I apologize for the slow update. This week ended up being pretty busy.

Warning: sexual content


Chapter 28

"Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place. The greatest pleasure isn't sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim." ― Paulo Coelho

I shuffled back and forth, pacing in my bedroom nonstop and possibly wearing a hole in the tatami mats. The palms of my hands were slick with sweat despite my icy fingers. My stomach then rolled uncomfortably, making me want to lose what little food I managed to swallow at dinner. My heart was pounding so rapidly that if felt like it was about to bounce out of my chest and hop away like a bunny.

Had I been too bold earlier?

When I told Souji I'd come to his room tonight, even I'd admit I sounded smooth. But then the creeping nervousness arrived during dinner like an unwelcomed guest as I realized the weight of what I had said.

I'd come to his room tonight? God almighty! What was I thinking to say that?

In my past life, I was never the one to initiate sex. Plus, any emotion I may have felt for my past partners, which was pathetically lacking in almost every possible way, couldn't even compare to what I felt for Souji. For them, I didn't really care as much if my performance sucked because they were still getting sex. But for Souji…

Oh God! What if I sucked? What if I didn't rock my hips enough? What if he didn't think I was pretty enough for him? What if—

I groaned before I sank to my knees. Noooo… There were too many "what if's". I was as insecure as a friendless teenage girl with no date at prom.

Instead of getting back up and heading towards Souji's room like in the original plan, I just scooted my butt from the center of the room to the side so I could lean my back against the wall and play with my fingernails. At this point, I wished that I had nail polish just so I could peel it off my nails as a distraction. But just as so happens I didn't need to be distracted as much as I thought.

I didn't even notice I wasn't alone in my room anymore until I was flicked on the forehead. When the blurry figure in front of me solidified, my face burned so much that I immediately had to avert my eyes out of fear of fainting.

How mortifying it was to see Souji kneeling in front of me with a satisfied slanted grin and a quirked eyebrow!

"It looks like I could boil water just by setting the pot on your forehead, you know," he commented, placing a hand on my cheek to make me look back at him while his shoulder shook in silent laughter.

At least he was enjoying my anxious torment.

"I—you—umm—," I blabbered, stuttering uncontrollably with eyes as wide as dinner plates when I attempted to speak before giving up and settling on the relatively simple, "Hi."

It sounded almost silly after my blundering and I glowed red again. At this point, I believed that I looked closer to embers in a fire pit than an actual human. And by going off of Souji's wicked grin as he rubbed my cheek, I bet I felt as hot too.

Souji chuckled at my simplified response before taking a seat next to me, bumping thighs with me as he did so. "It looks like the tables have turned. Your turn to be nervous now, huh?"

I pouted, despite my blush, as I played with the hem of my sleeves. The dull design and plain color of my white sleeping robe made it increasingly hard to distract myself from my embarrassment. I settled on staring at a loose thread as my fingers tugged on the edges of the sleeves. I took a deep breath before I willed my eyes to meet Souji's.

The smile that he adorned earlier slid off his face as he took my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. His face, growing serious as he looked me in the eye.

"We don't have to go through with anything tonight if you don't want too. I won't force you to do anything." His voice was as gentle as the caress of his thumb on the back of my hand. "I'll understand if you just said it the heat of the moment."

"I might have said a few things in the heat of the moment," my hands tighten around his as my gaze slipped down toward our intertwined hands, "but that doesn't mean that I didn't mean it. I really do want to tonight. It's just…"

I fell silent like I wasn't sure what I wanted to say, but it was the opposite. I knew exactly what I needed to say. The words, however, got caught in my throat. They weren't physical objects, I felt myself choking on them. I didn't want to admit out loud that I thought I might not be good enough for him. Saying it out loud just breathed life into my suffocating doubts, made them feel factual and real.

"What if… What if I'm not good in bed? What if I'm not pretty enough for you?"

Arms wrapped around me and pulled me right onto his lap. With a swift flick of his hand, my hair came tumbling down as Souji plucked my kanzashi from my hair and placed it on my desk right beside him. He flipped my hair over my right shoulder before I felt his nose grazed the nape of my neck, causing shivers as he exhaled slowly.

"I don't know about the not good in bed part since we've never done it before, but that not a big deal," he said, reassuring me. "I haven't been with another woman before so I have no idea if I'm good or bad in bed either. We can learn together. As for not being pretty enough?" He paused dramatically. "I think you're more than just pretty," he whispered into my neck before his hand came up from behind to cup my breasts through my clothing. I sucked in a shaky breath just as I felt him squeeze lightly.

