Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
Insecurities ahoy! Because we totally needed another chapter reminding you how many problems Crow has!
In all seriousness though, I thought I'd written about Crow and Changeling a lot more than I actually have. Seriously, they only have about 8-11 chapters from their perspectives combined. I just talk about them so much it feels like more. For reference, Robyn alone has around 16, and Cyborg and Starfire each have around 4-6. Alone, Changeling has about 6 or 7 while Crow has around 4 (not including this one). Hex has 2. I'm not being that precise because I'm tired.
I count half-and-halves as 1 for each, with quarters not counting unless they're particularly long quarters (in which case they count as a half tally).
RUBAN
My return to consciousness is slow, uncomfortable. It feels like my mind is pushing through jello; it's not painful, but certainly not comfortable. I wonder if that's why I can't really move my arms… My legs are responding, but my hands feel like they're being squeezed together. It's also a bit hard to breath, like I have something in my mouth…
When my mind does clear up, I realize that this is exactly the case. I have a gag in my mouth, and my hands are bound behind my back. I'm lying on the floor in a hallway with no one in sight.
"This is familiar, too familiar, I don't want this to happen again!" My panic is instant. I don't know where Maria is, and my father isn't around to save me this time. The fact that there is also no one hostile around eludes me as I start to hyperventilate. "MARIA!"
Not even being able to yell makes the situation all the more terrifying. My magic, and the fact that I could just get up and walk, is entirely forgotten as I struggle to free my hands.
I can hear a door hiss open, someone staggering out.
"Ruban! What's wrong!?" Maria's voice is loud, concerned, and clearly confused, but it's familiar, and in a good way this time. My struggling is stopped by her wrapping an arm around me and turning me to face her while pulling me to my feet. She is disoriented; that much is obvious from the rapid blinking and squinting. "What is it?"
My panic is largely dissipated, though being unable to talk or move my arms still inspires great fear. All I can do is hope she sees what's wrong.
"Is it the gag?" She asks, apparently seeing the problem. "Just a moment…"
She carefully pulls the cloth out of my mouth, as if afraid of somehow hurting me. She claws through the handcuffs around my wrists as well.
"Robyn isn't going to like that..." She murmurs. "What's wrong Ruban? I swear I heard you yelling..." There was an implicit "But how did you do that with the gag on?"
I'm still to upset, and terrified, to properly respond, instead choosing to wrap my arms around her and cling tight, my eyes squeezed close.
"Ruban?" Maria's voice is now heavy with concern. I half expect her to shove me off, only now realizing how horribly rude my action was. I'm relieved to instead feel her reciprocating; her arms curling around me and keeping me in the embrace. "I don't understand," She murmurs, rubbing my back as we both sink to our knees, "but I'm here. Whatever it is, I'll help."
I still don't say anything, instead focusing on regulating my breathing. The rubbing is soothing, gentle. "Calm down… It's all in your head, you weren't in trouble, it wasn't going to happen again. Just calm down…"
Maybe she heard my breathing slow down, or maybe I stopped tensing up, but the rubbing (sadly) stops. To my relief, Maria doesn't pull away, but instead starts talking again; speaking in a whisper that tickles my ear. "I was disoriented, I guess having your soul swapped around does that. No one else is up, you were the first one. I was all sluggish until I heard you yell. Then, well, I was still woozy, but at least I could move." Her chuckle is weak, her concern still making her nervous. "That's adrenaline for you. Seriously though, how did you talk into my head? Are you telepathic?"
"Mm-hm." I murmur, still keeping my head against her. "O-Only when I'm sc-scared."
"What was it? The Puppeteer?" She asks.
I shake my head. The feeling of being in a puppet was horrifying, but Starfire and Cyborg were there too, so it was bearable. "G-Gag." I whisper hoarsely. "H-Handcuffs."
She doesn't question why, but I can almost feel her confusion. "You okay now?"
I nod, and reluctantly let her go. I make sure to keep my gaze on the floor, far too embarrassed to look her in the eye.
