A/N: first, I'd like to apologize for messing up on the time zones last time. I had originally written it as Lima being an hour behind NY but then when I looked it up, it said it was the same time zone? I don't know, so it confused me.

Disclaimer: I have no idea if programs such as the one talked about here exist at the university mentioned or any place else, but I'm taking some liberties for the purposes of this story :)

as always, thank you for the reviews and the love

-TWiM

Chapter 28 - Hey There Delilah (Plain White T's)

Rachel is pulling her clothes back on when I tell her, "I'm counting down the days to see you." I look at the calendar I set up on my wall. It was the first thing I did when I got home. It says "Rach" on June 13, and I've already crossed out yesterday.

"42 days and counting," she says and gives me a dopy smile. It's that smile she reserves for me when she doesn't know what else to say because she's overwhelmed.

"Baby," I whine. She exhales forceful air through her nose and closes her eyes. Then she looks at me and I say, "42 days ain't nothing."

She bites her bottom lip, "Yeah, you're right. It'll go by so fast and then next thing we know we're fighting over covers again."


I hear the doorbell ring and Rachel asks if I have to go. I tell her no, and then ten seconds later, someone is knocking on my door. Before I have the chance to say anything, the door flies open and Britt bounces in wearing beige shorts a white shirt and a bright orange visor. She's probably the only person in the world who can make a visor look good. I smile and call her over.

"I'm skyping Rachel," I inform her. "Say hi."

She stops next to me and leans down to look into the camera, "hi, Rachel!" I pull her onto the bed and she sits on the edge. "Good morning! Q and I are off job hunting today!"

"So she tells me," Rachel says, smiling. Britt's presence is contagious.

"We don't have to go anytime soon though so I'm going to go downstairs and see if Aunt Judy needs help with anything." She blows Rachel a kiss and then kisses my cheek, before getting up and leaving the room.

Rachel leans her head on her hand and looks at me, dreamily. I tell her, "maybe I should go so Britt doesn't accidentally spill to my mother the things you and I do together." I purse my lips, contemplating the awkwardness that that conversation would ensue.

She laughs and groans at the same time, "that would be awful." She rolls her eyes and then smiles. A finger disappears to the bottom of my screen. "You're absolutely gorgeous and I love you."

"I love you, darling. I'll talk to you later, okay? I can call before going out, or you can call - doesn't matter."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."


Britt looks back to smile at me and offers me her hand. I grab it and smile at Mike. He seems genuinely okay with being out with just the two of us tonight. We are at a new club they opened in downtown. Britt insisted we go dancing, and she said Santana told her I have to take care of her. I laughed but Britt seemed pretty serious about it so maybe Santana was too.

I know how Britt gets. She dances with everyone for fun; she drinks anything; she will kiss random people if it isn't anything serious. So I see how Santana could worry. Mike offers to get us drinks while Britt drags me to the dance floor.

Being on the dance floor with her actually brings me memories of the first time Britt and I danced danced together. I'm pretty sure it was after that dance that I realized my attraction to girls.

It was end of Freshman year and we were at one of the jocks' houseparty. Britt forced me to dance with her because she noticed I had been watching her dance with boys and girls alike and it made me nervous. Of course it did; I has started the Celibacy club chapter at our school and Britt - despite being my best friend and being in the club- was very open about her sexuality, especially when she danced.

I denied dancing with her until she said we wouldn't be best friends anymore if I didn't. I smile at the memory as Britt's hands hold on to my hips, "are you having fun?" I yell at her through the music.

She laughs, "yes! Are you?"

"Of course. I always have fun when we dance together. Remember our first time?"

I smile and hers widens, "oh! Yes! Of course! You were so awkward at first because I'm a girl. Hello! I knew I am a girl."

When she started moving against me that day I freaked out and kept chanting , "you're a girl, you're a girl." I think at some point I said, "straight girls don't dance like this with each other," but I realize now that's not true. Britt had laughed at me and told me to relax and explained that friends dance like this and it's okay and that I can dance with her and be straight if it's what I wanted.

