Chapter
28
Time: 20 weeks
(five months)
That slap hurt. I mean really hurt. God, who knew
Lucy was so strong?!
"Ow!" I yelped out in pain, a long time after she slapped me. See, that's why I'm not an athlete. The only time I've demonstrated any kind of quick reflex is when I saved the president's life. And then the darn old man repays it by calling me a w.hore. My life is such a cute little fairy tale.
I should probably add that I was very, very mad at Lucy for slapping me. Is it my fault that I was pregnant and had messed up hormones?
Lucy got off her fat ass and came over to me, to examine my face I presume. "Sam, I am so sorry!"
"Sorry doesn't change it," I snapped. Dude, my face was burning with pain.
"I'm so so so so so sorry, Sam," she said. Boy, it was fun acting b.itchy!
"I'm not taking any apologies," I said in a snotty voice. See? How many times to you get to say that and not have your sister hit the crap out of you, or at least cuss you out? Not many, huh?
Lucy began to cry again. "Sam, I'm sorry! I-I-I d-didn't m-mean to h-hit y-yooooouuu!!"
Okay, so maybe it wasn't fun after all. Hearing her wails made me feel guilty.
I stroked her hair and cooed her, "It's okay, Luce."
She looked at me with her tear stained face and shook her head. "You were just saying it wasn't. Sam, I'm sorry, it's just that..."
Oh? What's this now?
"It's just that..." I echoed, signaling I wanted to hear the rest.
"Well, I told you about Harold, and..."
"Uh-huh?" I said with mere curiosity. I was mildly interested.
She burst out crying again. Who knew Lucy was such a crybaby? When I was a sophomore, she was not nice and all sentimental like this. She was all like looking-good-is-more-important-than-being-nice and I-spent-more-money-than-you-on-this-three-hundred-and-fifty-dollar-bra. Of course, I'm exaggerating on the bra cost thing, but still...it's true.
"It's just that you've been getting all the attention and, well...you're having twin girls and you have a loving boyfriend who will face public humiliation with you and you have our parents' trust still and even though the president hates you David won't let go of your side and he's still romantic and I'm just so jealous," she blurted out.
Whoa. That was...WAY TOO FAST! I could barely understand her.
"Lucy, the only thing I caught in that whole little speech was I'm just so jealous. I've got an idea of what the rest is. And I think it's utterly ridiculous you're jealous of me," I said calmly.
She just stared at me. "How could you say that?"
Ugh, look who's talking. "How could you say I'm so lucky and I've never had all my dreams shattered?"
"Hey, Sam, Mom and Dad aren't even concerned that I haven't been accepted into any other university except for D.C. Community College. Which isn't even an university--it's a community college, aka the worst thing that could happen. I bet they don't even know I wasn't accepted anywhere. They've been paying attention to little Katie and Lucia," she said.
"Whoa, back up, little who?" I asked, puzzled.
"Your twins," she said simply and flipped her hair. Typical Lucy.
"Back up. My girls are not going to be named that," I said.
Lucy pouted. "Why?"
"Uh, I don't know, maybe because I'm the mother and I am not choosing those names. In fact, David and I had names picked already."
"What?" she asked. It was like her troubles evaporated. That showed me she was truly jealous and not at all making a scene. Lucy, for real, you have got to concentrate!
"Chandra Rose and Josh Michael," I said.
"You're naming your girl Josh?" she asked with a disgusted face. Her nose actually wrinkled.
"No, that was before we knew we were having twins. Before I went to Dr. Smith."
"Okay, so now they're Katie and Lucia," she nodded.
"Maybe you didn't hear me. No. Where did you get the names anyway," I asked irritably. Lucy made me so mad sometimes--like five minutes ago and now. She wasn't taking anything seriously and was getting side-tracked.
"Katie comes from your best friend Catherine. Get it, Katie--Catherine? And Lucia comes from me, Lucy! Get it?" she said excitedly.
Oh, good. Just what I needed. Repetitive names. These people really don't know me.