"But you haven't seen me bare in years, with the last time being when we were children in a completely different situation. When you were then and I was eight, when we were bathing in a sentō together with Otou-san for the last time. How would you know if I hadn't grown ugly during that time?"

"Because beauty isn't just skin-deep." He started to pepper light kisses in a trail on the back of my neck before he gave my breasts a slightly rougher squeeze to prove a point. "Besides, from what I can tell," he whispered, nipping the tip of my ear as he did so, "you have a very nice body shape and your breasts are a good size. Even I can tell they're perky through your clothing."

His thumbs then slowly crawled across my covered breasts until they were right on top of my nipples. I sucked in another sharp breath as he rubbed them. Then as if that weren't enough for him, he then suddenly slipped one hand into my clothing and caressed a naked breast for the first time.

"Souji!" I gasped in surprise, jumping slightly in his lap before turning my head to look back at him. He certainly looked very smug to have enticed a reaction like that out of me.

"Feels good, right?"

I nodded with a strange type of mute shyness I never really had before this. I felt Souji's chest rumble behind me from my answer before he pecked the back of my neck one last time and removed his hand, much to my disappointment. Before I was able to protest, Souji stood up, swooping me up in his arms as he did so.

"Let's move somewhere a little more comfortable, shall we?" he said, sounding almost like he was joking sarcastically. "I don't know about you, but I prefer that my first time isn't against a wall. We can save that for later when we're a little more experienced."

I hummed in agreement before finding my voice to jokingly say, "I'm holding you up to that. We better have some really hot wall sex later."

He burst out laughing before nuzzling the side of my face endearingly with his nose.

Crossing the room, he came to a stop at my futon and set me down on my back before he crawled on top me. He felt heavy, yet I wasn't restrained in any way nor did I feel crushed. It was the feeling of having a warm blanket on a cold bitter winter's night. Then as soon as he settled on top of me, he lowered his lips onto mine as his warm hands busied themselves by bunching my sleeping robe up at my hips so he could rub my upper thighs.

The kiss was slow and languid as his tongue slipped into my mouth without asking, knowing that he was welcomed there. If there was any way of kissing melted hot chocolate, then I swear it was this. His lips rolled gently over mine, building up incredible heat as tongue caressed the inside of my mouth. He tasted sweet. He tasted addicting. And then, the real sensational part started.

Pulling away from my lips, he trailed down to my neck, nipping and sucking as he moved down until he hit the collar of my sleeping robe. I let out a small sigh of satisfaction before spreading my legs so he could rest comfortably between my thighs. I could feel him poking me through his hakama just as his hips made contact with mine. He then paused, his chest vibrating as he let out a low groan when I shifted my hips and rubbed up against him.

"Shizuka…," he mumbled before he pulled away by sitting up. He looked me directly in the eyes as he laid his hand flat against my stomach, where the sash holding my sleeping robe shut was tied. "I'm going to undress you now."

He didn't undo my sash right away. He just held onto the end while looking at me, for any signs that I changed my mind about this whole night. Instead of giving him the verbal okay to continue, I took ahold of my own sash, just below his hand, and tugged on it. The sash came untied in seconds. Souji wasted no time pushing my sleeping robes open afterward before discarding his own clothing in a rush, eager to press himself against me again. Our clothes were left in a scattered mess across the room.

As if resuming from where he left off, his lips made contact with my lower throat before sinking lower until they were nestled between the valley of my breasts. One of his hands crawled up, leaving a tingling trail up my sides, until it came to rest on top of a breast. His mouth then moved, coming to enclose around the nipple of the opposite breast.

"Oh!" I couldn't resist exclaiming when he sucked on my sensitive flesh, causing my back to arch up and my hips to rub against him even more. He stopped sucking on my breast briefly to let out a hiss at the contact.

"Shizuka—Mmm!"

He then pushed his hips down against mine to release some of the pressure building up in him before latching on to my breast again with his mouth. Then when he had his fill, he started traveling downward again. His hand running down my sides as he kissed my belly lovingly before returning to my lips just in time to swallow my voice as I cried out.

"Shh, not too loud," Souji whispered mischievously into my ear as soon as he released my hips, his voice sending heavenly shivers down my spine while igniting a slow burning fire in the pit of my belly. "We don't want to attract any unwelcome visitors."

"True, but if they know what's good for them, they should be in bed by now. It is pretty late," I pointed out logically before I placed my hand flat on his chest to shove him so I could roll over on top. He let me with ease.