"You don't have to let go." She says, surprising me by pulling me into another hug. This time she makes sure to lower her head, pressing it against mine, so that I have to look her in the eye. "You of all people should know that I don't really have anything against physical affection, especially if it'll make you feel better. My customers were far more… pushy, and they got away with it."
"They p-p-paid." I mutter. "I don't have m-money."
"You have infinite credit." She jokes, lightening the mood. "Better yet, I'll let you ignore working hours."
"I d-didn't like y-your customers." I reply, slightly flushed red. "I don't w-want to be like th-them."
"You're not, and I didn't like them either, though I definitely like you." Maria chuckles. "But money was money, legal or otherwise."
"Yeah." I mutter. "I-If I hadn't lost my g-gems…"
"That was hardly your fault." She scoffs. "You were hardly prepared, and from what I know you had no way of ever being prepared."
"Hmm…" I mumble, not totally agreeing. I feel much better now though. Maria's banter is calming.
A small groan from the still open door catches our attention. I quickly pull out of Maria's grasp, not wanting to let her be seen by our teammates in such a position. I don't want to ruin her image because of my own weakness.
Knowing what I do about our leader, she'd probably get mad at me for something like this.
"Is that you Cy?" Mari- Changeling calls out. "You awake?"
"I think so." The metal girl groans. "Can't move my arms though."
"Ah, yeah, uh, Rob kinda bit the wires so…"
"Dang." Cyborg chuckles weakly. "You got some strong teeth Change."
"Need help?" Changeling offers. "Repairs I mean."
"Nah." She laughs. "I have internal repair bots. If it's just a wire or two they'll fix it on their own."
"Really?"
"Yeah, some are really tiny, microscopic, some are a bit larger for situations exactly like this."
"Wow." Changeling chuckles. "Kinda like my regeneration."
"Well yeah, I'm not exactly biological. I need a way to repair on the fly." Cyborg shrugs.
"You never- *cough* -mentioned regeneration." Robyn croaks, sitting up. "I thought you said you listed everything."
"Well a few things might have slipped my mind…" Changeling chuckles.
"I apologize." Starfire's voice sounds weakly from somewhere inside the room. "I caused you much trouble."
"No worries." Robyn says. "Why don't you use that armor all the time?"
"I prefer not to bring the metaphorical gun to the knife fight." Starfire sighs. "Or trident and armor in this case. I figured it would be more useful as a surprise tactic than being my standard strategy."
"Fair case." Cyborg grunts. "I don't pull out the missiles every fight."
"I don't bother to go all out that often either." Changeling shrugs. "Trust me, I know how to make very good use of being able to transform quickly."
"And it's not like I use the R-cycle's battle mode that often." Robyn mutters.
Everyone turns to look at me, as if expecting me to pitch in. They're right of course; I have quite a bit more power than I actually use, and that isn't even getting into what I can do with ritual spells. It's also ignoring my pyromancy, as well as the many, many, miscellaneous skills I've picked up from just learning how to perform rituals. Instead of mentioning any of that though, I just squeak out, "I can heal..."
…
"Right." Robyn coughs. "Er, Crow, I don't suppose you know how to find out what happened to the Puppeteer do you? She sorta just… Exploded; but she made it sound like she can body jump."
"I don't have the materials," I murmur. It's difficult to keep myself from stuttering in front of everyone. I already failed once in front of Robyn, I don't want that to happen again, it's dangerous. Maria is the exception, not the rule. "And by the time I could get what I'd need, the magic signature would be weak and hard to track. I suppose I could do the stronger version, but then we'd need diamond powder…"
"I'd rather not buy that." Robyn sighs. "I guess we'll just be on guard. It's not like we have wooden dolls lying around the tower anyways. Nothing to possess. There's no saying that she can possess something else instantly anyways."
"So what then?" Cyborg asks. "Should we all just go back to sleep for now?"
"I guess so." Robyn shrugs. "Unless anyone else has a suggestion?"
Silence.
