All outfits mentioned in this fic are available in the album Written on my facebook Steffie Dawn xx

Monday 29th April 2013

We're literally in and out of Doctor Greene's office. With the home pregnancy test having said only two weeks she says we couldn't see anything even with an internal ultrasound so she does the blood test and says she'll let us know by phone in the next couple of days. That's just great, more waiting! I hate waiting, I want to know if I am, how far along, everything!

Taylor drops me off at Starbucks not far from Doctor Flynn's office where I'm meeting Sandra before taking Christian on to see Doctor Flynn, we're getting our own personal shit out of the way this morning to dedicate this afternoon to our baby girl who is having an attention filled week.

"Hey Ana." She smiles as soon as I walk in, I guess she was waiting for me by the door.

"Hey what are you having?" I ask her and she smiles and walks with me to order.

I get Sandra and me both a decaff latte before we find a quiet booth towards the back of the place together. She eyes me sceptically as I sit down opposite her and I know she's wondering what this impromptu meeting is about.

"So how was London?" She asks deciding to go easy on me to start.

"It was good, I really enjoyed myself. It was hectic all the time but I got everything I need to do done and it was nice to just be there." I reply with a smile, I think I'm always going to have fond memories of this last week.

"So what's this about?" She asks making a hand motion to signal this meeting of ours.

"I have some issues that cropped up a lot in London, other small things I guess I just need to talk about." I say hoping she'll decide where to go first.

"Issues?"

"Yeah, my… my self-confidence was bought up a lot in the past week." I say as Sandra snorts. "What?" I say half laughing and half confused.

"Self-confidence? Ana before coming here to meet you I watched your Britain's Got Talent thing on YouTube, you have no self-confidence issues when you can rock an audience like that, it took me a few minutes to believe it was really you!" She says.

"That's my point, on stage Sandra I take on this persona, this other person and when I finish and the adrenaline wears off I'm shocked and sometimes horrified at what I've done and I don't believe it was as good as everyone is making it out to be." I say running my finger awkwardly around my mug, my eyes looking into my drink rather than at the shrink.

"Ok if it's something you really want to address then leave it with me and I'll look into our options is that ok?"

"Yeah, thanks Sandra." I smile weakly, I know if anyone can help me it will be her!

"Now what else do you want to discuss?"

"There's a couple of things actually." I reply and she nods encouraging me to continue. "Everything I tell you is confidential right?"

"Not only does it come under doctor-patient privilege Ana I've also signed an NDA, yes everything is confidential."

"Well… I'm pregnant again."

"Congratulations." She smiles and I smile back. "I'm guessing it's good news."

"Yes… well I only had the blood test this morning but if morning sickness and a home test is anything to go by then Grey Heir number two is on its way." I smile wider, I really am happy to be pregnant again even if the timing isn't perfect.

"So what's bothering you so much about the pregnancy?"

"The mixed emotions I have. A part of me is worried that I'll have to put a lot of things back that I'm aiming to do such as the New York Marathon in November but then another part of me is almost ready to up and quit everything and just focus on being a Mom though I know a couple of weeks into that and I'd be pulling my hair out."

"I think what's important Ana is for you to work on finding the right balance. I know that your career is important to you, everything you do is important to you even if your focus goes from one thing to the next you still care about everything like your businesses and your books even though your focus lately has been on singing." I nod along in agreement, I always keep up to date with my books through Hope Hewitt and with the businesses via emails from Wendy but yes my focus has all been on the singing.

"Lastly, I turned down the biggest offer I will probably ever get as a singer, or in any time in my life which had a direct consequence on Christian's business."

"What was that?" Sandra asked visibly intrigued.

"I turned down an offer to sign a two point five million dollar contract with Simon Cowell's company which made Christian decide not to sell Grey Records to him."

"Ok so did he decide not to sell because you wouldn't sign?"

"Yes. When I told him about the offer he said that I should take it because he'd had an offer made on Grey records by SyCo and the only reason he was not going to sell was because of my career with Simon wanting to sign me then it was a win-win scenario I would still have a recording contract and Christian could sell the company he was only keeping because of me. When I found out I was pregnant the morning after I told Christian that I didn't want to sign with SyCo and he decided not to sell. I encouraged him too but he said if he sold and I didn't sign I would have no singing career and he wanted me to have one if I wanted one so I agreed with him to not sell the company. He's ready next week to start interviewing some management team and a board for Grey records so he can let go of all the handling of it and they can sign a few more artists and expand the brand. Anyway that's not the point. I don't know why the hell I turned down a two point five million dollar contract with the biggest record company is, SyCo and Sony music were going to sign me and I said no! I must be insane because people dream of these stuff."

