands and being nauseatingly adorable. It is about a million times more Alice than normal. Bella and I both gape at her in concern, but Jasper just smiles lazily.

"Are you okay?" Bella asks, leaning as far away from Alice as possible as if Alice's over the top behavior is something contagious.

Alice nods enthusiastically and lets out some more sounds that don't come even close to actual words.

"We'll explain when Rose and Emmett get here," says Jasper still looking all smug and self satisfied.

Bella and I share puzzled looks. Something is definitely up and apparently Jasper is in on it too. Why are Bella and I the only couple left in the dark?

Ah, couple. I like that word.

We order a round of drinks but Alice's gets an Arnold Palmer. This is highly suspect, and I think I've figured out what's going on.

But then Em and Rose arrive and I get confused all over again.

"Good," Emmett says, dragging Rose behind him and sitting down quickly. "You're all here. I don't think I could wait another fucking second for my announcement."

"Our announcement, Emmett," Rose says with a scary big smile. "It's our announcement."

"Wait," Bella says, looking back and forth between the two couples. "I'm confused."

"I didn't realize you were so slow," says Rosalie dryly. "We have an announcement." Rosalie enunciates the vowels and uses exaggerated hand gestures. Bella just rolls her eyes.

"No," I put it. "I am confused too. The four of you have an announcement?"

"What?" asks Emmett. "This has nothing to do with those two."

"I can't believe you have an announcement too," Jazz sputters. "Don't you go stealing our thunder. This is our special announcement dinner."

"What? This is our special announcement dinner," Emmett snaps back, glaring.

"What the crap is going on?" Bella whispers in my ear.

"Dunno," I reply, watching the two other couples argue about whose announcement dinner this really is. "The crazies are out in full force today apparently."

"Your announcement can't be nearly as good as our announcement," Alice yells, poking a finger into Emmett's shoulder. Things are getting violent, and I should probably step in at some point.

"There is nothing that could fucking top our fucking announcement," counters Emmett.

"It doesn't even matter. This is our announcement dinner so you can just shut the fuck up!" yells Alice.

"Oh, don't even go there you demon pixie!" Em yells right back. "I organized this shit."

"Hell the fuck no you didn't!" says Alice. Bella and mine heads bounce back and forth between my siblings, making me feel like I'm watching tennis. "I did. Isn't that right, Edward?"

"Well, you did call me," I agree. "But Emmett told Bella."

"Didn't Jasper talk to you Emmett?" Alice says, ignoring me completely.

"Totally did, darlin'," says Jazz, looking pretty amused by the situation. "Remember, Em? The other day when I was like we should go to dinner Thursday and you were like, yeah I was already planning on it. I'm glad you already know about it."

"I think we may have been talking about the same dinner while not talking about the same dinner," muses Em.

Alice looks like she is about to explode so I step in. "There has obviously been a mix up, but I think we just need to take a moment to appreciate that it has been months without news and now we have two bits of dinner worthy news so that's got to be a good thing, right?"

Everyone but Bella glares at me.

"Yeah, the two of you getting back together was definitely not dinner worthy," says Rose. I want to reply but Bella cuts me off.

"Okay, you are all fucking ridiculous," she says. "Just make the announcements already. The suspense is killing me."

"I want to go first," says Alice.

"Not fair!" yells Emmett. "I want to go first."

Lordy, they are children.

"I called it." I am a little surprised that Alice doesn't stick her tongue out at Emmett.

"Fine. My news is better so it deserves an intro," says Emmett with a smirk, leaning back in his seat. Alice looks livid and turns red.

"Our news, Emmett. Our fucking news," says Rosalie. She really doesn't sound as bitchy as she normally does. Which is weird.

"I changed my mind and demand to go second," Alice says primly.

"You are such a little spoiled brat!" yells Emmett, completely losing it. "I am going second."

"We, Emmett," says Rose.

"I want to go second!" Alice declares.

"Aw, fuck no—" Emmett starts, only to be interrupted by Jasper.

"We're pregnant," Jasper finally says.

"We're getting married," Rosalie finally says.

There is silence for a moment before complete pandemonium ensues. Everyone starts yelling and congratulating at the same time. Hugs and tears and handshakes are exchanged. Rose and Alice cry. Smiles pretty much explode off the faces of everyone seated at the table. It takes a full fifteen minutes and a request from the waiter to calm us down. But he brings us a round on the house when we explain the situation.

"Holy fuck nuts," murmurs Bella eloquently. "Everyone is so grown up. You guys gettin' hitched. You guys havin' a wee one. Just… damn."

"I know right!" says Alice.

