Ch28 Confession
Alice's POV.
I can not believe just how DUMB my family can be sometimes. First my stupid brother Emmett takes us to the wrong restaurant for our date and then just in the middle of desserts, Edward calls. He's supposed to me on his first date with Bella so why the hell would he be calling me? I had thought as I saw who it was. But of course, he had done something stupid as well and Bella ran away again. GREAT, another date down the drain because lover-boy was still learning how to be the perfect boyfriend. Come on, Really? Is it not bad enough that I have to cover both their asses but now, I have to make sure I fix things between Bella and Edward. Who, by the way hasn't left his damn room since Emmett dumped him there. Its been three whole fucking days. He NEEDS to get out and go find Bella. She would talk to us the other night when we called to find out where she was. No one knew where Jacob lived. And since Edward won't tell anyone what really happened we have no idea why Bella isn't talking to any of us. Or why Edward is bedridden.
"THIS SUCK!" I screamed again.
"Come on, Ally." Jasper said calmly as he squeezed my hand reassuringly, it didn't help as much as he'd hoped it would.
"NO, I mean it. This just sucks!" I said stubbornly. "I want to talk to Bella and I want to know what the hell happened!"
"Alice is right!" Rose agreed strongly. "We have to find her and get her to tell us what's going on because Edward won't get out of his damn bed. How are we going to fix this if we don't know what happened the other night. No one is telling us anything!"
"I'm sure things will work themselves out." Emmett said as he leaned over and kissed Rose's cheek. "Just relax."
"What if Bella is upset right now?" I asked sharply. "Should we just RELAX then, Emmett? NO, we have to find here!"
"Well, try to cell again." Jasper suggested.
"FINE!" I said with a huff and dialed her number. "Hello?"
"Alice? … What are you doing calling me?" Bella answered surprisingly and I resisted the urge to yell in her ears.
"Where on earth ARE YOU?" I asked only slightly yelling.
"Umm, I'm … well what does it matter?" Bella said simply and a little hesitant. "None of you want me there anyway."
"Whatever gave you that stupid idea?" I asked stunned.
"Because what I did to Edward?" Bella said as a matter of fact and I could also hear the gilt in her voice.
"Bella, … none of us know what happened the other night?" I explained trying to calm down so I could talk to her.
"Edward didn't tell you?" Bella asked confused.
"Bella, this is getting us nowhere." I said impatiently. "Tell me where you are so we all can come talk to you. Edward won't leave his damn bed and he is refusing to tell anyone anything!"
"What's wrong with him?" Bella asked concerned.
"We were kind of hoping you could tell us?" Emmett yelled from where he and Rose sat across the room.
"Um, well. I'm not at home right now?" Bella said slowly.
"Yes, we all know that Bella." I said rolling my eyes. "Where are you at then? Tell us so we can come get you. We have to talk!"
"Um, no." Bella said quickly. "No, I'll meet you somewhere. Um we can meet at the diner ok? Yeah or at my house?"
"Bella. … Bella where are you?" I asked suspicious now.
"Ok, ok. Alice, don't freak out ok." Bella said quickly. "Its not what you would think so ok, I'm over at Jake's house."
"OK, and where does he live?" I asked again impatiently.
"Um, oh. Down on the reservation with his dad." Bella said slowly, like she was confused by my question. "Um they live off into the woods but you can meet us at First Beach?"
"FINE, great. See you soon." I said hanging up. "OK, we are going to the beach and like NOW. And no Emm, we aren't swimming."
"Aww come on, Sis?" Emmett whined. "Just a little?"
"NO!" Rose and I yelled together before going to get ready to leave, we ended up yelling back down telling them to get ready.
"EDWARD!" Rose yelled at his door. "Get off your lazy ass and come on. We are going to pick up Bella and to find out what the hell happened the other night! Lets go and I do mean NOW!"
"Not going to happen." Edward muttered just loud enough that we could hear him and that was all we got from him.
We ended up leaving without him and the other guys were all tense from how angry Rose and I were. I couldn't help I was frustrated Bella and Edward were supposed to be a great couple, they have one date and everything goes all to hell. I don't think so! I have to fix this because I'm certain its all over something so stupid and I'm sure head will roll by the time I figure everything out here. Rose drove and the boys sat in the back of the car all the way to the beach. I was too frazzled to drive so Rose took the wheel. By the time we made it down to the beaches, I was feeling a little calmer and was almost ready to handle whatever Bella had to tell us.
"Hi, guys?" Bella said softly and Jacob just nodded beside her, he had his arm slung around her shoulders and squeezed.
"Ok, what happened? Why are you at his place and Why had Edward become a total shut-in?" I asked suddenly.
"Oh, … Umm. I don't know Alice?" Bella answered taken aback. "The other night, I panicked … Edward was trying to ask me something that I just couldn't answer. I was afraid and then Jake showed up and I just … Umm well I ran away."
