Luck o' the Irish

By

Angelina

Of all the things Robin was expecting to see when he entered Mount Justice, a crestfallen Wally was not one of them.

"What's the matter KF, Megan refuse to go out with you again?"

"Very funny Rob, as a matter of fact, I am dating a smoking hot babe at the moment," Wally glowered at his best friend.

"Finally ask Artemis out?" joked the young acrobat.

"What!" spluttered Wally, "that's so not funny, dude."

Robin's cackles reached to the rafters of Mount Justice, but he stopped short with his merriment when he saw that Wally was still sulking. "Come on Wally, what's wrong?

"Well, you remember the crazy relatives that I told you about?"

Robin thought for moment, "Which ones? The beer drinking Germans on your uncle's side or the beer drinking Irish ones on you aunt's side?"

"The Irish ones."

"Yeah, I remember them, why?"

"Every year they have reunion and it's awful. Usually there's some mission in Central that keeps us from going, but this year Uncle Barry is making me go."

"Yeah, so? You can have a lot of fun at family reunions. I sometimes wish that I could go to one." Robin looked sad and Wally somewhat regretted bringing up the whole subject.

"Well, the reunion is at my other Uncle's Irish pub in a tiny pig farming town in West Virginia…"

"Oh." It suddenly clicked with Robin why Wally was not looking forward to this. "If it helps, I can come with you.

The speedster brightened up considerably. "Really!"

"Sure, I still owe you from that time you came over to keep me company when I had my tonsil's removed."

"You're the best!" Wally yelled, jumping up and nearly tackling his smaller friend to the ground with his fierce hug.

"What on earth did you get me into?" asked Robin, staring at the small pub as Wally parked his pick-up truck in the already crowded field next to it (Robin was surprised that he had such a car, he really would have figured on something sleeker and faster). They were in Dodge, a small town in West Virginia of about a thousand. Dodge consisted of a general store, a farmer's co-op, Molly's café, O'flanagan's Irish pub, and the only gas station for miles. It looked like the entire town had turned up for the reunion, and half of them seemed to be pig farmers.

"Ready to meet the in-laws?" Wally joked as they climbed the steps to the small looking pub.

Robin scowled at him, pushed his sunglasses farther up on his face, and braced himself. As the door swung open he was assaulted with a large, dimly lit room. The pub was crowded with an assortment of people, most talking loudly in either a country or an Irish accent. A small band was set up in one of the corners, playing a rousing jig to which half a dozen people were dancing to. Many people were scattered across the pub and at the bar, all drinking Guinness. Smoke from cigars and cigarettes obscured the scene and the scent of alcohol was heavy in the air.

"Well here goes nothing." Wally mumbled and stepped into the pub.

"Oh, there you are Wally!" his Uncle Barry called to him from a nearby pool table. "I was beginning to think you would never show!"

Wally didn't miss the underlying tone in his mentor's voice, but he just brushed it off with a lopsided grin.

However, no sooner had he turned to avoid his Uncle than his Great-Aunt May was all over him. "Oh Walter dear, it's so nice to see you!" She punctuated her words by pinching the speedster's cheeks, thoroughly embarrassing poor Wally.

"And who is this you brought?" Aunt May had moved on to pinching Robin's cheeks.

Wally had his face buried in his hands now, mumbling apologies out the side of his mouth to Robin. "That's Robin, Aunt May. He's a friend from, uhhhhh, 'afterschool activities.'"

"That's so sweet, Walter. But isn't it about time you got a nice girlfriend or something?" she asked loudly. "This one's kinda scrawny."

Wally blushed profusely and stuttered out some superspeed babble that no one could understand. He quickly grabbed Robin, bid a hasty goodbye to Great Aunt May, and began retreating to an unoccupied corner of the pub.

As soon as Robin got over his embarrassment he turned to survey the chaotic reunion again. "So what exactly do you do at these things?"

"Well since I'm not of legal drinking age, and Uncle Barry would kill me if I got drunk," Wally added underneath his breath. "I usually just sit and watch, it can be pretty asterous." The speedster waggled his eyebrows at his best friend and the younger boy burst out laughing. Their laughter, however, was cut short by a swinging umbrella.

"You bloody wanker! Bugger off!" A large, burly man swayed into Robin's path, knocking him to the ground. The drunken man clutched a bottle of Guinness in one hand and a frilly pink umbrella in the other. He was swinging the umbrella like a sword as he attempted to swat people out of his way.

"I thought your family was Irish?" Robin eyed the burly man distastefully as Wally helped him up and continued pulling him to an empty booth in the corner.

"They are. Patrick swears like an Englishman when he's drunk. None of us have figured out why yet."

"Oh." Robin was lost, at the most he had only ever met his Aunt Harriet and large, boisterous families like this were foreign to him.

The two best-friends finally shoved their way to an empty booth and sat down, shoving the remainders of someone's bangers and mash aside.

"Ethel! Put your clothes back on!" someone shouted from the booth behind them and Robin quickly turned around to see an elderly gentleman yelling at the empty seat beside him.