"You are going to be such a good mom," says Rosalie wistfully.

"You are going to be such a beautiful bride," replies Alice.

"You better not get too crazy with pregnancy hormones to help me plan my wedding," continues Rosalie.

Alice squeaks with the realization that she once again gets to go all crazy wedding planner on us. Lord, the pair of them are going to be unbearable for the next few months.

"Oh my god," Alice says, eyes glowing in a way that thoroughly alarms everyone else at the table. "There are so many things to plan. Baby shower. Bridal shower. Bachelorette party. Wedding. And a nursery to decorate. And names to pick out. And—"

Jasper cuts her off with a lazy kiss.

"Thanks," she says when her husband pulls away. "Kinda lost it there for a minute. Oh, and by the way. We're kicking you all out."

"What?" Bella asks.

"You have seven months to find a new place to live," Alice replies. "The sooner the better because I gots to get to decorating."

Bella glances at me, blushing when I smile at her. Already I am scheming on ways to insure that she ends up in my apartment. I make a mental note to ask Ben the next time I see him. "Okay," Bella says.

After dinner and a few too many drinks, Bella walks me to the bus stop. I kiss her neck and lean on her shoulder heavily.

"You are drunk, Edward Cullen," she says, giggling as we stumble in the general direction of the depot.

"And you smell nice," I reply. "Quite the night, huh?"

"Yup," she replies, sighing wistfully. "'Bout time on both fronts I say."

"Does it make you… sad?" I ask as we finally get to the depot and sit on a bench to wait for the B line.

"Kinda," she murmurs in reply, closing her eyes and laying her head on my shoulder as I wrap my arms protectively around her. "But mostly I'm just jealous. I want that for us."

"You do?" I ask, still surprised that she is so willing to admit this to me. Maybe one day I will get used to her openly wanting a future with me, but I doubt it. "Should I propose? 'Cause I could."

Bella blushes and giggles into my neck, pretty much completely losing composure. "No. Definitely not. You're in med school and I'm trying to figure out what to do next career wise and we don't live in the same city and we've only been back together for like ten seconds. We aren't there yet, baby."

"And a baby?" I whisper into her hair, holding her tighter.

Bella is quiet for a long time before answering. "Not quiet there yet either," she replies, kissing my neck and making me shiver.

"Someday?" I ask, hopeful.

"Someday," she confirms.

We sit in silence, just absorbing as much of each other as we can until my bus comes and takes me away.

"How are you going to get home!" I yell suddenly, disrupting the peace and making a half asleep Bella jerk in my arms.

"What?" she asks, her voice slurring with sleep and alcohol.

"When the bus comes, you are going to be here all alone," I continue, babbling a bit. "I don't want you to walk home alone what with the hooligans and the hoodlums and the generally bad guys prowling around the streets this late at night."

"It's like seven blocks. And it's only like nine o'clock. And where the hell do you think we live? Fucking Compton?" she asks, rolling her eyes at my over protectiveness.

"I still don't like it. You're going to have to come to Denver with me. It's the only solution. You can be back in Boulder by nine tomorrow morning, easy," I say, getting a little desperate at the prospect of our coming separation. I get nauseous when a bus turns into the depot.

"What time is your study group tomorrow?" she asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Six-thirty," I say with a grin, kissing her temple because I know she'll cave.

"Okay," she says, pulling me up from the bench and towards the bus as she rummages through her bag for her bus pass.

"Okay," I reply, grinning like the crazy in love fool I am.

May 11, 2011

BPOV

"I am assuming this goes in the to charity pile. Can you even give this to Goodwill? What a thing to get a tax deduction for." Edward, sitting cross-legged on the floor among piles of crap, holds up the object in question for my inspection.

"We are not donating my favorite bong to charity," I reply with a grin from my seat on the bed where I am folding and boxing clothes. The closet is now completely devoid of occupants, and I am amazed that Edward left so much shit behind when he moved to Denver two years ago.

There have been many trips down memory lane as we unearth objects from our past. It's nice, focusing on the good times and the laughter for once instead of the shit I pulled.

"I'm sure it has been done before," he continues, running his fingers over the smooth glass and holding the bong up to the sunlight to give it a more through examination. The colors are reflected on his cheeks. "This is Boulder."

"No," I say, shaking my head and chuckling at him.

"Well, what do you want to do with it?" he asks. "Surely it is not worthy of making the move, nor do I think Alice and Jasper really want it left in their nursery."

"But it's so pretty," I say, abandoning my folding and shuffling to the end of the bed to get closer to Edward.

"You're so pretty," he counters, flashing that crooked smile. "Actually, that is blasphemy. You're so beautiful."

