Still rated M, damn it.
Love to my beta, Stitchcat, and my pre-reader, HammerHips. They both put up with my quirks and insecurities and all I have to give is much thanks.
When we last left our vampires:
"Bella?" Kate asked, her features displaying nothing but confusion.
"Um, yeah. Isabella actually." I said, rolling my eyes. I give it thirty minutes before I'm food again regardless of how I introduce myself.
"We thought you were dead..." The shock was almost palpable in the room. Or it could've all just been mine at this point.
I snorted, "Well, obviously, it didn't take - "Oh wait!" Why does everyone keep saying that?"
Chap 28: Conflict
Silence reigned for what felt like an eternity all its own, and I tried to remember having this discussion with her; I hadn't deliberately kept it from her, it just never crossed my mind with all of the other shit going on around us. I was shocked into stupidity when I came here and found her alive; then we worried that she was not going to survive her withdrawals, so all of our focus turned to her survival.
When things had finally settled, I thought as little as I could about the past and chose to immerse myself in visions of what a future with Bella might entail. "That was so not a rhetorical question! I want an answer." Her voice dropped from the banshee scream it'd adapted to an eerily hushed tone. The abrupt switch left me disoriented and more than a little fuckin' worried. "I want the answer I should have been given months ago."
Ah, hell. That subtle little dig was directed solely at me and I felt her anger and betrayal lashing me in the heavy silence. I turned to face my accuser, my mate, and matched her narrowed eyes with my own.
"With everything else, we just never got around to talkin' about it, Isabella." I said with quiet defiance. I was pissed that she actually thought I just wouldn't tell her something of this magnitude, something that affected her personally to such an extent.
"Looks like there's some trouble in paradise." Irina's lilting, heavily-accented voice cut through the silence, just as her delight and bitterness reached me. I blocked everyone's emotions so that I could focus on just the facts at hand. Besides, mine were unstable enough at the moment, and the combination of Bella's and my anger was not going to lead to anywhere good for any of us.
For the past few weeks, I'd been picking up flares of sudden hostility or just good ol' fashioned pissed-off, but she'd always stuffed them back in; gotten them under control before she blew up or I asked what it was about. It was about time we dealt with this shit though, before it festered any more.
"We need a few minutes alone." I ordered, never taking my eyes from Bella. Garrett and Kate left immediately, as did Char, but Peter had to push Irina's ass out the door with her mutterin' about how we treat our guests and more shit that I couldn't give a flying fuck about right now (or ever in fact). I sent my brother a shot of gratitude for his interference, because I was just about out of fuckin' patience for the day.
"So what? You just forgot?" She scoffed harshly. I took a step back from her. I didn't understand where this mistrust and anger was coming from, and I knew that if I asked I wouldn't get a straight answer. Hell, she might not even understand it, but I had to admit it hurt like a son of a bitch to be on the receiving end.
"Yeah, I did." I said flatly, tryin' to rid my voice of the hurt and anger and my face the same. "I've never lied to you before. Why would I start now?"
"You sure you didn't think I was just too fragile, too weak to handle the truth? You sure that you just didn't want to have to deal with the crazy human you got stuck with getting all hysterical? Are you sure it wasn't for my protection?" Her voice was cold; hateful. She was everything opposite than I'd ever seen Bella be, and that caused that cutting pain this little spat brought with it to an all new level. I had to fight to keep every stab from playin' across my face.
It was easy to… not forget, but put aside all of the fucked-up shit that had happened to Bella in the last few years when we were lounging in front of the fire talkin' or when we watched a movie or did one of a thousand everyday tasks with the greatest of ease and with complete normalcy. Well, as normal as you can get for a relationship between a human and a vampire.
It wasn't pity for the horrors that she'd lived through that made me take a deep breath and try again; it was the recognition that she was hurtin' here too, and she was doin' what any hurt, confused animal does when you get too close: they lash out in hopes of makin' you back off. And it was love that had me reachin' toward her, braced for rejection but wishin' for something more. My love for her, plain and simple. Deep and strong. Unwavering.
She tensed under my touch but only briefly before she melted into my arms and clung to me. I shivered from the feel of her warm body against my bare chest but I quickly diverted that train of thought before I had another hard, painful thing to deal with. "I'm sorry, Jazz. I just don't get what's wrong with me. Every little thing sends me spiraling out of control, twisting this way and that. I feel like I'm bogged down under heavy waves but trying to surface with my arms strapped down. I'm going under all the time and I hate this feeling and I hate not understanding it!" I could hear the truth of her hasty words in the strain of her voice, the pleading of her tone, the desperation of her tightening grip, but none of that prepared me for opening my senses back up to her.
Her emotions were flickering by too fast and none of them had a shade of positive or an ounce of weakness. My stomach clenched and my arms gripped her too strong for a split second. She didn't even register the pain, so lost in her emotional storm, but I was sure she'd have a bruise tomorrow and that only furthered the heavy feelings now swirling around us. It took me another minute to realize I wasn't helpless; I wasn't weak. I could stop this.
As she continued to burrow in my arms as much as she could, craving what little comfort she could find, I thought of only her and my feelings for her. I barricaded them until the strength was astounding and the pressure almost too much, and then I released their full force onto her. She gasped under the attack but slowly, as I cycled out her more potent poisonous feelings and replaced them with security and love, she relaxed. I even threw a little lust in there, which made her give a watery snort once she identified it. Her hands started lightly tracin' the scars on my chest where she had them restin', and yet again, I had to remind myself fun time was over for tonight. We had important shit to cover still.
