Chapter twenty-seven: A Difficult Decision

Zero.

Why did this bother him so much? Why did he want to wait another two Resets? His soul writhed with protest when he thought of what that would do to his reputation. Papyrus nearly tripped once again in his wandering. It was slight, but he could sense he was moving uphill. He walked with no ounce of urgency, and had no desire to return. He wasn't supposed to care much for anyone. What would people think if-

There it was, that strange feeling he couldn't bring himself to understand. There would be time to think of all this later, he told himself. There was no need to fret about everything now. Now was the time to reach his abode without being seen in such a state. He was still injured. He needed to rest. Things would make sense after that. He wouldn't feel so strangely horrible about what had taken place.

OoOoOoOoOo

"Papyrus! Wh-what happened? Where the heck did you go?"

"Are you okay?"

"I thought I told you not to do that again!"

"I was…. Out for a walk," he told the distressed duo. "Eventually I wound up somewhere in Waterfall. There was a bridge, and it failed. Alphys fell sometime after me."

They'd followed him into the dinning room, brimming with concern. He felt nothing anymore, nothing but tiredness. It had been an exhausting trek. What he felt was a different type of weariness, however. There at the table he sat and his gaze fell upon a tiny collection of crumbs. Emotion sparked within him: Severe irritation. Since when did such an insignificant thing affect him so much? He swept them from the wooden surface. Out of sight, but not out of mind. He should sweep later. With this temporary solution, his "insides" became lifeless once more.

"Is she okay?"

"She's dead."

Sans stared as though not fully believing those words. Recovering immediately, the response was, "well, then, we'll just have to wait until the Reset after this one. Then we can all go see the surface together!"

"We're not waiting." He'd made up his mind on the way back. That which he feared was growing in power. They wouldn't be waiting. They couldn't. She wouldn't have waited if in his position, and he refused to extend such courtesy. It was only fair. It was the right thing to do. So why did saying that bring invisible claws to tighten their grip on his soul?

"What? What are you talking about? Of course we're waiting! We have to! She's our sister!"

He almost explained why they were leaving her behind. Would finally telling his brother the truth make it easier for Sans to accept the situation? Maybe, he thought for one meaningless moment, his childish sibling would understand. It was a short lived instant. No. The truth would be far worse than any story he could conjure. And why let his brother go on this long believing what he did, just to destroy it all?

"Alphys was selfish, but even she wouldn't want us to risk staying here. Those creatures are only getting stronger. The sooner we leave, the better."

"But-but-we can't-there's-no! Papyrus!"

He refused to listen, climbing the stairs as he thought. Tiredness dulled his mind more and more with each step. He battled silently against dizziness. Scenes played out that only he could see. Papyrus tried to convince himself of his own words. It was a vain endeavor, as he knew each syllable helped form an empty promise.

Why'd you let me die? Her voice questioned.

I didn't.

But you won't wait for the Reset. Isn't that the same thing?

I thought I'd gotten rid of you!

That's real funny.

Go away!

Or what?

The voice was certainly not trying to help, as it had claimed. It had let him think he was alone in his mind. It had given him some form of peace, only to destroy that sense of solitude. Having this uninvited company return infuriated him. At the same time, he felt strangely relieved. He stood at his bedroom door, caught up in this internal conflict. He was arguing with himself again. No, wait. The voice wasn't him. It didn't sound like him. What did it sound like?

Sleep. He needed sleep. At last entering his room, he stumbled over to the bed. The voice he heard distorted to the point of being indiscernible. The noises acted as a lullaby. Everything would make sense again after some rest. If he kept telling himself that, perhaps it would be true.

You don't want to leave her behind. So don't, his dreams whispered. But he refused to change his mind.