I blush like a motherfucker. "Aw shucks," I mutter as he brushes a quick kiss across my lips. We both know if he deepens the kiss we will never get all this packing done. We have been distracted three times already today and it's not even noon.

Between the reminiscing and the sexing I might never move in with him. And I really want to move in with him.

Some may say we are moving too fast, but we've waited for fucking ever for the happily ever after.

"But seriously," he says, clearing his throat as he pulls away. "Which pile?"

"I am serious. I like the colors." My fingers trace the bright swirls of blue, yellow, purple, and green. "Can't we use it as a vase or something?"

Edward simply raises an eyebrow at me.

"Fine," I say with a huff. "I'll give it to Jake. It wouldn't go with the décor of your apartment anyway."

"Our apartment," he corrects before continuing his sorting.

My insides do a little dance of joy at the term. "Maybe I'll give the bong to Ben as a thanks for taking me in."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate that," he says with a snort.

"I love you," I murmur, running my hand through his hair. He closes his eyes and hums in pleasure before turning to scowl at me.

"Don't you start with that again," he lectures. "You keep talking like that and we are never going to get you moved to out of here."

He is absolutely right. We are making very little progress, but he looks so damn fuckable with his glasses and gym shorts and bare feet. Plus he is all mine. Mine, mine, mine.

Aw, fuck it.

I yank his head towards mine, attacking his mouth, and it's a while before we get back to the packing.

May 19, 2011

I wake up obscenely early for someone who spent the majority of the christening our bedroom. It's not like we haven't done it in here before, but then it was just Edward's bedroom and now it's ours. The two of us, the both of us, together.

I figured out a while ago that home for me is where ever Edward is, but it is nice to finally live with him officially. Inhabiting the same space is not foreign to us. For the better part of three years we basically lived together, but I was too fucking messed up to recognize that. Then, I thought home was a lost concept. But it was here with Edward all along.

Again, I'm so fucking thankful that I didn't lose him permanently.

I lift my head from Edward's naked chest, propping myself up on a elbow to get a good look at him. I place feather light kisses on each of his eyelids, being careful not to wake him. Part of me wishes his eyes would blink open, but I know he is working late at the hospital tonight, and he needs his sleep after the night we had.

Actually, it's more like the week we've had.

Edward asked me to move in with him the morning after our friend's big wedding and baby announcements. He finished with finals a week later and it took us another week after that to get all of our crap to Denver or Goodwill. He would blame me for the constant sex breaks, but I blame him for being so damn fuckable and mine.

Now I admire the way the morning sun makes his hair shine. I push my hand though it and he lets out a sigh in his sleep, his arms tightening around me. I give myself five minutes to enjoy his proximity before the temptation to rouse him from sleep becomes too much.

Pulling on his discarded t-shirt and a pair of purple leggings, I quietly exit the bedroom. I mean our bedroom.

I like term "our".

Coffee is brewing and Angela is sitting at the kitchen table when I emerge. I kiss her cheek before moving to pour myself a cup.

"Morning," she says without glancing up from the paper spread out before her.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask, sitting across from her and stealing the Arts and Leisure section. Normally Ange is out of here by seven on the dot and it is now closer to eight.

"Teachers get summer vacations too, remember?" she says with a grin.

"Ah yes. In that case why the fuck are you up so early?" I demand, smiling when my old friend lets out a chuckle.

"The kids may be gone but I still have to go in for the rest of the week and close out everything for the summer. Which means I don't have to be there at the ass crack of dawn," Angela explains. She folds up her section of the paper and leans back in her seat, smirking at me now. "And I should be asking you why the fuck you are up so early, after the night you had."

I blush and gape at her. "You heard all that! I'm so sorry, Ange. I thought we were being quite. This has never happened before and it won't again. I'm so—"

"I'm just fucking with you," she interrupts, still grinning. She certainly curses a lot for someone who hangs out with kindergarteners for a living. "We can't hear anything from our room, but when I went to the bathroom at like three in the morning I got quite the show. For a minute I thought I was having some sort of bizarre dream."

I am suddenly very thankful for the lay out of this spacious apartment. A shared bathroom separates the two bedrooms and apparently creates some sort of noise barrier. Still, I'm embarrassed. It's damn cool of Ben to let me move in to his apartment and I want to be the best roomie possible. I don't want him to regret his decision.

"It was no dream," I say, recovering slightly. "And if it was I never want to wake up."

Angela giggles before moving to pour herself another cup of coffee. I'll have to brew more so there is a fresh pot for Edward when he gets up.

"So what are you doing today?" she asks, rejoining me at the table. "Do you work?"

