It wasn't long until, once again, Jaina's family was gathered in her presence. There was one major piece of the puzzle missing, the loss of Wedge, which left everyone confused and concerned. Jaina spent days in bed as her family did they best they could to keep her comfortable and working through an ongoing search for her lost husband.
Luke Skywalker was frustrated. Wedge was a brilliant man; it would have had to taken something powerful and cunning to take him out. That, and he didn't feel the loss of Wedge's life force. He confronted Jaina with his feelings when they had a moment together.
"I really don't think he's gone, Jaina. I don't know where he is, but I didn't feel him…" he sighed before finishing, "go."
Jaina rubbed the constant tears she had been shedding, "Have you tried to reach out?"
"I was searching a little on my own, but I have a feeling if I combine with you, we'd be able to get a stronger hold on his life force," Luke said gently.
Jaina nodded and gave a short sigh before taking her uncle's hands and placing them on the middle of her chest. Both closed their eyes and reached out into the force, Luke enhancing her ability to focus and Jaina enhancing his ability to get a hold on Wedge's life force. There was no pain, no feeling of emptiness. Just blackness, like a dark shroud covering it. The only way they could read that was as a bad sign.
Luke sighed, casting his eyes away to the floor, standing and leaving the room before he could see his niece fall apart. As he faced his family, her parents, his wife, her brother, his son, he could do nothing but shake his head as Jaina's cries began to drown out all of their thoughts.
Wes Janson was the only person not present. He had taken up his own private vigil on the balcony of what was formerly Wedge and Jaina's apartment. He hadn't been nearly as vocal about his anguish over the loss of his best friend as Jaina had been, but just one look in his blue eyes and anyone could tell it ripped his heart to pieces.
Jacen was the only one who had enough patience with the man to actually try to speak with him, though he kept very quiet, staring out at the ocean as if Wedge were just going to appear on the horizon.
"How long will you search?" Jacen asked softly, resting his hands on the ledge, studying Wes' tired features.
"Until he's back where he belongs. Until Deron will stop waking in the middle of the night, shivering and screaming. Until Jaina can breathe again." His voice was soft, yet sure.
"Have you seen her?"
Wes sighed, "Not in the past few days, no."
Jacen studied him for a few moments, silently, then said, "She needs you. I've told you this."
For the first time since he had banished himself to the balcony, Wes found himself turning his head and looking towards the glass doors of the apartment, as Jacen walked back inside.
That night, Wes came to the glass, looking in to the living area, the cots spread about the floor. He slid the heavy door open, softly padding around the cots, stopping only when the force sensitive one's stirred in the listless sleep being caused by the black star that was Jaina's emotions.
He slowly ascended the stairs, glancing over the railing every now and then as he walked down the hallway, making sure none of her family woke as he headed to her and Wedge's bedroom. He gently pushed aside the heavy wooden door, his heart catching in his throat as he saw Jaina standing at the window, staring out at the same sea that had entranced him for days.
He gently came towards her, his arms wrapping themselves around her and taking grip of her hips when he reached her.
"Wedge…" Jaina breathed softly, and Wes could have sworn he heard heaven in her voice.
When she turned to face him, it was as if the universe had come to a complete standstill. His heart broke as her face fell, and he silently cursed himself; he had been trying to help her, not hurt her more.
"I'm sorry Wes," she said, stepping back from his embrace.
"Why did you pull away from me?" he took a step forward, and Jaina cautiously took another backwards, "Jaina…"
"I thought-" her back hit the window as the two continued moving.
"You thought I was him," his hands brushed against her sides, "I'm not him. I won't leave you."
Jaina's dark eyes searched his in the soft moonlight as it danced across his face. For a moment, she actually believed he was smiling.
"Make love to me," he said, leaning his head down closer to hers, his request barely a whisper.
Jaina's lips crushed against his as her arms coiled around his neck. Wes lifted her off the floor, holding her lower body against him as he pressed her against the cool glass of the window. Jaina let a soft groan tremble against their parted lips, and she used the force to hold herself against the window as Wes removed one hand to untie the drawstring on his pants, letting them fall to the carpet. With the other hand he pushed up the hem of her sleeping gown, at the same time leading a trail of kisses down her neck and nudging first the left strap down, then the right.
Wes leaned his full body weight against her as he pushed himself into her, hearing her let out a soft gasp at the new sensation of his warm chest against hers and the cold window against her back. One hand held her above his hips, and the other he used to push her face so that they looked directly into one another's eyes.
Jaina's were even darker than before, her brow above them furrowed slightly from the pleasureful discomfort. Her mouth hung slightly agape, letting out tiny gasps of breath as he moved his hips up to meet hers. Wes touched his own lips to hers over and over.
Jaina felt as if she was gazing at his face through a mist of emotion. She lifted a hand from his shoulder to run her fingers against the stubble that had grown on his cheeks in the past few days, trailing until her fingertips grazed against his lips. She searched deeply into his blue eyes, her heart suddenly bombarded with thousands of emotions as she saw a droplet streak down his cheek that was certainly not sweat.
A small smile turned up the corner of his lips, and he gently ran his thumb against the top of her cheek, wiping away tears that were beginning to flow from her eyes, too. Wes pressed his lips harder and harder against hers, and they tasted each others tears.
Suddenly Wes placed both of his hands against the bottom of her thighs and lifted her away from the window, bringing her to the bed that was covered in soft synthsilk sheets. He lay her body down on the soft beige material, sliding her sleeping gown down her legs, then covering her entire body in caresses and kisses. Every now and then he caught a glimpse of Jaina arching her back and twisting her hands in the sheets as his hands and lips explored her body.