"Okay then. We'll figure out the schedule tomorrow when we all wake up. Don't feel rushed, we had a nasty experience tonight." Robyn says. "Dismissed."
We all shuffle over to the elevator, squeezing awkwardly into the small space. Despite my exhaustion, I can't say I look forward to falling back asleep.
The elevator opens, and we file out. I hear more than a few yawns from my teammates as they head back to their rooms.
"Hey!" Cyborgs calls. "What happened to my door?"
"Mine as well." Starfire adds.
"We couldn't get in!" Robyn replies, yelling down the hall from her room. "I blew them down!"
"Ah geez." Cyborg groans as she enters her room. "I'm gonna have to fix these tomorrow."
"I dislike sleeping out in the open." Starfire sighs, entering his room as well.
"Why isn't my door broken?" I mumble.
"I know your passcode, remember?" Changeling laugh.
"Oh, right." I say, slightly embarrassed at forgetting.
As everyone else disappears into their room, I move nervously back to mine. I'll be honest, despite being tired, I'd much prefer not to go back to sleep. I'm scared. I just got my soul pulled out of my body before I could wake up, and when I returned back to normal I was bound and gagged.
Not fun. Terrifying. It's much easier to cope with danger that comes at you head on; constantly watching over your shoulder is the stuff of nightmares. There doesn't even need to be something after you, because you drive yourself mad…
I wish Father was here. He always let me sleep with him in his bed when I was scared, even when I became a teenager. He would make jokes and spout pieces of wisdom to calm me down.
I miss him…
I wish I could stay in the same room as someone. I would feel a lot safer with someone else around… But I can't. The others aren't my parents, and I've already taken a big risk with Maria tonight, so I don't want to take another… But then my sleep is going to suffer…
So what then? Risk being seen as a creep but potentially be able to sleep soundly, or just accept bad sleep but not risk what little reputation I have?
I… I wish I wasn't so childish. I'm sure the others aren't having this problem. Teenagers aren't supposed to have these problems, right?
Maybe it couldn't hurt to ask Maria...? I mean it could, but she's put up with me so far, so maybe this will be fine too? I don't want to push my luck, but I'm still scared. Even on Azarath I was relatively safe at home; I've never been in danger inside my own home.
I don't know what to do. I know what I want to do, but not what I should.
Maybe Robin's orders can help me decide. Her orders were just to go back to sleep, but being on my own would make that hard, so I suppose, according to Robyn's orders, I should go talk to Maria?
"Yeah, that's it. Just following orders." I think to myself nervously as I leave my room. I take great pains to make as little noise as possible as I float over to her door. "Not being creepy, not being childish, just following orders."
…
"I'm totally being creepy, but I don't want to be alone."
MARIA
Knock knock.
The sound is so faint I almost don't hear it. I had just slipped out of my outfit and into my sleepwear (see: undergarments) and was about to pull up the covers when someone decided to knock.
My best bet is on Robyn. She probably wants to talk something over, seeing as we just had our bodies swapped not half an hour ago.
I debate throwing on a t-shirt, just for modesty's sake, but decide against it. As I told Ruban (albeit indirectly), I'm hardly stingy about my body; my old job made sure of that. That, and I'm lazy; the laziness is probably a bigger factor than my lack of self-consciousness.
Yawning, I walk over to the door and tap the button to let it open. I'm greatly surprised to not see Robyn, but Ruban. He looks quite pale (more so than normal I mean), and seems quite jumpy; so much so that he completely disregards my state of undress, something I know he would react to under normal circumstances.
"M-M-Maria." He stutters, eyes flicking all around, searching for threat. It doesn't take a genius to figure out he's terrified of something. "I-I-I u-um…" He gulps thickly. "I-I-I…"
His inability to actually spit out what he wants to say worries me even more. I quickly move into the hall, pushing him behind me and looking around for anything that might be there. My adrenaline starts to pump once more.
"What is it?" I ask in a hushed voice, my ears pricking up to detect any odd noises. "What happened? Did you see something? Hear something?"