At that moment, I didn't know anymore because I liked dancing with Britt and I wanted to know what it'd be like to dance with another girl - maybe that cute cheerleader in my squad that I had been observing lately. But I had only been watching her to compare our bodies! Yeah, right.

During the summer, I admitted to myself I might possibly like girls and I ended up kissing Britt on my new path to finding myself. Turns out I didn't enjoy kissing Britt, but I liked it that she was a girl. Does that make sense? Her lips were softer than my ex-boyfriend's and her skin was smooth. She told me that it was okay to like both girls and boys - that she did - so I took it to heart.

I kept the Celibacy club going as a way to keep my private life just that. I used it as a shield and didn't let anyone in while I figured it out if I liked kissing boys better than I liked watching two girls kiss.

One day, I kissed that girl from my squad with the pretense that I was doing it for a class and that if she told anyone I'd kick her out of the squad. I liked kissing her. I liked kissing her a lot. But I was dating another boy at the time and running the club and I couldn't, so I just ignored her after that.

Turns out that said girl, Michelle, came after me in secret and so we started our relationship. It was intense, to say the least. I wanted her to come out with me; I'd be able to protect the both of us with my popularity and power but she didn't want to. I fought for her and she didn't even care about me. She cheated on me with a guy from the baseball team.

I get out of my head when Mike walks over to us, holding each of our favorite drinks. "This is nice - just the three of us hanging out."

"I told you it'd be fun, Q." Britt tells me, and then explains herself to Mike, "she thought it'd be awkward, but we were all friends before San, so-"

Mike laughs, successfully interrupting Britt before it gets awkward. Seeing Britt and Santana, and Mike and Tina now is so natural that sometimes I forget how well Mike really knows her. "I get it. I'm totally over it. Plus I met Tina and she's pretty amazing, so thank you both." He takes a sip of his beer and is completelly taken aback by Britt hugging him. He relaxes into the hug.

"Awesome!" She says and steps back. "I'm happy for you. Now let's go dance!" He always was her favorite dance partner - Santana doesn't need to know that. She hands me her drink and his, and I go sit at a table to watch over their drinks and rest from dancing with her. Britt can seriously wear a person out.

When she comes back looking for water, I go find a random person to dance with but make sure to keep my hands in appropriate places despite the looks she keeps giving me. Eventually, I find it better to go dance with Mike. He makes it fun and I catch myself laughing out loud at him often.

When we leave the club, high on all the dancing, I check my phone and notice I have one missed call from both mine and Britt's girlfriends. It makes me smile that they're so alike.

I call Santana first, to assuage her and get her off my back as soon as possible. "Dude, chill. She's still sober, and still very much yours," I tell her quietly once her rant about being worried for the past three fucking hours is over. She thanks me and proceeds to call Britt. I watch as Britt beams at her ringing phone and picks up.

I only call Rachel when Britt and I are getting out of the taxi in front of my house. Mike wishes us a good night and gives us each a hug before climbing back in and the car drives off. I'm not exactly drunk but I'm definitely tipsy and need Britt's support. We're giggling constantly and hushing each other for no reason other than because we're giggling. I hold the phone to my ear, waiting for Rachel to pick up, and with my left hand fumble to get the door open.

It's only when I realize it's probably four in the morning in New York that I hang up and hope I didn't wake her - she must be tired. I also wonder what Santana is still doing up, but I'm still up so I don't judge.

Britt nudges me and I realize I stopped walking halfway up the stairs, thinking of Rachel. She smiles and passes me. I want to shower, I really do, but when we reach my room, we both fall in bed and forgo removing any clothing. I manage to take my shoes off and when I realize Britt's already asleep, I take hers off too.

When I wake up, my body is sore from all the dancing. I groan as I turn to my side and find my face buried in light blonde hair. We haven't had a sleepover in such a long time. If I'm not mistaken, the last time was probably sometime over winter break when we were both in town and we hadn't met our girlfriends yet.

I indulge myself in the warmth and presence of her body because she is one of my longest friends and I miss her. Also, I don't feel so alone with her here. I still miss Rach but with Britt, it's not as hard. I wrap my arm around her waist and bring her close. "It's probably a good thing I haven't told San I was your first girl kiss, right?" She asks.

