Thor made a point to bring them before Odin himself, and stood by his brother. He held his hammer defensively.
"Get that thing away from me," Loki sneered, glancing down at Mjolnir. Thor looked down at it too, and his brow furrowed.
Loki's afraid of you. Bella's voice rattled through his head, and he put the hammer down on the ground. Loki visibly relaxed, slightly. He was about to face Odin, and somehow not crack.
Bella put a hand on his shoulder, "cool it, Frozone. If anyone's gonna cry, it'll be me."
"Nice decor," Tony marveled at the throne room, mostly deserted except for Sif and the Warriors Three, standing off to Odin's side as he sat on his throne, eyeing them beadily. "I am so doing my bar like this!"
Loki rolled his eyes, "oh, lord . . ."
Bella smiled politely if a little thinly, "four thousand years and two kids," she mused, "performance issues. Nothing to be ashamed of."
Loki looked at her, "you're just as bad as each other."
Bella smiled a cheesy movie star grin, "totes amazeballs."
"What?"
"I dunno," Bella admitted, a little deflated.
To be honest, Odin looked like a nasty Santa Claus, like if the Hells Angels were organizing the Christmas party at the children's hospital. His missing eye was covered by a golden patch and his beard, while grizzled, was neatly combed, he was dressed simply in robes, and was missing his pointy hat.
"Damn, that throne looks uncomfortable," Bella winced as they approached closer.
"It is not made for comfort," Loki's eyes narrowed, "it is made for intimidation."
"I think it's cool," Tony replied, "I want it."
"You would," Bella scoffed.
"Come no further," Odin bellowed, and Loki's shoulders drooped. He had seen this coming. "Remove your weapons." He eyed Loki beadily, as if expecting him to disappear or otherwise lob a grenade at him.
"Don't look at me," Tony told the old man, "the suit keeps me alive," it was partially true, or at least it would have been a few years ago. He wasn't sure if Odin bought it or not.
Loki arched an eyebrow and pulled a few knifes from his coat, "hold these, Thor," he handed them to his brother delicately, "no stabbing, I already feel terrible, I believe I have the Flu." Thor nodded to him demurely, even though he did not completely understand, "Now the only weapon I possess it my razor sharp wit," he never broke eye contact with his adoptive father, "one which I shall only relinquish with my last breath."
"Nice one, Starscream," Tony clapped his shoulder. Loki looked down at the Deceptacon symbol on his shirt then back up at Tony, an eyebrow arched, his 'we are not amused' face.
Bella sighed and approached one of the larger tables that had not been packed away yet from the previous night's feasting. The warriors three eyed her carefully, Volstagg and Hugun both no doubt wondering when she would strike, and Fandral had nothing running through his mind except 'damn, damn, damn!'
She removed two side arms from her belt, followed by a couple of grenades, fragmentation grenades, flash-bangs. She removed one set of pointed brass knuckles from an inside coat pocket followed by three or four knives. She removed more guns and knives from her thigh holsters and from inside her boots. She unstrapped several ammo belts from the inside of her thighs. She reached down her back, removing a long dagger from along her spine. She appraised it before putting that too on the table. Then she reached down her bra and retrieved a large amount of plastique explosive, and Fandral's eyes popped.
"What? No armored car?" Loki looked at her bemused.
"That would be in my other coat, Starscream," she straightened her coat back up and approached the throne slightly, "are you satisfied?"
He nodded demurely, and Bella got that creepy feeling she always did when she went to church, of course, one had to remember that while she was raised catholic, she only went to church when people died.
"Let me do the talking," Loki demanded and Bella shrugged. Tony didn't really care much, and decided to just sit back and chill for the meantime, "suck in the gut, Tony, you're an Avenger."
"Bite my shiny metal ass."
"We seek audience with the Allfather."
"That is most civil for you, Loki."
"This is a rather important issue I bring before you," Loki blinked a couple of times, but he was no less intense, "Utgardaloki." He began to kneel down, but then there was a massive crack and his knee locked, "A little help, please," Bella kicked the back of his knee, bringing him to the ground, "kindly rethink your definition of help."
"Bite me, Spaceman."
"Just kneel."
"Listen, Frosty, just because," she waved her hand, "Grandpa here is the self-proclaimed dictator of a non-existent empire does not mean that I have to kneel before him like a five buck-."
"Shut up, Bella," Loki snapped, "just to it."
"I see where you get it from," Tony replied snidely.