"We know all that?" Emmett said rolling his eyes now.
"Jacob found me crying in the woods and tried to calm me down. I've been at his place this whole time because I, umm I didn't know what else to do?" Bella explained looking down now. "I was too afraid that Edward wouldn't want me around anymore to go back to your house and I was too afraid that you would all come looking for me at my place, to go home. I didn't know what to do so Jake and his dad said I could crash here for a while."
"Why the hell do you keep running away from Edward?" I asked suddenly, finally getting to the main point.
Everyone around me jumped but I was staring at Bella. "Um, well. Alice… I, … I know I'm not good enough for him." Bella finally explained and everything else made perfect sense now.
"Bella, that's not true." Jacob said as he squeezed her shoulders again reassuringly. "He loves you for who you are."
"Of all the dumb…. BELLA that is the most ridiculous thing I have every heard come out of your mouth!" I said laughing.
"Alice, this isn't funny!" Bella said sharply but I couldn't stop laughing now. "He was trying to ask me to marry him?"
"Congrats SIS!" Emmett called out.
"NO FREAKING WAY?" Rose exclaimed.
"Married? … Ok, I guess I could see him doing that." Jasper said shocked at first but on second thought saw understanding.
"Yeah, I know." I said simply. "In the future Bella, not like he meant today or anything. That ring belongs to our family."
"Well, yeah. … He said that, but I can't marry him?" Bella said sharply and the concern and worry was all over her face.
"And, why the hell not?" Rose asked. "What's wrong with him? Edward is a great guy and he totally loves you?"
"Because, I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Bella shouted suddenly as everyone just started blankly at her. "Doesn't anyone ever listen. I'm not good enough so how could I agree to marry him? All I'd be doing is ruining his life and take away the opportunity for him to be marrying someone special for him!"
"Oh don't be stupid." Rose said calmly. "You were made for each other. Just look at everything you've been through."
"She's right, NOW, get your stuff together because you're coming home and we are going to settle things with you and Edward once and for all." I said as I started pulling on her arm, but she didn't move just yet. "Bella, come on. WORK WITH ME HERE!"
"Even if you ARE right Alice." Bella started slowly. And that's a BIG if. … But Edward will never take me back now, you said it yourself, he's locked away in his room. He won't talk to me or anyone. I ran away from him while he was trying to ask me to someday marry him. I might as well have ripped out his heart!"
"Which he will get over when you tell him YES!" I explain still pulling on her arm. "Emmett, a little help?"
Jacob let go of Bella as Emmett started walking close, Bella protested but Emmett was too strong. It was nice having a giant for a brother sometimes. Emmett simply picked Bella up and started carrying her back over towards our car. The rest of us started following after, leaving Jacob in the dust on the beach. We had more important things to deal with then beach boy back there.
…
Edward's POV.
There was nothing more than I wanted to just drift off to sleep and waist away until I was simply nothing. However, every time I closed my eyes for even a moment, I have the same dream. Waking up next to Bella, her wearing my ring and leading me into the kitchen to find three children waiting for us, only to find that its really Jacob Black's life and not me with them all. I spent the last three days trying to keep myself from falling asleep but knowing that was all I really wanted to do anymore. Nothing else mattered.
BANG. BANG. BANG. The loud knocking on my door was only followed by more shouting and banging. "Open up!"
"GO AWAY!" I yelled back thankful that I locked my door.
"Edward, GET OUT HERE AND TALK TO US!" Rose yelled again as she pounded on the door again and again.
"How about NO!" I muttered before placing the pillow on top of my head to cover my ears from their noise.
"I told you, he wouldn't want to see me." I could barely hear Bella's soft voice whispered through the door.
I didn't really think about what happened next. I just did and before I knew what I was doing, I had the door opened. Everyone was staring shocked at me but I didn't stop, I grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her into my room before once again closing and locking the door. Once the door was closed and locked I could hear everyone else coming to and pounding on the door again. I leaned my head against the bouncing wood and just stayed there.
"Um, … Edward?" Bella asked hesitantly behind me.
I didn't move as I spoke. "Where have you been?" I said dully. "Alice and the others have been worried sick about you. Esme and Carlisle as well. They all were worried when you didn't go back home and you weren't answering your cells?"
"And, … well what about you?" Bella asked cautiously.
"What about me?" I asked confused. "I've been in my bed the whole time so they all knew where I was. Why didn't you answer your cell phone when Alice kept calling you?"
"Weren't you … well you know, worried?" Bella asked hesitantly. "Oh never mind, of course not."
I chuckled without humor. "I wasn't worried." I said still leaning my head against the wooden door, everyone still pounding outside. "I knew you were with Jacob this whole time, so why worry?"
"How did you know that?" Bella asked surprised.
