Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers
Hasbro owns Transformers
I want to apologize for such a long wait for this chapter. Life had become very,very crazy and work and school are just taking up all my time. I've been feeling pretty glum lately so I'm sorry if my writing isn't all up to par because my mind has been in other places as well. I was also editing this chapter on FF and not once but TWICE I lost all my work, so that's why this chapter is a bit choppy. This is a filler chapter sadly, but not really. It ties up all the loose ends before we continue on. As always thank you for your continued support and love and please enjoy.
Chapter 23 Romanticism
It took a while for all of his systems to come back online. It was like trudging through the mud he hated so much on this planet. He was groggy and in no way wanting to wake up. But something nagged at him in the back of his helm. Sunstreaker's frame wanted to heal and rest but his mind wished to awaken.
He needed to find out who was whispering his name, coaxing him from comfortable darkness. Each sensation came back to him painfully sensitive. The touch and feel of a cold, hard berth. The sounds of hissing and quiet beeps that, no doubt, monitored his every vital, stung his audios. The sound of a gentle voice and feel of a tiny hand brushing his shoulder stood out among other senses. Bravely, he onlined his optics flicking them about the strange room he was in. They dimmed, noting their clear state and not the shattered glass that obscured his vision once before. It wasn't bright as he had expected. It was dark.
He had no memory of this room. It was new. But the darkness. All darkness was the same. He remembered energon and Hypogeum's sweet death. Cries of pain. The darkened hallways that had no end. The dim light through the forest and then Ratchet. He sucked in a deep vent remembering holding onto Felicity as he practically crawled into the room that he was now healing within. He remembered her sobs and the relief of knowing she wasn't gone. She was alive and healing as well.
"Sunny? Can you hear me?", was the gentle voice next to him. He tilted his helm the best he could, flinching from how stiff his overused and strained muscle relays were. His hands flinched and soon he was flexing every limb he could. He felt...numb. More numb than usual. So, he must have sustained major damage from...whatever he did. It was a blur. And when it was a blur he had done something he rather not remember.
"'city?" He finally spoke. He cringed. His voice sounded too hoarse and broken, strained and overused just as much as his frame was.
A tiny hand cupped his chin the best it could. He couldn't see her, or rather his helm couldn't move all that much. His frame was so stiff. Tense as if he had to be ready to attack a threat.
"Yeah, it's me." She whispered. "How're you feeling? Do you want me to get Ratchet?" There was a strange echoed click as crutches were adjusted. It was a click he had to grow used to. He remembered those two metal devices under her arms. Her leg forcefully bent at an angle from a stiff white cast.
Click. Click.
The sound echoed as memories flooded back. He stared at the ceiling living every moment one by one, like a morbid movie he did not consent to witness. His hands clenched tighter and tighter.
"No." He bit forcefully
He felt Felicity's hand lift away. "Sunstreaker…" She called.
He didn't answer. Those things kept her mobile and walking but it was cruel. It was his fault.
"Does it feel good?"
His thoughts froze upon the question, optic ridges creasing. "What?" He whispered.
"Does it feel good? She's gone...right? Hypogeum?" She asked shakily as if afraid of the answer.
That wasn't what bothered him and yet, the vent in his chest he never knew he was holding was released and with it a heavy weight. His frame relaxed and lost it's tension slowly. A flick of a crazed smile. "Yes, it feels euphoric."
The twin could feel her shift uneasily. What expression was upon her telling face? Disgust, annoyance or anger? He growled. He couldn't take this. He had to see her. It was dangerous, yet as carefully as possible he fell back into a dormant state. The mech shouldn't have done it, shutting down each system one by one to standby, but he had done worse. All his energy was placed into a very injured, yet healing holoform of Sunstreaker.
He didn't move when she jumped, startled at his sudden appearance. "Jesus, Sunstreaker." She sighed in exasperation, what expression he wanted to see before was now erased. Using those metal stalks, she made her way closer to him. She balanced those two things under one arm and wrapped the other arm around his shoulders.
