He leaves, and she locks the door behind him. She lowers herself to the ground, after he leaves. She leans against the door, and begins to sob. Allison comes down the stairs. She kneels on the floor, next to Maura.
"It's ok," Allison reassures her.
"No, it's not. None of this is ok. I have made such a mess of everything."
Allison pushes Maura's hair, out of her face. She holds her face, so that Maura cannot avoid eye contact.
"Listen to me, it's going to be ok. You are going to get through this. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for being."
"Don't."
"Don't?"
"You shouldn't have to do this. You are the child."
"I am not a child."
"You are my child. I am your mother. You shouldn't be the one, who has to pick up the pieces."
"It's ok."
"No, it's not."
Allison takes a seat on the floor.
"Mom..."
Maura looks over at her. Through the tears she can't help, but want to smile, "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry that I disappointed you."
Maura tucks Allison's long hair behind her ear. "You didn't."
"The look in your eye, earlier, that was disappointment."
Maura smiles at her, "One day you will understand."
"Understand what?"
"The desire to keep your child safe, at all costs."
"You don't want me to have this baby."
"I want you to have every dream, that you have ever wanted. If you want a baby, then I want that for you."
"But?"
"But you are always going to be my baby. I am always going to want to protect you. I just can't stand the thought, of not having you. I don't want to think about losing you."
"I know."
"But, I know that you have always had the strength to do whatever you set your mind to."
"You think that I am making a mistake?"
"I think, that I am being selfish. I want to keep you, forever."
"You want me to be a baby..."
"Sometimes, every now, and then, I look at you, and I can't believe how grown up you are. Sometimes I just wish you were a little baby, again. I would hold you in my arms, and know that you were safe, and never let go. I wish that I could go back, and get to see all the things that I missed."
"You're going to have a new baby, and forget all about me."
"No, I won't."
"You're disappointed, that I got pregnant, aren't you?"
"No," she lies.
"I think that I should move here. I want to be in close proximity, to you."
"I think you need to talk to Nate, before you make any decisions."
"I doubt that he is going to want to be involved."
"He deserves to know."
"You just lied to Trent."
"Did I? As far as I am concerned it's not his. It's mine, just like you are mine."
"Why did you lie to him?"
"Do you think that your life would have turned out better, if he had been involved?"
"He wouldn't have been, so no."
"Exactly."
"He's the same person he was as a teenager. He still acts like a scared, little, child."
"I agree."
"Why didn't you go to work today? You never call in sick?"
"I'm exhausted. I would like to have a couple of restful hours of sleep, before I have a new baby."
"It's scary, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Thinking about the fact that you're going to have a new baby."
"It's really scary, at my age. I think of all the things that can go wrong. I think about how old I am going to be, when it graduates high school."
"At least you won't be in your early thirties."
Maura cringes at her next thought, "You..." she trails off.
"I, what?"
"You are going to make me grandmother, before I'm forty."
"Sorry."
"I am going to have a child that is the same age, as my grandchild."
"You can just pretend that you had twins."
"I am tired of pretending."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"What's going to happen?"
"When?"
"When, I die."
Maura feels a lump forming in her throat. She stares at her daughter, a spitting image of her, in so many ways. Hazel eyes, and a sweet smile. Her hair, had been one of the good things she received from her father. The sandy blonde locks are tucked behind her ears. Maura tries not to think of having to put her daughter in a casket. She begins to tear up.
"I didn't mean to make you cry."
"It's ok. It's a valid question. I was just thinking about you, when you were a baby."
"We can talk about this later, if it upsets you."
"No, we can talk about it now."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Maura nods.
"So what happens?"
"In the event that you die, before your child is grown?"
"Yes, in that hypothetical, yet highly likely event."
"What do you want to happen?"
"I just want to know, that it will be taken care of."
"I will. I'll make sure that everything is taken care of. I won't let he, or she, be an orphan."
"You'll..."
"I will raise it, if I have to."
"Thank you."
"But, on one condition."
"What?"
"You have to tell Nate, everything. You have to be honest with him, and tell him the whole story."
"You weren't with the sperm donor."
"That is different, your sperm donor is a bastard, Nate is a good guy."
Allison starts laughing, hysterically.
