I was standing silently looking over the city below the window, today was right before Gon was supposed to fight Hisoka. I was worried for Gon because Hisoka was a violent fighter, and almost everyone who had gone up against Hisoka, died after the battle because of injuries that they had sustained while fighting Hisoka.

I didn't want to see Gon get injured within the battle and I didn't want anything to happen to Hisoka. I may have not wanted either to fight, but I knew that this was going to happen eventually. I just hopped that Hisoka would not kill Gon in their fight, but I knew that no matter what happened, I would stay by Hisoka's side.

Even if he killed Gon, I would continue to be by Hisoka's side because he did warn me that he was planning on doing this eventually, I just had hoped that it wouldn't be so soon. I saw Gon as a younger brother, and it made my heart hurt to think that he may not be in my life after tomorrow. A frown pulled at my lips as I thought of this, slowly closing my eyes and resting my forehead against the glass.

The soft sound of footsteps drew my attention, but I didn't move from where I was, pressing my forehead against the glass. Arms slowly snaked around my waist and I opened my eyes, looking over my shoulder to see Hisoka standing there, a curious glint in his golden eyes. "You are sad… I can feel it. What upset you?"

I sighed and turned in his arms to face him fully, hugging him close to me and tightly closing my eyes. "I'm sad to think that Gon might die tomorrow… I will always stay by your side, even if you do kill him, but the thought of losing someone who I see as family… it kills me. It hurts my heart so much to think that I will no longer have Gon in my life… I will have lost a bother again… and it hurts so much…"

Hisoka's hand gently ghosted over my back as I pressed my forehead against his toned chest, trying to calm this deep sadness in my heart. The more I thought about it, the more the memories came back. Flashes from the past. Endless pain and torment whispering through my mind like a slithering voice that grabbed my heart in a vice grip and refused to let go.

It felt like I was falling, endlessly into my memories as if I had just been thrown into the past. So many things passed before my eyes… so many faces frozen in horror at the beast that looked down on them. I was scared and I was trapped. Trapped within my mind and screaming for a way out, but unable to find one no matter how hard I looked.

It wasn't until a moment had passed that I realized that I was actually screaming. I had been thrashing as I relived my memories from the past and I couldn't stop the screams tumbling from my throat the more lost I became in my mind. I couldn't see anything but the faces of my lost family and friends. I couldn't hear anything but my own screams, filling my head and lasting like an endless echo.