I held her, runnin' my arms up and down her back, until she whispered in a voice that made her sound as small as her chaotic emotions had made her feel, "Why does everyone think I'm dead, Jasper?"
Her face stayed on my chest, and after pausin' in shock at her completely reasonable question for short second, my arms continued their path up and down her back as I spoke, dreading the results of this conversation but unwilling to lie to her, even by omission, and unable to deny her anything she asked like this: here in my arms, snuggled against my flesh and trustin' me not to take advantage of her vulnerable state.
"I was headin' through Washington -"
"Why?" She interrupted, and I chuckled a little at her insatiable curiosity. The sound died as quickly as it had begun because I couldn't, wouldn't, lie to her and the truth was inexcusable, but I selfishly hoped it wasn't unforgivable in Bella's eyes. I hugged her close to me once more before I answered, in case it was the last time I'd have such a chance.
"I came to kill you." She didn't respond at all so I kept goin'. "My marriage was over, life as I knew it had ended, and I needed someone to blame. It was wrong and I realized that almost immediately." She was completely silent and motionless. I couldn't feel anything comin' from her besides the toxic emotions that she'd had earlier and they were growin' in force.
"When?" She asked in a dead monotone that I'd heard before but I'd never been the cause of.
"When I came into town." I spoke quickly and kept my arms fastened tight around her since she hadn't asked to be released yet. It was selfish but I needed her to get through this. "I noticed a funeral goin' on and I was curious. Alice showed up and told me that it was yours, that it was my fault, and I lost it." Surprise flared strong within her at the same time as her anger struck again, and she finally looked up at me.
"Your fault?" She snapped. I nodded once. "Bull-honkin'-shit. You didn't leave me in forest full of dangerous creatures broken-hearted and near catatonic. You didn't hurt me. So you took a snap! You're a vampire, Jasper. I knew the risks every time I walked into your house and never once did I regret it until after…" She trailed off, and I interrupted to spare her from followin' that trail of thought and because she was wrong.
"But it was -" I didn't get very far into my rebuttal before her eyes turned to slits and her gaze alone caused my balls to sound the retreat.
"We've been over that." Apparently, decidin' that was done, she moved on briskly. "What did you mean by you lost it?" I had to look away from her as I confessed my sins and prayed it wouldn't be the deal breaker for her.
"I'd been feedin' and fuckin' humans since I left Alice." And up until now I hadn't felt more than a jot bad about it, but now my shame made my throat thick and my head heavy. "The next time I tried to do either after what I thought was your funeral, after I picked myself off of the ground, I just…couldn't. I thought I was cursed. Vampires don't exactly suffer from performance anxiety. I felt your loss like nothin' else in my long, miserable life."
My head snapped back to her as she whimpered, "I'm your curse?"
"No, Babe, no. Even then I thought of you as my albatross. Do you know the poem?"
"Coleridge right?" I nodded. "And it was an omen of good luck until some assclown shot it down."
" Yes, Ma'am, and I thought I was that assclown." I kissed the top of her head as she snuggled back into my embrace. A small part of my mind registered that she should be gettin' cold, but I didn't think either of us cared enough to move right now. "Eventually I was starvin' enough to drain a deer and that's why I had golden eyes when we met. Not my doin', but yours."
"But you barely even knew me and you'd killed humans before. Why did it affect you so…drastically?" There was no judgment in her tone or her emotions, just curiosity. And I don't know why it surprised me.
"If I had to guess I'd say that I had in some way already recognized you as my mate. It's the only thing that makes any sense. I was mournin' for your loss, not my guilt." She just nodded like this all made sense, and though her emotions were still tumultuous, they were under control. Her brow creased slightly like it always did when she was lost in her thoughts and I just waited for her to work through whatever was goin' on inside her pretty little head. Whenever I thought about her mind, mine always conjured a picture of a maze filled with things that ranged from the absurd to the deadly. At any moment, she could run into a trap in there and have to fight her way back out, or she could sit and eat pie and have a wonderland-worthy conversation with herself.
"I bet you wouldn't have hurt me on my birthday." She stated with as much confidence as she would stake in the Earth bein' round or shit stinkin'.
"I don't know. I only know that as soon as I caught a whiff of your blood, I was gone."
"Charlotte said that mating might be different with a human, but you didn't feel a strong draw to me before that night. Char said it was instinct. Maybe it was when you smelled my blood…" She trailed off and I smiled at her, amazed at how her mind worked and baffled by how she came to the conclusion she did; though the idea had merit, I admit.
"Next time I talk to Carlisle I'll ask." Her shock was back in full-force and I couldn't believe the gauntlet her emotions had run in such a short period, and I was pretty fuckin' sure that all this stress did not do the body good.
"You still talk to him?" Her face and voice had lost all expression.
"I haven't since I left, but it may happen one day. If you'd rather I didn't though…" I left it hangin' and completely in her hands. She was my everything. As long as I had her I was a happy fuckin' man; a horny motherfucker, but happy nonetheless.
"Well, you obviously got over the hunting block but are you still loving and leaving them?" Her voice was still that cold monotone, but I could still feel her. As her feelin's of inadequacy and self-loathin' rose and her confidence plummeted, I rushed to reassure her. Granted it didn't have to drop much to hit bottom, but still.