Sunstreaker was hesitant to do the same. She was so delicate. "That's...all that matters right?" Felicity murmured unsure. "All that matters is you're here and...oh God I thought..."
He didn't understand. Was she not the one to flinch and back away from such a horrid confession? Afraid of his monster he controlled, loving every moment of a kill?
"...Why?" He murmured. It was his turn to shift uneasily.
She backed away just so and tilted her head looking at him from another angle as if he were under a microscope. He didn't like this. "You've been in stasis for a few days now. Ratchet told me everything. Everything he knew at least. I guess you killed a lot of people and...that's alright. You took what you felt was justice into your own hands. Hypogeum and everyone on that ship is dead and maybe for the better. Slaves would have suffered and those mechs that followed her blindly needed to pay for their sins. Hypogeum...well..." he could tell that the human had time to think of those words then. They were practiced and staged too well. But if she had thought of what to say so intently... "She deserved whatever you did to her."
Sunstreaker saw truth in her words. The fact that she was saying them. Felicity was saying them. Was she not the one to be scared of him that night? Was...? He stopped his thoughts. He was being a fool. He knew she understood him like no other being and yet the stupid question, the same as before escaped his lips. "Why?"
"Why, what?" She was truly confused and he saw this.
"I should be alone right now without you by my side acting like this..." He gestured to his frame. "...is alright. I should be..."
"Acting?" She echoed, not allowing him to finish his sentence. "Is this what you think this is? Acting?" She wasn't yelling or scolding and for that he was thankful. He wasn't in the mood for that. That would come plenty later with Ratchet and Optimus and Primus who knows else.
"What you did was horrendous. What you did maybe could never bee seen but...you are you and you will forever be you. You will be my mentor, my friend, gentle and kind and considerate more so than you could ever imagine. What you were...or whatever you did will not paint you as that person. But what is here..." She placed a careful hand on his chest. "Matters the most." She whispered. "You were brave facing against Hypogeum. You were brave to face your very fear and for that I'm so happy." The hand that was pressed against his chest slowly came up to gently cradle his cheek. Her fingers splayed out across the broken skin as carefully as possible. Her touches were so kind and gentle
Sunstreaker reached up taking her hand. He nodded once and then again leaning into the hand he forced to cup his face more. He stepped closer. "You were brave. So very brave, Felicity." He breathed. "To be able to stand up to a demon like her." It was admirable.
"I had to be brave. For you. No one does that for you. You do that for everyone else."
"I thought I lost you. Everything. I do not wish to again. Not because of me."
"I'm here." The little human whispered. "Always."
"I thought I would lose myself..."
"You didn't. You're still you."
"And...Hypogeum…." He looked up to the ceiling mouth agape in some sort of prayer.
"Gone."
"Feels...so good...Felicity." The incredible weight and satisfaction of knowing he killed the very reason his brother was gone. The sensation of taking justice into his own hands. Forget the repercussions of his actions. Forget what the humans would say or what Optimus would say. All of that didn't matter. He had done what she deserved the most, against all morals and rules of war. He had done what she deserved. Had done unto her what he she had done onto him. Taken the very thing that was ripped from him. His spark felt...free. The burning in his neck gone...forever. The source of its activation...gone. Gone. That word felt so good.
"Sideswipe would be so proud of you." She awkwardly hugged him with one arm while she balanced the crutches under her one arm. He growled. Not to her but because those things inhibited her motions. He took them gently and tossed them onto the ground. The little human did not move, trusting his very actions. She began to lose balance slowly and willingly, knowing that he would be there. He would be there to wrap his strong arms around her and secure her to his chest. He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. She leaned away allowing him to take in her smell. The orange ginger was long gone from her body replaced with that familiar smell of generic medical soap. Whatever the scent may be he was with her.
His sanity. His other. Felicity took in a deep breath. The very action that kept her alive and functioning. The sound of her heart, the whooshing of air into lungs and the hiss of her exhale.
