February

As Louis finished his run through Central Park on Sunday morning, his phone buzzed. It was Marshall, which was strange considering the hour. Louis ran earlier on the weekdays and there were plenty of people milling about by ten o'clock, but it was early for Marshall to be contacting anyone.

"Can the clan come over this pm?" the message read.

Louis walked back to his apartment before answering, unsure if Lyla had any plans for the day. When he entered his apartment, he was met by the sweet Sunday scent of a pancake breakfast and his stomach growled greedily. "Morning," he called before making his way to his bedroom to shower.

"Good morning," Lyla chirped as the freshly showered Louis kissed her cheek.

"Smells great," he said eagerly. "Where's August?"

Lyla rolled her eyes, "apparently he's getting into a new 'sleeping in' phase and doesn't want to get up for breakfast."

"Yeah, sleeping in. I'm sure that's what he's doin'," Louis joked.

Lyla shook her head as if to get rid of the suggestion, "nope."

Louis laughed.

Lyla sat down at the table after giving Ben his small serving of mushy pancakes, and the couple served themselves.

"Do we have any plans today?" Louis asked after a couple of bites to satisfy his hunger.

"I was thinking maybe bring Ben to the park for a bit. And there's a couple of open houses we could go to," Lyla replied after a sip of orange juice.

"Marshall's askin' if we're free to go over there today. What time are the open houses?"

"I think most end at about four. We could go down to Scarsdale and check out a few, then go to Marshall's. Or the other way around. Do you know why?"

"I don't know. Didn't message him back yet. I'll ask after we're done."

After Lyla, Louis and Ben were finished their breakfast, Louis cleaned up the kitchen as usual while Lyla cleaned and dressed Ben. August was still locked in his room, more of a teenager with each passing day. Louis texted Marshall to ask for times and purpose when he was finished.

"Right," Louis said to Lyla after receiving a response. "He says that the time doesn't matter and it won't take long. Says, 'I have to tell you something' and Maya won't let him do it over the phone." Louis felt uneasy. It must be something important. "What time do the open houses start?"

"I think most are at one."

"Alright, well why don't we go to Marshall's first, then we can do the open houses later?"

"Do you think everything's okay?" Lyla asked, sensing Louis' own unease.

Louis shook his head, "no." He texted Marshall back to say they'd be leaving right away. "August!" he called, approaching his son's bedroom. Louis knocked on the door, "August, we're goin' to Uncle Marshall's then checkin' out some houses. Time t' get up!"

He could hear August groan on the other side of the door, "do I have to come?"

"Yeah, man. Uncle Marshall has somethin' important to tell us. Let's go. We're leavin' fifteen minutes." He didn't wait to hear whether or not his son protested, but after he walked away, he heard August's door open. The teenager crept into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Fifteen minutes later, the family was on their way to Marshall's in relative silence. Louis was thinking of all the different possible reasons for the meeting while Lyla circled her thumb on his hand mindlessly, offering some comfort.

When they made it to Marshall's place, he met them at the door to let them in. "Hey," he said, stepping aside so they could each go in. "I wanted to just call, but Maya made a fuss and I have to live wit' her so…"

"Everything alright?" Louis asked, the last to enter his brother's home.

Marshall shrugged, "it's fine."

"Where's Maya?" Lyla asked, hanging her and August's coats on the hooks near the door before removing Ben's winter wear.

"She's upstairs," he replied with no further explanation.

Marshall motioned for everyone to sit on the sofa, which they did. It all felt very awkward and unnatural, the lack of explanations and the uncharacteristic actions of Marshall. He sat in the armchair perpendicular to the sofa, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Right," he said, followed by a long pause where he studied his anxious hands.

"Marshall," Louis urged.

Marshall caught Louis' eye for a moment before returning his gaze to his hands. "Well, it turns out… I've got cancer."

"Cancer," Louis repeated, his heart dropping. Unconsciously, he took Lyla's hand in his and held tight.