Souji snorted at my answer as his hands rested on my hips. "Not quite, Shizuka. I bet if anyone of the guys heard any of the sounds you just made, they'd come running just to see why. It wouldn't matter if they were in bed or not."

"And I imagine interruptions would be bad right now," I said faux-seriously, bursting out into giggles as Souji wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively to go along with his smug grin. "Oh, so terrible~"

"Yes. Bad," he agreed playfully, pinching my hip with one of his hands to entice a squeak out of me. "So let's keep the interruptions as imagination, shall we?"

I giggled again before running a finger down the lines of his chest between his muscles. He was so handsome with his strong muscles, cocky attitude, playful persona, and his beautiful green eyes.

I remember the first time when I met Souji. I remember seeing his eyes and comparing them to emerald. Emerald was a stone. The stone was cold and lifeless despite its beauty, just like my mother's eyes. But Souji's eyes, while beautiful, were anything but cold and lifeless. They were lively and vibrant. His eyes were the color of the spring leaves that grew while surrounded by blooming flowers on a warm sunny day.

"So?" Souji cut in, disturbing my thoughts with his iconic sarcastic, joking voice. Yet, I could hear the slightest quivers of uncertainty well-hidden in the weavings of his voice. "How about me? Am I good-looking enough for you?"

I pressed a kiss to his chest. "There was never a doubt about it in the first place. But, you know, it isn't your physical appearance that makes you most handsome, though the muscles do add more points."

Like a bazillion points, to be more precise, to an already irresistible package.

"Oh?" He quirked an eyebrow at me, indicating I had his interest. "Then what is it that makes me so irresistible? I'd like to know for future reference."

"Well," I said as I wiggle my hips against him more, causing him to suck in a sharp breath before grabbing my hips to still me, "I love the confidence you exude when you handle a sword. But what I think makes you the sexiest is your cocky attitude."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrow, which was laced with his smugness, before swiftly rolling me back onto my back as he pinned me in place with a grin decorating his face. "I guess I can't deny you, my dear," he said, faking his resign. "If you like me cocky then I suppose I could be cockier just for you."

Then he sealed my lips with his again just as shifted his body so his fingers could comfortably slink down below my hips and between my thighs to touch me. My cry was muffled as my hips buckled against his hand. At his touch, it felt as if a small ember in the pit of my belly exploded into a full flame. Souji froze for a second as if he were surprised by the force of my reaction. His eyes went slightly wider before he removed his hand so he could observe the slick fluid that now covered his fingers.

I flushed at the sight of my fluids covering his fingers. Obviously, I knew that would happen but knowledge of something never really quite prepares you for the actual event. For a moment, I thought he might be even a little grossed out by it. Instead, he brought his fingers together before spreading them apart slowly to observe how the fluid moved before his fingers went back to prod and rub my sensitive spot, causing me to writhe beneath him as I let out another cry. His eyes were trained on my face, looking for changes in my expression.

Souji stilled his fingers and wiped the fluid coating them on the blankets below after as he elicited one more moan from me before he moved his face to the crook of my neck. He didn't bother putting his lips on my neck to suck on the sensitive flesh nor did he kiss it. Instead, sucked in a deep breath like he was trying to breathe in my scent for courage before shifting his body so that he could wrap his arms around me.

"I planned on making this special for you," he murmured as we embraced each other. His eyes captured mine in an almost hypnotic manner when he turned his gaze back onto my face. "I want to make this special for you. But honestly, I don't know how. I've never done anything like this at all before. I've heard some stories some of the guys have told so I know what I'm supposed to do, but that's about it."

It was impossible to tell where Souji's limbs ended and mine began. His warmth seeped into my skin and through my bones, warming my very soul. While we had yet to join, it already felt like we were one. I could feel our thoughts and emotions reach out for each other before entangling themselves with one another. It was like, for a magical moment, that one of those love myths about the constellations above in the sky came to life and we were the lovers in those myths.

I kissed his lips in a surprisingly chaste manner in spite of the situation before stroking his cheek with the back of my finger. "You don't need to worry about making this special. It already is because I'm with you. I don't need anything else," I whispered to him.

Souji chuckled at my answer like my words had removed all the doubts he had and leaned even closer into my touch as I nuzzled the side of his face. Even if we didn't continue and just laid there, bare as the day we came into this world and in each other's arms, he wouldn't have cared. He was just so satisfied to lay here with me.