"Lucy, umm, no." I said.
She pouted but only for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Well, what do I do about my attention problem?"
The one where you don't pay attention or the one where you get no attention?
Babies started kicking right then. "Lucy, can we talk about this tomorrow?"
"Sure," she said pleasantly. It was like she didn't even care. Then her face clouded, "I'll got IM my college-bound boyfriend now. See ya."
She left before I could say anything, storming off angrily. At whom, I don't know. Maybe it was my unability to talk to her at the moment due to my almost-killing-me-'cause-it-hurt-so-bad cramp and baby kicks or because of her going-to-Yale-on-a-scholarship boyfriend, Harold.
I was left there, sitting on the kitchen counter with no means of getting off dying of pain.
And no one cares. That's just lovely. Okay, so I lied. I would complete five months of pregnancy the next day, Monday. Today was Sunday.
I was peaking out the window when Lucy barged in, flustered but very much excited. "GUESS WHAT?"
"What?" I said meekly. David had gone to dinner with his mom and dad to decide some stuff. They still weren't allowing him back in their house. Pretty soon he's going to get mail at our house. Not that I mind.
"Guess," she commanded, bouncing up and down.
"Uh, you got Mom and Dad to talk to you about your future college choices?" I guessed, not as excitedly as Lucy had been.
"No! Guess again!"
"Umm, Harold isn't going to Yale anymore?"
Her face clouded for a moment and she said, "He is." She smiled again, "Guess!"
This was getting old. "Uh, Harold proposed."
"BETTER!" she bellowed. Okay, what was better than being proposed to?
"He licked stuff off you?" I shot in just for kicks. She gave me a dirty look and playfully shoved me. "Whoa, watch out. This belly isn't getting any smaller and it I fall, I'll be rolling around on it."
SHe laughed, and said, "He and I..."
Oh, I got the picture. "Umm, Did It?"
"YES!" she yelled.
I smiled. I knew how excited you got when you and your boyfriend did it for the first time. Hey, it happened to me a mere nine months or so ago.
"Congratulations, Lucy," I said and high-fived her. "Score!"
"And it didn't even hurt. I don't know why. Maybe because my hyphen is already broken, but I guess it's because I wer a lot of tampons. But practicing on the faucet really doe help. But the feeling is so much better. Sam, it was great. At first, we were nervous, and then I got on top of him and pretended I was riding a cheetah--"
"La-La-La, more than I needed to hear!" I said rather loudly and covered my ears. "Look, I didn't go into details with you when David and I Did It. Please respect me the same way."
She laughed and nudged me back a little. "Well, okay, I gotta go back to my room. We're about to go at it again."
Wait, what? "Lucy--"
Before I could finish, she raced out of my room and shut her door with desire. I don't know how to explain it.
But still. To know that your sister was going at it in the next room, with only thin walls separating you is so disturbing. It's a wonder I didn't hear them the first time.
I decided to go out in the hall. And guess who I found out there, with her ear pressed up against the door? Rebecca.
"Rebecca!" I hissed. "What on earth are you doing?"
"It seems to me that Lucy and Harold are engaging in sexual relations, and I find it rather interesting," she said. Back to her nerdy self, I see. No make-up, ugly clothes...and examining sex souds!!
"Uh," I said disgusted. "I think they should have their privacy."
"Then they shoudl relocate to a nearby motel. In fact, if I am not mistaken, there's one off to the side on I-78 East. They offer beds at a bargain price and it's an overnighter," she concluded.
"Uh, Rebecca, let's leave Harold and Lucy alone while they're, err, engaging in sexual relations," I said and pulled her away from the door.
"Lucy's moaning," she said, pulling back. "Come and listen. It's a rather unusual moan. Of nervousness, I see. You don't sound that way at all when you're with David?"
WHAT?! WHEN I'M WITH DAVID?! HOW WOULD SHE KNOW?!
"Wait, you listen to David and I? How? You're never home," I said, horrified.
"Tape recorders," she said.
WHAT?!