Instead of being surprised by her waking up, I simply chuckle. I'm used to it. "Yeah, probably. I don't even think Rachel knows -" I muse. Not that I decided not to tell her; it just didn't seem to be a big deal. "Do you think they'd really care?"

"Probably not. It was a long time ago and we're just friends." Britt says. And, like always, she makes it so simple.

"How are you and Santana, by the way?" I ask. Santana and I have grown a lot closer ever since the Finn debacle in Lima but she doesn't usually talk to me about Britt. I guess Britt should tell me about her and Rachel tells Santana about me; and the opposite is also true. I tell Britt about Rachel and Santana tells Rachel about me. I laugh quietly at the web my thoughts are spinning and focus on Britt.

She smiles, "so good. She took me out the day before I left. We went for a walk, had ice cream - nothing fancy but so very adorable."

"Sounds... Nothing like Santana," I say and laugh, and hide my face from Britt.

She hits me playfully and then says, "I wouldn't know. San's been nothing but amazing to me ever since we met." She winks and then says, "I miss her a lot," and hugs me tighter, closer to her.

My cheek is on her shoulder, being squeezed, "I miss Rachel."

We lay in bed for a while longer until she has to get up and pee. She skips to the bathroom.

Rachel calls me back and we talk about Britt being my first girl kiss. She laughs about it - that's great! - and then we both agree not to tell Santana, for my own life.


It's been two weeks since I've been at home. I got a job at a restaurant near my house. I'm the hostess and I'm already tired of work. I work everyday from 11 am to 5 pm and then go home to help my mom make dinner and then usually hang with Britt or Mike or both.

For the past two weeks, communication with Rachel has decreased substantially. I'm usually at work when she's free, and she's most often in rehearsals at every moment I'm free. Saturdays she spends all day in the workshop - no exceptions; Sundays she's been busy looking for a place to live next semester. Meanwhile, Saturdays I spend at work and Sundays I have church with my parents and then I volunteer for the soup kitchen. Friday nights and Sunday afternoons are the best times to talk.

Sometimes we Skype, sometimes we call. It's been really hard, mostly because both of us are very needy girls. Sometimes I wish I could reach out and touch her face across the time zone and the state lines and it kills me that I can't. I just see her getting more busy with each day, and we get more distant with each moment.

It's neither our faults - we knew it'd be this way but fuck it, it's so draining.

This weekend my parents and I are going down to visit my sister and her husband. She's about to pop out her first kid. Nobody in the family knows yet the sex but we're all very excited. The set date for labor is tomorrow - Saturday - so we're going to meet the newest Fabray soon.

I'm sitting on my desk, staring at my calendar of red X's over weekdays and contemplating if I can just take off to visit Rachel for a weekend in New York. I know I get to see her in four weeks, and that won't be so distant now that we're two weeks in, but I really need to see her.

"Ready, sweetheart?" My father's voice is comforting to my ears. He's at my door, smiling a sweet smile and looking at me with adoring eyes. He's always had that look reserved for me. He never wavered, not even when I told him I might like girls.

I get up from my seat, my skirt twirling, and grab my bag from my bed. "Yes!" I smile at him and he stops to give me a kiss on top of my head as I pass him to the stairs. "I'm so excited for this. Frannie is having my first niece!"

"How do you know it's a girl and not a boy? Our family needs another Fabray man!" He says. I laugh and hear my mom joining in.

"Frannie says she can feel it," mom explains. I smile smugly at dad and nod.

"Plus Rach says that if the belly is less round, it's a girl... Or maybe it's the other way around? Oh well. I just know that her belly is weird shaped."

"Rachel, Rachel," my dad mutters goodheartedly. "Is that all this girl talks about?" He asks mom.

She says, "oh dear, yes. And the times I've managed to get to talk to Rachel she's always talking about our Quinnie too..." She says. And then adds as an afterthought, "when she's not talking about herself that is."