This was the type of moment where anyone would just throw out any preconceptions of love they had before because this redefined everything. Because anything anyone would have thought before would pale in comparison. And while I could not hear the thoughts Souji had racing through his head at the moment, I knew his exact thoughts because we were sharing the same thoughts.

I have found the one.

Something like this sounded absurd to my logical half. The population of people living on this planet was so large that there couldn't possibly only be one person, one special person. The so-called true love. But there was only one Souji that shared history with me and it was that history that we shared that made me believe. It was that shared history I had with him that made me fall so irrevocably for him. He was the one.

Souji kissed me one more time before he propped himself up on his elbows as he hovered over me. And then I felt him. I felt his tip just barely nestled against the folds my entrance.

"Shizuka, I'm going to take you now," he announced, looking me in the eye to give me one last chance to back out. I just offered him a smile as a confirmation. I was his to take.

I could feel him slowly push in, the tip easily easing into me. And that's when the bedroom door opened, making Souji instantly pull what little he had within me out as he blocked the intruder's view of me with his broad shoulders.

"Shizu-chan, I need you to help me with—EHHH?!" Otou-san practically yelled as his face burn brighter than molten steel. He waved his hands uselessly in front of himself before slapping both hands over his eyes with a very audible slap. "S-Shizu-chan! S-Souji!"

"Kondou-san!" Souji exclaimed, his face also the same shade as Otou-san's as he literally leaped off me and lunged for his clothing. The worst type of intruder. The man he adored more than anything and my father.

I, on the other hand, didn't have as large of a reaction as those two. Instead, I nervously wrapped the blanket around myself to cover up, afraid to accidently attract more attention if I did say anything. It was mortifying enough as it was for Otou-san to walk in on us. But according to the universe, it wasn't enough.

"Kondou-san!" I heard Hijikata-san exclaim in surprise before I heard the sound of footsteps. Oh God, smite me now! "What is it? What's the commotion all—SOUJI?! SHIZUKA?! DID YOU TWO JUST—"

"Oh God…" I moaned, covering my face with my hands for a brief second before looking to Souji, who somehow managed to struggle into just his hakama. His face was still red, but there was a hint of some bitterness when he saw Hijikata-san. "Souji, grab them quickly and shut the doors! Quick! Before they draw more attention and send everyone running here!"

That was more than enough make Souji spring into action. Moving faster than I have ever seen him move, Souji nabbed both men by the wrist and dragged both stumbling into the room before snapping the doors shut a bit louder than was needed. Otou-san landed neatly on his butt, courtesy of Souji, while Hijikata-san landed on his face with his butt ungracefully sticking up in the air. That was also done by courtesy of Souji.

Nobody said anything for the longest time. Souji, still red-faced, sat beside me on the futon as he finished putting on the rest of his clothing in a sloppy rush. Otou-san and Hijikata-san both sat directly in front of us, Otou-san still with his hands over his eyes and Hijikata-san with his eyes trained on the small gap between the tatami mats on the floor. Finally, I let out a loud audible sigh before pulling the blanket slightly higher so it covered my cleavage.

"You can look now," I said, taking into account everyone's embarrassed flush. "We're all properly covered now."

I probably should have dressed instead of just using my blanket to cover up but I wasn't going to dress with other men in the room, even if they weren't looking. Plus, I'm willing to bet some of that red in Hijikata-san's ears was from anger. He wouldn't be able to scold me to his fullest if he saw that I was dressed in nothing but a blanket.

Otou-san's loud gulp sounded in the silent bedroom like a loud gong before he peeked between his fingers at me and Souji before fully removing his hands. His blush hadn't decreased one bit. In fact, he just glowed even redder when he looked at my face briefly.

"I-I—Sorry!" Otou-san exclaimed, averting his eyes as he was unable to maintain eye contact with me. "I should have announced myself first and waited for permission to enter! I-I didn't mean to i-interrupt you two!"

"Kondou-san!" Hijikata-san barked, making it a point not to look at me. "You shouldn't be apologizing! In fact, I'm pretty sure I told Souji that he wasn't allowed to touch Shizuka intimately before marriage! Neither of us should have even walked into something like this!"

"Sure," I commented sarcastically, "yell louder. I'm sure that we need to attract an audience for this. And when did you even talk to Souji about this?"

Hijikata-san snapped his head towards me to scold me but immediately flushed again and turned to scold Souji instead when I "accidently" let the blanket slide down a little to reveal some cleavage. However, he couldn't even bark out a single word when he and Souji made eye contact. Instead, a tense silence passed between the two, ending with Hijikata-san averting his eyes with something that almost felt like guilt.

