I lay on my abdominal plates, the warm berth inside of Prowl's larger home was oddly comfortable. It had been roughly two human weeks since that encounter in medbay… since I'd found out that Blue and I no longer held a bond. That still hurt, and I really didn't want to think about it. Rolling onto my side I curled in on myself, wings flicking minutely.

Warnings crossed my vision, my tanks gurgling and twisting uncomfortably. I just couldn't force myself to intake energon. I always made it seem like I was taking some in for Prowl's sake, but I just... I couldn't do it. Something in me was so tired and done.

I knew what the Autobots would think about it if they knew, but no, I wasn't trying to offline myself. I was... am... so tired of living up to everyone's expectations. It felt like they wanted to see a happy smiling face, a bouncy femmeling who was roaring with energy. But I wasn't. I am Autumn. I was a human… now, I am an Autobot. I am...

I always repeated this mantra to myself, but after I got to the Autobot part I got lost. Who am I? What am I? What am I supposed to do now? Such philosophical questions for such an incompetent femme. I shuttered my optics against my inner voice. It had been going on a lot lately, but I was too scared to tell Prowl and even more terrified of telling Ratchet. So I just confined myself to my berth room, hoping that I could somehow handle it. But I was having a hard time.

Getting up with a soft huff; I snuck into Prowl's side of the quarter's. Opening his door, I peeked in nervously; he was on his back in recharge. Soft pillows supporting his wings so they wouldn't hurt him when he lay on his back struts. I bit my bottom lip nervously, I wanted to go in, to climb up into his berth, and recharge. However, I didn't think the SIC would appreciate that at all. His best friend, and secret lover in my opinion, Jazz might let me do that, but I wasn't positive about it.

Biting my lip plates harder I backed out of his room and walked into his 'living' room. Flopping down onto the couch with a heating blanket draped over me, I slowly fell into an uneasy recharge. I quietly curled in on myself and struggled to stay in recharge.

The uneasiness hanging over me kept waking me up. I just kept feeling like something was going to happen, and very soon. I was just so tired. The warnings came across my vision again.

Energon levels: Critical. Power levels at .09 percent. Obtain fuel immediately.

I rolled over; facing the couch I tried to ignore the signal that was flashing a bright red. Not even five minutes later; it flashed across my vision again, it didn't matter if my optics were open or closed. It would still flash in my vision.

Obtain Fuel.

Groaning, I rolled off of the couch and looked towards Prowl's berth room. The door remained closed for the most part. Sneaking over to the energon cupboard I grabbed a stool and climbed up on it. Prowl was a good dozen feet taller than I, so stools were a given whenever I was looking for something.

I looked over my wing nervously; he didn't appear at the creak of the cupboard opening. Nor the stool sliding across the floor. Reaching into the cabinet I pulled out an energon cube, he typically stashed these for quick fueling on days when he didn't have much time because of a surprise meeting and such.

"Autumn?" A smooth soft voice murmured behind me. I jumped with a soft gasp, optics widening as I dropped the cube and clumsily tumbled from the stool. I rolled up onto my feet I stared at the mess, at Prowl, the mess again, and then at my pedes. I knelt down and began picking up the glass like shards of the broken cube. Stammering out my apology as best as I could under the stress I was suddenly put under. Somehow... I just knew that I was in serious trouble.

"Sorry! I should have asked first, b-but... I didn't wanna wake you. And..." A warm servo gently settled over my own delicate ones. The servo was large and white, black and white armor attached to it... I looked up slowly from under my white chevron. Biting my lip plates.

Find Fuel Source Immediately. Power levels now at a critical .06 percent.

"I am not angry at you Autumn, it was just a cube of energon. Here." He stood up and grabbed a new one. The mech silently pulled me up to my pedes, his grip gentle and warm. He had me sit on the stool I had been climbing on. Then he handed me the cube and told me to intake my energon.

I obediently sat, guiltily watching, as my guardian, Second in Command Autobot Prowl, picked up my mess. His motions were quick and precise as he cleaned up the shards and then the energon.

