Chapter 28: The Funeral

Wednesday March 22nd, 4:32 pm

SIRIUS

Sometimes I'll be sitting and for a moment life will seem normal. The fear, the sadness, the anger, it's like it doesn't exist. I wonder when the moment occurred where life decided to change, the moment where we went from happy carefree children to mourning young adults. Maybe I'm being too optimistic in saying we ever had a carefree childhood. My entire life has been spent tiptoeing the border of childhood and war. It is now that war has finally won. I know my last breath will be drawn while I'm fighting this war, fighting Voldemort, fighting those who murdered Kurt Potter.

A sudden pressure on my right hand snaps me out of my daze and I shake my head, reminded of where I am. I look to my right and Avery is sitting beside me, her face void of any emotion as she stares blankly ahead of her. Her face remains blank so that she can remain strong for me, I see her forced smiles and her attempts at conversation are all for my benefit, so that I don't crumble. I squeeze her hand back to show that I can still function, that I haven't completely lost it. Avery slowly reaches out, moving with care as if afraid that a sudden movement will frighten me. She moves her hand to the back of my neck and carelessly plays with my hair.

"You should talk to him," she whispers to me.

I follow her eyesight and am directed to James. He's sitting on a couch, his head smothered in his hands that are positioned on his knees. People are surrounding him, his mother, Lily, the funeral director. They're asking him questions, wanting him to take charge, but he can't. And I can't bear to go near him, I'm afraid if I even look at him in the eyes we'll both lose it and there will be no one here to comfort Jane Potter.

"I can't," I respond in a voice that sounds foreign to my ears.

"He needs you," Avery insists.

"He needs his dad," I struggle to finish.

Avery sighs and moves the bangs from my eyes, forcing me to look at her. "He needs you." She repeats firmly. "You're the only one that can help him Sirius, you're his brother."

Her words are all it takes for me to realize I'm not doing my part, not there for James. It feels like another person is controlling my body as I stand up and make my slow way over to James. As soon as I approach the people surrounding James stop talking and stare at me. James doesn't notice the change in the room and keeps his head in his hands.

"Tea anyone?" Avery suggests, rising from her seat and ushering everyone out of the living room. I look after her and give her a grateful smile, she mouths an encouraging 'I love you' before closing the door behind her, leaving James and I alone.

If James has noticed the change he doesn't acknowledge it. "Prongs," I say numbly. James raises his head from his hands and looks at me. The look he gives me causes my heart to constrict and I'm afraid that any moment I'll lose it. His eyes, which are usually filled with mirth and secrets, are red and heavy with the loss of a loved one. I sink into the couch next to him, the couch giving away to my weight lets out a quiet squeak.

For a long time we just sit on the couch, both reflecting on the person we've lost, both feeling anger for the death eater that took his life. They haven't tracked down his murderer, he's still wandering the streets as a free man. Kurt was murdered at a hospital. St. Mungo's had been under attack, Voldemort, the cowardly bastard he is, sought to destroy the hospital so that people could no longer receive help. Kurt was sent to clean up the hospital and restore it and to locate those involved in it's attempt at destruction, luckily the hospital still stands and repairs are almost done being made.

Kurt was working on repairing the psych unit of the hospital when the death eaters appeared again, obviously back to finish their work. He was defenseless, the death eater attacked him from behind. He was killed with the avada kedavra, the attack was quick, his death was brief.

James started digging in his pocket, after a few moments he pulled his hand out, something clutched in his fist. He slowly opened his hand and a snitch laid motionless in it. "He gave this to me for my fifth birthday," James said smiling, twirling the snitch in his fingers. "I named it Harry."

James let the snitch go and the wings sprouted out, the snitch hovered a foot in front of us. We sat in silence and watched the snitch as it floated around the room. The movements were slow, I had never seen a snitch act so tame before. After a few minutes I finally spoke, "Harry is an awful name, mate."

The first sign of joy reflected in James' eyes as he stared ahead at the snitch. "Harry is not an awful name."

"Yes it is, reminds me of an old man."

"Harry is a strong and powerful name," James said, his voice starting to gain that confidence that it usually held. "In fact, I'm going to name my son Harry. Either that or Chudley, after the Chudley Cannons of course."

I laughed loudly, the sound echoing off the abandoned room. My laughter caused Avery and Lily to poke their heads in. Upon seeing us interact Lily let out a sigh and walked near James. "Well mate, if you're going to have a son I want one too."

"And who do you think is going to give you this son, Sirius Black?" Avery asked, the first real smile on her face as she came over and sat on my lap.

"Well if you won't babes then I'm just going to have to find someone else who will." Avery hit me with the back of her hand and I nuzzled my face into her hair, breathing in her scent. "And he will be named Falmouth, after the Falmouth Falcons of course, the only decent team in the league."