Both men still hadn't spoken to each other since Tonouchi's death. The tension was so tangible that it made the air thick and difficult to breathe.

No longer flushing, Otou-san exchanged a look with me before he cleared his throat to get both men's attentions. "Ah, um… Souji, why don't you come with me on a quick walk. I want to discuss something with you. Toshi, why don't you stay here and keep Shizu-chan company?"

"Kondou-san?" Hijikata-san asked, looking utterly confused as he pinched his eyebrows together. He then sighed and looked down to pick at the tatami mat. "Fine."

"Come along, Souji. I need to ask you a few questions."

Souji glanced me one last time before quietly following Otou-san out like an obedient child.

When Hijikata-san and I were left alone in my bedroom, I cleared my throat in order to banish the awkward silence that had settled between us. Hijikata-san looked up to say something but immediately averted his eyes again with red dusting his cheeks.

"Hurry up and get dressed!" he barked at me. "I can't talk to you when you're like… When you're wearing nothing!"

"I'm wearing a blanket," I pointed out smartly, enjoy the brief moment when the red exploded all over his face from that tiny blush he had before. "That's something."

"Shizuka!"

"Fine. Fine. I'll put something on. Just get out first. I'm not dressing with you in the room."

Hijikata-san practically bolted out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him before yelling, "I'm giving you five minutes! You better be done when I come back in!"

I snorted. Like I needed five minutes to put my sleeping robe back on. It's not like it had multiple layers like a kimono. And as much as I wanted to make Hijikata-san as uncomfortable as possible for being a cockblock, I wasn't about to flash him.

I dropped my blanket back onto the futon before standing up to go fetch my sleeping robe that had ended up sprawled across the room near my cabinet. As I picked it up, I paused and opened up the cabinet to pull out a clean towel. I wiped the wetness between my legs away with the towel, hissing and feeling jittery as it made contact with the still sensitive flesh. I clenched my legs together in an attempt to get the tingly warmth to go away as I dropped the towel in the laundry basket before dressing.

"You can come in again," I called through the door just as I sat back down on my futon.

Hijikata-san reentered the room, sliding the door closed behind him as he narrowed his eyes at me. "Souji broke your hymen, didn't he? I heard that hiss from all the way outside," he stated just as he sat down right in front of me.

I gave Hijikata-san a slanted frown. "He, unfortunately, didn't get to push in far enough to break it. And just for your information, not all women are born with a hymen[1]."

I may have one now but I was actually born without one in my past life. Imagine my surprise when I found that I didn't bleed after my first time.

"What?" Hijikata-san gave me a furrowed look. "Then how do women always bleed after their first time?"

"One, they probably had rough sex without properly being lubricated first. Or, two, they cut their upper thigh secretly so it looked like they were bleeding from a broken hymen. It's either that or risk looking like a harlot."

He grumbled with his arms crossed. "Then what was that hiss I hear earlier if your hymen is still intact?"

"Oh…" It was my turn to flush. "I'm still… it's sensitive down there still…"

Hijikata-san looked like he didn't want to hear that and pretended not to notice when I wiggled my hips a little to ease the arousal that just refused to go away.

"So!" I quickly said to change the topic of the conversation. "Why haven't you spoken to Souji yet? You two should make up. It wouldn't just merely be bad if you two just keep letting your relationship deteriorate like this. You have to think about how the consequences of letting this relationship deteriorate will affect the Roshigumi as a whole."

"Oh, that," Hijikata-san said, now looking more comfortable instead of the bright red he was before. "Kondou-san and I were coming to chat to you about that actually. The Roshigumi has been granted an audience with the Lord of Aizu two days from now. Kondou-san and Sannan-san want to display some matches for him to watch to show our strength. I was planning on having Souji face Sannan-san and I wanted your opinion on that."

"Actions speak louder than words. Clever way of reconciling."

There was no better way to make up with Souji than this. Sannan-san had a menkyo kaiden[2] in Hokushin Ittō-ryū style so he was pretty well-known. Souji, while strong, was relatively unknown. By allowing Souji to face Sannan-san in an official match in front of a Lord, Souji could show off his talent as a swordsman and get people to acknowledge Otou-san, the one who taught him kenjutsu.

"Good? I thought so. We're going to make the announcement tomorrow along with who's participating in the other matches. So don't tell anyone yet, okay?" Hijikata-san said. "It's supposed to be a surprise."