"No! That was all before you. I'm not tryin' to excuse my behavior. But Darlin', I've told you and I meant it; you are it for me. Besides, I've been feedin' off of whatever I can scrounge up in the woods since my 'slip' a couple of months back. And I'm not into bestiality."
She looked up again and I was happy to see the mask that she'd donned had started to drop, but her worry spiked suddenly, and she reached up to trace the dark shadows underneath my eyes.
"You need to hunt. I've been so wrapped up in me I hadn't even considered you." Her emotions were killin' me: selfishness, doubt, shame, hatred, anger; all directed at herself for some non-existent short comin' she'd conjured up in her mind. I didn't know how I could convince her that I was fine and she was more than I deserved and all that I wanted, so I did the only thing left to do. I kissed her.
My mouth possessed hers and my tongue found its home in her warm little mouth. Damn, I wasn't sure about her, but this was makin' me feel a hell of a lot better. A second later, I felt her burden ease as well; allowin' her love and awe and lust (fuck me) to overshadow all of the bad. Her nails ran down my shoulders and over my nipples, and as my chest vibrated with the growl she'd incited, it took all of my limited willpower to pull away so that she could breathe. Before I could remember that we had time for more of this when she was ready, because she definitely wasn't yet. Fuck, forget toe curlin'; when you kiss a woman and she forgets the need to breathe that's somethin' brag-worthy right there.
I rested my forehead against hers and smirked as she panted, and then chuckled when she pouted, complete with big doe eyes, and said, "But I wasn't done."
"Neither was I, trust me, but we've only got a few more minutes of privacy." She fell quiet, gently tracin' my scars again, lost in her thoughts, and I just ran my arms up and down her back and her arms and waited. Finally, she broke the silence.
"I still don't understand why they want everyone to think I'm dead?"
"I wish I had all the answers for ya, Darlin'. I don't right now, but I promise you we will find out."
"My D-Dad? He buried me." Her grief was overwhelmin' and I knew words meant nothin' right now, so I did the only thing I could. When her legs gave out, I lowered to the floor with her and I held her as she wept bitterly for the family she'd loved and lost. Her pain was unbearable for me, and I promised to myself that once I made it back to Washington, both of the men that had betrayed Bella and tossed her aside without a second thought would pay their debt in blood; their own blood and anyone who got in between us. I began countin' each tear that fell from her eyes, because each deserved its retribution and I would be the executioner sent on their behalf. And I'd derive pleasure beyond belief durin' the act.
She quieted back down quicker than I would've thought for the depth of her abandonment and betrayal, but when I asked about it her answer was simply "I should've known." And that closed that conversation, though I wanted to shake her and yell that there's no way she should have, could have, been prepared for something like this, but since I was ninety-nine percent sure it would do no good and only cause the first ever vampiric headache for me, and more emotional instability for her, I let it drop.
I was ready for their return when they came back not five minutes later. I'd hoped that our guests could shed some light on some of our questions, and I wanted a fuckin' status report from Peter about his mission. I'm an impatient bastard as Char and Peter are well aware of, which is fuckin' ironic since all I've been doin' lately is waitin'.
Peter poked his head in first with his hand coverin' his eyes, "Everyone decent?" I just rolled my eyes and stood with Bella, who was smirkin' at his antics.
"I see you peeking, Red. Hoping to catch a glimpse of J-Mo's ass?" Garrett's laughter and a few feminine chuckles ushered the rest of the vampires in. Bella automatically stepped into my side again and I tried to restrain my smile, my pride that she still trusted me knowin' every shady thing I'd done in my long and immoral life.
I said hellos to our guests before gettin' down to business. "Why did y'all think she was dead?"
"How did you even know about me?" Bella asked. I knew the answer to this one though and I was pretty damn sure of the other as well.
"Alice." The both said simply. But when Kate figured we were wantin' a bit more detailed answer she continued; Irina just stared at my still bare chest. There wasn't an overwhelmin' amount of lust at first glance; it was more like alarm and it was the natural reaction to seein' my scars fully exposed for the first time. With our vision, they literally popped out and screamed a warnin'. Of course, like with most vampire females, as soon as the instinctual fear was assessed and turned off, the lust and want did dial up. Again, it was instinctual. My scars proved that I was a man who could fight and protect what was mine, and it called to unmated females like the flashy feathers on a fuckin' peacock.
Luckily, Bella was too preoccupied by Kate to notice Irina starin' at me, and the others starin' at her. I'd forgotten some of the major changes that had happened in their absence. Besides the fact that she seldom tensed and even sought out contact, she had also taken to wearin' tight fitted tees. A fact that I was beyond thrilled with. Her scars didn't bother me; in fact, I'd spent a few hours recently imaginin' tracin' each one with my tongue and showin' her exactly how fuckin' hot she was. But it was gonna take the other dipshits a moment apparently. My low hiss caught their attention and I felt an apology from each one. The only one's who hadn't been guilty of oglin' Bella with a mixture of pity, disgust, anger, love, and pride were Kate and, of course, Irina, who just so happened to still be lookin' at my chest. Fuck! I was ready to call this day quits and try the fuck again tomorrow.
"Isabella, we knew of you from your first day of school when Edward came to our house seeking sanctuary from the call of your blood, and again we heard of you after…" And she trailed off awkwardly.