"You two are not equipped for children," Lily said, a giggle escaping her mouth. "You two can barely keep after yourselves, let alone another human being."

"Wouldn't you like a little version of me running around?" James asked Lily.

Lily smiled and shook her head, "you cause enough raucous as it is, I don't think the world can handle another James Potter."

"You'll see, we'll have a little Harry flying around on a broomstick in a few years time Lils."

"And if James has one I get one too," I commented, earning a eye roll from Avery.

"Maybe if you're good and put your socks away when I ask we'll get a pet rock, I think that's a good place to start in having to care for something." Avery said, patting my head.

"Well if Sirius gets a pet rock then I get one too," James said wrapping his arms around Lily's waist.

"We'll talk about it later." Lily said in a soothing voice, as if coaxing a child out of wanting a toy.

Our laughter eventually died down and a silence hung over us. With this silence it brought more reflection. The snitch was darting around the room, the sound of it's wings slicing through the air the only noise that could be heard. After a few moments James stood up from the couch and walked over to the snitch. He grabbed the snitch in his hand and it retracted it's wings. James stared down at the snitch for a long moment before speaking.

"It's real, isn't it?" He asked looking at us, speaking before any of us could respond. "The war, that is. It's not just something for us to be cautious about."

No one responded, we all knew the answer. Whether we wanted to admit it or not once we leave the safe walls of Hogwarts we're on our own, and death will only become all too familiar to us.

The funeral occurred the next day. Remus and Peter had been excused from class in order to join the ceremony. Unlike James, Lily, Avery and I they weren't allowed to miss the past two days. James and his mother were already at Godric's Hollow cemetery. I was waiting for Avery and Lily to finish getting ready so I could escort them to the funeral.

Remus, Peter and I were sitting on the couch, eating some h'oderves prepared for after the funeral and sipping tea. Soon enough we heard the clicking of heals against the stairs, signaling Lily and Avery's entrance. Both girls were dressed in black, neither wearing make up. Their look was simple, as if to make sure no attention would be focused on them.

Avery's arm was linked through Lily's, and it looked like without James Lily was having to use Avery as a support system. Lily's eyes were red and her skin was blotchy from crying. Avery look collected in comparison but as soon as she locked eyes with me her tough exterior vanished.

"It's time to go," Remus said authoritatively as he rounded us all together. We locked hands and with a pop we disapparated to the cemetery.

A large crowd had already gathered in the cemetery. James and Jane stood at the front as people came over to them to offer their condolences. They shook hands and hugged until everyone was in their seats facing a closed casket. I kissed Avery on the cheek and walked over to James. With him and Jane I sat in the front row while everyone else sat behind me.

A man stood at the front of all of us, resting his hands on a podium as he spoke. He talked of life and death and how it is all part of our time on earth. What he failed to mention is that murder is usually not something you expect to happen to you. His speech was vague, he knew nothing about Kurt. He didn't know how loyal he was to his family, or how good of a wizard he was. He didn't know that for the past ten years of his life he's had worn the same pair of slippers that James had gotten him for his birthday one year. He didn't know that he had married Jane at the age of twenty but they didn't have James until their late thirties.

After his speech he allowed a few moments silence for us to mourn the loss of Kurt Potter. After the moment had passed he called up James to the podium. James hadn't mentioned to any of us he was going to speak so this news came as a surprise.

I could see his hands shaking as he gripped onto the podium for support. He drew in a few steadying breaths before speaking. "I know I'm supposed to talk about how great of a man my father was and how him dying will forever change me. I think all of these things can go without saying. Those who knew my father knew him to be strong, wise and kind, if not a little irrational. The last trait is one I'm particularly proud of saying I inherited." A tentative laugh rippled out in the crowd, allowing James to steady his breathing and continue. "There's a war going on out there, one way or another it's going to effect all of us. The people out there are nothing but cowards, they attacked my father while he was defenseless, unprepared."

James started choking on his words and I could feel my throat starting to close. I slipped my hand through the opening in the back of the seat and Avery was quick to grab it. "Let my father's death be a sign to all of you that we must remain strong, that we must fight. There's a war out there and it's spreading like fire in a dry meadow." James looked down at the podium, his lips pursed in concentration. When he looked up his eyes were filled with an intensity I've never seen before in him. He was intimidating, powerful, the exact leader the entire school saw him to be. "My father hasn't been the only death, and his won't be the last. The fight against Voldemort starts now. Now, before it's one of you standing up here saying goodbye to a loved one."

James quickly left the stage and with him followed a stunned silence. Jane stood up from her seat and James walked into her arms. They stood in front of all of us embracing each other and crying. The moment felt so fragile and personal I felt inclined to ask everyone to look away. They only let go when the casket was picked up and carried out of the area and towards his grave.