I hummed in agreement before I noticed Hijikata-san quickly switching his attention onto my futon and then back onto me. He suddenly had that "older brother" look on his face that I was normally fond of. The one where he furrowed his brows while thinking before he would nod to himself silently like he was proud of figuring something out.

But there was nothing about this particular "older brother" look that I liked. It was intrusive.

"I know you and Souji love each other and you two want to be intimate with each other, but some things are better left until after marriage," he said, sounding all so sophisticated as he nodded some more, satisfied with his wording. It was amazing how fast this conversation changed subjects. "You two shouldn't be sleeping together yet. Not before marriage."

I adored Hijikata-san and all, but I really wasn't in the mood for this, especially since Otou-san seemed okay with me and Souji sleeping together. I could understand where Hijikata-san was coming from. I could see the benefits in waiting till marriage for sex. However, him thinking that he could decide this for me?

It pissed me off. How was any of this his business? He was neither my guardian nor significant other. He was just a family friend that took an interest in me one day when I was a child and took on the role of "older brother".

I turned my nose up at him and spat, "Or you could keep your nose out of this."

Hijikata-san looked like he just listened to some sour music and immediately scowled at me. I cut him off before he could retort to me since I wasn't in the mood for confrontation.

"But I get it." I sighed, letting all the anger and annoyance go. My answer stunned him silent.

Now wasn't the time for fights. There were already too many larger things to focus on and stress over at the moment, like getting Aizu to pay for the Roshigumi's services. I didn't want to add my own crap to the already massive, headache-inducing list. Plus, I didn't want to argue with Hijikata-san. I hated it whenever I had a legitimate, serious altercation with him. Those always ended with him giving me the silent treatment, which, in turn, made me feel like I was walking around with a missing arm.

"Hijikata-san, you know, if you just requested that I wait, I would have listened since I do understand the logic behind it. Pregnancy before marriage isn't exactly easy to deal with." Or STDs, but since Souji and I weren't infected with any and weren't planning on sleeping with anyone else, that wasn't really going to be a problem. "Plus, I also know how particularly shameful it would look to outsiders if they heard rumors that the daughter of one of the Captain Commanders was promiscuous. I know it would taint their impression of Otou-san. However, I would appreciate it if you don't just randomly decide thing for me in the future."

"Well, as long as you get it…" He relaxed, letting out a big breath of relief I was sure he didn't know he was even holding in.

Then Hijikata-san seemed to understandably perk up as soon as he heard a set of footsteps stop at the door, something to take his mind off of the tense talk we just had. I could hear Otou-san cough loudly on the other side of the door to clear his throat. And if that wasn't enough to announce his presence, Otou-san called through the door to with a booming voice. I swear half of headquarters could hear him.

"Shizu-chan, I'm coming in." Because he wasn't going to make the mistake of walking in on something not meant for his eyes again.

Otou-san slid the door open and seemed immediately relieved that I was dressed and composed now. And while he had originally left with Souji, he returned alone. He undoubtedly sent Souji to bed after their chat. It was pretty late.

"Ah, Toshi, thank you for keeping Shizu-chan company for a while. Why don't you head to bed for the night? We do have plenty to do tomorrow." Otou-san suggested, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes. His way of say that he wanted to speak to me alone.

Hijikata-san stretched his arms above his head, popping his joints as he climbed onto his feet to leave. "Alright, Kondou-san. I assumed you spoke to Souji about… all of this?" he asked as drew a circle in the air with his finger.

"Yeah, you won't have to worry about Souji and Shizu-chan relationship. Thanks for looking out for them in place of Tsune."

"There's no need to say thanks, Kondou-san! I'm just doing my job," Hijikata-san proclaimed, pausing right outside my bedroom. He gave me a stern look after nodding a silent goodnight to Otou-san. "You better go to sleep after this, got it?"

"Goodnight, Hijikata-san," I replied pointedly, gesturing to him with my hand to close the door and leave.

Hijikata-san seemed satisfied with my answer and closed the door, leaving me alone with Otou-san.

As soon as I was sure Hijikata-san was out of earshot, I bubbly stated, "I don't need a haha-ue if I have Hijikata-san. He's like this weird hybrid between a haha-ue and an ani."

Otou-san chortled at my statement, thoroughly amused before dropping his butt onto the futon next to me as he wrapped me in a one-armed hug. "He is, isn't he?"