"Shut up, Tony," Loki snapped, "let me do the talking."
"Utgardaloki has been dead for hundreds of years," Odin snapped, choosing to ignore the insolent bickering of children, or that was how Loki thought that the old man saw it. He got up again. It was pointless to try to act all civilized now the air of decorum had been shattered.
"He's got a pretty loud voice for a dead guy," Tony replied.
"He clearly was live enough to snatch my daughter, wasn't he?" Bella snapped back at him, "and he doesn't believe me," she growled.
"Is there anyone else that can substantiate your claim, Human?" Odin narrowed his eye at her, but she was not at all fazed. At this moment, she did not give a shit about what he called her. All she needed was an excuse, but with a protective forearm, Loki held her back.
"Tony Stark, your honor," Tony stepped up and saluted, "I was there, and before you ask, Loki tried to kill me and drank all my gin, so this is in no way a ploy. I would never be on his side if I hadn't seen Sophia get taken with my own eyes."
Odin cocked his head.
"He doesn't care," Bella snarled.
"Let me handle it," Loki snapped.
"And you're doing a fantastic job," Bella shot back, "fine, stellar, remarkable, incredible, marvelous, dandy, fuckin' peachy . . ."
"Thank you for all the adjectives," Loki's eyes narrowed, "it does not matter if you believe me or not," he suddenly became very dark and serious, crossing her arms, "what does matter is that I need a small contingent of men, and Gugnir at my disposal in order to stop this catastrophe and save Sophia De Martino from whatever fate Utgardloki has in store for her."
"Even if I could bring myself to believe you," he started, "what you ask of me is impossible. I can spare no men, and Gugnir is missing."
He rolled his eyes, "unbelievable . . . the one time that damn spear has actually been needed in over a thousand years," he shook his head, "you? Lose it . . ."
"I cannot help you," he told them flatly, "but according to the terms of the Asgard-Midgard alliance, I am authorized to place you under arrest.
"That sounds more like 'won't' than 'can't'," Tony arched an eyebrow.
"Hulk sanction!" Loki glanced at Bella wearing a tiny grin.
"Nah," Bella said, "Odin smash."
"I like that," he smiled, but as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared and he looked Odin in the eye, "I have escaped from the dungeon before," he threatened, "and if you do not afford me what I desire, I shall be forced to take it from you."
"At the jeopardy of the nine realms?" Odin seemed bemused, "arrest them! This meeting is over."
"Shit," Bella muttered as four warriors bared down at him, "who are these schmucks, Lokes?"
"May I introduce you to Lady Sif and the Warriors Three," Loki said quickly, and within a second, they were back to back, ready to fight their way out.
"That sounds like a bad pop group," she replied, balling her fists.
Loki's lips quirked slightly, "I think I may love you."
"Wait," Thor said simply, Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral stopped in their tracks, as did Sif.
"I said arrest them!"
"And I said wait."
"I am ordering you as your king!"
"I am asking you as your friend."
And that was when Odin stood and bared down on Thor, "how dare you countermand a direct order from me?"
"Oh, I dare," Thor smiled savagely, "the one thing I have learned from Loki is to dare. I will not condemn my own brother to the executioners' blade because of a desperate attempt to warn you of a danger you are too foolish to see."
"I have ruled longer than some stars have burned, and you still question my sight?"
"Perhaps it is a good time to make an appointment with the optometrist, you might need a pair of glasses," Tony quipped, "may I suggest the Ringo Starr special?" Either nobody heard him or nobody cared, either of which was a distinct possibility.
"You are not fit to rule!"
"I do not want to rule!" Thor boomed, "I saw my brother tainted by corruption and greed, and I saw you regress into a shadow of the man you once were for the same reason."
"Enough!" Bella flexed her fingers on her metallic hand, and the spring-loaded knife shot into her palm. As quick as a flash, she curved her arm and flung the knife. It missed Odin, it was not meant to hit Odin, but instead lodged into the backrest of the throne, drilling deep into it. Both the king's and the prince's eyes boggled.
Stark's eyes widened too underneath his mask, "we're all gonna die."
With a swipe of her hand, the great doors at the end of the hall slammed shut like a bolt of thunder, and even Loki jumped. Odin's pets did not seem sure of what to do.
"Yo, Wisenheimer," she approached him, her coat flailing out behind her as she climbed the stairs to retrieve the knife, "yeah, I'm talking to you. You screwed the pooch this time, pal."