"By staying with Grey Records what does that mean to your career as a singer Ana?"

"It means that I can do what I want to do which is sing, release my album work on my own stuff and do it all in my own time, no deadlines, no pressure."

"Does that appeal to you?"

"It's perfect for me, it means whenever I want to take a break I can, I can spend more time with my daughter and baby number two when he or she gets here."

"How do you think your life would be affected if you signed with SyCo?"

"I think I would have to travel a lot more, I would be pressured into everything, I wouldn't be able to take a break whenever I felt like it, I would have deadlines and chances were they wouldn't give my writing a second look. I'd have no say over anything."

"So can you see now why you made the decision you did?"

This woman has talked me around in circles and gotten me to the conclusion that I needed. I smile and nod at her as she sips her drink. It makes complete sense now to me, I understand exactly why I did what I did and I have no regrets either, Christian did right by me while in a big sense I did right by him and our family. I get to still do my album and work on music but at the same time I get to stay in Seattle and be a Mom and a wife.

I meet Christian and Taylor in the SUV and Christian is sat thumbing through some files.

"What are all those?" I ask being nosey.

"Oh background checks on the parents we'll meet today."

"You didn't? Already? Fuck Christian it's a baby play group! Can't we go in there and just meet people and judge them for ourselves?"

"I want to make sure our child isn't going to be near anyone dangerous Ana." He scowls as if my request is completely ludicrous.

"Christian what are the chances that one of the parents is going to be a fucking criminal?"

"High actually, I've already found four but Oreon, Taylor and Luke is going to be with us so we'll be ok, they'll keep an eye out on the bad ones and we can focus on our daughter.

"No way are we taking three big burly men into that place with us Christian you're being unreasonable, why don't we bring Carrie and Gail along? They can keep an eye out while we play with India and you can ask Taylor kindly to find a couple of female security to add to the team on a part time basis for events such as these?" I reply hoping I'm making a reasonable request. He sighs and runs his hands through his hair before closing his eyes and nodding. My guess is he's just counted to ten very slowly and he's angry with me. "Good, see I can be reasonable."

"I know. I just want us to be able to go there today Ana and feel safe, not have to worry about the parents who may be drug dealers or addicts or possible sex offenders."

"I know baby, I understand that but let's strive for some normality huh?" I say running my fingers through his hair. He leans in and kisses me just as we pull up outside the house.

"Oh just so you know after dinner Mom and Dad are picking up India and you and I have a date with Escala." He whispers before jumping out the car leaving me already panting.

Both Christian and I dress comfortably, him in a grey v neck t-shirt with jeans and sneakers and me in bootcut jeans, a tight tucked in black tee and the white Saint Laurent sneakers I bought on tour for comfort. We choose India's outfit together and make a fuss of dressing her in the Oscar De la renta garden romper with one of Great-Grandma Trevelyan's cardigans and her yellow glittery TOMS slip ons.

For once we look like a regular family and not a bunch of celebrities. Ok, yes I admit all our clothes are designer but if you didn't know designers you wouldn't know and after a light lunch we get to leave.

Christian pulls up the car outside the community centre in his new car that arrived when we were in London which is an Audi S8 in a dark silver. It's lovely as it holds the three of us comfortably and after a re-think Christian decided just, him, India and I would be fine though I knew it was taking a lot for him to decide that and not have us have a security fleet. Maybe one female on the team wouldn't be a bad idea for this situation, I would be far more comfortable if we had just the one with us.

I gather India from the back of the car as Christian sorts out getting the diaper bag that has everything we could possibly need in it. Even though the playgroup only runs for a couple of hours one of the book's Grace gave me warned to be prepared for everything even shocking weather and unexpected travel delays so in India's bag is four bottles of formula one of cow's milk juice in a bottle and a spare beaker and two glass jars of food and about ten diapers, wipes, books, toys, blankets and four spare pacifiers.

I hoist India onto my hip as Christian presses his hand to my lower back. The building is in a good part of town and so I don't know what he's worried about but I know he hates having not got security with us but I'm grateful with him backing down, I don't know what that's doing to him inside but it's made me happy.