"I saw that Jacob found you in the woods that night." I explained. "When Alice and Rose were complaining about not being able to find you, I assumed you were still with him. It's ok Bella."
"Where did you go after that night?" Bella asked. "Alice said you haven't left this room since Emmett carried you home."
"I've been there." I said simply as I pointed back over at the bed.
"Three whole days, Edward?" Bella asked shocked.
"Yes, Bella three whole days and all I did was stay in bed." I explained again as I finally turned back towards her and then walked back over and laid down on the very same bed.
Bella followed behind me but she didn't sit down, she just stood by the end of the bed, staring back at me. I wondered why she didn't just sit down but I guess a part of me already knew why. She wouldn't want to risk upsetting Jacob in anyway. Which I can completely understand, the part I couldn't was why she was here?
"What's up Bella?" I asked finally.
"I'm sorry Edward." Bella started suddenly and now she wasn't even looking at me. "But the other night, about our date and … umm about that question you asked me. I never answered."
"No worries, I get it Bella." I replied as I laid back and closed my eyes, mostly unwilling to go through this just now.
"I've been talking to the girls and I, … I just don't want you to get the wrong idea." Bella continued anyway. "I run away because I could tell you why I had to say no."
"Bella, I get it." I said a little sharper than I had planned. "I'm sorry but please, just don't say it. I don't need to hear this."
"No, you don't understand." Bella said again. "Edward I just didn't think I could say yes, I didn't think I was good enough."
"Good enough for what Bella?" I asked confused.
"That ring is really special Edward." Bella whisper softly. "And, … well, I just didn't real I could take it from you."
"Bella, … This ring doesn't belong to anyone else." I said honestly. "It doesn't mean anything to me unless its on you."
"But its something special for someone you think is special to you." Bella explained to me. "At the time I didn't think I deserved to feel that special. I wasn't someone special, Edward … or at least that's how I felt before. Then Rose and Alice were talking to me."
"But wait?" I said confused now, … it sounded like Rose and Alice had talked her into take the ring but that's not what she wants. "Bella what about you? What do you want? What about Jacob?"
"What about him?" Bella asked confused now. "Edward, what I'm trying to say is that … I shouldn't be the one to tell you who is or isn't special to you. If you want to be with me and you think I'm worthy, then who am I to say otherwise? If you still feel the same way that you did three nights ago?"
My head was spinning now. … She ran away … because she thought she wasn't special? She was trying to tell me no … because she thought someone else would have been better for me? Bella really believes she's worthless? This is insane! I can't believe this whole time Bella has been feeling unworthy of being with me and I had no idea the enter time! Where the hell have I been? I instantly sat up on the bed and pulled Bella forward so she was now wrapped in my arms sitting on my lap, on the edge of the bed. It all happened really fast and I could hear her surprised intake of breath. Bella's arms instinctively wrapped around me for stability.
"Bella!" I breathed as nuzzled my nose into her neck. "How could you possibly feel unworthy? How could you not feel special around me? Didn't I show you well enough how I feel about you? Don't you know just how much I need you, Bella? I wasn't just saying all that because it sounded nice, I said them because I meant them! Every single word, Bella! I love you and nothing will ever change that. I need you and I need you to be happy!"
For a while nothing happened. I'd finished talking, expecting her to say, … or do something but I got nothing. Then suddenly Bella started sniffling in my arms and clung to me tighter. I realized with shock that she was crying and my heart broke again. I didn't mean to make her cry and worse I didn't know why she was crying.
"Bella,?" I said softly and I gently rubbed her back. "Bella what's wrong? Please, talk to me Bella. What did I do wrong now?"
"No, … No, not you." Bella stuttered through her tears. "I was just so afraid that you were fooling yourself into believing that you loved me. I'd forget to think about the possibility that you really could! I mean, I never dreamed we could really be together because I was never going to be good enough for you!"
"That's ridiculous Bella!" I said strongly as I held her closer to me. "If anything, I'm not good enough for you! But I promise I'll do my very best as long as you'll have me! I'll make you happy!"
"You already do!" Bella said and she lightly kissed me neck and she pulled herself closer to me, I smiled brightly as I held her.
And just like that, Bella and I were back together! I was never going to let anything come between us again. She was never going to feel like she ever has to run away from me. Bella would never feel unwanted or unworthy again, I'm make it my mission! She would know every day that I loved her and that nothing could keep me from her! Every moment of every day will be filled with me telling her, showing her, proving to her; That I love Bella! I'll never let her go again and she will never have to cry again. Also as she wants me around, I'll never allow anything to harm her again! After a while, Bella's tears slowly started to calm and she was relaxing into me as we held each other close. She fit so perfectly in my arms. We sat like this for so long that Bella fell to sleep. She was adorable and I didn't want to wake her so I held her all night!