Marshall nodded, "prostate. Just like da had. I'd been feelin' off for a coupla weeks before da died. Then the Monday after, I went to a clinic t' get checked out. They sent me to an oncologist the Friday before North Carolina. They're gonna get me on some treatments to shrink the, uh, tumour and said it probably won't go 'way completely so I'll need surgery but…" he shrugged.

"And you fuckin' went binge-drinkin' because of this? Tryin' to follow da's footsteps completely?" Louis near-shouted. "You're a fuckin' idiot."

"Watch yourself, baby bro," Marshall warned. "Just 'cause I have cancer, doesn't mean I can't still kick your ass."

"Louis," Lyla soothed, squeezing his hand tightly.

Both Marshall and Louis seemed to realize the others were around before escalating the argument.

"It was stupid," Marshall relented. "I don't know how—" He stopped himself and cleared his throat. "I'll be alright, yeah? We'll finish this tour, I'll get the treatments and surgery and shit finished, and be good for the summer festivals."

"You can't get in earlier?" asked Lyla.

"I need to finish the tour," he said quietly.

"Marshall, if you can get in earlier, do it. Couldn't it spread?"

"I need to finish the tour," Marshall repeated. He could feel his own mortality crushing in on him and was worried that things wouldn't go as well as the doctors suggested they would.

"Can't you get treatment at the same time?" August asked, startling Marshall out of his consuming thoughts. For the first time, Marshall took in the expressions of those around him. August looked on the verge of tears, Louis was tense with fear, and Lyla had her face hidden behind Ben's dark hair as she held him tight, her other hand grasping Louis'.

"Right, you all need to stop that," he demanded. "I'm goin' to be fine. It hasn't spread beyond the tissues surroundin' the prostate. I'll do the radiation and the surgery, if needed, after our last New York show. This is my choice and the doctors who have actual medical knowledge have not said anythin' against it. So it'll be fine. But you can't all be mopin' the whole damn time. Christ."

"Sorry," August murmured.

Marshall shook his head, "don't worry, man. I'll be okay."

August nodded and no one said anything.

Marshall threw his hands up in the air and stood up. "You figure out how to act normal – share the secret with Maya while you're at it – and I'll be in my room when you're ready," and he walked into his room, closing the door behind him. The sound of the television on the other side of the door filled in the uncomfortable silence that had been created.

"Shit," Louis whispered.

"That's enough," Lyla demanded.

Louis began to say something but thought better of it and sighed. The four of them sat silently, mulling over the news.

A moment later, Maya and Mateo descended the stairs and joined the family in the living room. "Hi," she tried.

"Hi," Lyla repeated, unsure of what else to say.

"He only told me yesterday," she said, sitting down in the now empty arm chair. Mateo and Ben saw each other and immediately began babbling to each other. "And only because he was forced to. I don't think he would've told any of us if he could help it."

Louis nodded. "Idiot."

"He'll be okay though," she assured them. "It's barely noticeable and the doctors think he might not even need surgery – that the radiation can get it all. It's not bothering him too much."

No one responded. What was there to say?


May

After the tour finished near the end of March, Marshall began his radiation treatments. Because of Marshall's relatively young age, the doctors didn't see any reason to worry, which allowed Marshall some peace of mind and, in turn, calmed his concerned family.

Radiation had dissolved the cancer in the tissues around the prostate, but not in the prostate itself, so surgery was to be done in June to completely remove the tumour.

It was good that Marshall had waited until after the tour, Louis thought, because he had very little energy once the treatments started, not to mention the lack of control of his bladder and other bodily functions. He was moody and more brash than usual and upset with having to take sick leave from work. He couldn't spend as much time with his son because of the radiation. Maya was constantly annoyed with him and no longer tiptoed around his feelings.

It was a disaster as Maya, Mateo, and Marshall arrived at Louis and Lyla's home for Benjamin's first birthday party. The apartment was filled by friends and family of Louis and Lyla to celebrate, but as soon as Marshall entered, the mood changed. He didn't say hi to anyone; he immediately went for the couch and sat down, turning the TV on to some sports match. His irritability was understandable; not only was he uncomfortable and tired, but people also seemed to tiptoe around him, not sure how to act or what to say. They tried to act normal, but there was some invisible barrier that showed they really weren't relaxed around him. And he picked up on it.

