A/N: Sorry, for the little cliffhanger ;) But I didn't want to write the scene twice.. So you'll just get Draco's p.o.v now ;) .. I hope you'll enjoy and please leave me your thoughts! I was soo excited about all the great comments you left last time.. I really appreciate it!
"Mr Malfoy, I simply cannot tolerate the failed completion of your homework any longer. I expect you to write both essays today during your detention." Professor McGonagall was saying as she led him into her empty classroom. "I will give you two hours. Then I expect them to be ready." Sternly, she looked at him and Draco nodded, a grim expression on his face.
Then the teacher left and closed the door behind her. It was exactly what Draco needed today: an alibi. Quickly he went to the window nearest to him and opened it. A cold wind blew around his face as he raised his wand.
"Accio broom!" he said, concentrating on the spot where he had laid out his broom earlier. And only a minute later his Nimbus 2001 appeared, soaring across the air. It flew through the window and hovered above the ground to his side. Quickly he mounted it and kicked off. He needed to be fast. The icy air crept into his robes as he flew down to the edge of the forest, knowing that he couldn't leave the grounds of Hogwarts while on a broom. The security measures were too strict these days. So he landed on the cold ground, where nobody could see him, and hid his broom underneath a pile of twigs and fallen leaves.
He wrapped his scarf around his face now and pulled it up above his nose; it would be cleverer if nobody saw him today. Then he pulled up his large hood, hiding his traitorously blond hair underneath it.
The streets of Hogsmeade were deserted; most of the students were already crammed into the shops and pubs, not keen on spending any more time outside in this bad weather. Swiftly Draco approached the Three Broomsticks and entered the pub, looking for a secluded corner. He kept his hood up as he walked through the room, not meeting eyes with anyone. Finally he sat down at a small table, conveniently hidden between the coat rack and a giant barrel of butterbeer.
And then he sat there alone for a long time, waiting for the right moment. The hood was still drawn deep into his face and his steely grey eyes were barely visible, fixed on the barmaid of the pub. From time to time he would take a sip of his drink and let his gaze wander through the crowd. The room was so full of peculiar people that he didn't stand out at all.
As he sat there and waited, he realized that it were times like these, he usually dreaded; times when he was able to think for a moment about what he was doing. The last weeks of his life had probably been worse than his ugliest nightmares, and that was saying much these days. He had spent every waking minute inside the Room of Requirement, trying to fix the broken Vanishing Cabinet, in which Montague had been stuck last year.
His plan was simple enough in theory: mend the Cabinet, get Death Eaters inside the school, kill Dumbledore.
But he was already failing at its first step. He had no idea how to mend this bloody thing and he was growing more impatient each day. The Dark Lord had told him to finish his task before Christmas, but it was already nearing November now and he hadn't made the slightest progress. He was sure that if he arrived back at the Manor, without having done anything to kill the headmaster, he would probably not even return to school after the holidays. At least not alive... maybe he would come back as a ghost to share a cosy little toilet cubicle with Myrtle.
A chilly sensation trickled down his spine; now he was already joking about his own death.
He didn't really think that what he had planned for today would work, but still he had to make some effort to show the Lord that he was at least trying. And so he sat inside the smoky pub today, his wand ready underneath the table. He had put an Imperius Curse on the barmaid some time ago and he knew that a certain package from Borgin and Burkes lay behind the bar, ready to be delivered to the headmaster and kill him as soon as he opened it.
Casually, he nipped on his butterbeer (actually he had made Rosmerta spike it with firewhiskey), as the door of the pub opened once more. His eyes flew over and he watched how Potter and the Weasel entered; Draco averted his gaze as the bushy head of the Mudblood whipped in sight, knowing who would follow her in a second.