I was vaguely aware of my frantic gasps and whimpers as someone grabbed my trashing arms, pinning me down. It only made my voice rise in fear and volume as I thrashed, trying to get away from the horrible visions that plagued my mind and seemed to pull me into an endless pit of darkness, consuming me and throwing me into a sea of darkness.

~~~Hisoka P.O.V.~~~

I saw Kiame standing with her head pressed against the glass, her eyes were closed and I could feel the sadness rolling off of her in waves. I frowned slightly and walked forward, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame. To think that she was so small and so easy to break, yet under her tiny frame lay a demon that wants to break forth.

"You are sad… I can feel it. What upset you?" I asked lightly and she let out a soft sigh, almost sounding like a sob as she turned in my arms and pressed close to me. "I'm sad to think that Gon might die tomorrow… I will always stay by your side, even if you do kill him, but the thought of losing someone who I see as family… it kills me."

I frowned deeply as I felt her pain increase. It was like a pain of the heart, and though I knew it was not my own, it still bothered me for the fact that she felt it. "It hurts my heart so much to think that I will no longer have Gon in my life… I will have lost a bother again… and it hurts so much…" I gently ran my hand over her back, feeling the different sections of her spine under my fingers.

I felt her grip tighten on my shirt and I felt as if she was suddenly pulled into a frenzied panic. It was as if she was showing me her memories form the past once more, and it was hurting her to re-live them. I pulled back and tried to get her to open her eyes, to look up at me and pull out of those memories that upset her so greatly.

She seemed to fight against my grip and high-pitched whines and whimpers left her throat, soon turning into loud piercing shrieks of pain and fear. I could feel my own heart pick up in pace in response to her fear, and I knew I had to pull her out of these memories, lest she hurt herself. I grabbed her wrists and pinned her against my chest as she thrashed and screamed.

Her panic only seemed to rise even more as she wailed and screeched, turning this way and that to try and get away from her memories. The door opened with a loud bang and I glared towards whomever had the gall to enter, only to see that it was Gon and Killua. They seemed to be in a rage as they glared at me as if I were the one making Kiame feel this way.

"This does not require your attention. Get out." I hissed at them and Gon shook his head, his brown eyes wide with fear and determination. "N-No! We won't let you hurt her." I let out a soft hiss as she screeched and thrashed, kicking out randomly and pressing against me. "I'm not hurting her." I snarled at them. "She is reliving her memories and I can't get her back."

Her emotions and fear were making me angry. It angered me that I couldn't calm her and that she was so upset, and it angered me that those two dare suggest that I was hurting her. "H-Hisoka! Please… please help me!" He cried out and screeched as I pinned her to the bed trying to stop her from thrashing too much.

She slowly began to calm down as I held her there. Her breathing evened out and her eyes slowly opened, the fear leaving her and her heart slowly calming to a soft drum-roll in her chest. "Are you better now, my little toy?" I asked softly and her eyes slowly focused on me, her breathing soft as I let go of her wrists.

"H-Hisoka?" She asked softly and I nodded. "Yes?" She let out a broken whimper and wrapped her arms around me, pressing her forehead against my collarbone, clinging to me as if she were afraid that I would leave her. "Please… please don't…" She whimpered and I frowned, narrowing my eyes slightly. "Please don't what?"

"Please don't kill Gon… please… I can't… I can't live with something like that again!" I sighed and sat up, pulling her with me and glaring at Gon, the whole reason she was upset at the moment. "I'm not gonna kill him. He isn't strong enough for me to enjoy killing him. We're just going to fight." She nodded slowly, still holding tightly to me.

I frowned directly at the two who entered the room, tempted to throw a card at them and scare them out of the room, but Kiame would only become even more upset if I did that, so I let them stay. "Big sis…?" Gon asked softly and Kiame froze, her breath caught in her throat as she slowly pulled away to look at him.

"G-Gon… what are you doing here?" She sniffled and tried to get herself under control, obviously upset by the fact that she had broken down and that Gon and Killua had seen her during her break-down. "We heard you screaming and we thought something had happened to you…" Gon frowned deeply and I growled softly at them.

"They came in and demanded that I stop hurting you." Kiame looked over at me and then back at the two boys, sighing lightly. Her eyes were red and it was clear that she was drained by what she had just gone through. "I told you guys before… he can't hurt me… I just… got lost in the past." They nodded and Kiame looked back over at them, seeming upset.

"I'm okay… really… I just… need to talk with Hisoka for a bit." They nodded in understanding and walked out, closing the door behind them. Kiame let out a long sigh and pressed her forehead against my chest, her body going limp. "I hate it…" She said softly and I raised an eyebrow. "You hate what?" She frowned and pulled back, looking up at me with her blood-shot eyes. "I hate people seeing my weakness."

~~~Kiame P.O.V.~~~

I frowned deeply as I thought about the fact that I hated to show my weakness to anyone. I hated seeming weak because I had spent so long training to be strong. Hisoka rest his hand upon my head silently, not making any comment. We sat in silence for a long moment before I closed my eyes, resting my head against him again.

"Hisoka… am I weak?" I asked softly and I felt Hisoka stiffen slightly before he spoke. "No. You are my little toy and you are strong enough to take care of yourself." I felt relieved at his response, and it put my heart at ease slightly before he spoke again. "You are my little toy, and I will kill anyone who calls you weak. I don't keep weak toys."

I smiled and chuckled lightly, happy that he was acting his usual self even after my break down. "Hisoka, I love you." I said very softly, almost trying to not let him hear it. I didn't any things like this often, and I meant them when I said them. I heard a soft chuckle as Hisoka ran his fingers over my back. "I wouldn't marry you if I didn't."

I smiled. I know he didn't say 'love' and I know he probably wouldn't for a long time. It just wasn't his nature to say things like that, but I knew that he felt the way I did. I knew I could reveal my darkest secrets and he would take it in his stride. That's just how he was. He was my magician who performed tricks and made me smile. He was mine, and I was his.