"After Edward left me." Bella said in a hard voice.
Kate nodded glancin' at me and I knew that that's not what she'd planned on sayin', and I felt her curiosity and concern spike as she took in my dark, red-rimmed eyes for the first time.
I gritted my teeth, "I'm not gonna hurt her, Kate." Once again, Kate just nodded but Irina thought that this would be the appropriate time to pipe up, apparently.
"I'm sure Edward would be very upset if you did." Her smugness and bitterness radiated forth. I was about to set her straight when I figured I didn't have to.
"Irina!" Kate hissed. Just as another voice piped up.
"I don't give a bare monkey's ass what Edward would or wouldn't be. He left me for other distractions. He said he didn't want me. The end. He has NO say in my life or my decisions. And Jasper would never hurt me." As soon as Bella paused in her tirade, Kate jumped back in and calmly finished her explanation.
"We found out about your death from Alice; she had been looking for Edward to tell him the news. She was confident it would help him get over you, which I'll admit honestly made no sense to us at the time, but that is the extent of our knowledge on the subject. I'm sorry we can't tell you more." Her concern seemed to have died completely durin' her explanation, and recognition and acceptance took over. I'd never understand how a woman's mind worked, but since I wasn't pickin' up on any hostility then I figured whatever Kate's deal was could wait.
Because instead of Bella listenin' to Kate, her eyes were watchin' Irina like a hawk. And Irina's were still glued to my chest for fuck's sake. I had to close myself off to the emotions in the room once more but I blanketed everyone in a bunch of calm-the-fuck-down before I moved the conversation along.
"What were y'all doin' in Forks?" It wasn't an assumption. It was a fact that that's where they had to have met up with Peter and the others. Peter was a top-notch soldier and he followed my orders to a T. Every fuckin' time. He wouldn't have strayed without lettin' me know. Especially with somethin' this fuckin' important.
Since Irina was still preoccupied, Kate fielded this question as well. "It's where Laurent disappeared. We'd heard that it was the wolves," and Bella gasped and became as rigid as a board. "But that information is no longer reliable since it came from Victoria, and she's since formed an alliance with the mongrels."
"What does Laurent have to do with you?" I asked genuinely confused. Finally, this seemed to break Irina's concentration on my chest and look at my eyes.
"What does he have to do with us? He was my mate." Peter hacked out what sounded like "a random fuck" and I had to agree with his assessment here. I felt her grief and it was real, but the majority was just anger, bitterness, and lust; except it wasn't lust for body, but for blood. She wanted revenge. But shit, that worked for me. If we didn't need their help, Peter wouldn't have bothered bringin' them back for fuck's sake.
"He died because he tried to eat me." Bella stated all non-fuckin'-chalant and I inwardly cringed. I should've been the one to kill his sorry lyin' ass. Peter and Garrett's chuckles brought my attention back to a very irate Irina, but I could care less. My mate over her "random fuck" every damn time, yeah.
Irina sneered, "You're not the one who killed him. That would be akin to blaming the stupid deer a hunter was standing in front of when he got shot. I could care less about his dietary plans. I want vengeance for my mate!" Her answer was as cold as it was shockin' and I could see Bella mullin' the logic of it over.
Just then her stomach growled and Garrett chuckled; he was just overjoyed to see her. I remember the first time I'd come home from a guys only huntin' weekend to find Alice waitin' there for me. After bein' a disposable soldier and then a nomad, I didn't understand the feelin' of delight at simply comin' home, back to the person or place that meant that for me.
Her head whipped around to glare at him and he stifled the chuckle and settled for a big-ass smile. Since she couldn't hold her glare, Bella marched off toward the kitchen announcin', "I'm going to get something to eat."
She hadn't made if three steps when I heard Peter's whisper of "Oh shit" and I heard the rustlin' of feet glidin' through the woods, not two miles out. I growled as I grabbed Bella, pullin' her behind me and turned to the door readied as did every other vampire in the room at that time. Peter opened the door and moved beside it flush against the wall in case he was needed, but as soon as the air filled the room from outside, I relaxed.
Bella's heart had just picked back up its pace, double time, when I stood, blockin' her from view.
"Good of you to call first, Em. I thought I said now was NOT a good time."
"Sorry, Man. I couldn't stop her. So where's your -" He trailed off as he inhaled. I'd hoped her scent had changed enough to prolong this a few, but obviously it hadn't.
"You're kidding, right Jazz." Ah, Rosalie. "What? She couldn't get Edward to give it up so she moved on to you?"
And just like that, Rose was pinned by her throat by a severely pissed off Char. Charlotte had her hand that wasn't diggin' into Rosalie's throat fisted in her long blond hair. And likewise Em was pinned against the other wall by Peter and Garrett, not that he was fightin' them. After a glance to make sure Rose was alright, he completely stilled. His face was crumpled as he tried to piece together what he now knew and our previous phone call, but it didn't look like it was workin' so well.
I had never more wished that "shut the hell up" was an emotion because I would've been pumpin' it into the room at that moment. This was a volatile situation. Bella had already had an unstable day and one wrong word here could send her into that downward spiral that she seemed to be on, that constant edge of a funnel that she was always lookin' down.
"Charlotte." I ordered quietly; with a growl and a snap of her teeth not a hair's breadth in front of Rose's nose, she released her.
"Is that -" I cut off Rose's bitch-speech immediately.