"It always sounds so real." She murmured taking a fistful of his hair and cupping the realistic locks.
He leaned into the touch. A hum. Ever since she had first mentioned the artificial sound of his heart, and what it did to her, he made sure to produce such a comforting sound within his holoform. "Your heart will never sound as real as mine." The rush of red under sun kissed skin. A horrid red he never wanted to see again. The pumping against the surface. The sound of a tiny organ keeping the very being alive. So inferior to their systems and yet so superior within their organic frames.
Living. Breathing. Alive.
It was beautiful.
The very definition of human life.
Sunstreaker never wanted to part from such living evidence of her. Not like this. When they were this close it was always just them. Us. We. His hands trailed every curve of her body, traveling up to the back of her head, and gently clenched a handful of hair. She was alive. Injured but healing...but alive.
"What did you do to her?" She asked suddenly.
He didn't know what to say at first. The suddenness of the question caught him off guard.
"I have to know that-that thing died a rightful death. What she did to you-to Sideswipe! What she did to everyone, what she touched." She spat.
"Her spark. I took her spark. It's mine." He cut her off before her mind began to race a little too much.
Felicity backed away just enough to look him in the eye.
"She took your half spark. It was only fair." A fire that he had never seen in her eye glowed. Over the bond he could feel such heat. It was admirable. Such a tiny little thing she was and yet she had the gall to yell at the Pit Master. A nightmare.
"You were brave. I am proud of you, Felicity." He brushed her fire with his spark. The response made him truly curious.
She moaned before covering it up with a cough. The sensation had to be unreal, euphoric to the little human. Such power he had over her. It was a topic to be explored at a later time. "I had to be. For you. If no one else then for you. I tried but the pain at the time was so much and I don't know if I was in shock or just too scared. I was...I rather not remember."
"I know, I know, and you don't have to. I am sorry that I brought it up."
"No, it's alright. Trust me. I'm tough. I can handle a little cast for three months or so." Felicity's laugh was dry.
She pressed her forehead against his chest. "But Sunny, a voice in my head told me to keep walking. I don't know who or what...But it told me to get up and walk away from the ship after that guard tossed me out. I kept going. I wanted to give up because I was dead for sure and...Just, just something kept me going..." She whispered.
It was wrong to hear that Felicity had accepted that she would have died. It actually scared him. Never did he ever wish to see or hear her speak like that. Sunstreaker brought her closer. He pressed her closer into his chest just realizing how truly grateful she was alive. That they were both were alive.
"Hate to break up the reunion but sadly I have a job to do."
Sunstreaker whipped his head around to glare down at the source of their interruption.
"And that would be?" Sunstreaker hissed.
Felicity backed away a bit hopping on one foot. She smiled down to Lennox.
Felicity offered a small wave as the Major climbed the stairs up to the berth. He didn't pay mind to her to which she frowned at. Sunstreaker did not like that one bit.
"My job." He repeated with a huff. "You two are the most unbelievable people I have ever met. Crazy and wild. God almighty. This one decides to rip her IVs out and have a panic attack in the middle of supposedly being unconscious." He turned to Sunstreaker's holoform. "And you, I don't know a lot about you but enough to know you're pretty 'effed up, more so than the rest of us, buddy."
"Do not call me buddy." He warned, helping Felicity to her crutches.
He sighed in exasperation. Sunstreaker raised an eyebrow. It was a fair warning.
"That was a pretty stunt you pulled." He stood a good distance away.
"You were interrupting something, Major." The holoform turned to him and crossed his arms. Arms that had bandages wrapped in various places. Some bled through a bright red, other a dark burgundy.
"Yeah, well, sorry mech, but higher ups are all over my ass because of this whole mess and they want answers." His voice was softer. "By the way, how are you feeling, Sunstreaker?"
"Better." He didn't like how he had a feeling he knew more than what the human before him led on.
"Good. I'm glad. Mirage wanted to know before he was transferred too"
"Mirage?" He lightened up drastically and to this Felicity looked up to him.