Draco was avoiding Jade at all costs, convinced that he wouldn't stand another close encounter with her. He knew her timetable by heart and had taken many, many detours in the castle in order to avoid her. The last time he had really seen her was when they had broken up, a week after the start of term. It had cost him all of his willpower to keep his mind shut during their conversation and it had been a bloody torture. To see her standing there in front of him, disappointed and hurt. And to know that he was the cause for it. He had wanted to take her in his arms, kiss her and tell her that everything would be alright again. But he couldn't. He was determined not to. He had thought of his father in Azkaban and knew that a Malfoy would do this for his family.
He wished he could say that he broke up with her for some noble reason, like good men usually did when doing something this stupid. But he was not one of the good guys, no hero like Potter. He was one of the bad ones.. one of the worst. A blasted Death Eater, he was. He was the one, who put the Imperius curse on innocent barmaids and send cursed objects to his headmaster.
And the real reason why he had broken up with her was solely to make it easier for himself. So that he could put all of his energy in the task that lay ahead of him. He hadn't even lied when he had told her this. But he had certainly lied at another part of their talk. He knew what she had to be thinking now; first he had slept with her and then he had dumped her. Classic. And he hated himself for it, for everything.
But Jade wasn't just any girl. Hell, no. She was so much more than that. She was the only girl, who had ever stirred up Draco's conscience. He didn't exactly know how she had done it, but from the day she had stumbled into him, when he hadn't even been looking, she had slowly conquered his heart. A good thing he didn't need one anymore.. not as a Death Eater...
But when the two of them had been together he had done so many things, he had never done for any other person. And he would never do. Only for her. When he thought of her (and he knew this sounded sappy, but it was true), he always wanted to be a better person; a person, who really deserved her, and a person, she could look up to. But that was exactly the opposite of what he needed to become and the reason why he couldn't be together with her any longer.
Draco simply knew that he had no strength to be her boyfriend and a Death Eater at the same time. Being a Death Eater wasn't something you could pull through with half-heartedly. In order to survive Draco had to become a cold-blooded murderer and no love-sick weakling. He had told himself this so many times and he knew it to be true.
And the first step in this direction had been to break up with the girl, he.. well, with her. He had postponed it for as long as he could, but as she finally stood in front of him, he knew he had to make it bloody painful. So she would keep her distance from him. And the only consoling thought, he had at the time, was that she would probably be better off without him anyway. Sooner or later he would break her smile for good. A girl like her shouldn't spend her time with a ruddy Death Eater, he told himself.
And then the real misery had begun. Draco couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat; he just was a walking, empty shell of the boy he used to be. During the day he would keep himself occupied with his task and clear his mind with utmost painstakingness. But in the nights, when he tried to sleep and let his guard down, she would come to him in every blasted dream of his. Sometimes they were nightmares, horrible, horrible ones; and other times it was pure heaven. Then he would hold her again, kiss her lips and feel her touches on his skin. But even though those dreams were wonderful, they were torturous at the same time. And the next morning he would wake up even more exhausted than on the evening before. So by now he dreaded the night even more than he dreaded the day.
And although he was convinced that this was the only way; it was just so hard. He felt alone and he missed her. Some nights he was close to crying. And just to be clear here: a Malfoy never cried. But still he sometimes wondered whether he had made the right decision or whether he had made a mistake. Maybe he would be stronger if she was still by his side..?
As Draco felt his thoughts wander in this direction, he immediately stopped himself. He shouldn't go there. He had made his decision and now simply had to make sure that Dumbledore left this world a little prematurely.
His gaze fell back on Madam Rosmerta; the timing seemed good. He pointed his wand at her from under the table; he would renew the Imperius Curse once more.
"Imperio" he muttered, holding his fist in front of his mouth. Immediately a familiar hot sensation seemed to flow out of his mind and tingled down to his left arm, which held his wand, connecting him to Rosmerta. He really was becoming more adept at those Unforgivables.
'Take the package now and go into the Ladies' room. Wait for the first Hogwarts student to enter; Imperius her and make sure she will deliver the package to Dumbledore. Go!'