"Nope," I say, glad that I don't have to commute to Boulder today. I'm still working at the Goat till I can find something closer to home. "I actually have an interview with this electronic newspaper this afternoon and then I'm tutoring this evening. It's going to be a lazy morning."

"You should meet me for lunch," Angela says a little to casually.

"Alright," I reply. "Just you?"

"Well, no," she replies, looking guilty now. "I'm actually meeting Tia."

"Tia, Tia?" I ask, shocked. "Edward's Tia?"

I can't believe that phrase just left my mouth, and I grimace, offended by my own wording. Angela looks at me with a combination of sympathy and amusement, as if she knows just what I'm thinking.

"She's my friend," Angela continues as if I didn't just say something horrible. "And she is actually a pretty cool girl."

"I don't know…"

"She is going to be around from now on," Angela continues, her voice getting all schoolmarmish as she scolds me. "You might want to try and get along with her. For Edward's sake. It would make things easier on all of us if you and Tia found something to bond about."

"What? Like how we are both in love with my boyfriend?" I snap.

"Yeah, that's a good place to start," Angela replies, nodding sagely. I glare at her and she giggles at my expression. "I think Tia is over that now. It has been months since you came back and she found out about you. Give the girl a little credit."

"Fine," I reply with a huff. "I'll go to your fucking lunch."

I'm reading a book on the balcony in the sun when Edward finally gets up. He stumbles through the sliding glass door, yawning and rubbing his bleary eyes as he collapses at the foot of my lounge chair. I smile and open my legs, allowing him to lean back against my chest. I discard my book and wrap my arms around his shoulders.

"Morning, sweetheart," I murmur in his ear. He lets out a groan and turns slightly to wrap his arms around my waist. I hold back a giggle because he is always so grumpy when he wakes up. My man is so not a morning person. "I just made a fresh pot of coffee."

He nods against my shoulder but doesn't open his eyes.

"Do you want me to get you some?" I offer, already moving to get up but Edward's arms tighten around me.

"Later," he mutters. Tenderness and love bloom in my chest as I run my fingers through his hair and smile down at him with affection. Little things like this truly make me see how much he loves me. I'm better than coffee to wake up to.

We sit in silence. If I didn't know better I would think that Edward had fallen back asleep, but he just takes awhile to wake up. The morning is still cool, but that is sure to change as the suns get higher in the sky. I look over the bustle of the city to the blue mountains in the distance. They seem so far away, but I find their presence soothing anyway. After being a drift for so long I feel grounded again.

"I like waking up to you," Edward says after sometime. "Even if you weren't in our bed, you weren't far."

"You have no idea how hard it was to not wake you up this morning," I reply, brushing a brief kiss over his eyelids.

"I wouldn't have minded," he claims, causing me to snort a little.

"It was seven fucking thirty," I say. "You would've killed me."

After grinning up at me for a moment, Edward tugs my (his) shirt up to expose a tit. He leans over at places a kiss on my hardening nipple. "I wouldn't have minded if you made it worth my while," he whispers, actually waggling his eyebrows at me.

"Edward!" I shriek, pulling my shirt down. Except somehow his head ends up under the baggy fabric and he continues to torment my chest with hands, tongue, teeth, and lips. "We are outside! In the broad daylight."

"Don't care," he mumbles against my skin.

"What about your neighbors?" I demand. Edward shifts so his weight is directly on top of me.

"Working." We have a little tussle as Edward attempts to get me – and half of him – out of the loose shirt I wear. I don't put up much resistance, especially after he grinds the hard wonder cock into me. My eyes flutter closed and my breathing picks up as I forget why I'm fighting this at all. Somehow my shirt disappears.

Edward's movements become a whole lot less frantic after I start responding. He kisses me languidly, tilting my head for better access with his large hand along my jaw. Our hips lock in to a steady rolling motion as we continue to kiss. Right on this fifth floor balcony for the whole world to see. We are both panting when Edward pulls away, looking down at me with bright eyes as his chest heaves.

"You are so beautiful," he murmurs, dragging one hand down the length of my body, from my neck to my bare chest and stomach. His hand trails a line of heat even as it travels down my legging clad thigh before it tightens around my calf to hitch my leg around his waist.

I've gotten slightly better at accepting compliments, but I blush anyway, right down to my chest. Edward smiles as if this was his intention when he spoke. Which is probably true. My man is such a schemer.

I lock my ankles behind his back, pulling him closer, when a car horn blares below us and forces us to remember where we are. And although it is fucking doubtful anyone can see us from the street, there is an office building made of windows across from us.