"Friend?" Felicity inquired.
"You can say that."
"He found you in the forest after we got your call. We tracked you down pretty fast. ...You gave us all a scare, to be honest." A watery smile was offered.
She mirrored his gesture. "I would love to meet him someday. I have to thank him after all..." She murmured. "Ratchet too, where ever he ran off to."
"Recharging."
Sunstreaker nodded. "Continue, William."
He stood with his arms crossed, the clip board he had tucked neatly under his arm was brought out to be read.
"I thought it was your right to know and I rather start with this than what I have to ask of you. You know the woman that was in charge of transporting the Cybertronian medical technology? Lisa King?
What felt like a year ago was only truly days ago. How could he forget that orderly human anyhow? "Yes. What about her?"
"Remember she had acquired it from Sector Seven archives?"
"Was it a lie?" He raised an optic brow, shifting uneasily. His holoform flickered. The mech grunted a bit. His frame made a low dull sound. Sunstreaker rerouted more of his energy towards the holoform.
Felicity leaned forward making sure he was alright. He gave the slightest shake of his head to signify that he was fine.
Lennox carried on. "Her contact wasn't Sector Seven but Hypogeum."
Sunstreaker narrowed his eyes. They glowed a brighter blue. "And how am I supposed to believe this? This can not be simple happenstance."
"It's all here in her confession, that's how. Lisa was told to request you as an escort. Hypogeum had known you were here on this planet because of a...tracking device." He read slowly in disbelief. "Jesus..."
He cut him off before he asked for personal business. "Continue." He warned.
"Ah, she needed you closer to her location, got you to come here, and then tracked you down and I guess Felicity got involved somehow? Leverage? Hostage? Right?" He guessed.
"Sure." Sunstreaker said before Felicity spoke and revealed anything. They didn't know of his true reason being here. They didn't know she was wrapped in this by terrible, terrible accident. By cruel fate.
"That was her plan all along."
Felicity who had been silent this whole time shifted, causing Sunstreaker to look down to her. "My God." She whispered. "But why...? What could have been her motives to to deal with...her?"
"That is my question as well. A human, no less." Sunstreaker confirmed.
"Protection and money for her brother."
Sunstreaker sucked in a deep invent. He laughed bitterly covering up such a pained sound. "From Hypogeum?" He huffed. "That femme played that tune to her too, hmn?"
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing." He had never met The former Pit Master. The human could never dream of her hideousness even if he tried. He rather that no one saw her. Witnessed her terribleness. No mater who it was human or Cybertronian. He felt all the more better that he ridden the world of her existence. Rid of the siren song she sang to those so desperate. In a way he didn't blame the human for giving into her. Her tantilizing voice was delcious to virgin ears or audios. Just like they were to his.
"Her punishment?"
But. She placed Felicity's life in danger as well as his and many more. That was unforgivable to him.
Lennox however, was caught off guard by the sudden question from such a long beat of silence.
"You said something about her brother. Is he...?"
"No, he wont be charged for anything. He had nothing to do with her and the femme, his sister said that. Lisa King was arrested for espionage among other offenses in a long list. She will spend a good chunk of her life in prison for her stunt. Steven will try and take as many years off her sentence as possible."
"Wait." Sunstreaker set his jaw as Felicity's expression fell. He saw her thinking and the more she did the more her voice became tiny. She shook her head. "Not Steven, Steven..."
Lennox nodded. "The kid isn't taking it so well but he's trying." He lightly explained.
"If my sister betrayed her own kind and almost had Felicity and I killed, I wouldn't be as well." The holoform bit.
Felicity remained silent, lips pursed and expression saddened, unaffected by Sunstreaker stinging and burning words. Her gaze that was flicked up to Lennox was telling. "Don't." Thankfully he obeyed.
When the silence went on for too long Lennox spoke. "I thought you had the right to know who threw you under the bus, Sunstreaker. I know...this wasn't easy for the both of you but I'm here for a few things and I will leave you two be. I wanted to see if you were up because I need answers fast. I need know where the ship is so that they can block it off from civilians for a while until we can figure out what to do with it. That's a given."