"I'm sorry. Prowl... I'm really sorry." Suddenly, warm servos cupped my face and made me look up into his eternally mesmerizing blue optics. His normally stoic face was softer now. It seemed relaxed in a way I had never noticed before.

"I have told you not once, but twice. It is a simple mess. However, next time I ask that you ask me for something so that I may help you. Agreed?" I smiled shyly and sipped on my energon, wings tilted down shyly.

"Then... can... can I recharge with you tonight?" I asked nervously.

Prowl blinked and a faint smile touched his lip plates. He shook his helm and gently petted one of my door wings. "Considering I know that you will not recharge unless you do, yes. You may."

Prowl's POV

I was in recharge when my internal alarms alerted me of my berth room door opening. My wings picking up on the femmeling's spark signature and I sensed her emotions. Was she alright? She didn't seem injured, just very indecisive.

When she disappeared I slipped into a sort of twilight state for a bit until I heard the squealing of furniture and soft pedes on a chair. I knew that noise and I strongly disproved of the actions that I knew it to be derived from; the femmeling should not be climbing. Sitting up with a soft groan I walked silently out of my berth room and entered the 'kitchen' area. There in the shadows stood my charge, her soft teal armor with its white and black accents catching the lighting just right. She was standing on a chair gathering energon, a quick scan had me internally crying out in shock. She was close to dropping into stasis lock! But how? She always appeared to drink her energon, but then again the key word was appeared. Obviously she had not been doing so for reasons I couldn't begin to guess at.

"Autumn?" I murmured softly. Suddenly the small young femme gasped and dropped the cube; it shattered against the ground and sprayed glass and fuel everywhere. I wasn't worried about that though, I was more worried about the small delicate femme who had toppled from her stool.

I took a step forward, my wings rising up in concern and slight anger. Why hadn't she asked me for help? I would not have yelled; I would not have hit her. She quickly rolled up to her pedes. Soft aquamarine optics looking from the mess to me and to the mess again before she knelt down. A soft apology was stammered out in fear, and my spark clenched at her words.

"Sorry! I should have asked first, b-but... I didn't wanna wake you. And..." So that was the reason? I knelt down and gently covered her delicate little servos with one of my larger ones.

"I am not angry at you Autumn, it was just a cube of energon. Here." I stood up and grabbed a new one, forcing her to sit down and drink her fuel as I cleaned up the mess. I would have to talk to Ratchet about her starving herself. That was not an action I would condone. I began picking up the pieces quickly and putting them in the trash bin. Her soft little voice causing my spark to leap and clench again.

"I'm sorry. Prowl... I'm really sorry." I stood up and cupped her gently rounded cheek plates in my servos. My optics locking on hers so that I could make sure she understood my next words.

"I have told you not once, but twice. It is a simple mess. However, next time I ask that you ask for something so that I may help you. Yes?" Her delicate little wings flicked down shyly as she sipped some more on her cube. I waited patiently for her to speak; patience was clearly the only effective way to deal with her.

"Then... can... can I recharge with you tonight?" She asked me in a very nervous tone.

I blinked and a faint smile touched my lip plates. I shook my helm and gently stroked one of Autumn's tense door wings. "Considering that I know that you will not recharge unless you do, yes. You may." I murmured, slowly letting go of her face plates to make sure there were no shards left on the floor that might penetrate between armor plating. Trying to get debris from between muscle cables is a pain that I do not wish to deal with, nor do I want Autumn dealing with it. I turned and silently moved to my room and laid down on my berth, the piles of pillows cushioning my wings so that I could lay on my back.

I sighed and perked up at the sound of small pede steps. I quickly offlined my optics and pretended to be in recharge, not a moment later the little femme under my protection and care came scampering in and climbing up in the berth. I smiled, when I felt her curl up and rest her helm on my abdominal plating. The sound of her systems relaxing and her going into recharge was calming.

I onlined my optics to gaze down at the little femmeling with soft optics. She was so delicate and fragile, even though she was in an adult frame.