"I'm just gonna remind you that you're in my house now, not Carlisle's. Every member of my coven will be respected."
"Your-your coven? She's a HUMAN! One that you tried to EAT for God's sake!" My look offered no sympathy and certainly no room for argument, but then again neither had my tone. I thought that maybe I was gettin' soft in my old age, but then again this was Rosalie. Once she clamped down on a bone, she wasn't lettin' loose. I sighed. I didn't look forward to puttin' her in her place, but I would if she kept on.
"Emmett! I'm not staying in the same house as her!" She turned to him for help but the look on his face, which was the same as it had been since his first breath, stopped her cold. Even with my gift locked up, I felt the stab of annoyance and the heat of pure anger behind me and I sighed, reachin' up to rub my forehead as Bella stepped out from behind me to face her attacker. I was just breakin' all kinds of vampire barriers: first vampire to suffer impotence and first to have a Texas-sized migraine. Carlisle would have a field day with this shit.
"You are abso-fucking-lutely, one-hundred percent right. You won't be staying here. This is my house and you are not welcome." She stated in a remarkably calm voice, only her slightly shakin', fisted hands givin' away her anger.
I turned to her in shock and directed the love and pride I was feelin' for her in her direction.
"Red and G-Red, you can let him go. He's no threat and they're leaving."
"I'm -" Rosalie began, but miracle of miracles, Emmett's harsh growl caused her mouth to shut immediately. I'd teased him mercilessly about his woman wearin' the pants in their relationship, and his good–natured answer was always that she should since she had the better legs, but the truth was that he indulged her. He supported her, but he'd quietly put her in her place when it was needed. He was just so mild-mannered and not easily riled that you didn't see it very often, and it was always worth a few moments of silence.
"Jazz. I'll be back to talk to you in a bit. Just you and me. Bella." His eyes softened when he looked at her and tilted his head toward in her in acknowledgement, and with that they were gone as quickly as they'd come.
Of course, the vampires could hear Rosalie's questions of "What's going on?" and "What were those scars on her?". We also heard Emmett's growl and then nothin' as they sped away and we stood silent in the aftermath. It seemed as if both Irina and Kate were reappraisin' Bella, and as I opened myself up to see where they were emotionally, all I got was a fuck-load of confusion. And for the first time I wondered what exactly Peter had told them.
He barely breathed out a "Later fucker" as he turned to usher Char toward the bedroom, but the fucker knew that wasn't gonna fly. I know he did.
"Where do think you're going, Red?" Bella asked steppin' in their path.
"My room. Me and the wifey have some stuff to do." He spouted cockily and winked at her conspiratorially, like she was in on this secret scheme to get him laid. I just rolled my eyes at the silly bastard as Bella snorted.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to veto that. See," She said pointing toward the bedroom door, "I sleep in there now. Especially with all the additional company. You all are just going to have to settle for hearing my snores instead of watching me drool night after night. Garrett chuckled and I smirked. She did drool and she lightly snored too, but with our hearin' she might as well've had a chainsaw goin' all night every night.
"Oh, but Pumpkin, we'll be done before you're ready to sleep." He took another step and she was in the doorway with her arms latched onto the old frame faster than I thought was humanly possible. Even Irina and Kate were enjoyin' this little show.
"Over. My. Cold. Really dead. Body." She growled, and I hissed at her piss-poor choice of words. She spared me a slight shrug and semi-apologetic smirk before turnin' her attention back to the horny fucker, who was saggin' in defeat.
"Jelly Roll, I have needs." Peter whined out. "I never thought you'd be such a damn cock-blocker." He pouted and she smirked.
"When you're using the bed I sleep in as your sparkly-cum catcher, then hell yeah, Red. Hell to the yeah." And with one more very serious face in his direction she headed to the kitchen, pullin' Char along behind her. "And don't even think about tryin' to be sneaky. I'm sure Jazz doesn't want to lay on your sticky jizz-juiced blankets either." She sang as she opened up the fridge.
"That's true, Fucktard." I said as I passed him and knocked his shoulder. I'd missed the cryptic bastard, though if it weren't for the impendin' battle I'd kick everyone of them out on their asses out right now, because she just said I'd be in bed with her. That was definitely a step in the right fuckin' direction.
He grabbed my forearm and I turned to look at him. "I just told them that the wolves had hurt one of ours and we were seekin' a little retribution in the shape of total annihilation. They didn't ask more and I didn't tell, but we might want to consider doin' that before it comes out in a more unpleasant way. It's up to you."
"No. It's up to Bella. I'll ask her tonight. Did you cover y'all's trail back?" He rolled his eyes but answered just the same. This was about Bella so I wasn't assumin' somethin' so important had been done; he'd just have to deal with my overbearin' ass for a bit.
"Yes, Sir." He popped off with a weak salute, as I grabbed a shirt from the room and slid it on. "We confused the scent and took several indirect paths back here. I guarantee no newborn or mutt could've followed."
I nodded and went into the kitchen where everyone else had drifted in Bella's wake, and Char was givin' her a hand on her dinner. They both moved perfectly in sync in this dance they'd mastered, and I basked in the contentment flowin' around the room. Sure there was a little jealousy and a lot of lust still comin' my way from Irina, but that was all superficial; contentment reigned and I was gonna enjoy it while it lasted.