"It's somewhere between FUBAR and TARFU," Tony explained to Loki, but his brow furrowed deep anyway.
"Humans are strange."
"That's the last little piece of the puzzle I needed, the puzzle called Loki, and that piece has your name written all over it, buddy," she pulled the knife from the stone with her metallic right hand and pointed it at him, "this," she mentioned to Loki with the tip of the knife, "is your son, your creation."
"He is not my son," Odin leered at her.
"Jesus H, Christ," Bella moaned, "do I have to explain this to the pair of you idiots?" she sighed, "family has absolutely nothing to do with blood. The moment you picked up that adorable blue baby, he became your family," she grinned, "and then you started fucking up. You raised two boys so that one would end up hating the other. First there was Thor, the big one, the strong one, the one Daddy loves. And Loki, the other one, spare parts so to speak. A stolen relic locked up here until you have use of him," she narrowed her eyes at him; "you never listened, or helped. The only one that even gave a shit about Loki was Frigga, his dear, departed Mama. He needed attention, so he got it the only way he knew how. He lashed out."
Loki listened to her, biting his lip and slowly becoming more and more uncomfortable. Thor watched Bella although she was some sort of witch. He rejoined his brother at the bottom of the stairs and put a hand on his back to steady him.
"Soon he discovered that the more intricate and disastrous he made his schemes, the more attention he would get, and gets in worse and worse trouble. It is the only way for him to get the attention he craves from you, and you reinforced this trickery," she arched an eyebrow, "and I don't know about your cunning plan for him, but there are princesses of Jodunheim are there not?" she looked him in the eye, "I reckon you wanted to install him as a puppet king, to impose your rule on Jodelheim. Am I right?" she asked softly, her voice a million daggers, "but he didn't wanna play ball. You conveniently went nappy-poos and he decided to prove to you that he was worthy, and he went completely overboard with it."
"But that childish desire ended the moment he fell from Bifrost, the moment he let go, also because of you. You said 'no'," She said simply, "confirming all his fears of abandonment. You lost all your faith in him, so he lost all faith in himself, and he let go, and fell," she paced before him, "there are cracks, separating the universe we know and other universes, and Loki fell right through one and found the Chitauri, a warrior race that consumes entire galaxies, feeding on life forces, a hive species. They saw him as an opportunity, to lead them to richer hunting grounds. They tortured him, but he resisted, until his mind was overrun by the Hive. He hid deep within himself, but found only pain, which is why he wanted to kill his brother so badly. Even now he refuses all help for the pain we know he is suffering. He was conditioned that the only person he could truly trust was himself. You made him the way he is."
"How?"
"You see, he has always held himself up to some pretty rigid standards, to you, to Thor. He strives to be just like you, all he has ever done was try to prove to himself that he was worthy of the name Odinson," she smiled slightly, humorlessly, "you see, part of Loki is still that annoying little kid that used to follow you around wherever you went. He idolizes you, looks up to you, and then he sees what you have done and thinks that it is right. And he also scorns himself, for not being you, not being able to cope like you do. No matter what he does, he can never live up to you. Have you ever told him that you were proud?" she sneered, "and that is why he has never been certain of himself and therefore is weak, it drove him mad," she turned back to face Loki who had gone deathly pale, "until I grabbed him by the ear and dragged him kicking and screaming into the real world."
He looked up at her, his eyes slightly dewy, "where the hell did you learn so much about me?"
"Internet?" Tony offered.
She nodded to him then reasserted her gaze and attention back to Odin, "now, do you see, oh heavenly father, your kid's been screwed. And don't you dare tell me he's not your son, because he damn well is. You made him into this monster. And for what? So you can sit back in your comfy throne and go 'oh well, he's not my son anyway' and 'someone else will deal with him'. You might as well have just told him to his face that his thoughts were invalid, nobody gave a crap about his ideas and you would like him better if he was like normal kids. And you stroke your own ego by telling yourself that these past thousand and fifty years meant nothing, and that you know right," her lips tightened, a clear sign that she was getting angry, "you're supposed to be this magnificent, omnipotent being, but you seem to me like a colossal prick with a Hasbro magic kit. You make me sick. I'm sick of your act as a benevolent being, I am sick of the way you treat those around you, and I am sick of the way you and your dipshit followers tell me that you're gonna kick my ass if I don't do what you say, that all you have to do is scratch your space-balls and everybody gets struck up the ass with a bolt of lightning. So, come on, come on down here! Kick my ass!"