Edward lets out a frustrated huff before standing and pulling me with him. He tosses me over his shoulder, fucking cave man style. I squeak in surprise as he basically runs inside, not even bothering to close the sliding glass door behind us.

I giggle at his desperation as I push at the waistband of his boxes. They fall down to his calves and he steps out of them without even tripping. I give his glorious ass a little smack, and I get a little cross-eyed as I try to take him in upside down.

I expect Edward to turn towards our bedroom but instead I find myself dropped unceremoniously on our small kitchen table instead.

"Edward," I breathlessly admonish. "This is the table. We eat things here."

"Exactly," he says with that crooked grin that never fails to absolutely melt me before pulling my tights clean off my body. His mouth is between my legs before I even have a moment to really understand what is happening.

It doesn't take me long to get it though.

Thankfully, he doesn't dally. He gets right down to business, and I pull him up by his hair when I'm on the brink. It's all too much, and I want him inside me when I come. Edward, understanding what I need as usual, kisses me hard and quick before abruptly flipping me over onto my stomach and pushing into me with one, quick thrust.

We both gasp at the sensation. I feel him so deeply within me it makes me a little dizzy. Edward pauses for a moment, giving us both a moment to adjust, before tilting my hips and pounding into me, slow and steady.

I'm hot, my skin slick and burning. Edward moves between my legs and touches my hips, but I feel him everywhere, both in my body and soul. As much as I love the depth and sensation this position provides, I want more contact. I want to see him.

As if he can read my mind, Edward leans forward, pressing his slick chest to my back. One of his hands moves my hair to the side to kiss the sensitive skin behind my ear while the other reaches around to where to are joined.

I actually whimper at the sensation, reaching back to hold the hair at the back of his neck, and his pace becomes more frantic.

"You feel so good," he groans in my ear, his breath against my skin. "Come fore me, Isabella."

And then I do, shattering completely around him with his name on my lips. He follows moments later, babbling incomprehensibly and collapsing forward. Except our balance on the tabletop is precarious and he slides to the floor, bring me with him. I end up on top of him, my head rising and falling with his chest as we both come down from our high and our breathing settles. I like to feel the weight of him after, but this is pleasant too. The air of the fan cools my damp skin, and I snuggle even closer to Edward as he plays with my hair.

"Welcome home, love," he says. I feel his sentiment all the way down to my bones.

It is very reluctantly I leave Edward at home to meet Angela and Tia for lunch. We go to a little Thai place just off the 16th Street Mall. It's not too far from Edward's apartment – I mean our apartment – and I enjoy the walk even if the day is hot. I wear a little black halter and even smaller black shorts. I'll have to change before my interview and I dread putting on business casual attire.

Almost as much as I dread this fucking lunch. Stupid, fucking, persuasive Angela.

Edward didn't say much when I told him about my plans. He just looked at me for a long time like he was trying to see into my brain, kissed me soundly, and told me to behave myself.

I told him I always behave myself and he had the gall to laugh.

When I get to the restaurant I spot Tia sitting alone in a booth, reading something. Angela is late. I left the apartment later than I should have just to avoid this situation, and I have a suspicion that Angela planned it this way.

Cursing my friend violently in my head, I trudge over to Tia and slide into the booth across from her. She jumps and looks at me with wide-eyed shock.

"Sup," I say with a head nod.

"Hello," she says with caution. "What are you doing here?"

Shit. Fucking Angela didn't even give the girl a heads up.

"Angela invited me," I reply, trying not to scowl at Edward's friend. This situation is not her fault and I try to reserve my anger for Angela. "Didn't she let you know?"

"No," Tia says primly, neatly tucking her reading material into her book bag. "She failed to mention anyone would be joining us. Where is she anyway?"

"Fuck if I know," I mutter.

We lapse into uncomfortable silence, and I fiddle with my sunglasses as I attempt to figure out how to alleviate the awkward.

"This is ridiculous," Tia says with a huff.

"Yeah," I agree. "I hate it when people are late."

"Well, yes that too. But I meant this is ridiculous." She gestures between the two of us. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Her abruptness startles me almost as much as the question itself. I've always seen Tia as a shy, weak little thing and I find myself begrudgingly respecting her backbone.

"I don't hate you," I mutter, feeling uncomfortable. "Why do you hate me?"

Tia lets out a big sigh and her shoulders drop. The slight hunch in her typically perfect posture makes her seem more human to me.

"I don't hate you either," she replies. I raise an eyebrow in skepticism. "What? If you can lie, so can I."

I let out a sharp little chuckle at that and can't help but smile. "Fair enough," I say. "But I wasn't totally lying. I don't hate you. I just find it difficult to be cordial to a lady so totally against my relationship with the love of my life. Plus, you like him too much, yah know?"