"Hello you must be new. My name is Gwen Richards." The mother with the register smiles as we walk in through the doors.

"Hi I'm Ana, this is Christian and our daughter India." I smile, her eyes hadn't left Christian until I said my name then she turned to me and gawped… oh no… a fan…

"Oh uh hello." She stutters. "If you just want to sign the register and you can go straight through most of the parents with children under two are in the soft playroom to the back of the hall and the door on the left." She says quickly as Christian signs us in.

"Thanks Gwen." He says giving her a panty dropping smile before he escorts us away.

"I hope that doesn't happen again." I mutter and Christian laughs softly before stroking my back, yeah I think he agrees.

We enter the soft playroom and find a smaller room than the hall we walked with filled with lots of soft furniture and toys, including a large play set all padded with a ball pool and a slide. It looks like a fun place for a kid.

"Hi I'm Maya, you're both new right?" A dark skinned woman with pin straight black hair asks with a smile on her face.

"Yes, I'm Ana this is Christian and our daughter India."

"Pleasure to meet you both." She smiles, if she recognises us then she hasn't given a hint that she does. "That's my son Kai over there." She says pointing to a little boy trying to crawl up the slide, he has lighter skin than hers and very curly black hair, he's so cute.

"He's adorable." I say with a smile as I turn back to Maya.

"Oh they are at this age." She laughs. "It's when they turn two and up that they're not so cute more like terrible." She chuckles. "If you want my advice on getting India settled to play put her down and let her go, they're very inquisitive at this age and she'll go from one bright thing to the next. Oh and I wouldn't let her play with her own toys, other kids try to take them and it causes tantrums and lots of crying." Maya smiles and I nod and look at Christian, a part of me doesn't want to put her down but he gives me and encouraging nod and I gently put her to sit on the floor.

I lean into Christian as we watch her looking around at all the big bright colours, everything is red, green, yellow or blue and I know her curious little mind doesn't know where to begin.

Eventually she crawls over to the ball pool and Christian and I both relax ready to just watch her play.

"Your only child?" Maya asks as she watches Kai from beside us, we're yet to sit down as I think both Christian and I are on edge in case something happens or India isn't happy in some way.

"Yeah." I nod and she smiles and her eyes meet mine for just the moment.

"I have one older daughter, she's through the other room doing arts and crafts. I'll take Kai in there after and try and get him to do some gluing, he loves getting messy and I like letting him get messy here. I don't have to worry as much about him ruining the furniture!" She chuckles and I love the idea of doing arts and crafts with India. "Oh look at that!" She says with a child voice on. "Is this her first time interacting with other children?"

"Yes." I nod choked up as India has caught up with Kai at the bottom of the slide and she tries to pass him a ball only for him not quite grasp it and it to roll down back into the pit making Kai and India both giggle. Their laughter fills the air and I lean my head on Christian's side as he wraps an arm on my shoulder. That's our daughter's first ever interaction with someone near her own age.

"How old is Kai?" Christian asks, his voice domineering and I want to hit him for it.

"Nine months old. And India?"

"Seven months now." I reply softly nudging Christian with my elbow hoping he'll get my hint just as Kai throws a ball and it hit India in the head and bounce off.

I see Christian ready to pounce but I grab his hand to hold him back. India looks completely shell shocked for a moment before she laughs loudly and I feel Christian relax beside me.

"Would you like some juice?" Maya asks looking from Christian to I. "It's not great stuff but it's nice to sit with a drink to watch the kids play."

"Sure thank you." I reply on both our behalf as Christian is too busy watching India with Kai.

"I don't like he near older boys." He says as soon as Maya is out of ear shot and I cannot contain the snort I let out.

"Christian he's a nine month old little boy what is the worst he's going to do?" I ask watching the two together just as Kai leans in and clasps India's cheeks in his hands and gives her a sloppy kiss.

"Fucking that!" Christian says a little too loudly earning glares from nearby parents. I elbow him in the ribs in warning.

"Don't swear Christian." I growl. "Kai is at the age where he is learning how to give affection, kids don't understand that kissing near strangers is totally unacceptable, his kissing India is him showing affection just as I would hug Kate or your Mom, he is too young to know." I explain as India reaches out with a scowl on her face and runs her hands through Kai's hair, he seems content in letting her. "India is at the age where she's intrigued by other people, she's always going to be touching people too and in a couple of months she'll be content in kissing strangers."