::Prowl.:: ~Ratchet

:What can I do for you, Ratchet.:: I replied, optics turning back up to the ceiling as I settled one of my servos on her helm. My digits gently caressing her chevron in a way my own carrier used to do to me.

::Can you send me scans of Autumn?:: ~Ratchet

I winced internally at his question. I knew for a fact that she was not doing well. She had not been taking in energon and she was in a very light recharge, apparently she wasn't slipping into a deep one. Obediently I scanned her and sent the data to Ratchet, not a moment later yelling and screaming was heard echoing down the halls. No doubt from a very angry medic.

Jazz POV

Glancing around, I quickly hacked Prowl's door and crept in. I thought I'd surprise Autumn by sneaking in and giving her some energon goodies I'd finagled. However, upon inspecting the officer housing unit I didn't see the little femme anywhere. The couch was empty, the carpets and kitchen spotless. Her berth room was mostly bare but had a few splashes of color beginning to take place.

I couldn't help but to grin seeing a plushy on her berth, picking it up my grin widened at the sight. It was a soft plushy of Prowler. Shaking my helm I gently set it down on her white pillows with pink fringes, her thermal blanket a soft pastel pink. The personality beginning to bloom in the room was spark warming to me, a sign that she might, just might, be getting better.

Slipping out of her room I walked to Prowl's, tilting my helm to listen. My sensitive audio horns picked up on two sets of soft cooling fans and a purring engine. Raising an optic ridge I opened the door silently and peaked in. Prowl's icy blue optics immediately met mine and I struggled not to laugh. His lap was full of a snuggling little femme, her wings twitching with her dream cycles. Autumn's helm was on Prowl's abdominal plating, her little frame draped across him diagonally. Effectively pinning his legs to the berth.

"Well ain't this just cute!" I whisper-yelled as well as quickly snapping a picture and storing it in my protected files for later. Prowl gave me a look and pinged my com link with a file.

"Not really." He murmured, voice holding a tense tone to it I didn't hear often. Cautiously opening the file I felt my spark drop.

Systems:

Energon: Depleted. Running on maximum capacity fume cycle.

Internal systems:

Wires: Burned and melted together at joint junctions.

Wings: Tension axles-ground down. Seek immediate medical care for replacement.

Recharge: Inadequate.

Staying half online through recharge protocol activation time period. Suggestion: Seek medical attention for override protocols.

I looked up at Prowl in shock. My mouth hanging open in horror. I knew Prowl wouldn't let her get like this if he knew, so he must have just found out too. She was starving herself and going without recharge?!

"Ratch' is gonna kill us." I spoke dryly, my spark pumping faster. Prowl nodded and glanced down at the little femme in his lap.

"He has informed me that he would like to see Autumn for a random check up." Prowl murmured. I shook my helm and sat down on the edge of the berth gingerly so as to not awaken the femmeling.

"We'll bring 'er in when she wakes. Right?" Prowl nodded and I relaxed. I really didn't wanna drag her out of her recharge, if you could even call it that. She needed what little she was getting, even if it was only the bare minimum.

Autumn POV

I was in a sort of twilight trance, which was how I always seemed to recharge, even as a human. It had just gotten worse as of recent; I always awoke feeling more tired than when I had gone to bed. I knew it wasn't normal but I couldn't bring myself to go to Ratchet, I just couldn't bother him. The older medic did enough as it was. Plus... well I didn't want him to hit me with anything.

The sound of voices was slowly lulling me out of the twilight state, but the hum of systems and warmth was keeping me just under the surface. Every time I felt myself getting closer to reality, a warm servo would begin to stroke my chevron; it was like getting a tranquilizer to the face plates. Immediately putting me back under the lull of serenity. The voices were distorted and far off; my body was feeling fuzzy and like it was moving on its own.