"Well, that makes sense," she responds, looking thoughtful. "But I don't like him too much anymore. Actually, I don't think I ever really did."

"What do you mean?" I ask, completely confused now.

Again, Tia lets out a heavy sigh. "You were right," she begrudgingly admits.

"I was?" I ask, completely shocked by this statement. "About what?"

"I didn't really know him," she says, looking sad. "Not really. I still don't. I see now that he never let me get close enough for that. He is smart and a good listener and I mistook that all for love."

I nod, a little dazed that we are actually having this conversation.

"He is my friend," she continues. "There is no one I would rather study with and I enjoy spending time with him, but I don't feel that way anymore. It's amazing how different he is now that you are back."

Again, there is more head nodding on my part because I really don't know what to say.

"He is a whole new person," Tia muses. "I didn't get how miserable he was until I saw how happy he is now. How could I hate the person that makes my friend so happy?"

"You mean me?" I squeak, feeling like a moron.

"Yes," Tia says as if she would rather admit anything else. "I would never even think to talk to someone like you if I met you under different circumstances."

"Like wise," I mumble.

"I find you very intimidating," she confesses, looking about as uncomfortable as I feel.

"No shit?" I say, genuinely surprised. "I find you fucking intimidating what with your big brain and perfect face and all that."

"Really?" Tia asks, sounding pleased with herself. She touches her face self consciously. "How odd."

And then I laugh, a lot and loudly because the whole damn thing is so ridiculous. Tia actually joins me, even thought I am not totally sure what is so funny. All I know is that it is. Of course this is the moment that Angela finally appears. The people who try to control my life certainly do a damn good job of it.

"Well, I'm glad to see you two getting along," Angela says, sitting next to Tia. "Sorry I'm late."

"Yeah, like you didn't fucking plan it." Angela doesn't even bother trying to look innocent or deny my claim and just flashes this evil little smile. "I'm fucking starving."

Conversation flows easily after we order, and I don't think I'll ever be best friends with the girl, at least I know now that I'm capable of getting along with the people in Edward's life.

May 20, 2011

"I can't believe you talked me into this," I mutter from behind my sunglasses as I allow Rosalie to drag into a poufy little café. The place is decorated in pastels. I hate pastels. This is probably where the Easter Bunny comes to die.

"Stop your bitching," she replies as the hostess – dressed in a light pink button up – leads us to our table in the corner. "I need to get as much help out of you before you up and leave again."

"Rose," I growl, slamming my glasses on to the top of my head. "I don't do that anymore."

"I know," Rose replies with an evil grin. "Is it too soon to joke about it?"

I just roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.

"Why you got to be so cranky, gurl?" Rosalie asks.

"Why do I have to be here at all, bitch?" I counter, causing Rose to laugh.

"Because my mom is out of town and Alice is teaching little kids how to sculpt clay pots and I need all the help I can get from you now that the wedding is happening so soon and you are moving."

Rosalie, finally confessing a terrible girly secret, apparently has always wanted to get married in this beautiful old church downtown. When she called to set this up the day after Emmett purposed she was told they had a cancellation for this August but other than that they are booked for the next two years.

Which is fucking absurd but what Rose wants Rose gets.

It was pretty fucking funny to see the look on Emmett's face when he was informed that he would be getting hitched in less then three months, but it also means that the impossible task of planning this monstrosity of a wedding has been delegated to everyone in Rose's life. Which really fucking sucks.

"I already fucking moved," I remind her, grinning when I think about how great it is to fall asleep in Edward's arms every night.

"Then why are you here so much?" she asks.

"Because I haven't found a job closer to Denver yet," I remind her. "I'm still working at the Goat." Commuting sucks and I still spend the night at the Goss house occasionally, but it's better than living in Boulder without Edward.

"Another coffee shop?"

"Well, hopefully not," I say. "I have a couple interviews set up with small online newspapers. I had one yesterday and it went pretty well. I got a second interview with them."

"What would you do?"

"Write," I reply. "Anything they want me to. It will be like reviews and fluff pieces and shit. If I'm lucky I'll end up with my own column."

"Does this sort of thing pay well?"

"Hell no," I scoff. "But I don't need much. Rent is pretty cheap now that we are splitting it three ways. Plus Tyler has three roommates now, so I have a pretty steady monthly income from Charlie's house. I'll do fine."

"Wow, look at you. Doing what you love. Being with who you love. Who'd have thought it?" Rosalie says with an amused chuckle.