He doesn't look happy and continues to scowl as Maya comes back with a glass of orange each for us.

"Oh that's just sweet." She smiles when Kai kisses India again, I hear a growl from Christian and I chuckle.

"I think Daddy's jealous." I say making Maya laugh.

"Don't worry Daddy you'll be the only man in her life for some time. Why don't we sit?"

We join Maya at the bench against the wall watching India as she plays with Kai. It's amazing to see her interacting so well with someone so soon. He's a little bigger and burlier than her and as the climb out of the ball pool it looks like he's encouraging her out when she falls right onto her head.

Her scream pierces the air and both Christian and I are on our feet in a heart beat. Maya is quickly collecting Kai as Christian scoops India into his arms. She's bawling loudly, her cheeks red and tears streaming down them.

"This place is dangerous." Christian hisses at me and I roll my eyes angrily as he tries to soothe India who is just screaming loudly.

"Christian it was an accident, she fell, she's going to fall a lot for a long time until she's steady on her feet and if she's anything like me that's never." I say going into the diaper bag and recovering a pacifier. "Here you go baby girl." I say popping it in her mouth. She reaches out for me and I take her from Christian allowing her to cling to my shirt and shove her face in the crook of my neck.

"I'm so sorry." Maya says as she holds Kai on her hip.

"It was an accident, it looked like he was trying to help her out not push her." I say chuckling as she looks relaxed at my notion, I think she was worried that we thought her child had purposely hurt ours.

"We're going to go through and do some arts and crafts now I think he's had enough play time and it's winding down time. They do a story in half an hour."

"Www now that sounds like a pastime for Mommy." I say in a baby voice to a calming India. "Should we go do some arts and crafts?" I ask Christian and he nods, I think he's relieved to be leaving the soft play that he's trying to do a safety assessment of in his head.

We arrive another small room where children and parents of all ages are gathered around tiny tables. All the kids nearly are standing or sitting on their parents lap as the parents sit on the floor.

Christian and I find a space with Maya and we begin getting paper and stuff. There's a theme each week and this week's theme is animals.

"Christian would you mind getting some aprons from the roll just there?" Maya asks as she rolls Kai's sleeves up and then I see the big paint brushes and trays of poster paint and I realise things are about to get messy.

Christian collects plastic white aprons for us all and he put's mine on as I put India's on hoping not to ruin her little playsuit, it would be a shame as it's lovely and it's the first time she's wearing it.

I pass India a big paint brush and show her what to do while Christian begins his own painting which makes me chuckle, he smiles his boyish smile at me and while I'm momentarily distracted India's put her hand right in the red paint.

I take her hand while giggling and place it on the paper to make her handprint and she giggles happily so I do a second. I think she gets the idea as she drops her left hand into the blue paint and I quickly get another hand print before letting her do her own thing.

"I guess someone is going to need a bath tonight." Christian comments as he paints a big red love heart and I murmur an agreement.

"The paint is non-toxic." Maya says when I stop India putting her hand in her mouth. "So if she gets some in her mouth it won't be harmful and she'll see it doesn't taste nice and not do it again for a while."

"Ok." I nod guessing she experienced it with Kai before.

India and Kai between them get paint everywhere. I get a perfect horrible green from the mix of paint handprint on my cheek where India feels my face up as she often does and Christian even gets some too.

Our clothes thankfully are saved by the aprons but India has gotten paint everywhere, all over her face and hair and up her arms, it's quite funny and I can't resist snapping a photo of her on my phone to print later.

Christian gets the job of cleaning India up at the big metal sinks while I get the job of tidying up the table, hanging the pictures up to dry, India thankfully hasn't completely covered her hand prints with paint so I look forward to writing her name and age with marker pen and hanging it up somewhere in the house where it can be admired.

When Christian and Maya return with both kids cleaner than they were we remove our aprons and head out to the hall were beanbags have been set up and Gwen is sat in one facing some of the older kids. Christian snags a bean bag beside Maya and I sit between his legs with India on my lap. He kisses my head and I hear him sniggering and I frown turning to him.

"You have paint in your hair." He says and I giggle.

"So do you." I laugh and he laughs too, this is so nice.

Gwen reads Mrs Brown can moo can you? by Dr Seuss and by the end of it India is happily sleeping in my lap. I guess the events have completely exhausted her and it is time for her nap anyhow.