"Don't mind Uncle Ernie, whenever he gets drunk he sees his wife Ethel," Wally waved dismissively when Robin looks at him quizzically.

"How long ago did she die?" Robin remembered an older clown from his circus days who saw his dead wife when he drank too much.

"He was never married."

"Wally, you have a weird family."

"Don't I know it," Wally groaned as Patrick stumbled by again with his umbrella swinging wildly from his wrist, swearing loudly at no one in particular.

"Hey, Lydia!" Wally hollered to a serving girl.

"Wally!" Lydia shrieked, dashing over to his booth to throw her arms around him. "I haven't seen you in, like, forever!"

"Great to see you too," Wally gasped out as Lydia's arms began strangling him.

Lydia released him and turned her attention to Robin, who had been trying to shrink farther into his seat at the hopes of being unnoticed. "Who is this cutey?"

Robin blushed profusely before sticking his hand out politely. "I'm Robin, Wally's best friend."

Lydia ignored his hand and hugged him fiercely as well, only letting go when Wally noted that Robin was turning purple.

"Like, can I get you anything to eat?" Lydia inquired, straightening out her waitress apron.

"I'll have a half-pound hamburger, extra-large fries, and a jumbo chocolate milkshake," Wally counted his order off on his fingers.

"You sure you don't want to like try something like different? We got some pretty awesome fish and chips or bangers and mash!"

Wally made a face that Robin couldn't help but laugh at.

"What'll it be for you?"

"I'll just have water, thank you," Robin answered politely.

"Like okey dokey, I'll have your orders out in like a bit." Lydia bustled off, expertly ducking under Patrick's umbrella as the burly man wandered back to the bar for more beer.

"She doesn't sound Irish," Robin commented after Lydia was back in the kitchens.

"That's because she's from California. My Uncle hired her to work at the pub when she came back east to help out her grandparents," Wally explained.

Lydia brought out Wally's food and Robin's drink and the two lapsed into silence, watching the goings on of the reunion.

The band had struck up a series of reels and the group of dancers was rapidly growing. Patrick was off in a corner downing beer, prodding passersby with his ever-present umbrella, and scowling at all. Great Aunt May had her skirts hiked and was dancing along with the reel, the fat on her thighs and arms jiggling in time with the music. Uncle Ernie was over at the 50's style jukebox, which was very out of place in an Irish pub, talking to Ethel about the first song they ever danced to.

On the opposite side of the room, a sugar drunk Uncle Barry was engaged in a heated game of pool that ended abruptly when some broke a pool-stick over his head. Over in the other corner, someone broke a bottle of Guinness over the jukebox when they found that the darn thing didn't play Irish music. An all-out brawl quickly ensued with the band playing a rousing jig in the background as some bystanders egged on the rapidly growing group of fighters.

Lydia was shrieking her head off for someone to do something, but her only response was the pub owner joining in with gusto.

Uncle Barry was suckered into it as well after his defense of his beloved Irish ended in him getting hit in the face with Patrick's umbrella.

Off in the corner, Great Aunt May fainted and the band finally screeched to a halt as they either joined in on the fight or rushed over to move Aunt May out of the way of the fighters, they did not want anything impeding another epic brawl.

Wally shrank back into his booth until only the tips of his redder-than-red ears and top of his fiery orange head could be seen. Robin cocked his eyebrow at his friend before flicking a man between the eyes as he was thrown onto their table.

The fight would have gone on for a good while longer had it not been for the Sheriff, who was part of the family and already in attendance, pulling out his rifle and shooting the twenty-second hole in the ceiling. By now, Wally was nowhere to be seen as he had completely shrunk underneath the table from embarrassment.

Slowly the band started to play again, someone bought the Sheriff another round of Guinness, a trio of equally drunk men approached Robin's booth to haul off their unconscious friend, Wally finally returned to his seat, and all began to return to normal

"Let's get out of here. I know this great little ice cream joint a few towns over that's open 'til midnight." Wally suggested after everything was calm again.

"Sure, your relatives are so drunk, or unconscious," Robin added underneath his breath, "that they probably won't notice."

So the two friends paid for their meal and snuck out to Wally pick-up where the quickly hopped in and got out of Dodge as fast as they could.

After they were safely across the town line the young acrobat turned to his best friend, a smirk plastered across his features. "Well, now I know where you get it all from."

A/N This was a fill for CK4eva's (and anyone else who requested Dick and Wally bonding/fluff) request: Wally and Dick brother bonding. Hopefully this works. CK4eva, I hope you liked this :D

Yeah this was a lot funnier in my head…

This story is based off of the reunion that my family has every year, minus the fighting. My mother is a first generation American who is originally from Scotland. My father's grandparents came over from Ireland during the Industrial Revolution and settled in Virginia and West Virginia. Anyway, my father's side has a reunion every year at my Uncle's Irish pub, and it usually gets out of hand.

And I swore in British, I do apologize… For some reason swearing in British is rather funny, now I just need to learn a few Finnish swear words and nobody will ever know what I'm calling them. Oh dear, I think I need to stop typing these things while I'm behind…