"How is she doing in New York?" Dad asks. He grabs my bag from me and leads us out to the car. He opens the trunk with a touch of a button and stuffs my stuff on top of his and mom's suitcase. I stay behind to lock the door.

I sigh, still turned and checking to see if it's really locked. "You know... She's alright. Tired. Always at rehearsals."

"Honey, maybe you should really do what you've been saying and go visit her next weekend. Ask off your work again." Mom says.

"Yeah, I could do that. But even if I do, I doubt Rachel will have time to spend with me." It's really the only reason why I haven't taken my mother's car and driven the ten hours there and back.

We all settle in the car and I reach for the car's radio, turning on the bluetooth connector to my phone's music. I pick a song that reminds me of Rachel, The Plain White T's Hey There Delilah. My dad groans out loud, "are we going to listen to depressing songs all the way to Cincinnati?"

"It's not depressing!" I shriek. "It just reminds me of her."

Dad pulls out of the driveway and I put my sunglasses on. I text Rachel.

Qtie: driving down to Cincinnati to see the sister and wait for the baby to come out. I'll probably not be able to Skype tonight, but call me when you can? Love. Xo

I lean my head on the window and close my eyes.

Oh, it's what you do to me / what you do to me


"Oh. My. God." I can't hide my astonishment at my sister's size. "You look huge!" I taunt her as I climb the steps of her porch. "Did you eat a baby whale or something?"

She sticks her tongue out at me. "Quinn, still annoying as ever." She opens her arms and I try to hug her, but really, I can't. I laugh because my hands don't reach around her waist, and she exhales. "You won't get to meet Baby Taylor if you keep poking fun at my size! Hi, mom. Dad." They each give her a kiss on the cheek and walk around her into the house. Her husband Tom is out, buying groceries apparently.

"You're naming her Taylor? What a generic name." I say.

She turns and says, "okay, Quinn." With a snarky tone, "you have a boy's name."

"There is no such thing in America!" I say back. "And it sounds like a pun on queen, so it makes perfect sense." I watch her wobble back inside the house, and don't hide my amusement. "Can I get a picture with you this big so I can show it to my girlfriend?"

"Ah, that's right," she says as I help her settle on the really comfy couch. "Rachel, right? She's the girl who dragged you to her hometown and you didn't even think twice about visiting your very pregnant sister."

"You weren't this pregnant then." I argue back and sit next to her. "Oh. My. God." I repeat my earlier statement and touch the belly. The parents have already gone upstairs to the guest room where they're staying. Of course, I'll be sleeping on this very couch. "Okay, I'm getting a picture! One now and many later because I'm your sister and have every right to." I grab my phone and snap three of us sitting. This angle makes her belly look even bigger. Her face is also rounder.

"Happy?" She asks with closed eyes and a small smile. I nod and put my ear over the belly to see if I hear anything. "She doesn't fucking talk, Q." She teases me.

"I know but I was just hoping-"

She says softly, "I know. Tom does it all the time. You can talk to her if you want."

I'm sure my eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not? Doctors say she can hear you."

"Okay," I say and rub my hands together, thinking of what I could possibly tell her. "So," I clear my throat and suddenly realize I'm really nervous about speaking to my niece. "Hi. Taylor - let's hope your mom changes her mind about that. Um, how is it in there? Warm?"

She scoffs, "really, Quinn?"

"Sorry! Um, hey, baby girl. I can't wait to meet you. I know you've probably heard how scary this world can be... But don't worry, you know? It has it's moments. Let's see - ooh, you'll get to try ice cream. My favorite is the Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks, but I don't know if babies are allowed to eat that. Um, my girlfriend is really into musicals so I can teach you some about that; that'd make her very happy." I smile and then frown, thinking about Rachel and how she still hasn't replied my text or call which can only mean she's not out of the workshop yet. "Love is also pretty awesome. No matter what kind, okay, baby girl? I love my parents and your mom - who's my sister- and my best friends, Britt and Mike and even Santana. I also love my girlfriend so very much and I miss her dearly but I'm here so I can witness your birth! Also, cheerleading is life. I'm sure you'll come out doing splits." I grin up at my sister and she rolls her eyes but I think she has a tear rolling down her left cheek. She blames it on the hormones.