Draco followed the barmaid with his eyes as she made her way over to the Ladies' room and he didn't have to wait long to see the first girl approach the door.
And then the blood froze in his veins. His stomach clenched together violently. It was Jade! With utter horror he watched how she manoeuvred her way through the crowd smoothly and for a moment his mind was simply blank from the shock.
No! No, he couldn't let her walk in there! He simply couldn't!
Draco jumped up from his seat, splattering butterbeer everywhere and sprinted through the pub, pushing the other customers roughly aside. He simply had to reach her before she entered the bathroom. He would never forgive himself if he didn't! And just as Jade raised her hand to take hold of the door handle, he reached her. He caught her arm in his hand and forcefully yanked her back, making her stumble into his chest. Out of instinct Draco snaked his arms around her waist, holding her to him protectively. He got her. She was safe.
He slowly exhaled a breath and closed his eyes, feeling how she turned around in his arms. A faint trace of her scent blended into the smoky air of the pub now and Draco cursed loudly in his head as he realized how his determination wavered even further. He couldn't see how her gaze turned up towards him, but he could feel how her body froze against his own.
And even though Draco knew he should look anywhere but back at her, his eyes opened now and found hers. And it knocked the wind out of him. Merlin, he had forgotten how beautiful she was. He stared down at her and could feel how the walls, he had built up so carefully inside him, crumbled down. She was tearing them down faster than he could ever have imagined.
He was still holding her and he didn't want to let go. He watched her, taking in every little detail of her appearance like a starved person. The way her dark hair cascaded down in soft waves, her beautiful eyes that were looking up at him, her slender nose, those full lips he still longed to kiss. But something was wrong; she didn't look happy. She pushed against his chest now.
"Let go of me!" It sounded as if she was pleading. She struggled against him now.
"Jade." He started. Her name rolled from his tongue like a long lost lover. "I..", but then he stopped as another person pushed past him. It was a girl; Draco recognized her as Katie Bell, the Gryffindor Chaser. She smiled at Jade as she passed them and then entered the Ladies' room. Draco watched her, knowing in the back of his mind what was going to happen in a minute. But he didn't even care about it. All he was thinking about in this moment was the girl in front of him.
She had stopped struggling now and was simply looking up at him, shaking her head slightly and breathing a little shakily. He could sense that she was angry and hurt. But still she hadn't hexed him into next year, what she could have done easily by now. His arms were wrapped tightly around her small waist and Draco's body was aching to pull her in even closer. Then he looked back into her eyes and he could feel how both of them lost themselves in the moment. Something inside him stirred and he knew he wouldn't even try to fight it this time.
The feeling of her body against his own made him never want to let go of her again. Never. He missed her so terribly and he wanted her back. He wanted to hold her in his arms every day. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him.
How could he do this? How could he get her back? She would probably curse him if he tried to kiss her now.. But maybe it was worth a try?
She broke their eye contact and lowered her face to his chest. Her small hands were still pushing slightly against it, but he was far too strong for her. He pulled one arm away from her waist and moved his hand up to catch her chin in his fingers, tilting her head up to look at him again. She looked scared.
Draco could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he slowly bent forwards. "No!" Jade started pushing a little harder against him and tried to move her face to the side, but Draco kept it firmly in place with his hand. Her skin felt incredibly soft and he couldn't resist the temptation to brush his thumb over her lips. They opened at his touch and let out a breath that sounded a little like a sob. It tore at his heart. He moved closer still... Her eyes fluttered shut now.
And then the door behind her opened. The Gryffindor girl stepped out, clutching a package, wrapped in brown paper, to her chest. It struck Draco like a lightning bolt.
What on earth was he doing? !
As if he had been burned, he quickly let go of the girl and backed away, tearing his eyes away from her. He turned on the spot and raced out of the pub and out onto the cold, stormy street. He was almost running as he rounded a few corners, coming to a halt in a deserted backstreet. Breathing very heavily, he leaned back against the wall of a house, steadying his breath.