When they were finished, Bella sat to eat her dinner and we all took up our normal positions around the kitchen, with Kate now occupyin' the spot beside Garrett. Happy chatter filled the room as Bella ate until Irina huffed, "Watching her eat is the equivalent of a cow chewing cud and equally as entertaining." And stormed out of the fuckin' room.
"Let me tell you somethin', Heifer," Peter began, but Bella stopped him.
"Leave her. She's fine." I sent her some curiosity and she just shrugged at me as the different conversations in the small room picked up again. Bella sat, pickin' at her food and I could feel the emotional storm that had never quite blown over earlier brewin' stronger with every passin' moment and I knew I needed to figure out what was goin' on.
Bella's fidgetin' got worse and her emotions resembled someone trapped, claustrophobic even: anxiety, fear, impatience, despair, and dread. As she hunched in on herself and her breathin' got more shallow, I provided her escape.
"Darlin'? You wanna take a walk with me before bed?"
"Yes!" She sprung up with a smile and some gratitude in my direction and rushed toward the door. "Is it safe for us to wander around?" She asked as she pulled on her tall rubber boots and wrapped up in her coat.
"We'll stick close." And out we went once she was done bundlin' up.
I sensed her worry, so I tried to reassure her that she was safe. "Really, Babe. Pete just got done tellin' me that they confused the trail and even covered their scents as much as they could. There's nothin' to worry about."
"Oh, I hate to disagree and I wouldn't if you weren't wrong, but yeah, you are, so I am. And what do you mean they covered their scents?" I smirked.
"Well, it's kind-of an old huntin' technique. We employed it in my days with Maria and it worked like a fuckin' charm. See, vampire's base instincts are at their strongest and most overwhelmein' durin' that first year and since most scouts that were sent by enemy camps were newborns, Peter and I came up with a way to deter them. It's simple really. You just get a fuck-load of piss; bear works the best and-"
"Wait! Bear piss?" And she laughed. Doubled-over, gut bustin' laughter. It echoed through the quiet snowscape and it warmed me the way no fire ever could. As long as she could laugh like that, we would be fine; she would be fine. When she quieted back down, we kept walkin' and I finished explainin'.
"We just made a perimeter with it; well, I made a perimeter. Peter liked to paint the desert with the shit. I swear the fucker did the Mona Lisa out of fox piss once. 'Course after he added the bear scat mustache, I kicked his ass for wastin' my fuckin' time. The urine masked our scent pretty damn well as long as nobody humped a tree or got too friendly in the bushes, and it riled up the animalistic instincts, cloudin' any possibility for logical thought. Probably not good for the humans around Monterrey, but for us, it was fuckin' gold. Even mature vampires don't want to stick their noses too close to a piss trail." She was actually fuckin' gigglin' now and I committed the mesmerizin' sound to memory. "Collectin' it also made a mighty fine punishment for a misbehavin' troop when I was feelin' generous or just damn lazy."
I watched as she covered her mouth to mask her girlish giggles. Time seemed to stop for me when she was happy like this and I wondered in awe at the incredible effect this woman had on me. Again, I just marveled at how beautiful she really was through and through; pink cheeks to black toe nails, crazy brilliant mind to intense lovin' heart. But the moment ended all too soon and it was an abrupt fuckin' drop back into reality.
"You lied to me." She said dead somber, and I wondered if I'd missed some part of the conversation.
"Pardon?" I took a deep breath, tryin' to maintain my cool, but I had a feelin' that wasn't gonna be easy. Was it ever easy with Bella? The answer to that was hell no, but still so worth it. The only thing that came easy was lovin' her.
"You said you didn't talk to them anymore!"
"No, Isabella, I said that I hadn't talked to Carlisle and I damned sure don't appreciate bein' called a liar." I said, not hidin' my anger a bit. I'd had enough of this shit today. "And how is it that you can get all pissy over a misunderstandin' between us in two seconds flat, but Irina you say is fine?"
"What do you want to hear here, Jazz? That I'm jealous of her? Because she's tall and blonde and ridiculously blessed in the chest? Or because she looks at you like you're not wearing a stitch every second she's in the same room? What's her super power? X-ray vision? Or is she just a Superwhore? I haven't seen her on her back so that could explain my confusion here! What do you want to hear?" She yelled, close to full blown hysteria, but as I looked at her pantin' after her little speech, I couldn't help but chuckle. She needed to get some of this shit out and I could tell some of her pressure had been relieved already.
"So why didn't you let Peter lay into her?" She sighed exasperatedly.
"Because I don't know Irina and she's nothing to me and vice versa. I'm rubber and she's sticky glue. Her words don't bother me a bit, just her blatant eye-fucking of you. Plus, she's hurting. I can give her a free pass for a while."
"I don't think I'll ever cease to be surprised by you." I told her as I pulled her into my arms where she belonged.
"I hope not. I'd hate for you to get bored with me." It was said as an off-hand comment, but I could feel her insecurity.
"Bella, I'm yours. Forever." I kissed her, pourin' every ounce of what I was feelin' into her, hopin' it'd be enough proof for now and that the rest would be settled with time.
When we broke apart for air, we stood under the snow frosted pines and just stared into each other's eyes. How she could think I could ever get tired of her was beyond my comprehension. Standin' here beneath the stars with her safe in my arms was utter perfection, and when you find that, you cling to it, you'd be a damned fool to let it go. Now, I might be damned, but standin' here with her pressed deliciously against my chest, I wasn't a fool.