We're sitting around a black iron table in the backyard and Tom is grilling steaks. My sister is eating. She's already eating a salad because she gave up meat when she got pregnant, and because she is pregnant, she gets to eat before everyone else. I get distracted by Tom's dark hair and wonder if Baby 'I-hope-Frannie-changes-her-name' will have dark or blonde hair like my sister's.

It's dark out. The lights on the wall flicker and the sound of insects buzzing and crickets chirping are the soundtrack to a beautiful starlit sky. I contemplate about what the girl who compared my eyes to stars is doing and sigh when I realize she hasn't called or texted yet, indicating she is indeed still out.

A phone rings, they all vibrate on the table. It's a new rule we have. Everyone puts their cells on the table when we're eating as a family, and the first to break has to pay for dinner next time we go out and do the dishes for a week. All of our hands reach out for our phones, and mine is the one lit up. Rachel. I smile and almost pick up when I notice everyone's staring and grinning, expectantly.

"Oooh, who is it? Rachel?" My sister asks. I feel my cheeks warm and throw a hand over my eyes, turning away. "I hope you know the rule still applies, choose you pick up that phone call."

Of fucking course I'm picking up. I huff anyway and turn at her, cheeks still red, and stick my tongue out. "Hi, Rach," I exhale when I press the green button.

My family starts making catcalling noises and laughing. I hear my Dad say something like, "yes, free dinner!" right before I close the screen door and then the actual door.

"Hi! Oh - hi, baby." She whispers. Her voice sounds tired. I wish I could do something to make her less tired, but I can't. I prop myself up on the kitchen counter and swing my legs - it hits the cabinets every so often. "You don't know how great it is to hear your voice. Was that your family?" She asks, her voice not a whisper anymore. I can just picture her laying in bed, fresh off a cold shower - hair probably still damp - with her eyes closed and the lights off.

"Yes, they're making fun of me. I now have to pay for dinner and do the dishes," I explain vaguely but smiling because I finally get to talk to her.

She laughs quietly, "aw, I'm sorry. Tell them I said hi, okay?" She says. I love how she's always so concerned about making a point of telling them that every time we speak. "Anyway, how was the trip there and how big is your sister?" She asks.

"Oh! She's huge! The trip was okay - I slept the entire time. But, holy shit, babe, she's enormous. I took a picture with her earlier so I could send it to you but forgot then. I'll send it to you when we hang up."

"Okay," she giggles.

"How was your week?"

"Tiresome," she replies instantly. "Busy, busy. That's all it ever is lately. But we did get to start on a new song today, so that's exciting!"

"That sounds exciting, but please tell me you've been taking care of yourself."

I can practically see the eyeroll, "of course. I promise, I have been drinking all the water I have to and getting rest whenever I can."

I smile. "Good girl. So, I was thinking," I start and hear her make a small noise to let me know she's listening and then yawn. I know she'll be drifting into sleep soon so I have to ask as soon as possible, even though I already know the answer. "Mom wouldn't be opposed with me going to New York next weekend."

"What for?" She asks.

"Why, what for? To visit you, silly! I miss you and she says it'd be okay -"

"Quinn," Rachel cuts me off as nicely as she can. "Babe, I'd really love to see you - you know I would. But we both know I wouldn't have the time to spend with you. Maybe Sunday but only for a few hours before you'd have to get back and I'd have to get rest for Monday."

"I know, I just thought - I miss you."

"I miss you, too. I pretty much see you everywhere I go, but honestly, I think that'd be worse for us if you were here and I couldn't give you the attention you de-"

"I get it." I cut her off. I don't know why I sound so snarky when she is really just saying what would happen. "I'm sorry," I apologize immediately. "I don't know what that was."

"I do. I'm pretty angry too, that I don't get to be with you, but you know, it is what it is. I'm just trying to focus on the day I'll see you in four weeks." She says and I can hear the smile forming on her lips, probably slow and lazy. "When I have a break and for which you already have bought a ticket for," she informs me as if I didn't know.

