Author's Note: Oops. Sorry I forgot to update sooner. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday season! Here's my present to you!
CHAPTER 28: The Right Touch
Astra was quiet the next few days, Caspian noticed. She picked at her food and flinched when anyone touched her. She was wary and closed-off, not her usually uninhibited and open self. It was unnerving and Caspian did not know what to do. He crept around the castle and around her, trying not to alarm her, but did just that in the end when she would whirl around to find him in the doorway, placing a relieved hand over her heart as if to say, "Oh, it's just you. I thought it was…"
It was dinner, a few days after the ball. It seemed as though the whole ordeal had blown over politically, but emotionally, things were fragile. The castle seemed quiet, spooky, no longer light and gay, but dark and with hidden mysteries lurking around the corner. Astra sighed, swirling her soup around in the bowl listlessly.
"When is Lady Hanalei coming over for supper?" Astra asked. Her voice was toneless and empty.
"I do not think now is the right time to be having guests," Caspian said delicately.
"And why is that?" she retorted, but there wasn't the usual sparkle in her eyes.
"I think we have had enough people in the castle for awhile."
"You mean the ball?" Caspian slowly nodded. "Invite her tomorrow night."
"Astra…"
"Good God!" she cried, standing up, her spoon clattering to the floor. "How much longer does this castle have to remain dead? It's suffocating, like walking through some god-damned cemetery. I'm not a porcelain doll; I don't break when someone drops me. Life goes on, Caspian. Life goes on," she said, slapping down her napkin on the table. "Oh, and if I don't see her pretty face at this table, there will be hell to pay," she growled before stalking out of the room.
"Malvolio, I need to write an urgent letter!" Caspian called, fearing for his life.
TwangThud. TwangThud. TwangThud.
"Can I help you?" she asked snappily. Most of them quickly coughed and looked to the ground sputtering for an answer. One was particularly flabbergasted.
"How do you do that?" the young man breathed.
"Come here, I'll show you," said Astra, bored and anxious to do something vaguely different. "Nope, drop your right elbow. Your other right. Good. Steady your arm. Look down the arrow. Well, do you see your feet? They're all wrong!" she cried, fixing him up until he met her standards. "It's a start. Next!" Astra, amused, tested all the archers like a drill sergeant, rather enjoying herself. "Come on, gents, it just takes the right touch!"
"Lady Astra, are you whipping my troops into shape?" asked Caspian, joining them on the archery lawn. The soldiers immediately bowed, but Astra simply stood there, regarding him as an equal.
"Someone's got to do it. Most of them are a bunch of fucking pansies," she snapped. She was in a bad mood. One soldier opened his mouth to retort and without even looking at the man, Astra pointed at him with a threatening finger. "Shut it." She cleared her throat. "Well, would you like to show your king that you aren't a bunch of fucking pansies after all?" The men nodded eagerly. "Have at it," she said, gesturing to the open targets. The men began showing their skills enthusiastically as Caspian and Astra quietly talked.
"If I may be so bold, you do not seem to be your normal self today." Astra did not respond. "Are you tired?"
"Yeah, I'm tired," she snapped. "I can't fucking sleep." They were quiet for a moment and Caspian's brows furrowed in thought. "Stop doing that."
"What?"
"You're worrying about me. You have enough to worry about, so stop it. Life goes on."
"Then why are you not moving on?" Astra looked at him, her eyes burning with anger.
"I was fucking attacked, Caspian," she hissed. "'Moving on' doesn't happen overnight," she went to push past him, but he grabbed her wrist and held her near him. "Let go," she whimpered, and he could hear the fear in her voice.
"No."
"I said let go," she repeated, her eyes tearing up.
"Stop pushing me away," he said softly, his eyes pleading her. She tried to yank her wrist away, but he took it with both hands and gently stroked the bruises with his thumbs. Her body relaxed, the guarded look in her eyes fell, and she was Astra for a moment, just a scared little girl, confused and asking for answers to unspoken questions. She leaned into him for a moment, closing her eyes; she knew that the soldiers would be watching, and did not want to make a spectacle, but his presence was comforting. She apologized with her eyes.
"So, is Lady Hanalei supping with us tonight?" she asked, and Caspian could almost make out that little twinkle in her eyes.
"Her family will actually be traveling for the next few months, so unfortunately no. She promised to attend the next ball, though, and sup as soon as she is back in the area." Caspian seemed a little disappointed, but still very hopeful at the prospect.
"Well, that's better than nothing. She's interested, it's a start. However, I do think you should open up Cair Paravel more."
"What do you mean?"
"Like, have guests for supper. Friends, lords, the like. It is time Cair Paravel did not just house the king, but the kingdom too. It can't just be the shiny castle on the cliffs, it has to mean more than that. I mean, you rebuilt the freaking thing, might as well put it to good use." Caspian thought about this, then nodded. "Maria and Malvolio will probably be thrilled with the prospect. Maria loves planning a good party and Malvolio loves controlling your life." Caspian frowned. "He can organize your social calendar," Astra added brightly. "Even Malvolio has his uses." Caspian frowned once again. "Well, I'm right, so… ha!" Caspian smiled.
"It is good to have you back." He realized he never let go of her wrist, his thumb still tracing lazy patterns on her arm.
"Don't get mushy, gushy, sentimental on me," she said, absentmindedly brushing him off. She saw the soldiers looking at them. "Hey, dipshits, eyes on the targets! Freaking morons…"
During the night, she felt a tingling sensation rush through her body, and woke up, knowing without actually knowing that the sensation was magic. She rolled over, seeing a large lion sitting aristocratically next to the window, his mane glowing in the moonlight.
"Aslan!" Astra cried, rushing to him.
"My dear child," he said affectionately, letting her press her face into his mane.
"It's been too long since I last saw you," she murmured.
"Well, you seemed to be managing on your own, as you would wish it to be so. I saw no reason to interfere until recent events." Astra hung her head. "Now, child, there is no reason to be ashamed."
"I screwed up, Aslan. I screwed up big time. I almost got Caspian in huge trouble. Like, ginormous trouble."
"It is not your fault."
"But it was." Aslan took a deep breath.
"Astra Gorlois, I believe that if you look at what happened that night, you would perhaps see more good as a result of the situation than bad."
"You call this 'good'?" she asked bitterly, holding up her bruised wrist. Aslan nuzzled it.
"We must all fight our own battles, Astra, but we do not have to fight alone. And, if you cannot fight for yourself, fight for him." Astra knew what Aslan meant by "him": it was Caspian. "Otherwise, he will take on the world alone, a battle no one can win." Astra nodded sorrowfully. "He has six months until his quest to find the Seven Great Lords. He still needs you." Astra knew the deal: she helped Caspian, she would be able to return to Oxford. "Good night, child. Sleep well."
And, for the first night since the ball, Astra did just that.
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