Otou-san let his chuckle die down first before pecking me on my forehead. The corners of his lips were curled up as his eyes carried fond, nostalgia-filled memories within them. He was looking at me but it was also like he was looking through me, like I was transparent. I was his photo album of old memories.

"I still can't get over how fast you've grown up," he said with a strange mix of happiness and sadness. "You'd think I get used to it by now, but I still find myself being surprised that you're a grown woman now. Time and time again, I find myself repeating myself over again only to find it hasn't really sunk in yet."

"I may be older now, but I'm still your little girl," I said almost like that was a consolation prize as I grabbed onto his hand like I once did when I was a child.

Otou-san's small smile grew at my actions and he squeezed my hand playfully while poking my side, causing me to jump with a mouse-like squeak.

"Well, that aside," Otou-san said, growing serious without discarding his smile, "I'm sure you know I won't stop you and Souji if you two want to be physically intimate."

Probably because he approved of the match. He was likely already expecting certain future events like grandchildren.

"But I do also believe Toshi also has a point. I won't tell you what to do because this is not my choice to make and I trust your judgment. However, I do strongly believe somethings are saved for after marriage. Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded obediently.

Otou-san hummed in approval before giving me another light kiss on the forehead. "Now, as I told Toshi and Souji, it's late and it's best we all head to bed for tonight since tomorrow will be another busy day," he said just as he stood up and walked to the door. "Sleep well, Shizu-chan."

"Sweet dreams about grandchildren," I teased him, eliciting a boisterous laugh that echoed down the hallway long after he vanished for the night.

The following morning, true to Hijikata-san's words, everyone was gathered in the main hall directly after morning training. However, I do question Hijikata-san's logic to gather everyone into one room while they were still all sweaty and gross. The whole room smelled like old gym socks. I was determined to wash the floors and open all the windows after this meeting.

Like usual, I sat in my own little personal corner in the back of the room. At least, my small corner was comfortable with a little cushion to sit on. But most importantly, my little personal corner that I occupied didn't smell as heavily of sweaty guys. Thank heavens that it didn't. Ah, the problems of being the only girl, not including Yagi-san's wife, living in an all-male household.

"Everyone listen to this!" Otou-san exclaimed, vibrating in his seat with a massive grin that matched the ones on Hijikata-san and Sannan-san's faces. The men whispered amongst themselves, making guesses about what the announcement was about whilst infected by Otou-san's positive energy. "We have been granted an audience with the Lieutenant General of Aizu tomorrow. All of the Roshigumi will visit the Kyoto Military Commissioner's headquarters."

There wasn't even a moment of silence as the men exploded into deafening chatter. It was like throwing a flock of talkative parrots all into one room. Some men had even jumped to their feet to cheer in their exuberance.

"Awesome!" I heard Heisuke exclaim among the noise. "That means they've finally acknowledged how cool we are!"

"What should I do?" Shinpachi-san joined in with Heisuke, putting his hands together in glee from being unable to sit still. "Y'know, I don't have a thing to wear!"

"Settle down!" Hijikata-san barked at the rowdy men, but it was clear that Hijikata-san wasn't putting his heart into his scolding. He was just as excited as everyone else. "He's not done talking!"

"So here's the deal," Otou-san continued when Hijikata-san gave him the go-ahead, "since we will be in the presence of the Aizu domain's lieutenant general, I would like to hold some matches for him to watch!"

Sano-san sat a little straighter at that announcement. "Some matches to watch? You mean we get to fight in front of a lord?"

Hijikata-san puffed himself up with pride. "Yeah!" he replied, his voice alive confidence. "It would be a waste if we just went to meet him and ended at that."

Serizawa let out a derisive snort. He had a snide kind of looking smirk on his face that was clearly filled with amusement as he propped his head up on the palm of his hand. Everyone's excitement in his eyes was childish.

"Why should we go through all that trouble?" Serizawa asked.

"Indeed!" Niimi agreed just to suck up to Serizawa even more. His smugness made me want to punch him for being so transparently annoying.

Hijikata-san didn't let the two naysayers bother him.

"Leave all the sweaty work to us," Hijikata-san replied to them. "This job isn't big enough to concern two chiefs over it."

Serizawa's smirk just grew at that response as if he were extremely pleased.

Hijikata-san then cleared his throat again to pull everyone's attention back to the front. "We've already decided who will face who. The first match will be between Heisuke and me."

Heisuke sprung up from his seat in surprise. "I-I'm fighting Hijikata-san…"

"And the second match will be between Shinpachi and Saito."