"That is not a given. You will not know the exact location nor will I give it." Sunstreaker curtly explained without moving. His gaze remained fixed.
"You want to hide what you did, I get it. But for safety reasons I need to know."
Sunstreaker clenched his hands into tight fists. His holoform flickered. It was getting hard to sustain it the more he became angered. "No."
Lennox nodded his head once slowly not exactly knowing how to push his argument without losing his head. Felicity kept close by to Sunstreaker. "It's alright Sunny, they know-."
"They know nothing of what I can do. What I did. They will not see what I have done. I will rid of the ship myself." He bit harshly looking at her over his shoulder,
"What do you mean?" The Major was losing his patience but tried not to show it. He failed. For too long Sunstreaker had observed an listened.
"It is under my jurisdiction now. Lie to your leaders, human."
Lennox placed a finger and thumb on the bridge of his nose. "I'm trying to work with you Sunstreaker. Can't you see-?"
"Discharge me then."
His shoulders sagged. "Now you're being dramatic." More of his patience was thinning by the tone of his voice. Somehow it angered him more.
"I am doing what I must to prevent that ship from landing in human hands. Make your blockade around the ship. Leave the ship to me. That is all I ask. I will do nothing with it. I will not flee. Just…leave it to me." He hated how Felicity had heard his beg because he stepped forward to grip his arm gently.
Sunstreaker, stop, in the morning we can-." She stopped realizing her words were falling on deaf ears. She let go of him and stepped back a bit. She respected his silent wish
Sunstreaker's gaze was locked onto him. Lennox began to waver under it. He stared him down. He saw he was thinking. "I can make a perimeter around the ship. Fence it off. Whatever. I will say the Autobots will use it to their advantage. What about Optimus? Do you think I can get some sort of briefing of the events that happened there while-?"
"Hypogeum was disposed of and so were her henchman. That is all that mech needs to know."
Lennox unfolded his arms and shook his head. "I can't believe this..."
"Will, if I may..." Sunstreaker tuned to her unusual small voice. "A lot of...complicated events led up to Sunstreaker's actions. Actions that may have been way out of line but actions that could have saved many lives. What I saw...could never be spoken of or seen again. I don't really want to talk about them for a long while. What...Sunstreaker may have done remains between the three of us and Ratchet. Deep down, Will, you know you trust Sunstreaker and deep down you shouldn't be afraid of him. Please. Just this once you need to work with him. I know it's easier said than done but lie Lennox. You won't regret it."
Sunstreaker holoform flickered again, light particles falling from his image like sand. He hid a grunt of frustrated pain. "We will speak more of this. What she and I said should hold your human leaders over. I need to..." Sunstreaker held his forehead with the palm of his hand. Before he could keep his holoform online his mind betrayed him. He was already falling back into a light stasis.
His image flickered out before he could finish his sentence. Felicity reached out to the holoform almost falling over. She stayed where she was, hand curling into a loose fist. She heard his frame whine in stress before it quieted into stasis.
Lennox sighed, with it relief. "He's something, isn't he?"
She turned to him finding her voice. "He does what he has to." She said firmly.
"Let me know when he's awake again." He was frustrated and rightfully so. This whole situation went on for days and it wasnt a threat that was Decepticon oriented. A threat that was from long ago resurface that only Sunstreaker could and would ever understand or could have defeated. What made them? Optimus and Lennox and the others? Useless. That didn't give him the right to demand so much of him so soon into recovery. It was strange.
"I won't, Will. And you know why. You have to respect him."
"And he has to respect military order."
"He isn't military. He never was. He was the Autobots' loose cannon. He was never under any order. Tell your higher ups to shove it up their asses. I may be civilian but I know right from obvious wrong." She hissed. Lennox was stressed and under pressure. That itself changed a person. But to demand so much of a person when they themselves have no idea of what happened or in their past?