Suddenly panic bubbled up in my spark, my frame tensing as I jolted up. Confusion swelling over me, a mech was close to me. Two mechs were. My processors were scrambled and I couldn't seem to figure out what was going on. A voice inside of me was screaming they were a threat. Before I could actually run a pair of strong arms were wrapping around me. My wings pinned to a sleek chassis and a deep humming reverberated through me. Immediately I melted into the grip and came back to reality. Whatever that was, the anger and vengeful side getting ready to rip and tear, it scared me. I found myself staring into Jazz's face plates, his servos cupping my cheek plates as Prowl held me from behind. Both of them asking what happened.

I merely shook my helm. How could I tell them I had been about to try to kill them? Shivering I curled into Prowl, hiding my shamed face plates against his chassis. My spark was thrumming so fast I thought it might explode out of my chassis.

"Autumn?" A warm silky voice murmured. I glanced back at Prowl, his optics locked on my own with fiery intensity.

"Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine. Bad dream, it… it was just a dream." He gave me a skeptical look but didn't push the issue. None of the mechs ever did. At least they seemed to be very patient with me. Prowl gently stroked my wings to calm me down further. I relaxed back against him, avoiding optic contact. Jazz suddenly perked up, visor glowing brilliantly.

"Hey, Ratchet wants ta see ya lil lady." I flinched and coiled in on myself.

"I don't wanna see him!" Both mechs made a soft noise of reproach in the back of their vocal processors.

"You should not speak so rudely about or of him." Prowl admonished softly. I flinched again and lowered my wings. Scrambling from their laps I wrapped my arms around myself and chuffed softly.

"Fine. Let's go then." I muttered, not in the mood to get in trouble.

Ratchet POV

I was working in my medbay and waiting for Prowl to arrive with the femmeling. Searing rage was still echoing in my spark and bubbling through my lines. The femme was not only depriving herself of a proper recharge, but she was also starving herself. To say I was angry would be an understatement.

I continued to polish my wrench repeatedly, my systems humming with stress. The femme was suffering from severe processor instability, and was, as the humans would say, mentally ill. I couldn't punish her for doing this to herself, because I wasn't certain that it was intentional. It would be like beating a newly sparked petro puppy for chewing on your table leg. I internally grimaced and pinched the bridge of my nasal ridge. Great, now I am associating her with a petro puppy.

Suddenly my medbay doors opened to display Autumn, with Prowl and Jazz standing right behind her. She looked terrified, no doubt from the sudden growl that had left me. I sucked in a vent and forced myself to calm down.

"Autumn, I need you to sit down." The words left my vocals softly, the tone as soothing as I could force it. I watched the way she twitched nervously, twiddling with her digits.

Here I heard her sigh, Autumn's optics dimming minutely as she slumped in on herself. Frowning I strode forward to gently cup her jaw.

"Autumn, you are not here to be punished. Understood?" She nodded compliantly, a faint smile tugging at her lips when Jazz started making faces at her. They were comical enough that I almost started laughing.

"Jazz!"

"What?"

I rolled my optics as she giggled, all the nervousness seeping out of her. I tilted my helm curiously at that whilst Prowl simply smirked and shook his helm. Could any bot around here ever stay serious?

"I'm sorry Ratchet. I really am!" I looked into her optics and saw earnest intention, but also something else.

"Autumn, you can't continue starving yourself. If you continue to do this your frame will begin to cannibalize itself for nutrition to keep itself going. As for the recharge... I may need you to stay here for a few lunar cycles to study that myself." I watched the way she winced but shrunk down with a defeated look.

"I try Ratchet, but I can't recharge. I haven't been able for as long as I can remember." I frowned at that.

.:: So its not just since she became one o' us den?::. ~Jazz

.:: It would appear not Jazz. Ratchet, is there a solution to this?::. ~Prowl

I sighed softly and pinched the bridge of my olfactory receptor. There might be a solution; however that would require me going through and messing with her programming...

.:: I... might be able to fix this. I'd be able to do more if Perceptor was here. He knows more about coding than I do. ::. Being forced to admit that was hard, but the scientist understood how to manipulate coding much better than I on a good day... and that was with him nearly in recharge. Still, I'd see what I could do. With time that is.