"And look at you," I reply. "Planning your goddamn dream wedding. Who'd have thought you, little miss I will never get married, ever even had a dream wedding cookin' in her noggin'."

"We're planning my dream wedding," Rose corrects with a smirk. I grimace at her when another pastel covered creature sits at our table and starts tittering out an apology for being late. She says fabulous three times and calls Rose "darling" twice by the time she is done, and I can't help but stare at her in all her big haired, perfumed, pasteled glory.

"We just got here, darling. Do not worry," says Rosalie, using that smile and voice she usually reserves for her mother and the country club set. Fuck, this is going to be a long couple of months. What is with the continual use of the term darling? "Bella, this is my wedding planner, Wendy Amhurst."

Wendy turns to study my for the first time and raises an eyebrow at me when she takes in my disheveled, distinctly not country club look. Clothed in a off white Henley pilfered from Edward that I've tied at the waist and a ridiculous short pair of jean shorts, I probably offend her pastel suit wearing sensibilities. I'm probably showing a bit more mid drift than is socially acceptable for such a meeting. Oh well.

"Sup," I say with a head nod.

"Wendy, this is my maid of honor, Isabella Swan," Rose continues. I just roll my eyes at this. Rose is attempting to get Alice and I to fight it out for the coveted roll. Who ever does the best and most wins. This wedding crap must have altered Rosie's brain, because there is no way I am fighting for something I don't really want anyway. She knows me better than this.

Although, Alice gets this scary look in her eye and goes planning crazy when Rose mentions the little contest. So maybe it is solely to manipulate Alice.

"Charmed," says Wendy, her voice sugar coated and giving me a damn toothache. "Now, is that the Longmont Swans?"

Where the fuck does this lady think we are from? The Upper West Side or some shit? Boulder isn't exactly a high society type place.

"Um, no. It's the Fork's Swans actually," I reply, trying not to chuckle. "And please, call me Bella."

"Great," she says. "Let's order and get down to business, shall we?"

The lunch really isn't that bad at first. Mostly I just drink mimosas and eat over priced eggs while the woman talk wedding. The huge binder Rosalie pulls out of her bag freaks me out slightly, and we talk about everything. Well, they talk about everything. And then it is time to figure out my responsibilities as a potential maid of honor.

"What about selecting the wedding invitations?" suggest Wendy to Rosalie because apparently I don't even have a say in this.

"No," replies Rose so quickly it is almost offensive. "Alice is already taking care of that. She is the artist in the family."

Okay, that makes sense and I won't take it personally.

"Well, will you take Bella dress shopping?"

"Maybe," says Rose. "But you see how she's dressed. I'm going to need the opinion of Alice. All I want Bella to do is shut up and wear whatever dress I tell her to wear. I mean, she obviously can't be trusted with her own outfit."

They have a good laugh over this, and I scowl at the pair of them.

"The seating arrangement?"

"Oh no," says Rose, still giggling. "Bella will just slap a bunch of randoms together with no thought what so ever."

There are several more things suggested that I am apparently not qualified to organize until Wendy mentions the bachelorette party.

"I don't know…" says Rose and I finally have had enough.

"Oh come on!" I snap. Both Rose and Wendy jump a little as if they forgot I'm even here. "Who the fuck else is better suited to plan your bachelorette party! Hello! I am the party queen."

"You were the party queen," Rose corrects. "Now that you are back with Edward and all domestic, you are kinda lame. The two of you rarely come when we go out to the bars these days. You are such a home body."

I sputter a bit in disbelief.

Eventually, it is decided that I can plan the fucking bachelorette party. Other than that, Rose has pretty much made me Alice's bitch, which I'm really looking forward to.

"Now," continues Wendy. "We really need to finalize the guest list and invitation decisions by the end of the week because the wedding is ridiculously soon."

"I'm already ahead of you," Rose says, flipping to a page in her binder and handing it to Wendy. "This list is pretty much final."

Wendy nods in appreciation, and I steal the list from her. My eyes bulge out of my head slightly when I take in the insane number of names on the page, at least two hundred. Most people I don't recognize, some names make me smile, yet one I find extremely irritating.

"Victoria?" I ask, interrupting what ever the two are babbling about now. "You are inviting Victoria?"

"Bella," Rose says, narrowing her eyes at me. "Victoria is one of my oldest and truest friends."

"Bullshit," I reply. They haven't been close since junior year of college when Vicky tried to give Emmett a lap dance in front of everyone. Fuckin' funny as shit, but slightly friendship ruining.

"Okay, fine," Rose says, looking guilty now. "She is a cosmologist now and she agreed to do my hair and make up for free if I invited her."