It makes me smile, too. "Okay, yeah. Four weeks - that's a month - not too bad." She yawns again, "hey, go to sleep. Get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. Even if for like, a minute while on my way to the studio."

"Any luck with the housing search?"

"No, not yet." She says and then yawns one more time. I can tell she really needs to sleep and that the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because of how much we miss each other.

"Okay, good night, gorgeous."

"Good night. Love you."

"Love you."

I hang up and stare at my phone, exhale as I run a hand through my hair. She sounds so tired but she's doing what she loves so I guess that's good. I put my phone down and then stare at it a second longer. I text her the picture with a smiley face and she texts back immediately with a ':O' and a ';)'. I chuckle and then I get up from the counter to make my way back outside without my phone.

Tom is finally removing the steaks from the grill. It sizzles and hisses. It smells great. I close the screen door behind me softly and sit back down on my vacant chair. My sister is now chewing through a corn on the cob, with a smirk.

"I miss you, Rachel; I love you, Rachel." She teases me.

I snap immediatelly, "shut up!"

The table quiets down and my mother says, "Quinn, you can't talk to your sister like that. She's pregnant."

I feel a wave of guilt roll through me. I know it was wrong to lash out at her. It's not her fault and I just acted out. My dad says, "honey, apologize to your sister." I feel like I'm twelve again and not a college student.

Frannie rolls her eyes, "there's no need."

"No, I am sorry." I say. "I just - stressed."

She swipes a hand in front of her face as if it will help her forget and Tom places a gentle hand on my shoulder as he sets a plate with a steak on top of it. The smell attacks my senses and I'm so thankful for my family. "Don't worry about it, little sis." She tells me and then points at the food. "Eat." She orders. She reaches for the bowl of veggies and puts three spoonfuls on my plate.

I smile, timid, "thanks."

"No problem," she says. Dad and Mom smile, too, satisfied with our grown-up behavior and start to eat their dinners.

I look at my parents and think about how great they are. I look over at Tom leaning to press a quick kiss on my sister's cheek and think about how amazing they are for each other. He - except for the dark eyes and hair - reminds me a lot of my dad. They're both quiet and not very talkative but can be quite funny and entertaining when they want to. He's going to be a great father and Frannie will be an amazing mother.

For a second I think about having kids of my own, and then I freak out and start cutting up my steak. I'm getting way ahead of myself. Way way way way ahead of myself because I obviously thought of Rachel next to me when I thought about being a mother for that fleeting second. I salt my steaks, not even bothering to see if I put too much; I chew nervously and smile at my parents to disguse the thoughts in my head. They look confused and smile back, and then my dad goes back to his food and mom goes back to Frannie's story about redecorating the office and turning it into a baby room.

There is no way I can be thinking that far ahead. Stupid sister and her belly. I have much more pressing things to worry about, like Frannie's impending labor and when the next time I'll see Rachel is. Or, maybe what the hell I'm going to do about my major. I still have no idea and I have to figure it out soon.


I'm sitting on a hospital chair when I get a text message from Gaea.

Gaea: can you talk?

I look over at my smiling sister, going over the last details of the labor and then text back.

Quinn: sure.

I excuse myself from the room and walk out of the maternity ward and start making my way to the lobby. I have my phone in my hands and I start unrolling my headphones to play some music when the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Quinn. How are you?"

"Great, you?"

"Pretty good. And Rachel? Is she doing okay?" The last time Gaea and I talked, Rachel was in the hospital. It makes sense she'e ask that. How fucking ironic that I'm speaking to Gaea again while at the hospital.

"She's doing good - busy. She's back in New York working on her musical."

She says, "oh that's right. Listen," I hear the shift and it sounds serious so I know this is the reason why she called. "I heard of this thing happening in D.C. at John Hopkins and I thought about how perfect it'd be for you! It's like a Media Anthropology seminar. I get e-mails for these kind of events because of my major in Communications." She starts explaining and by the time she said 'D.C.' I wanted to say yes already. "It's a great opportunity. You don't have to be a Media Anthropology person, per se, just be an Anthro major or Communications major. It's like intensive learning, with labs and lectures and all the good stuff. They have field trips and even provide you with room and board for the entire time."