Maya rolled her eyes at Lyla as she greeted them at the door, helping with Mateo, the gift, and the food they brought, abandoned by Marshall. "Sorry," she whispered. "I should've just left him at home."

Lyla glanced at her brother-in-law as he turned the volume up on the match to combat the chatter of her guests and the music that played in the background. She took the gift and plate of food towards the kitchen as Maya set Mateo down to go see Ben.

"Get him to turn it down," Lyla said to Louis who was setting out more food brought by others.

"Ah, he just needs t' calm down," Louis said, having become softer towards his brother as of late. "He'll turn it off when he's ready."

"Louis," she said in disbelief. "You can't treat him like a child. He's only like this because everyone is treating him so differently."

"Just give him some time," Louis insisted. "Marshall!" he called. "Want anythin' t' eat?"

Marshall simply waved his hand in response.

Lyla sighed, "this is ridiculous."

Louis shrugged and kissed Lyla on the forehead. "He'll be better after the surgery."

Marshall kept the game on and loud, yelling at anyone who would get in the way, and yelling at the game itself. It was the cascade of curses that finally pushed Lyla to the limit. She marched from the kitchen table where she was sitting with the ladies and tore the remote control from Marshall's grasp, turning the TV off.

"Hey! I was watchin' that!"

"And now you're done." She hadn't meant to make a scene, but it was suddenly very silent save for the background music as people watched the argument unfold. "You know," she said, feeling her agitation rising, "just because you have cancer, doesn't give you a free pass to act like a total douchebag."

"Fuck off," he said, making a grab for the remote.

"Marshall!" Louis shouted.

"No," Lyla exclaimed. "You've been a complete jerk to everyone for the last two months. I get that you're uncomfortable and worried and sick, but now you're ruining a perfectly good day. You're lucky that Ben won't remember any of this. I mean, the rest of the people who love and care for you will, but what does that matter, right?" She could feel her face burning in anger and embarrassment from the onlookers but continued. "You're acting like a crotchety old man and it doesn't suit you. Grow up and stop bringing everyone else down. Grow up if you want anyone around you when you're healthy again." She took the remote with her as she stormed off dramatically to her bedroom.

The rest of the party looked awkwardly among each other as Marshall sat back on the sofa somewhat stunned. He then stood and walked purposefully towards the bathroom at the end of the hall.

"God, I love Lyla," Maya said after a moment, grinning widely and easing the tension for pockets of conversation to resume.

Lyla sat on the edge of her bed, unsure about what to do. Surely, one couldn't go back to a place they just dramatically exited from? She was embarrassed anyway and kept thinking about all the ways she could have handled the situation much more subtly. But then, would Marshall ever listen to subtle?

"Y'alright?" Louis' voice came, startling her. "Sorry, didn't mean t' scare you."

She shook her head, "yeah, I'm fine. Just embarrassed."

Louis chuckled, "I think Marshall's more embarrassed than you. But he deserved it. Should've stepped in when you told me to." He paused. "It's hard."

"It's harder for him with everyone acting like he's going to break if they treat him normally. I'd be annoyed too."

Louis nodded, "I'm goin' t-" He was interrupted by a knock on the door followed by the appearance of Marshall.

"Lyla," he said. "Just want t' say sorry. I'm gonna be headin' home. I don't think I should've come out in the first place."

"No, don't leave," Lyla insisted. "We'll be opening presents soon. And there's cake."

"Nah, I don't really have an appetite. Not feelin' good today. Can't wait for this shit to be done. I'll talk t' you later, yeah?"

Louis nodded, "see you, Marshall."

Marshall snuck out, texting Maya goodbye rather than facing the friends and strangers in his brother's living room.


June

"The asshole fucking lied," Maya cried into the phone after Louis had answered. He had to hold the phone away from his ear and worried his coworkers might hear.

"Maya?"

"Yes! I tried calling Lyla, but there was no answer!"

"She's meeting with someone about a job. What's goin' on?"

"Marshall went in for his surgery today!"

"What? I thought it wasn't until next week?"