"Are you paying for any of this wedding?" I ask.

"Well, some of it. Bella, she is really, really good at what she does." Rose seems to plead with me.

"Fine, as long as her plus one is acceptable," I reply.

I'm exhausted after lunch, but have to work a whole fucking shift before I can finally go home. To Edward. When I get back to Denver its after nine and it's been a long fucking day. I basically throw open the door to the apartment.

"Honey, I'm home," I declare loudly. But when I enter I am met with only a bemused looking Ben, blinking at me from the couch.

"Watch who you're calling honey!" an irate female voice calls from the kitchen. Grinning, I close the door behind me and flop onto the couch next to Ben.

"Did Angela cook dinner?" I whisper. I try to get a look in the kitchen for a peak at my old friend. Whenever she is over this late she usually cooks dinner, complete with copious amounts of leftovers. For two smart, med school students, neither Ben nor Edward can figure out how to work a toaster so Ange and I try to keep the fridge stocked. Ben nods and rubs his belly as Angela appears with a plate of food. I don't know how she does it. She is probably magic.

"Thanks," I reply. "You know you are my one and only, right, honey?"

She just rolls her eyes at me. "Edward's in the bedroom."

I thank her again for dinner before joining my man in our room and taking my food with me. I've already inhaled half the plate of lasagna by the time I kick open the door.

Edward glances up from his book and grins when I enter. His long frame is laid out on the bed, propped up against the headboard. He wears only his glasses and a pair of boxers to combat the heat of summer, and I take a minute to just look at him and revel in the knowledge that he's mine.

"Hey," he says, smiling crookedly as he sets the book down in his lap.

"Hi," I say, a little breathless. I find my throat suddenly clogged with emotion. This still happens on occasion. It hits me sometimes, how close I was to losing him and how unbelievably thankful I am that he is here now.

"Long day?" he asks, running his hands through his hair and stretching slightly.

Nodding, I sit by his feet and finish my meal.

"Damn, you look good in my shirt," he observes as I take the last couple bites and put my now clean plate on his desk.

I unbutton my shorts and pull them down my hips before stepping out of them and crawling onto my side of the bed. Edward immediately wraps me up in his arms as I lay my head on his chest. I close my eyes, dozing slightly as Edward slips a hand beneath my panties and goes back to his book.

"What're you reading?" I ask when I conjure the energy to work my mouth.

"The Gone Away World," he replies softly, his hand now moving to stroke my lower back. "Nick Harkaway."

"Never heard of it," I say, plucking the book out of his hand and reading the back. "Did you just start it?"

"Yup. It is very bizarre and ignores many scientific laws, but I like it. It sounds like you. The way it's written."

"Well, I'll just have to read it when you're done. Hurry up, will you?"

"Alright, love," he says with a chuckle and a kiss to my temple. I hand the book back to him and he places it on the bedside table. I like the way he keeps me in his arms as he moves rather than letting go. I do have abandonment issues, after all. "How is Rose?"

"Insane. As is Wendy the wedding planner. Apparently I can't be trusted with anything except the bachelorette party. And Rose was even wary about that," I say, closing my eyes again as Edward's hand traces the planes of my back.

"Do you really want more wedding responsibility?" he asks.

"Hell no," I reply. "But it would be nice to know that Rose trusts me to do it. Instead she made me Alice's bitch."

"I'm so sorry, love," Edward says. I can feel the rumble of a chuckle in his chest, as hard as he is trying to hide it. "That is sure to be a torturous position to be in. Alice in pregnant, wedding planning mode."

"I can handle it," I say.

"That you can. You're sure doing a lot for a woman you recently called a "fire breathing slag conceived in the depths of hell,'" Edward muses. I still don't think he has totally forgiven Rose for keeping my secret for two years of the way she shared it. But he hasn't totally forgive me either I don't think.

"Yeah, you know that's all bullshit," I admit with a sigh. "I really do love that slag."

"You two have such a bizarre relationship," he says.

"Yeah well. It works for us. Although we are fucking eloping when we get married. No wedding is worth all this shit."

"I like that you said when instead of if," he murmurs into my hair, causing me to blush scarlet. Although I am getting better, intense moments of verbalized commitment still freak me out slightly. I am committed to him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But right now thoughts of the future are too much and I feel the need to change the subject.

"How was your day?" I ask

It feels good for things to be so normal for us. Here we are, cuddling and talking about our days.

"Uneventful," he replies. "It was the usual at the hospital. Nothing to report. I missed you though."

"You just saw me this morning," I say with a giggle.

"I want to be with you always."

"Me too," I reply with a blush and a grin.


Questions? Comments? Concerns?