This one isn't quite as funny as previous blogs, so be prepared for that ;) Interlude Four out later today... hopefully

Blog Five: A Right Pickle

Hello my loyal readers once more – and what a blog I have for you today. It is full of the usual psychotic madmen, annoying celebrities and gigantic robots, but I decided to have an extra painful week and sprinkled in some dead Pokemon, a new friend and Pokemon and several just swell injuries to the mix :D

Things went downhill when a giant Onix nearly killed me. I'm sure you're all thinking Butthat'sjustanormaldayinthedaytodaylifeofAlaska and it unfortunately is beginning to seem that way. I was saved from the Onix by my lovely friend Sandy Samson, who may have helped me out this time, but got me into the two of the biggest things I've had to deal with so far.

Sandy saw some Clefairy, and she thought it would be fun to chase them up a large tunnel to nowhere, and of course I had to follow along. It was quite a long and very nerve wracking walk that didn't help when your body is bleeding, but I carried on and than we got to this part of the mountain that had a large moon stone in a crater that would look much better in my bedroom or broken down into a lovely piece of jewellery, but I would not do that to the poor Clefairy who live there.

Pity the same can't be said for everyone.

The reality stars were there, and were planning on using the Clefairy and their stone for a part of their demented little game. I am sure you have all realised how much I despise these people, but I think I will clarify for good measure: I hope stalactites land on their skulls and reach down into their hearts, and than cannibals find them and cook them alongside brussel sprouts and oven fries. So yes, I hate them all so very very much, and I do hope that their bitch of a producer and that slut Chloe get what's coming to them (The whole town knows that Chloe's got Onix's digging around your caves, pardon my innuendo – though we've all seen the guys getting in through HER window, Ooooh!)

The Clefairy were not doing anything wrong until the reality stars disturbed them, telling their stars to chip off bits of the stone. When they tried to do this, than the Clefairy, who had been as sweet and happy as dancing candy floss, turned nasty and become EEEEVIIIIIL! They began using Metronome and tried to kill us, one of them knocking me, Paige and Darwin off the side, and if it wasn't for Darwin's Mankeyness, we would have died. We returned to the top and proceeded to run away with Sandy, as that seemed smart, only to find more Clefairy down the tunnel who were happy to waggle their fingers like there was no tomorrow.

I was getting pretty peeved off at this point, let me tell you, and I was quite tempted to just give up and go away, but than I saw a shining orange light: a Paras! I can imagine some of you cringing a bit at the thought of a Paras: they are not pretty, they smell funny, they have too many weaknesses, they don't match my handbag. Well, I don't care. I love Paras so much: they are very cute and very quirky little Pokemon in my opinion, and they come with free mushrooms (some Paras do a 2 for 1 deal sometimes – cheapskates!) This Paras seemed afraid of me, but more afraid of the Clefairy and sprayed them with a Stun Spore of Doom! The Clefairy were indeed paralyzed, which was nice, and it allowed us to break through when Amanda came running down the tunnel with all the Clefairy following after.

The thing that happened next is the single vilest thing I have ever seen happen in my life. I have seen people get picked on cruelly, Pokemon getting abused, seen murder and war on the news, but this was just… disgusting.

Amanda commanded her Arbok to use Earthquake on the tunnel, causing it to collapse. The Clefairy in there were crushed and killed, and I was ready to crush and kill that selfish bitch. This was the most inhumane way of stopping the Clefairy. I know battling and defeating them and leaving them unconscious isn't the best way of dealing with Pokemon whose habitats we have invaded, but it is better than simply killing them. I am all for the rights of wild Pokemon, and usually do my best not to disturb them when I go through. To casually kill an entire group of Clefairy is just wrong. The Clefairy were not the ones at fault – it was Amanda and her reality stars that angered them, and they are the ones who should be punished.

I left without saying a word to them, and officially caught the scared little Paras, now Frances, shortly after that. She is now part of the team, and it seems that I have also caught a Sandy as well. I don't mind getting a travelling companion, and I must admit that it will be nice to have someone to train with, to talk to that can reply in English (I can never tell the difference between "Pidgey Pidge Otto" and "Otto Pidge Pidgey"), and possibly get her to cook for me because I can't even cook popcorn without stuffing it up.

But than Sandy decided to do something that led to my second bad experience for the week: she wanted to go looking for fossils. I was wary of straying further into the mountain, but was drowned by her protests and the fact she was already running off. And than I remembered Pewter Museum… you all remember, right? I'll give you a moment …. Same page? Good. So I thought it would be interesting to see if there were any fossils here, and maybe I could get rid of them before some one else appears and tries to use them for diabolical schemes.

But as it turned out, that someone was already there and already diabolically scheming.

Gideon was pleasant but sadistic as he had been last time, and was apparently struggling to find the fossils. I simply wanted to get this all over with: I am meant to be collecting badges, not collecting injuries and a long list of psycho enemies. So of course Paige and Darwin fought his Electrode, with help from Sandy's Butterfree and later her Onix, who was a bit of a show stopper (I can see a career in the West End of Celadon City for this one ;) ) Gideon was going to give up, but than I did the foolish thing… I answered back. I told him I would just get them once he left, and he warned me once again about this game I was in. He then had his Electrode fly towards my head, and only a powerful Metal Claw from Paras sent him flying and smashing through a hole in the wall, which, of course, revealed the fossils! I went running towards them along with everyone else, but than another robot appeared.

You read right, and I bet most of you have won some bets about wheter that would happen again. This one was a Golem we originally mistook for a boulder, and it began a powerful fight with Onix, and I was forced to leave Gideon and flee for my life. We only learnt Golem was a robot when Onix smashed him to the ground and, guess what, it exploded! It seems that lots of things explode around me, which is a bit of frightening thought, and this was a pretty hot, powerful blast, just like when a – I shan't finish this, I believe this blog is T rated. But after the blast, I looked up and swore very very loudly, because Gideon was gone and the fossils were gone – brilliant.

Did I do the right thing in fleeing from Onix and Golem? Should I have told him I would fight him back? If I hadn't been so rash to get him off my back and move on with my journey, maybe he wouldn't have escaped… Im not sure… I just want to put all of this behind me and focus on my journey, but I am not sure if I can, especially now that this Golem Bot appeared. This thing was sent to try and kill us, I am sure of that, as it had no other reason being there and did attack Onix. I need to find some answers and I need to get this weight off my back, just so I can get a move on and focus on the things that are more important.

I need to focus back on my training. Darwin has shown his strong and his ability to fight, but I need to get his anger under control and keep him focused on battling properly rather than flipping out. I get the feeling sometimes that he doesn't like me, so I am going to have to train him up to trust me more. Frances has also shown amazing powers, but I think she is far too afraid of things to be good in battles. She will be an asset come time to face off with the Admiral Ginge aka Misty, the Water type gym leader, so I must work on her skills. Paige is doing just fine, but some new moves and some more training won't harm her much either.

I will bring more tales of laughter and explosions after the gym battle. Hopefully no one tries to kill me before than, as I just got a new shirt and I don't really want to wash blood out of it. I must find someone and tell them about Gideon getting the fossils, and maybe they can deal with it instead – Im a Pokemon Trainer, not CSI.

Until next time, stay safe and stay out of caves,

Alaska 'Still in One Piece' Acevedo.

PS. I have the feeling someone or something is watching me. I was asleep last night and heard a twig snap, and when I stared out of the tent, I saw a figure moving away. I still don't know who gave me that warning back in the Beedrill nest, but that's just another thing Im going to have to find out, isn't it?