He swore loudly and wildly as he tilted his head back, knocking it a few times into the wall behind him. He closed his eyes. He was such a bloody idiot.
He had just reacted like he knew he would. He had forgotten all about what he was supposed to do. Merlin, maybe people had even seen him in front of the bathroom door, preventing her from entering. As soon as the package would have reached Dumbledore, they would surely suspect him. They only had to trace back the origin of the package and there he was, preventing her from being the one to deliver it. And Jade herself would surely know that he was behind this. Merlin, he was so stupid! His alibi was completely buggered up now.
The cold wind bit at his face like tiny razor blades and sleet was coming down thick and fast, but he didn't care. He didn't even close his coat. A part of him was extremely tempted to go back in his memory and remember what had just happened in front of the bathroom.. his girl in his arms. He refused to stop calling her that, 'his' girl. She always would be. And if anyone ever tried to change that, he would surely snap his head off. And now weird feelings shot through his mind faster than he could handle it: possessiveness, jealousy, hurt, longing, desperation. His breathing sped up, he couldn't control it. He needed to go back.
But then he knocked his head back into the wall another time, a little harder.
'Clear your mind, you fool!', he told himself. It was harder than before to do so. He cursed again. He couldn't do this much longer; it would be the end of him.
He stood in the dark of the alley for some time, fighting with his own mind. Then a scream pierced the air, carried along by the wind all the way to him. It was a girl. A foreboding feeling rose up inside him. He made his way through the different small streets until he saw what had happened in the grey light of the fading day. A little way further up on the way to the castle there was a small group of students. Draco saw that one of them was lying on the ground, screaming in agony and thrashing around. It was Katie Bell. Draco groaned and closed his eyes. He had fucked up. He felt close to vomiting.
Her screams tore at his insides; he was responsible for this. And then the screaming stopped and Draco opened up his eyes again to see the large form of Rubeus Hagrid carry the girl up to the castle. The other students followed quickly.
Had he just killed her?
Draco made his body walk back to the edge of the forest, where he had left his broom. And then he flew up to the open window of the Transfiguration classroom again; his mind was blank. He probably was in a state of shock. As if under the influence of the Imperius Curse himself, he closed the window behind him again, shrunk his broom with his wand and pocketed it. Then he sat down at the desk, where Professor McGonagall had laid out some parchment for him. He had exactly five minutes to write two fifteen inch essays.
Surprisingly this was the least of his problems today. He rummaged in the inside of his cloak and pulled out two scrolls of parchment; he had bribed a Ravenclaw seventh-year two write them for him earlier and had already copied them in his own handwriting.
He put them down on the desk in front of him and then sat on his chair rigidly, checking his body and the room for anything suspicious in spite of himself. As the door opened twenty minutes later, Professor McGonagall stepped inside the room, looking flustered. Her eyes swept the classroom and then rested on him.
"Are you ready, Mr Malfoy?"
He nodded and stood up, taking the scrolls of parchment with him to hand them over.
"Excuse my tardiness," she said now. "There has been a horrible accident involving one of my students." Draco noted that this didn't sound as if the girl had died. This thought eased the turmoil inside him a little.
Then he quickly feigned a look of surprise and worry; he had always been a good actor. "What has happened, Professor?"
"You will certainly hear about it soon enough, Mr Malfoy. Off you go now. I'll tell you what I think of those" She took the scrolls from him. "in my next class. And please do remember your homework this time."
Draco nodded and then left the classroom in front of the professor. He had failed. He just was one giant, walking failure. He knew he should go back to the Room of Requirement now and spend the remainder of the day working on the Cabinet. But somehow his feet carried him on their own accord. And minutes later he found himself in front of the Prefect's bathroom, a place he usually avoided... like he avoided every memory of her. But this time he entered the room. Maybe he could manage to drown himself in the hot water of the tub. A man could still hope.
