A/N:
EDIT: ATTENTION, this chapter is currently being rewritten, as it had been brought to my attention that it was badly executed and I need to fix it. Please be patient until I get a chance to go back and fix things. This arc will be on hold until I make the necessary changes.
Yo dudes wassup.
So, next chapter of "Despair". This is still setting the stage and stuff, and focuses more on the thoughts and emotions the characters are experiencing than anything else. But, the action starts next chapter, and from there on there will be aaaaaangst ::drools:: Man, am I looking forward to writing it, and I hope y'all are looking forward to reading it.
Disclaimer: I don't own RotG.
"...than maybe yer not fit ta be a Suzerain. Or a spirit. Or even alive, fer that matter-"
Bunny internally winced at the memory, and stared at the horizon, watching dully as the coastline of Poland approached him. For all his rough exterior, the Pooka was not completely unfeeling, no matter how much he tried to pretend otherwise, and it had been difficult to say such harsh words, even if he did somewhat believe them. Despite himself, a part of him still saw Jack Frost as a friend, and it was becoming increasingly harder to push aside his personal feelings in favor of logic and calm, his turbulent emotions causing him to alternate between lashing out randomly and feeling horribly guilty.
And wasn't that pathetic of him? He, a Pooka, the last surviving member of a bygone race that was known for favoring reason over emotions and rationality over impulse, was feeling emotions, and moreover, was on the brink of allowing said emotions to control him at a desperate hour when his companions depended on him to keep his head. He had sworn over and over again to never repeat the same mistake he'd in trusting General Kozmotis Pitchner, and yet here he was, inches away from treading down the thorny path that he knew from bitter experience led only to sorrow, heartbreak, and sacrifice.
Because when you tilted your head to one side and squinted just right, you could see startling parallels between Bunny's current situation concerning Jack, and the events that had led to the extermination of the entire Pooka race. Bunny had trusted Kozmotis Pitchner in the same way that he trusted Jack, and had refused to admit Pitchner's fall from grace until it was too late, far too late. Bunny had been voluntarily blind to Pitchner's corruption by Fearlings up until he'd watched his family die right in front of him, and even then had found it hard to believe that the strong, confident man he'd once called a friend had allowed himself to transform into the broken monster that was Pitch Black. Bunny's naivety and foolishness was partly responsible for the deaths of his fellow Pookas.
But never again, he swore. Never again would he allow himself to be beguiled. The part of his brain that wanted him to give Jack another chance, the same part of him that had made him cling stubbornly onto the ridiculous hope that Pitchner was still himself, was either a liar or a stupidly sanguine buffoon, and Bunny would not allow it to deceive him again. Never again would he be deluded by false hopes. He would not lose his fellow Guardians like he had lost his father, his mother, his siblings, his mate, his kits.
Never again.
Jack wasn't having a very good day so far. Or week. Or month.
Generally speaking, winter was a horrible season if you were the Suzerain of it. Yes, he loved the snow and the wind and all that, and if those were the only things he had to deal with during his winter duties, than he would perform said duties with pleasure.
But, unfortunately, when you represented a certain season, you also had to handle the diplomatic side of things, such as public relations and negotiations with other spirit groups, and Jack really hated doing that, because it meant either wasting time listening to some very boring spirits rambling about spirit politics and decorum and other pointless things, or wasting time listening to some equally-boring spirits ranting about how winter was terrible and he was a terrible person and everybody hated him. Time which he could not afford to waste, because he had work to do and it was the height of his season and wasn't it obvious that he was highly neurotic and not in the mood to talk to the various ambassadors? But of course not, the ambassadors got their precious little feelings hurt when he ordered them away, and then he had to scramble to avoid an all-out war, and all in all it was better to just deal with the ambassadors anyway and listen to them babble about their cats or whatever, except that there was that itch under his skin that screamed at him to make snow and ice and blizzards and snowsnowsnow and it was really hard to ignore it, especially when he was already running on only three gallons of coffee, four hours of sleep in as many weeks, and the energy high that he and the other Court members always got when it was time to spread winter.
So yeah. Winter had a tendency to suck when you were a Suzerain. Jack could handle the lack of sleep and the boundless energy and the neurosis and the constant clamor of snowsnowsnow ice and wind and snow from various regions of the Earth, but he could not handle all the idiots who wanted to talk to him about their cats. Cats were cute and fluffy, but the middle of January just wasn't a good time for discussing them. April was fine. June was fine. Any time from February to September was fine. But January? No, hell no, Jack did not want to talk to people then.
Except that he had no choice, so here he was, standing in the middle of Poland and listening to two other winter spirits droning about...fish, apparently, although what fish had to do with winter was beyond him.
He...should probably ask them.
"Excuse me, but what were we talking about?"
The winter spirit who was yammering about fish, a bearded man whom Jack thought to be Morozko, blinked slowly, clearly startled. The other one, a yuki-onna whom Jack either didn't know or had forgotten the name of, huffed impatiently and crossed her arms across her chest.
"We were talking about the Guardians, my liege," explained the yuki-oona in clipped tones that make it abundantly clear that she thought Jack was an idiot. Which Jack resented slightly, because he was not an idiot. You did not survive being the Suzerain of Winter for over three centuries by being an idiot.
"What about the Guardians?" he asked, because he couldn't really be expected to follow a dull, tedious conversation very well when he was manic and constantly just on the verge of having a mental breakdown. Although the yuki-onna didn't seem to agree because there, right there, that was the look of scorn which communicated her less-than-complimentary opinions on Jack's intelligence.