I exchange phone numbers with Maya before we leave and we make a brief plan to meet the coming week with the kids to do something and apparently I'll get to meet her four year old who I just get a glimpse of running by at one point.

"Hmm why don't we go out for dinner?" Christian asks as he puts a snoozing India into her car seat.

"I think that would be good and I know just the place." I grin while he eyes me sceptically. "Can I drive?" He scowls but then eventually passes me the keys and I grin because I get to drive his new car without a fight.

I drive us to Razzis Pizza in north Seattle, a place I've driven by many times but never visited. Christian eyes me sceptically but says nothing and climbs out of the car.

India wakes as we pull her out of the car and she happily snuggles against Christian's shoulder as we head inside the restaurant.

The place has an instant family feel about it. Many families with their kids are all sitting around tables, some kids being told off other's running around a little we're shown to a nice booth and they let us know they'll bring a high chair over for India.

Once we're all seated comfortably they let me know they'd be happy to warm up some baby food with our meal and just to hand it over with our order so it will be brought out with our food.

Christian and I decide to share some mozzarella sticks and bbq wings to start, I loved bbq wings when I was touring, it was my little guilty pleasure but I haven't had any since being home so today it's a real treat.

Christian for his main orders a Chicken calzone which has chicken red onion and roasted red peppers and I go for the white garlic chicken pizza which comes with grilled chicken, red onions, roasted red peppers, mushrooms, parmesan, mozzarella, with Alfredo sauce instead of tomato pizza sauce.

Me with probably eyes bigger than my stomach I order dessert of New York cheesecake while Christian declines.

"Today has been nice." He smiles holding my hand across the table, India is happy enough with a set of rattle keys.

"Yeah it has hasn't it?" I grin. "We've had a normal day today, errands this morning then family time."

"Yeah but tonight, you and me have a date with Escala."

"Hmm I'm looking forward to it." I grin as I feel my panties begin to moisten, damn all he has to do is mention the playroom and I'm in need of him.

Our waiter comes back with our drinks which is a pink lemonade for me with a slice of lemon and ice and a corona with lime for Christian. I eye his beer and he smirks at me while I try to act nonchalant.

"Try it." He says after a long sip and I grin and take a tiny sip, just enough to get a taste before handing him back.

"Ugh." I say running my teeth along my tongue.

"Not for everyone." He chuckles while I sip my own drink.

When our starts arrive we're double checked that we want India's food out with our main. She's content in nibbling on a breadstick for the moment and so it will be nice to eat our starters in peace.

The food is lovely, not the best bbq wings I've had but definitely not the first and as with all foods India eyes up what we have so Christian and I take it in turns giving her a taste of the sauce from our fingers. Turns out she loves BBQ chicken wings as much as her Mom, greedily sucking our fingers of the sauce before moaning when there's no more.

She's not a fan of Mozzarella which does surprise me as both Christian and I enjoy it but I guess she will develop her own taste in food and maybe she turns her nose up at it now but will like it next week, who knows with babies this young.

While we eat our main I feed India while discussing what we plan to do for the next week. We've decided that tomorrow we're finally taking India swimming to a public pool and are going to find a course where babies this young can learn how to survive a little longer if they were to fall into water, Christian's not too happy but he agrees with me it's important and it would give us both peace of mind to know that India can hold her breath and float on her back giving us vital seconds to rescue her if she was to fall into our swimming pool or the sound.

We also agree it's time to introduce India to music, see if there's any instrument that she seems to be natural with, well Christian decides that, he has already decided that India and our second child will study one form of martial arts, one language and one instrument at the minimum just as he had to with the Grey's, I can't see a down side though I do remember him telling me Mia stomped her foot when it came to learning a martial art and I wonder if any of our kids would do to.

"Maybe if India does French I could do it with her." I say musing.

"Really?"

"Yeah I mean then all three of us could speak French, I did some in school I can say hello and introduce myself, say my age ask how someone is and say how I am count to twenty and I remember some of the colours."

"Ok, you could learnt to, that's a great idea Ana." Christian grins. "Then we'll have to go to France more often, for adults it's easier to learn the language by practising it."

"Sure."

"Maybe we could go back to France on holiday this year."

"That would be nice." I grin. "Maybe soon so I'm not walking around Paris like a beached whale." I say giggling.