Both Shinpachi-san and Saito-san exchanged glances with Shinpachi-san proclaiming, "Saito, eh? This should make for a pretty interestin' match!" rather boisterously.

"The final match will be between Sannan-san and…," Hijikata-san paused for dramatic effect, "Souji, you!"

Souji's whole face preciously brightened up at the announcement before he grinned confidently to himself. He flickered his vivid lively eyes to me, silently asking, "Did you hear that?"

I beamed at him while silently clapping my hands as a gesture of excitement and congratulations for him. His ego immediately swelled at my gesture. Sano-san, who was sitting beside him and had seen this whole exchange, raise his eyebrow in amusement before grinning my way.

"The Aizu domain's assessment of us depends on the skills displayed in the matches, so please put your hearts into your practice!" Otou-san exclaimed, closing the meeting with that statement.

"Yes, sir!" everyone chorused together before getting up to congregate into one large mass of people to celebrate.

I took this time to get up and open all the windows in the room to let the stench of sweaty men clear out before I jumped in surprise when arms wrapped around my middle unexpectedly from behind.

"Why are you here opening windows instead of congratulating me?" he asked me, his voice springy and light with an edge of mischievousness. He managed to nip the tip of my ear playfully before I could turn around. "Well, since I'm here now, what are you going to give me as my congratulations present?"

"A bath," I answered bluntly. Souji snorted at my dull answer. "I'll go run a bath for you. In fact, I'll go prepare the bath for one large communal bath so all men can bath together at the same to effectively get rid of all the stench at once. What was Hijikata-san thinking having everyone gather in an enclosed room directly after practice? You all stink."

"Oh?" Souji said, arching an eyebrow at me as one of his hands sunk lower to pat my butt. "I thought you liked the scent of my sweat?"

"Your scent alone? Yes. When it's mixed in with everyone else's?" I shook my head, causing Souji to laugh at me. "I think I'll go mix some citrus juice into the water I'll be using to scrub the floors later just for good measure."

"Hey! We don't stink that much!" Heisuke exclaimed across the room, looking mighty offended while Shinpachi-san merely lifted his arm to sniff his armpit. "Shinpat-san! Say something!"

"Well, I could go for a hot bath instead of a quick sponge bath at the well. Shizuka-chan can call me whatever she wants as long as she prepares that hot bath."

Heisuke facepalmed at Shinpachi-san's response.

Saito-san, who watched the whole exchange in silence, inhaled deeply before quickly exhaling as he looked to me. "When will the baths be ready?" he asked before removing his scarf.

"Not you too, Hajime-kun!"

"Heisuke, it is improper for someone to not bathe when filthy. You must think of how your scent affects others in your presence as well."

"But still… you don't have to admit that we stink…"

I pecked Souji on the cheek before prying his hands away to head towards the communal bathing unit in the compound. Better start preparing the baths if I wanted time to scrub the floors later. There would be plenty buckets of water to haul, after all.


[1] The hymen is a membrane that surrounds or partially covers the external vaginal opening. It forms part of the vulva, or external genitalia, and is similar in structure to the vagina. The hymen does not seem to have a specific physiological function or purpose. In children, although a common appearance of the hymen is crescent-shaped, many shapes are possible. Normal variations of the hymen range from thin and stretchy to thick and somewhat rigid; or it may also be completely absent.

The hymen often, though not always, rips or tears the first time a female engages in penetrative intercourse, which may cause some temporary bleeding and slight discomfort. The hymen can also stretch or tear as a result of various other behaviors; for example, it may be lacerated by disease, injury, medical examination, masturbation or physical exercise. The hymen does not regenerate itself after it is torn, but may be surgically restored in a procedure called hymenorrhaphy. For these reasons, the state of the hymen is not a conclusive indicator of virginity, though it continues to be so considered by certain people, particularly those in relatively traditional cultures.

There isn't only one type of hymen; they come in many different shapes and forms. Additionally, although it is very rare, a girl may be born entirely without a hymen.

[2] Menkyo kaiden (免許皆伝), (めんきょかいでん) is a Japanese term meaning "license of total transmission." It is a license that is used by a school, koryū meaning that the student has learned everything and passed all aspects of his/her training within the koryū.

In the menkyo system of licenses, the menkyo kaiden is the highest level of license that exists under the menkyo system. Advancement of license is not determined by years spent learning, but how well one masters the discipline. However, the transition from menkyo to kaiden require usually at least thirty years' experience. A holder of menkyo kaiden is often, but not always, the de facto successor to the sōke of the koryū.