"We were saying that perhaps you are focusing too much on the Guardians, my lord. It is sad that they do not accept your status, although why you expected otherwise from them is beyond me. But your loyalties are to your Court first and foremost, and you cannot allow your emotions to get in the way of your work."
Jack blinked incredulously at the yuki-onna before speaking, his voice abruptly turning chilly. "First of all, I have had three centuries of experience running the Winter Court. I am not typically prone to allowing my emotions to get the better of me when I am performing my duties. And secondly, what is the connection with fish?"
"There are other fish in the sea, my Suzerain," said Morozko gruffly, his comment somewhat of a non-sequitur. "We have bigger fish to fry at the moment."
Jack looked at the Russian as if he were insane, which, all things considered, he probably was. "Come again?"
"What Morozko means," said the yuki-onna, evidently exasperated, "although perhaps he could have phrased it better, is that your job is more important than whatever companionable feelings you may harbor towards the Guardians, and that even if you were to cut off relations with the Guardians, there are other spirits with which you could forge a friendship if you so chose, although I hardly recommend it. That aside, however, I must stress the significance of your work-"
"-Work which you are preventing me from actually doing by cornering me in Poland and talking to me about fish," interrupted Jack, irritation seeping into his voice. "Now, was there something meaningful you wished to speak to me about, or shall I go take care of a blizzard in Norway that is now two hours overdue?"
"This conversation is meaningful, my liege. If you allow your emotions to control you, the consequences could be dire."
"You are correct, but that is an 'if'. An 'if' that will not come to pass, I assure you. I have enough self-control to ignore whatever feelings I may have in favor of attending to my responsibilities as a Suzerain."
It was plain that the yuki-onna did not believe him, but nevertheless, she nodded. "If you insist. Just...be careful, my liege. You have already revealed too many weaknesses to the Guardians, there is no telling how they might try to exploit them."
A harsh, cold expression took over Jack's face, one which would not normally belong on such a youthful face, and yet in this case fit depressingly well. When he spoke, his voice was chilly and emotionless. "I have been amply taught my lesson in that regard, I can promise you. Whatever trust I might have once harbored towards the Guardians has been well and truly quashed. I would be an asinine fool not to be careful."
"Nevertheless, my lord-"
"Nevertheless what?" snapped Jack, finally at the end of his admittedly short patience. "Are you insinuating that I am gullible enough to trust someone after they practically kicked me in the teeth?"
"Hope can make fools even of the best of us, Suzerain," intoned Morozko dully.
"Not of me, I promise you. I believe that I know better than to jeopardize the safety of my people for the sake of a fleeting hope. I have learned long ago that hopes are merely cleverly crafted illusions."
The yuki-onna frowned. "Be sure that you are not making a promise you are not capable of keeping, Your Grace. Remember, the Court is counting on you, and you are still susceptible to the Guardians' influence. It is as yet impossible to cut them out of your life permanently."
"'Counting on me,' you say, even though you have drilled it countless times into my head that I am
'expendable' and 'easily replaced'?" Jack couldn't help but make that little jab, centuries of bitterness fueling it. "But, that aside, I can say that this is a promise I can and will keep. As Gaia is my witness, I swear not to allow my hopes to get the better of me, and to not let my personal feelings towards the Guardians interfere with my duties. I also swear to refrain from trusting the Guardians with any future concerns of mine, for as far as I am concerned, they are untrustworthy. Is that sufficient for you?"
"I am saddened by the lack of faith you have in us, my friend," a saddened Russian voice rumbled from behind him.
A/N: MiM, I always feel nervous about 'stage-setting' chapters. Generally because I don't write them often (because I have no patience and like to dive straight into the gritty angst, which is not a good thing) so I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Ah well, y'all have to deal with slightly awkward chapters while I figure out how tf this works.
I'm still iffy about Jack's section here (which is a weird feeling, since I normally identify with him very well). I think it's because I don't usually write scatterbrained-and-highly-caffinated!Jack. Please don't kill me.
Anyway, some explanation...
First of all, if you don't know who General Kozmotis Pitchner is...he's from the books. The general (ha, pun) idea is that Pitch Black used to be this high-ranking General dude from another planet who rounded up Fearlings (evil creatures made from pure fear that possess people, nasty stuff) and locked them up in a prison before standing guard over them. Except they manged to trick him into letting them corrupt him and turn him into Pitch Black. Oops.
Anyway, after he got corrupted, Pitch Black (now under the control of Fearlings) went on a rampage and started exterminating random planets, one of them being the planet that was the home of the Pookas. He basically killed all the Pookas except for Bunny, so Bunny is understandably somewhat pissed. And then they both ended up on Earth through a series of events that I won't get into (Google is a thing, people), and now they hate each other.
I'm not sure whether or not Bunny and Kozzy were friends before the corruption, but I decided to tweak their backstory in that direction anyway, because aaaaangst. So. Hopefully that explains Bunny's behavior from last chapter, and if it doesn't, well then I suck and should just live in a paper bag for the rest of eternity.
Secondly, Jack. Just Jack. Jack is acting weird, I know, and it's hard to understand why, because formal lingo combined with bitterness combined with whatever else is going on is not normal behavior for our dear winter spirit. But hey, I'll explain later because plot.
And now I will go to bed, because sleep.
(Questions? PM me)
(Techie out.)