I can hardly contain my excitement, "sounds great! How much is it and where do I sign up?"

She chuckles, "hold your horses, Fabray. This is a pretty big. You have to apply within this week. Deadline is Monday. It's like $5000 for everything, which if you ask me, is a great fucking deal. They bring professors from all over and you get to meet people in the career and stuff. Besides, you get to live in D.C. for the duration."

I smile, considering the idea and wondering if they'd give me the opportunity to go if I applied. "Are you going?"

"I already applied - I'm waiting for my e-mail back! They only have like 25 spots and 19 are filled. You can go on their website and check the people's names. I already stalked a few on Facebook and I already picked which ones I like and which ones I don't."

I laugh. My phone beeps twice and I move away to check who it is and it's Rachel. I'm conflicted but I don't hang up on Gaea yet. "Hey, hold on for like, one minute, okay?"

She says, "sure," and I switch calls.

"Good morning!" Rachel chirps. Ah, she's rested and is on her way to the studio and I bet she's drinking coffee.

"Morning to you," I say. And then, reluctantly, I say, "baby, can I call you back in ten? I'm on another phone call -"

"Oh! Sure!" She interrupts me. "I'm sorry! Call me back then. I'm a little early."

"You're sure?" I ask, for confirmation.

She makes a loud smack noise, like a kiss, "Yes!" and then hangs up.

The call automatically goes back to Gaea's. "Hello?"

"Yeah, still here," she says. Her tone is light and warm.

"So you were saying?" I ask, excited. I chew on the inside of my cheeks.

"I was saying you should stop whatever it is you're doing right now and go apply!" She urges me. "Apply yesterday!" Then she gasps excitedly, "oh! We could totally room together if we both get in."

I shake my head at that idea because no, Rachel would die, but I stay quiet about it. Instead I ask her, "and when is this again?"

"Starts in two weeks and goes until the second week of July! So you have to apply today because they're sending out last acceptance e-mails by Tuesday and this thing is highly competitive because they only open for applications three weeks before it starts."

Oh damn. All I heard was 'starts in two weeks.' That would mean I wouldn't be able to visit Rachel in the middle of June. Fuck.

This opportunity sounds great but with something like this, I don't think I could afford to miss even one lecture. And if I ever do get a break, Rachel would probably be busy. I wonder how far away from New York D.C. is so I make a mental note to check on it later. "That's - that sounds so good. But really? In two weeks?"

"Yeah," she says. "What's the problem?"

"And they don't have any other sessions?"

"No. Is there anything wrong?"

"I mean, no, it's just - I wouldn't really be able to see Rachel again until the third week of July which is an entire month and a week later than what we had planned."

She's quiet for a second thinking and then sighs, "Sorry, Q. But, think about it, okay? This is your fucking career. Maybe you figure out what the hell you want to do for the rest of your life. I thought you were still trying to figure it out."

"I am but-"

"And Rach will understand because she is career-driven. This thing, even if you decide to not make a career out of Media Anthropology - this thing will add so much to your resume. And it's John Hopkins, and D.C. And it's cheap! You can't say no. Things like this don't come around often."

"I know but-"

"Just think about it until 3pm today. That's enough time to think and come to your senses because seriously - seriously! This will be amazing and you will be pissed if you don't even try to get in. At least apply, you know? Maybe they won't pick you and you will get to see Rach."


She's the most beautiful thing I've seen. She has incredibly light blue eyes and fair skin. Her dimples are adorable and her hair is thin but there, and it is blonde like the rest of us but I hear that can change still. "Still set on Taylor?"

"Kind of was thinking Lea." She says, quietly, as if saying it too loud will affect the atmosphere in the room.

"I love it," I tell her honestly.

"So do we," she tells me and looks at me. "Do you want to hold her?"

Do I ever. I smile as I hold her and she looks at me with confused look but then also smiles. I don't even know if she understands what she's doing but she's beautiful and I love her. I'll spoil her and be her favorite aunt ever.