"N-N-No!" He protests, waving his hands frantically with wide eyes. "Th-There's nothing th-there!"
His reassurance calms me down a bit, though his obvious fear still puts me on edge. "What is it then?" I whisper, turning to look at him with concern. "You can tell me."
"I-It's j-just…" He stammers. "I-It's a bit… Childish…" He says this like he's confessing murder, a deeply regretful look on his face.
"Childish?" My mind searches for a possibility. Something that would fit the situation. Suddenly, it hits me. "Ah, I get it." I smile as gently as possible, wanting to show he doesn't need to be ashamed. "You can't sleep, can you? Too many worries, right?"
He looks shocked that I managed to figure it out. "H-How-?"
"I'm no different." I admit. "I mean, I suppose I have more practice dealing with this sorta stuff, but… I'm scared too." He looks greatly relieved, a timid smile crosses his face in knowing that I empathize with his situation. "You want to stay with me?" I ask, guessing what his question was. He nods rapidly.
"I'll get my bed." He whispers, rushing off to grab his mattress.
I smile, happy knowing I could help my closest friend. Plus, I wasn't lying about being scared myself. I'm very glad to have him staying with me.
I shove my mattress to one side, making room for Ruban. He enters not a moment later, mattress, blanket, and pillow hovering over his head by use of magic. He places them down gently next to mine.
I slip under my covers, watching as he takes off his boots, cloak, and belt. Unlike me, he sleeps (more or less) in uniform. It's odd to see him without his cloak on, it allows me to actually see the outline of his body, which is quite thin, though not to the point of being labeled 'boney' or 'stick-like'.
Ruban lies down and pulls the blankets up to his neck. He's facing me and, just like me, deriving comfort from being able to see the other person in the room.
"'Night Maria..." He mumbles, eyes drooping closed. "Thank you…"
"Goodnight Ruban." I say softly. "Anything for you."
"Smile." He requests in a mumble, half joking; his voice grows faint as he almost falls asleep, but he opens his eyes again, intending to hold me to my word.
After a request as adorable as that, I can hardly refuse. I give a heartfelt smile, and am rewarded with one from him in in return.
Finally, we both close our eyes for the final time that night, drifting off into a sleep made infinitely more comfortable by the other's presence.
Crow has issues, lots of issues (and freakouts apparently, that's two in two days). Luckily, Changeling has a surprising amount of patience and isn't fazed by what everyone else sees as 'childish' or 'stupid'. Really, both of them are abnormally honest with each other; despite their secrets they have a lot of trust between them.
It took me several tries to get the last scene right. I wasn't sure how Crow should go about talking to Changeling and explaining his problem. I figured he'd be too embarrassed… Until I realized that that was the perfect way to get his problem across. Changeling is pretty sharp on matters concerning behaviour and psychology (especially when it comes to someone she's lived with for several months), so she'd deduce the problem fairly quickly, and it's not like she'd say no.
Origami Stars: Actually no, Changeling is quite acrobatic in her own right. Not so much as Rob, but better than the rest of the team.
Wouldn't you like being totally sexy (with literally zero effort), having regeneration, enhanced senses, enhanced strength, retractable claws and fangs that can pierce steel, blow-resistant skin, and the ability to transform into animals, with the only drawback being green skin? Yeah, I thought so. Of course Robyn likes Changeling's powers!
I'm not sure if 'clumsy' was what I intended for Cyborg, but hey, whatever you say. You hit the nail on the head for the rest of them though.
A person: Not just breathing fire, but outright pyromancy! There are several other biological quirks I have planned that haven't been mentioned yet too.
Changeling's protectiveness is all her. Her powers actually have very little effect on her emotions, barring the Beast of course. It helps that Crow has a similar backstory to her in some ways. He grew up in a tough situation because of parental problems and a bad environment, has major mental issues because of it, and was a meta-human living on the streets. That's both of them in a nutshell, though some aspects apply more to one than the other (and could be ostensibly applied to Robyn and Cyborg too); Crow being adorable and looking up to her certainly didn't hurt either.