When her chatterin' teeth caught my attention, I grabbed her hand and we headed back to the over-crowded cabin with our fingers intwined. Before we arrived, I figured I'd save myself this same conversation in the future.
"In the interest of full disclosure here, I've called Alice twice since we've been here. Once, to find out if she knew what had happened to you after we left," Bella's alarm and raw fear skyrocketed, her breath hitched, and I struggled not to speak so fast she wouldn't understand in my haste to reassure her. "And once after the newborn's visit. She had called Peter's cell to let me know she saw someone headin' this way. That's all."
"So you're not goin' back to her?" I just rolled my eyes at the obstinate woman beside me.
"I've told you, Darlin'-"
"I know, Jasper; you're mine." She blushed slightly and I chuckled at her bullheaded insecurities. "I just might need you to keep reminding me until I feel it too."
"That I can do."
She got ready for bed and when she called me in she was already half-asleep and worn plum out. I slid down the wall and squatted in my usual spot but before I went all, as she called it, Mr. Sandman on her ass, she whispered, "Lay next to me?"
Though I wanted to be in that bed before the next beat of her heart, since I didn't want to scare her to death, I moved at human speed. As I walked to the other side of the bed, she opened her eyes and followed my movements, rollin' on her side toward me.
I sat down, took off my boots, and I laid back easily beside her as if she were a skittish colt; my arms behind my head and my ankles crossed. I was shootin' for nonchalant, but my senses were wide open for the first sign of panic or any discomfort on her behalf; there was none. I could feel her gaze though and I turned my head to meet it.
Slowly, mimickin' my earlier caution, she scooted closer to me, pausin' when she was barely an inch away. She nibbled on her lip as she debated God only knows what, and then she sat up and brushed her lips tentatively against mine before lyin' her head on my chest and driftin' off.
I brought my arm down around her as she curled into my side and said, "I'm gonna go huntin' and probably have a chat with Emmett while you sleep." I felt her alarm though she didn't move. "Peter, Garrett, and Char will be here the entire night and I won't go far, okay?"
She just nodded against my chest and I felt like shit. I didn't want to leave her, but with so many extra vamps in the cabin, the bloodlust had kicked up a few notches and I wasn't takin' any chances with her life. Plus, I had the feelin' my talk with Em was gonna get loud. And like me, Emmett wasn't known for his patience. I had to go to him before he popped in here.
"I love you, Isabella." I said quietly as I kissed the top of her head.
She sighed out a "Love you, Jasper" and off to drift in a dreamless sleep she went. Two hours later, Peter nudged me out the door, tossin' my boots out behind me, and I ran off, after one look back at home, to get this reunion over with.
I followed Emmett and Rose's trail and it didn't take me long to find him, just standin' as still and solid as the fir beside him.
"Tell me." He barked out as soon as I came to a stop.
"You sure you want to know?"
"Use your gift and you tell me. Am I sure?" He ground out. His determination and rage battered against my extra sense and I bit back the growl that they incited, as I closed myself off to him before we ended up brawlin'. I wasn't sure it wasn't headin' that direction already, but I wanted to have a good reason to deck him if it came to that part.
"That's not what I meant. Fuck. You'll have to live with it for the rest of your days. I wish I didn't know the details, but at the same time, I couldn't have gone on unaware. You can."
"Like hell I can! FUCK YOU, JASPER! That's MY sister! I want to know what the fuck happened to her and who I need to fucking kill, and you better start providing me with those answers." What had started as yellin' ended in a growl; one that I gladly fuckin' matched.
"She stopped bein' your sister when you left." I was expectin' the right that caught low on my jaw, but that didn't soften the blow any. Fucker rattled my teeth. Emmett had brute strength, and I'd been lookin' all day for a way to get some of this aggression out; Merry fuckin' Christmas to me.
We traded blow after blow until his grief overshadowed his rage, and then we separated the length of our new clearin' to calm the fuck down and finish this chat. After all, we both had a woman to get back to.
"What did you tell Rosalie?" I felt his guilt spike, but his answer was reasonable.
"Just that you had a new dame, but then she insisted on visiting. You know Rosie; she just wanted to see if this new one was more worthy of you than Alice. I told her she was human but nothing else that we talked about…" He trailed off but I fuckin' knew there was more.
"And?"
He sighed. "I had to tell her the rest; as much as I knew anyway. She saw the scars, which you must've forgotten to mention, and she saw my reaction. Normally, I would've scooped Bells up, and I think only the shock of figuring out that she was the girl you were talking about stopped me. Well, that and…I figured she didn't like to be touched." He finished quietly with his head bowed.
"You figured right. She just started huggin' for fuck's sake, but only after several failed attempts." I chuckled rememberin' Garrett's endless ribbing of Peter. "I'm the only one she doesn't cringe with every time, so keep that in mind. Also, never come up behind her without her seein' you." Hell, I winced rememberin' about a month and a half back when Garrett had made that mistake. It took her an hour to calm down enough to talk and longer to get her out of the corner she'd backed into. It was a fuckin' nightmare for us, but I had no pretentions that it was at all worse than what she went through in that second of findin' him suddenly behind her.
"I need to know. Please, Brother." I was as tired as a vampire could get, and I was ready to be back home, so I caved.
"Fine; just remember: you asked." And I told him a story I had no right to tell, but that I figured he did need to know. I kept the more personal details to myself and managed to make it through with only a small sacrifice on the forest's behalf.