"You could never look like a beached whale." He says. "You were stunning carrying India."

"Even at nine months when I couldn't stand on my own and couldn't see my feet?"

"Even then." He grins and I chuckle, he knows all the right things to say.

"So tomorrow afternoon we'll go and buy some toy instruments and make music all afternoon?"

"Sounds like fun." He chuckles. "I wonder how many times we'll sing nursery rhymes to her tomorrow afternoon."

We also discuss India's cruising. We're both hoping to work on her walking this week and have the video camera at the ready. It would be perfect for her to do it for us this week while we're home all week and we're desperate to see her getting to that milestone of taking her first stumble steps. I just hope she's not as clumsy as me, I didn't walk till I was well past one and Christian has no idea when he began walking.

Christian is concerned about someone accidentally leaving the baby gates on the stairs open and we agree that it's definitely an issue. A google search on his phone and he decides that this week also India is going to learn to crawl up and down the stairs with us making sure she can't fall and hurt herself. Hopefully it will be enough to help her should she ever get curious while the gate has been left open and minimise the chance of her falling and hurting herself.

"We should go shopping for bikes." Christian says and I look at him surprised. "You know we could take the bikes to the park, ride Elliot's bike trail and have a cart or chair for India, good way of getting fresh air and having some fun."

"You've spent a lot of time looking into this haven't you." I smirk and he laughs softly.

"Yeah, I want us to enjoy this week as much as we can before we go back to work."

"I don't think I'm going back straight away." I say quietly and he looks at me waiting for an explanation. "I think I'll work from home maybe, be with India then when she's down for her nap then I can work on the animal hospital books and arrange another fundraiser for the charity."

"If that's what you want to do baby you do that." He says making me smile, I knew he would support me, I also know if he could he would stop me working all together but that's never going to happen. "Ana are you worried about having another baby?"

"I'm worried how we'll manage it with both of us working all the time. I already feel like I haven't been there for India enough and now we're about to have another child, India will be sixteen months old approximately when this child comes Christian, she'll be at a crucial age and we'll have a newborn to look after… I'm worried how I'll cope…"

"You won't be on your own, I'll take more time off this time."

"That's not what I mean, my body was so exhausted after giving birth to India. I just wanted to sleep all time and I felt horrible and I know it was the baby blues but I'm worried how it will affect India when we have a second baby to look after who will be screaming for attention approximately every three hours. We had it easy with India, she went into a natural routine without an issue but what if this baby doesn't like routine?"

"Ok now isn't the time to worry about that Ana, now is the time to enjoy the first trimester, something we didn't get to do with India because we didn't know about the pregnancy." He says giving me a small smile, both of us missing India grabbing the food filled spoon I was holding in mid-air.

"Definitely going to need a bath tonight." I say as she sucks on her hand.

"So what else should we do this week?" Christian asks as I go between taking a bite of pizza to feeding impatient India.

"You know we don't have to plan everything down to the most minute detail baby, we could just wake up on Thursday see it's sunny and decide to drive somewhere. Hey maybe we can go pick up Bob and go visit Ray see how the wedding planning is going and the plans for the move to Seattle?"

"Yeah ok, maybe I'll take the men fishing leaving you and Marge and India to talk about that stuff though." He says causing me to poke my tongue out at him. "I'll bite that later." He winks.

After getting home Christian and I get India bathed together and into her pyjamas just in time for Grace and Carrick to pick her up, she briefly questions me about the nausea and I tell her it must have just been the nightmare and thankfully she leaves it at that. I can't imagine her finding out now I was pregnant not when I'm barely gone a couple of weeks.

Once they've gone we both climb into the R8 which Christian informs me he is debating selling and I agree that maybe one of my sports cars should be put to sale too, he recommends keeping the sports car and getting rid of the Yaris… damn he hates my little car!

Arriving at Escala one look from my darling husband has me going upstairs and stripping down to my panties. I'm glad I changed into a tiny pink thong before leaving home. I kneel in my spot by the door and cast a quick glance around the playroom, nothing has changed since the last time I was here and as my eyes fall on the table he used to spank my sex my insides clench hungrily.

When the door opens my head is bowed and my breathing has relaxed more. I can't wait to play though I do have a feeling I am in for some serious punishment too for what happened on Britain's Got Talent with the outfit. My mind has been replaying that over and over and I have decided that whenever I perform live I'm going to have some sex appeal, maybe not quite the wet look catsuit but definitely pouty lips, rocking heels and lots of makeup. I looked good, I liked the reflection looking back at me in the mirror.