When her soft gasps had elevated to insistent groans, Wes pulled himself up onto the bed and Jaina met her body against his by shimmying her hips down to the edge of the bed. Wes buried his head between her shoulder and neck, tasting the sweat that moistened her skin. His leg muscles were burning with fatigue as he pushed himself as tightly as he could into her.
When he could take no more, Wes turned over and pulled her atop his hips all in one swift movement, letting his hands trace down her body as she came down against him, causing Jaina to throw her head back in passionate surprise, one again assailed by a new sensation. She ground her hips down against his, her hands finding his and guiding one between them. He worked this angle until she was pressing down so hard against his hand and hips that he thought the bed would collapse beneath them. Wes pulled her arm around her lower back and forced her down hard against him as he reached his highest peak, his fingers digging deeply enough into her skin to leave marks as he feverishly worked his other hand against her, feeling her hips spasm against him as she experienced the same euphoria as he did.
Wes' muscles had all but turned to liquid, and he slid right off the bed, Jaina catching him just before they hit the floor, softly placing them against the cool carpet. They remained with their hips pressed together, basking in the warmth of one another, Wes leaning against the bed and holding Jaina's lithe body against his.
She rested her head against the front of his shoulder, and it wasn't very long until she was breathing peacefully, her eyes closed, and for once, she wasn't shaking and suffering the same night terrors as her son had also been. Wes lifted himself off the ground, gingerly laying her down on the bed and crawling up beside her, pulling her safely and tightly against his body and drawing the covers around them.
Neither woke until they felt the weight of three small children clambering over them. Bryan, Deron, and Gianna had been so excited at the sight of two people in their parents' bed that they had assumed that their father had magically returned during the night. When Wes turned over, he was met with three wide eyed stares, ranging from deep brown to hazel to turquoise.
"You're not daddy." Gianna was the first to speak.
Jaina pulled the sheets around her body as she sat up in bed, trying to mask the fact that they both were unclothed, "What are you three doing in here?"
Gianna fixed her mother with the obvious stare of a child who clearly wasn't fooled by her question, "What is he doing in here?"
For several long, horrifying moments, Jaina and Wes stared at one another, completely at a loss of how to explain things to Wedge's children. When Jaina finally looked back to her children, she was unnerved by the fact that she thought she saw sadness in Deron's eyes. It could have been the guilt, but the way he was looking at her, it was clear disappointment.
"Well, Uncle Wes and I decided to have a sleep—"
"Deron! Gianna! Bryan!" the syrupy voice of Mara Jade shocked the triplets out of their confusion, "You know you're not supposed to come in mommy and daddy's room without knocking."
Jaina's gaze drifted up from the youngest of the triplets to her Aunt, who stood in the doorway, hands on hips. She wasn't really sure if the furious expression she wore was towards the children or her and Wes.
"I suggest the three of you go downstairs and get yourselves some breakfast, and we can then forget about this little mistake, correct?"
Three frowning siblings climbed down from the bed and walked slowly to the door, hanging their heads to try and dodge underneath their great aunt's steely gaze. Jaina's heart ached as Deron took one final glace back at her, as if he was mature enough to understand exactly what was going on, and knew that it was all very, very wrong.
Mara watched the children leave, then pulled the door shut behind her. When her gaze met Jaina's, the younger woman's could barely hold and she had to look away. Wes didn't even challenge it; he was plucking absently at the sheets. A long silence stretched between the three, and Mara threw a hand up in the air.
"I can't even fathom being angry, because for some strange reason, this doesn't surprise me…"
"Aunt Mara—"
"Not. Another. Word. Though I'm not surprised, I can certainly say that I am absolutely appalled."
"Mara, come on—"
"Your children have seen you in bed with not only another man, as if that's not bad enough, but their father's best friend. The best friend of a father that we can only assume dead now, because his heartless wife can't find him because his place in her has been clouded and suffocated by the life force of his best friend."
Never had Jaina ever seen her aunt so livid. Never had Jaina ever been cut so deeply by her aunt's harsh words.
"Give me any reason why either of you think I shouldn't want to just call everyone in here and let them all know just what is going on, that a beloved friend of theirs' bed and life is being coveted another man."
"Because one of them all ready knows this fact," Wes finally spat, "Because he requested that his best friend do so, because he knows just how small the chances of finding Wedge are. Because he wants Wedge's children to grow up with a man closest to worthiness to be their father. Because he wants his sister and his niece and nephews to live a safe life with someone who can protect them."
Mara was struck silent when the realization hit her of just who Wes walk talking about, "Jacen-he knew about this?"
"Yes, he knew. He knew that she needs me. He knew that a part of her loves me, no matter how much she may want Wedge here, even now. He knew that I could do all the things that no other man would be able to do," Wes' eyes were tearing, and his voice was shaking as he got out of the bed, storming to pick his pants off the ground and pull them up his legs, walking to Mara and pointing a finger directly in her face, "And most of all, he knew that I love her."
With that, Wes Janson stalked from the room and resumed his position out on the balcony.
Mara's shocked expression was not satisfying for Jaina.
"Jaina…I'm so—"
"Your apologies will never be sufficient. Leave. Now."
Mara was clearly taken aback by how the tables had turned against her. And she wasn't the only one shocked that when the entire family had finally been able to calm Wes down and understand just what was going on, as Jacen had headed upstairs to beckon his sister, he came back down without her, clutching the necklace Wedge had given her on their wedding day in his hand..
"She's gone."