It was surreal as they lowered his casket into the ground. With the use of magic it almost looked majestic as it was set in the grave, slowly being lowered into the ground where dirt quickly covered it. The crowd cleared out once the casket was buried. The eight of us remained by his grave, standing over the freshly packed dirt. Jane was silently crying, her tears falling onto the ground and getting lost in the soil. James perked up and fished through his bag, as if just remembering something. He pulled out a pair of old and battered slippers and set them down in front of his gravestone.

James put an enchantment on the slippers and stepped back, smiling and admiring his work. "He always said he would wear these until the day he died."

Once back at the Potter's house we were all surprised when we found Albus Dumbledore sitting in their living room, eating lemon drops.

"Sorry for the intrusion, I only just arrived," Dumbledore said, standing up upon our arrival.

"You are welcome anytime Albus, can I get you anything?" Mrs. Potter offered, dabbing at the corner of her eyes.

"Tea would be appreciated Jane," Dumbledore said with a nod of his head. Mrs. Potter smiled and walked into the kitchen. "Forgive me for not making it to the ceremony, I was detained at school."

"It's no problem professor," James said gesturing towards a chair where he and Dumbledore could be seated.

"My deepest condolences for your loss," Dumbledore said quietly. James nodded his appreciation. "I'm afraid I have other matters to discuss and that this isn't a moment to exchange pleasantries." Dumbledore looked at all of us and we suddenly became aware that this moment was directed towards everyone. "After your fathers death there have been more attacks. Voldemort has become such a threat many people have gone into hiding, some are even so frightened they can't utter his."

"Sorry sir," Lily said interjecting. "What do you mean they can't utter his name?"

"It appears the sound of his name alone is enough to cause panic, in some circles he is now being referred to as You-Know-Who."

"You-Know-Who," I barked out. "I can't imagine that name sticking for very long, completely ridiculous."

"Some people aren't as adept to handling war as others," Dumbledore said. "People will find comfort in the oddest things in times like these. Which brings me back to why I've come here. With people going into hiding they need to have a sense of security. Ms. Muze, with your permission I would like to be able to teach people some of the defensive techniques you have created. If you agree to this I would also have to ask that you help show people how to administer these techniques. On top of that I have been told you can perform some excellent shielding charms. I hadn't expected to ask for any of your help so soon but times are unpredictable now."

"Avery has only just joined the Order, the rest of us have been in it for months now and you haven't asked anything of us." I said slightly attacking Dumbledore. James had only lost his father and now he wants Avery to fight in against the very people that killed Kurt?

"It is poor timing, I agree Mr. Black. Avery's contributions are needed right now."

"And what about our contributions?" I hissed, my voice growing cold. Avery reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it and giving me a reassuring look.

"Sirius, once in battle is when you're needed, but Dumbledore needs me now." Avery said diplomatically. The maturity and authoritative stance surprised me, I had never seen her so sure of herself. She then turned her attention back to Dumbledore, "whatever you need me for I'm willing to help."

Dumbledore nodded and rose from his chair. "Thank you Ms. Muze, I'm sorry that this meeting wasn't very pleasant given the current circumstance. Once you get back to school Ms. Muze we will further discuss our strategy. I will see you all tomorrow, tell your mother I'm sorry I couldn't stay around for tea." He gave us one last smile before spinning around and disaparating.

"Avery," I started but was quickly cut off.

"We can't go through this every time Sirius," she said firmly. Her tone was hard, not angry. "It was only a matter of time before one of us was asked to do something, what Dumbledore has asked of me sounds reasonably safe but there's going to be more times he will ask, and I'm sure they will become more dangerous as time goes on. You can't fly off the handle every time I'm asked to help. If this is going to become an issue then our relationship will end, I love you but there's a bigger picture we're working towards. If this is a matter of you thinking my abilities aren't up to par then-"

"Of course not!" I quickly interjected. "You know I think you're fully capable of completely any task Dumbledore asks of you."

"Then we will not talk about this again," Avery said rising from her seat. "I'm going to go take a nap, I don't know about the rest of you but I'm knackered." I watched Avery walk up the stairs, in slight admiration of how she handled the situation even though it was at my expense. The moment abruptly ended however, when she stepped on the front of her dress and fell down the stairs.

This is why I love her.

A/N: holy fast update batman. What has it been, 5 hours since I've posted Chapter 27? I was on a role writing and didn't want to end it and went with it. I'm pretty pleased with this chapter. It's shorter than most of my chapters but I accomplished what I wanted to and felt like it was a good moment to end it. Like always leave a review dearies :) also I've hit over 100,000 words, how is this possible? I've never gotten past 4 chapters in a story before!