"So what now? You have a plan." He growled out, crackin' his knuckles with a look on his face that would've made a lesser man shit himself.
"'Course, I do. We're goin' after the mangy bastard, all right, and the bitch, who's lived long past her expiration date. The Denali's seem like they're with us, so it evens the odds a bit."
"You think about calling Carlisle?"
"No. And everything said tonight stays goes no further than Rose. If that means you can't see Edward for the next decade, I don't give a fuck. You wanted to know and with that comes the responsibility of keepin' your mouth and mind shut."
"No problem." He turned to leave, but stopped. "Rosie's gonna want to talk to her."
"I know; tomorrow's fine. After that though, it's up to Bella." He turned, scrutinizin' me.
"You love her." He stated in shock.
"She's my mate, Emmett." I stood proudly as I told him and hoped he understood. He nodded and left without another word, only shock and grief tinged with anger flowin' off of him.
I crawled back into bed after a quick hunt of a few small, unsavory foxes, a nine-point buck, and a much-needed shower. The rivulets of hot water down my chest reminded me of the feel of her fingers earlier, tenderly caressin' each scar, and gave me somethin' else to take care of before I came back to Bella.
I lifted her head back to its spot on my chest and relaxed as she curled into me. I closed my eyes and stayed with her until the murky light broke through the window and the other vampires in the house started gettin' restless.
I reluctantly left her once more after makin' sure she was still in a deep sleep.
An hour later, I was greatly regrettin' that decision. Coordinatin' with another coven was a pain in the ass, and I was sure about to show mine in order to get somethin' accomplished. The map of Washington was spread on the table and Peter was leaned over it as he talked.
"The best I could tell without goin' too far into their territory, is that the wolves- eight if I caught all of their scents- patrol this area here," He pointed to the Quileute border that seemed to have expanded in our absence to now include Forks. "The red-head and her supplemental army -"
"How many?"
"I can't be a hundred percent sure, but if I had to give a number I'd say fifteen newbies and a couple of older vamps. They stick to this area here and based on their trails, I'd say they've been huntin' north."
"So if we come in from the South -"
"Yeah Major. We'll give 'em an ass kickin' that'll have their grandmammy's icin' their asses."
"Like you read about."
"As I was sayin' before though -"
I interrupted Peter's repeated report of activity in the area and turned to Kate, hopin' to get this wrapped up before Bella woke. "Where will the rest of your coven stand on this?"
"By us, of course. We called to tell them we were coming to meet up with you and that we could coordinate from here. Our family is loyal." Irina could make all the fuckin' digs she wanted if it kept her happy. As long as she wasn't mouthin' off about my mate I couldn't give a fuck about the rest.
"Major, our attack has to be swift. If they have time to prepare -"
I'd been so lost in my thoughts of strategy and Irina's irritatin' ass I hadn't even heard her approach.
"Wait! What attack? I thought the Reds went scouting to see if they were planning an attack. Defense stuff. You can't go up against an ARMY for me? Have you lost your mind? Maybe we should find you a nice padded cell to lie down in!" She was shakin' her head with her cheeks reddened from her fit of temper; her hands were white-knuckle fisted. "No! I won't let you do this!"
I stood up to face the little hellcat in her 'bite me' black t-shirt and pants that they'd brought back from the mission for her, her wild bed-hair, and her fiery eyes.
"Darlin', I love the fuck out of you and you know it's true; at least you should by now, but you don't "let" me do shit and you sure as hell can't stop me. I'm my own damn man and I'll do what I think is right. I have to make you safe, us safe. Be reasonable." Neither my firm, calm voice nor the words I'd said seemed to dent her blind hysteria.
"What? So you can just leave me? Arrivederci, crazy human! You can chase after your distractions and be free of the stray that wondered into your life and puked all over your ugly-ass loafers?" Her emotions of concern and fear had flashed to suspicion, anger, and more fear lightnin' quick. I actually felt fuckin' dizzy and more than a little fuckin' confused, like I was chasin' my tail when all I wanted was to have hers.
I didn't care that we had a room full of spectators watchin' us go at it like a fuckin' brawl on pay-per-view. I didn't bat an eye as we continued. I wanted to reassure her, I wanted to strangle her, and I wanted to kiss her senseless and then bend her over my knee for sayin' such a thing to me.
Strangely enough, it was Emmett's voice through my mind, sayin' one step forward and two back that cooled me down.
"Woman, I haven't the foggiest fuck what you are goin' on about. You're comin' with us." Shock emanated from more than just my hard-headed mate at that little announcement, but I didn't give a fuck. She wasn't stayin' here undefended and there weren't enough of us to divide our forces; we needed all the help we could get. I sent her my love and devotion and a good dose of my determination, and she slowly nodded.
"I didn't know we were bringing pets on this little jaunt. Don't you have a kennel arranged already?" Growls sounded from everyone in the room including Bella at Irina's comment. But the response came from the leggy blonde just walkin' in the door.
"Oh, I think we all know who the bitch is here, so let's not pretend otherwise."
AN: Push the button, you will. *jedi fingers* There might even be a little teaser action for ya….
Real quick, the Whitlock Harem (HammerHips, JaspersBella, and little ol' me) posted the first chap of our new fic, Comfortably Numb. It's dark but something different and we're excited about it. Go check it out! And no biggie if it's not your cuppa;-)