I want to tell Rachel she was born, but I know that now it's too late to call back. My call with Gaea got interrupted when my mom told me they were taking Frannie in to have her baby. I hung up and went to wait with my family. She was born healthy and not even as heavy as I thought; Frannie's belly was false advertisement. I hand Lea back to her and pull out my phone.

Rachel is probably in some dance or music rehearsal. I'm so excited though. I text Britt instead.

Britt: OMG CONGRATS!

Q: Thanks! She's adorable. Maybe you'll get to meet her over Thanksgiving break this year.

A minute later, Lopez texts me.

S: dude, I heard. Congratulations. I hope she doesn't grow up to be as annoying as you. ;)

Q: thanks, Bitch. :)

S: have you told Rachel yet?

Q: haven't had the opportunity to.

S: she's gonna be furious when she finds out she wasn't the first to know lol you're fucked

Q: no, she won't. :p

S: LMAO


Everyone is super excited about bringing Baby Lea back home. I'm holding doors open while holding onto bags, my dad is helping Tom keep my sister up, and mom has Baby Lea in her arms. We get my sister to her room, slowly, and I leave to call Rachel.

I applied on my phone after Lea was born. Just in case.

It rings five times, and I'm about to turn off, when she picks up. "Hello!"

"Hi, are you busy?"

"Actually, no. We finished early today because someone got injured while jumping on a chair. He fell and landed awkwardly on his foot."

"Oh, no. Is he okay?"

She inhales air through her mouth, "not sure. I hope he will be but it's still not too late to replace him, though, if we have to."

"Tough break." I say.

She sighs out loud, "yeah. But we'll figure something out. So did they go through with labor?"

"Yes! Her name is Lea Fabray Clinton." I say, extremely happy to talk about Lea. "She's 7 pounds and really pink and she has the prettiest blue eyes and hair. I adore her. I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her."

"I can't wait to meet her!" She says, laughing. "She sounds perfect."

"She is. So adorable!"

"Why didn't you call me to tell me when she was born?"

I shift my weight awkwardly and thank the heavens she can't see me. I go outside to the backyard because my family never leaves room for privacy. I sigh, "My mom interrupted that phone call I was on to tell me they were going to start so I hung up and went to wait with them. Then itwas already too late and I knew you'd be busy."

"Oh, that's right. That phone call. That's why you didn't call me back - must've been someone important." She says and I can tell she's dying to know who it was but she won't ask, and I'm kind of scared of telling her, but I have to.

"Not someone important but was she called about was really great. It was just Gaea."

She clears her throat, "Gaea?" I can hear she's struggling not to pass judgement without knowing what the call was about. I silently note how much she's trying not to be jealous of Gaea.

I itch my neck, "yeah, but it wasn't anything like that."

"No, I know. Just wondering what she called you about that you couldn't hang up or call me back when we actually had time to talk." Her answer is biting but I take it just because it happened just as she describes.

"I'm sorry, baby. It was kind of a big deal. I have news, though. I think I have figured something out that'll help me decided what to do with my major. If it doesn't help me to figure out what I want to be, it'll at least help me figure out what I don't want to be."

At this, her voice relaxes and I just hope she understands. "Tell me about it!"

"It's in D.C. at John Hopkins. It's like a summer learning program for $5000 and they offer room and board, lectures, labs, field trips on Media Anthropology. That's why Gaea called. Because she's a Communications major. Last day to apply is Monday but I already applied because they only have six spots left."

"Sounds like an amazing opportunity, baby. And when is it?"

And then my mouth doesn't want to work. It doesn't want to say it. But I have to. I have to. So I do. "Starts on June 11, goes all the way until July 9th."

"Wait, I'm sorry - did you just say June 11?"

"Yeah." I start to exhale slowly through my mouth to keep calm.

"As in, two fucking days before you come to New York?"

"Yes." The line goes quiet and I wonder if she hung up on me. She never has before but maybe - "Rach?"

"Yeah, still here." Her voice is not nearly as warm as I'd like it to be.