Felicity bit the bullet. "She was the one that killed his brother, Will." She leaned forward in an almost begging like manner.
It was enough. She saw his expression relax. His stance relaxed. His shoulders sag. "What?" He choked. "Is that why...?" He looked down to the floor. "What did he do to her? To the ship?"
"I won't tell you. That's what Sunstreaker wants. That ship has everything and I mean everything that is Sunstreaker. That ship was his past. He's doing this to prevent people from seeing his past. What he did and what he is capable of. You know he's dangerous but he would never betray or hurt anyone he loves, including the people at N.E.S.T. or innocents. What he needs is truly on that ship-the closest thing he could ever be to his home. Closure. Respect his wishes. Just for now."
She sighed half turning as if dismissing herself. "It's late. I have been up for awhile. I need a nap." The human said her words in a broken manner.
It took a while for him to come up with a sentence after such a speech. "Yeah...yeah…me too."
The only sound that broke the silence was the echoed click of her crutches meeting the metal berth and the sound of distancing footsteps.
Felicity laid next to Sunstreaker. She never left his side nor slept like she had said she would. She watched as he vented steadily. "Something else..." She echoed. A hand was scrubbed down her face as she leaned against his side carefully as possible.
"You need your sleep." He grumbled suddenly.
She was too tired to jump from the sudden rumble of his voice. "So do you. Shut up and go back to sleep." She sighed. The human felt the soft breath of laughter.
The little human peered up to him with a small smile. A hand was bought around her gently and in return she patted the plating. She trailed her hand along one of his clawed fingers. "I can't."
"Then stop thinking."
"You should too."
She sighed again in defeat. "Damn it, Sunny..."
"I will only rest when you rest."
The little human scoffed. "Reminds me of when you were healing so long ago and Ratchet told me to make sure you never fell into recharge because he was 'afraid' you would go in stasis."
Sunstreaker tilted his helm. "I remember, you wouldn't fraggin' eat."
For the first time her blue-green eyes glittered. "And you made fun of me for trying to sketch you."
A hum as he fell hard for those hazel eyes. "Then you couldn't resist my shirtless self."
She scoffed. "Keep telling yourself that." She whacked his hand gently.
He tilted his helm with a small curve to his lips.
She spun around the best she could looking into his glowing optics. She turned serious. "Has a weight been finally lifted off of your chest Sunny? Do you need me anymore? Did I help you….again? Are you...alright?"
The mech's frame whined in pain. "Felicity...yes, but know this, I will always need you. As long as you are bonded to me, you are forever mine and I am yours. I promise."
Her shoulders sagged in relief. "You better believe it." A watery smile crossed her lips.
"Not only that 'city. I have her spark. I have her dagger. I have evidence she is gone for good. I do not know when I will return to her ship, because of lingering wounds but when I do, I will rid of her and the slaves bodies."
"Bodies?"
Sunstreaker paused, afraid he had told to much. He didn't want to hide from her. not anymore. "I told you I lost myself. I killed everyone, Felicity." He didn't want to sugar coat it.
She gritted her teeth, setting her jaw. Everyone. Including the innocent...the slaves? She looked away trying to believe the words she said. "They were better off."
"Maybe." He said offhandedly. "I don't remember anything and when that happens...I rather not remember." He flicked his optics away from her. "It usually became ugly. Very...ugly..."
Felicity nodded her head. She was tired. emotionally and mentally. She could only offer so much assurance before she lost some of her own. She didn't mean to blow him off but it was tiring. She had to regroup herself. "It's okay Sunstreaker. It's alright. I'm here. You're alright too. Just..." She paused in frustration not knowing how to word her next sentence. The little human smiled to cover it up. "Rest up okay? We'll deal with it when we regroup, settle a little bit, and heal. That's all that matters, okay?"
If he had heard her frustration thankfully he didn't dwell or question her. It was better left unsaid or he understood all too much. He offlined his optics sighing falling asleep to the sensation of her rubbing her hand over his clawed fingers.