"He messaged me just before he went in, saying that he lied and it was actually today and that he didn't want a fuss. And I'm trying to get some information but the fucking—" She took a deep breath and continued, "they won't give me any information because I'm not family. Apparently having his son means nothing." Her voice cracked with emotion.

"Listen, I can probably get out early today. I'll come down t' the hospital and see what we can figure out."

"Okay," she sniffed. "Thanks" and she hung up without another word.

Louis finished up his work and ducked out early, texting Lyla the situation. She was meeting with the Dean of Music at Juilliard, discussing a possible role for September as an instructor on top of her cellist position with the Philharmonic, which she had started with again in January. Lyla was starting to get antsy staying with Ben 24/7.

He found Maya sitting with Mateo in the waiting area of the hospital, hugging him tightly and bouncing him on her knee. When she saw Louis, she shot up and followed him to the desk.

"Excuse me," he said to the lady at the computer who looked up at him. "I'm lookin' for information about my brother."

"His name?"

"Marshall Connelly. He had surgery today."

"Your name?"

"Louis," he said and then added, "Connelly."

The orderly searched for a moment before speaking, "yes, he got out of surgery about half an hour ago. He's in recovery."

"Can we see him? Did everythin' go okay?"

"Just a moment, I'll check if he can be seen." She made a phone call and spoke in a low voice into the receiver.

"Do you think he's okay?" Maya asked, her brows furrowed with worry.

Louis clutched her shoulder comfortingly, "yeah, he's fine." His brother was strong, and Louis couldn't imagine a life without him, so Marshall would have to be okay.

"He's in room 402," the woman said. "You can go up there but be sure to keep quiet."

Maya sighed audibly with relief and went with Louis up to the fourth floor.

The room had two beds in it. On the far side of the room, the bed was empty but looked like someone normally occupied it. Closer to the door, Marshall lay with squinted eyes as a couple of nurses worked over him. When he spotted Louis, Mateo, and Maya, they opened wider and he emitted a loud but lazy "hey!" He waved at one of the nurses and slurred, "it's my baby brother and my baby mama an' my baby!"

The nurse laughed and greeted the trio, "he just woke up and will be a little out of it for a bit yet."

"How'd it go?" Louis asked as the approached the bed.

"He told us his surgery wasn't until next week," accused Maya.

"Isn't she so fuckin' hot?" slurred Marshall, eyeing Maya.

"It was today," the nurse confirmed, smiling at Marshall's comment. "The doctor will be in once Marshall's a bit more coherent and he'll be able to fill you in on the details."

"You're an asshole," Maya said to Marshall as she stood next to his hospital bed.

He reached up to his son. "That's why y'love me. Heya Matty boy."

"Dadadadadadada," Mateo babbled, clapping off-beat.

"Give 'im here," Marshall demanded.

"Not a good idea," the nurse said to which Marshall cursed loudly.

"Marshall, why don't you shut your mouth a bit?" Louis said, receiving an obnoxious laugh from his brother.

The nurse patted Marshall's foot, "I'll be back in a little while. Don't get into too much trouble."

For the next hour, they visited with Marshall. He became more coherent and less drunk-like as the anesthesia wore off. The doctor came in a greeted everybody in the room before completing some basic cognition tests. When he was satisfied that Marshall was in a clear state of mind, he began to speak. "We managed to get a clearer look at the tissue surrounding the prostate and we can confirm for a certainty that the radiation therapy managed to completely rid the tissue of cancer cells. As for the surgery, there weren't any surprises. It was the size we thought and was easy to remove. There is always a chance that the cancer will come back, so you'll have regular check ups to monitor it, but for now, you're cancer free."

Tension that had been unknowingly floating in the room dissipated instantly. Silent tears spilled down Maya's cheeks as she held on tightly to Marshall's hand. Louis wanted to follow suit but knew that Marshall would never let him live it down. He felt immense relief and gratitude.

"Recovery will take some time, but you're young and healthy, so there shouldn't be many complications. We'll keep you for a couple of nights for observation and then you'll be able to go home. You still won't be fit for work for another few weeks at the very least. But you can breathe now."