Odin was fuming, "you're insolence is appalling. You will be severely punished for this."
"I don't think you have the balls," she narrowed her eyes, "oh, right, I'm forgetting something, you're a bearded, mythical fuck on a golden throne and I'm just a pitiful, little Midgardian, right? But I can walk right up to you and slap the living shit out of you, and all you can do is whine about it, right?"
There was a long awkward silence, and nobody moved.
"Now you will listen to me," Loki sneered, "I don't want your power. I do not care for Asgard any longer. I do not want to be here, I may leave my life knowing as little as Tony."
"Hey!"
"I don't want to rule, anything, which is the only thing that Thor and I have in common. There's a little girl out there in the hands of a maniacal sorcerer, most probably scared out of her wits," he cocked his head dangerously, "my only wish is to save her life. She is my best friend, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to her because of me. I do believe you were once the same."
Odin's demeanor didn't change, "that is how monsters such as you live. Every so often, you spare one, often on a whim, because she smiled, or because he is polite-."
Loki held up a finger for quiet, and then smiled, "only a monster would know that," his grin became more and more savage, "I guess I am your son after all."
Bella grinned. It was Loki's turn to hand out some cuss, "oorah. Sass that prick!"
"And as we are so much alike, I know the purpose of the Asgard-Midgard alliance. It is to stunt human evolution is it not?" his lips flattened, "to make sure that the humans rely on you and cannot advance on their own," he grinned, "they may have stopped believing in us, you never stopped ruling them, did you? But now you do so under the futile guise of protection."
"Oorah," Bella cheered him on.
"Is it not enough to rule all of Asgard and to have the mighty Jotuns cower at your feet? Is it not enough to 'protect' the realms with an iron fist? You have to pose as a benevolent ruler to allow you to control the last wildcard in all the reams, the least advanced and by far the most ingenious of the peoples I have come across this far. At least I was honest," he took a few giant steps closer; "at least I never pretended to be something I was not. I see there is one rule for the king and another for everybody else," he spread his arms self-importantly, "I do have blood on my hands, however you have blood all over. I understand I can never make amends for my actions, but I do not pretend they never happened," he gritted his teeth, out of breath; "It means that I have a chance of redemption."
"Why are you staring at my brother?" Thor whispered to Bella.
"Selfless concern. I think he's stopped breathing."
"You are a murderer and a thief!" Odin bellowed.
"How are you any different, All-father?" he screamed back, "except I understand that I can never wash the blood from my hands! You continue to lie, to fix your reputation, as it is," there was venom dripping from him, "a kingdom built on murder and deceit, spreading through the realms like a plague. All you do is lie, and lie and lie. Do you ever stop?"
"Holy shit," Bella whispered, "is he turning blue?"
"Yes, he is," Thor confirmed.
"He's definitely stopped breathing."
"I may have spent most of my life making underhanded deals with our enemies, but it is better than destroying everything in your path with little more than a thought and a twitch with no regard for life," black veins began to pop out in his neck and along his forehead, and Sif gasped. This was apparently new for them.
"And you believe that by saving one pitiful mortal, you can make amends for the innocent lives you have taken?"
And that was when Loki exploded completely. The walls began to shake, and frost started creeping on the steps leading up to Odin's throne, "no," he said simply, "have you not been listening you senile, old goat? I cannot wash the blood from my hands, and so I shall not even attempt it. Nothing I can do will save me from the spirits of those I have killed, but before I die, I would like to do one good thing, just one. And Sophia is not pitiful! She is smart and kind, and you are an asshole!" he bellowed back, "I don't care what you say. I don't care what anyone says. I will march through the gates of Niffleheim to save her, and don't you even dare tell me I cannot. I have a new duty, a new purpose, and if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass, you can kiss my entire ass!"
"Oorah!" Bella shouted, pumping her fists, "oo-fucking-rah!"
"I will join you, Brother," Thor clasped him on the shoulder, and for the first time in years, Loki smiled at him, his eyes almost teary as he re-assumed his original form.
"I am damn proud of you," Bella punched his arm playfully.
"Then you know I'm in," Sif walked across the room just to join their party.
"Its madness," Volstagg insisted, "I shall join you."
"It'll be fun," Fandral said with a sneaky grin.
"This is an honorable pursuit," Hogun added.
"We're in," Fandral said for them.
Loki's smile only got wider, "semper fi," he whispered to Bella.
"Semper fi."
And that was about when the guards busted down the door, "shit."