He gets behind me and braids my hair without a word, it takes him longer than ever with my hair having grown considerably since the last time we were here but when he tugs it and breaths in my neck I feel the wetness pool inside my tiny thong.

"Oh Ana, Ana, Ana." He says, his voice vibrating against the pulse on my neck making my whole body quiver in delight. "What am I to do with you?" He murmurs before biting on my ear. "I know just what naughty girls like you need Anastasia. Punishment." I clench, mixed with excitement and nervousness. "I think we'll start with the new table. Now go over and stand beside it, imagine yourself lying there, legs tied to the poles, your pussy with six clamps holding them open to me, rope tied around your breasts tight. Now." He growls.

I dive towards the table and quickly do as he says. I hear him behind me rummaging through the drawers and I tingle with excitement. When he comes back he quietly lays the toys out on the table in front of me. I don't think we've ever used this many in one session. Without a word he lifts up the bar gag and automatically I open my mouth so he can put it in. He then picks up some rope and lifts my arms to the side of me like a scarecrow before he proceeds in wrapping up my breasts.

I've seen images in my research when writing fifty shades of women's breasts purple from how tight they've been bound. Christian does wrap them tight but not horribly so that they instantly turn purple.

"Bend over hands on table." He orders and I can hear it in his voice that he's in full on Dom mode.

I quickly do as he ordered and watch through the corner of my eye as he picks up a weird looking black object with twists in it along with a bottle of lube.

"This is a corkscrew dildo Ana." He says and I hear him uncapping the lubricant. "And I'm using it as a butt plug."

The small rosebud of my behind clenches tight as I fear the ten inch black pole. I feel his wet finger against it and I relax knowing that it would just hurt if I didn't. He inserted on finger, followed by a second, followed by a third and pumped them slowly in and out of my tight behind. I moaned around the bar, saliva gathering in the corner of my mouth and falling onto my chin and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Eventually his fingers are gone and the dildo is twisted and I mean twisted like a cork into place, I already feel too full for it to be true.

"Now on the table." He orders.

He makes quick work of getting my legs tied to the poles and snapping on the clamps. I hiss at every one and my breath traps in my throat as he tugs on each string after tying them up just to tease me.

"Now Ana I'm going to tie your hands up so your safe word is a series of three screams like a siren. Do that for me now."

I scream three times through the gag like a siren and he nods for me to do it again.

"Just do it over and over if you have to I'll get you back to neutral and stop all play ok?" I nod understanding he's talking to me as his wife at this moment.

After securing my hands in place he takes the belts and traps me down onto the table, I can barely move a muscle.

I watch as he grabs a blind fold and secures it over my eyes and then places a set of ear plugs in my ears. The only thing I can do now is feel everything he gives me.

I'm breathing heavily when I feel a vibration on my clit, I arch the tiniest bit I can and moan deeply or at least I think I do, I feel the moan in my throat but I can't hear it. The vibrator or whatever it is Christian is using is pressed harder against my clit and I only last two minutes before I come undone. I expect the vibration to stop but it doesn't, I'm coming down from my high while another is building when suddenly I feel Christian inside of me. He doesn't move, just holds his shaft in place inside of me while I feel everything, the bite of the claps tugging every time I whither, the harsh vibrator on my clit, the corkscrew dildo. I come again, screaming behind the gag but again nothing changes except Christian's slow thrusting, I barely get over my high before I'm coming again. No more, I think this is really going to be death by orgasm here!

After my fourth earth shattering orgasm I am ready to scream like a siren and give Christian hell for this but when I feel him still and I hit my fifth orgasm everything is heightened. I feel his seed spurting as I scream behind the bar. The dildo is uncorked from my behind, each clip holding my pussy lips open is tugged off before Christian pulls out of me. It takes me a few minutes to come down and when I finally open my eyes I'm free of all restraints, I have my sight back, my hearing back and I am in Christian's arms on the floor.

"Did you enjoy that?"

"Hmm." I reply not able to say anything but still debating whether I did enjoy that or not.

"We'll talk about it in the morning. I'm going to carry you to bed now." He says quietly and giving my consent I just snuggle up in his chest and allow him to carry me away.