Hi,

This chapter starts revealing some of the hell that Natsuki went through as a child so you all know before you read.

I want to remind you that this isn't a happy past so if you don't like reading anything about abuse, I don't really recommend the end of this chapter or the entire next chapter.

This is not based of anything except what I thought to write so any similarity to any real events is purely coincidental.


I woke suddenly.

The house had shaken so violently I was scared it was going to fall off the cliff it was perched on.

I noticed the sky outside was a dark grey wall of clouds though the rain hadn't quite reached us yet.

I stared out at the dark mass, swirling and twisting towards us, carried by the wind.

We hadn't even finished breakfast before the clouds surrounded the house, rain finally falling.

It thundered down onto the roof, into the glass.

I had never seen rain like this.

It looked like you would be able take a full shower in it if you could stand in it without being blown away.

There wasn't too much we could do in the house so I asked about spending some time in the pool downstairs.

"That's a nice idea, swimming in a storm, you could almost make that into a movie".

I grimaced, as I knew she was thinking about some romantic story.

"It could be some drama about the Bermuda Triangle, all the people that go missing without a trace".

I watched her roll her eyes but before she could protest with her own idea, I ran off to change.

The bikini I'd worn was dry so I thought I'd stick to it rather thank risk some of the other more revealing pieces Shizuru had bought.

Shizuru took longer than I did as I had discovered she had an entire drawer dedicated to her swimwear collection and I knew she was rather indecisive when it came to outfits.

"Shizuru, no-one is going to see you, you can wear anything".

"I'll just be a moment".

I sighed as I grabbed two towels for us and wandered down, not sure how long a moment would be for her.

Switching on the lights, I gaped at the gym.

I thought she meant a machine or two and some weights or something.

I had just stepped into a fully equipped gym. There were all the more usual machines for a home, treadmill, cross trainer, rowing machine and cycling machine, but there was also a whole collection of different weight machines to work out different muscles that took up half the entire floor as it looked like it was the same size as the upper floor.

I was surprised I didn't have to pay a membership fee just to look at it.

It was better equipped than the local gym I'd done a few runs to.

I started when I felt a pair of arms snake round my waist.

"What took you so long?"

"This and that".

Shizuru rested her head on my left shoulder as we stood there for a moment.

"You like the gym?"

"I… It's HUGE. Members gyms aren't this well equipped!"

Shizuru laughed into my ear, tickling my neck with her breath, distracting me for a moment from what we were talking about.

I coughed and detangled myself from Shizuru's arms before asking her to lead the way to the pool.

As she did, I couldn't help but admire her figure in the rather revealing sparkly crimson bikini she had chosen.

I made sure to look away before I started blushing in case I got caught, though it was no small feat, tearing my gaze away from the way her hips swayed as she walked.

Shizuru led me round a large wooden dividing wall, comprised of layers of carved wood panels, each different and overlaying in such a way that they became one solid wall of interlocking patterns.

On the other side was a pool that looked like it belonged to a luxury hotel.

Part of it was divided into a small hot tub, a sauna sat beside it at the far end and the large, irregular pool was tiled in what looked like the same slate as the building façade.

The water went right up to the glass cut into the rock so you could swim right up to the glass and look down the cliff while still in the water.

I felt Shizuru gently place her forefinger under my chin in an attempt to close my mouth which I hadn't even realised was hanging open.

I shook my head, pulling away as I gave her a look of mock annoyance.

"You should probably keep your mouth closed, I don't think you've quite developed the ability to breath underwater".

My look morphed into a playful glare as I noticed where Shizuru was standing.

She was near the deep end looking out at the storm as an idea crossed my mind.

I wandered up, placing the towels onto one of the sun loungers scattered across the near poolside.

"You never know, what if I told you I was a mermaid in human form?"

"I wouldn't believe you after seeing you swim".

"I am not that bad a swimmer".

I was only a few inches from her as I tried to gain the upper hand on Shizuru by closing the distance between us.

I glanced up into her eyes and I felt her breath hitch.

I smiled as I leant in a bit, waiting for her to respond.

The moment I saw her move, my hands snaked onto her waist, then up her sides until they were resting on her ribs.

I loved the blush I had caused her but my smile turned into a smirk for a split moment before I pushed.

Shizuru yelped as she tried to regain her balance.

She failed and hit the water, looking ungraceful for the first time I'd ever seen as she came up, spluttering.

She glared at me but she couldn't hide the smile in her eyes.

I knew if I couldn't read her eyes though, I would have been terrified of the mask she had created.

"Natsuki, that was NOT funny!"

I lost it then as the smile in her eyes contradicted everything about her body language.

I was laughing so hard, I didn't even realised she'd climbed out until I felt myself being lifted into her arms.

"Shizuru…?"

I trailed off when I saw the look in her eyes. It was beautiful and also a little scary seeing her look so mischievous.

She reached the poolside and I felt her swing me back in her arms.

I knew what she was going to do so as soon as she flung me over the water, I grabbed her outstretched wrist, pulling her in with me.

We both landed in a splash of bubbles, both coughing out water we had inhaled as we laughed.

"I'm not one to give in easily Zuru, you should know that".

Shizuru laughed.

"I guess I know that all too well now".

I joined her as we continued to paddle around until we tired before moving into the bubbling hot tub until were both worthy of prune status.

We rinsed ourselves before drying off as thoroughly as we could so we didn't track water through the house.

Once we felt like we were dry enough, we started to make our way back through the gym when a loud crack of thunder resonated through the house.

The lights flicked for a moment before blacking out entirely.

I froze.

The darkness was absolute.

There was no light.

I was back there.

"Looks like the power's gone".

I started shaking.

I remembered the fear.

He'd come.

I knew he would.

It was always him.

He put me in the dark and was always the one who took me out.

I remembered that room.

The tiny dark space.

It was only big enough to stand or sit with my knees up against my chest when I got tired.

I spent so much time there.

I had to sleep there most nights and passed many days there too.

No light ever got in.

He chose when I came out.

I was his plaything.

He'd take me out, have his fun then throw me out of sight again.

I ran off whenever I could.

Whenever he didn't put me there.

I hated it.

But he'd get madder the longer I stayed away so I always came back.

I didn't want him to hurt me again.

But he always did, before locking me back in the dark space.

Tremors racked my body, I couldn't control it.

The same fear was consuming me.

I couldn't see anything.

I stood still, there was never space to move then.

I couldn't see anything.

I didn't know how much space I had.

I was feeling lightheaded but I couldn't slow my breathing.

Panic was setting in.

I felt a hand lace through mine.

I flinched away.

"Natsuki, it's okay. It's just me. I'm here".

I recognised the voice, but it wasn't right.

It shouldn't be here.

It shouldn't be in the dark with me.

I was always alone in the dark.

The hand found mine again as I fought to remember that that was in the past.

I stepped towards the warmth I sensed in the dark.

I buried my face into the soft shoulder as I felt her gently stroke my hair, trying to calm me down.

I couldn't stop shaking.

I squeezed my eyes shut against her shoulder, creating my own darkness so I couldn't see the one that surrounded me.

I hated it.

The darkness.

The fear.

I felt safe for a moment in her arms.

The dark clouds blacked out the sky.

No light from the moon or stars reached us.

We were too far out to see any streetlights.

I felt Shizuru gently pull away as I kept my eyes tightly shut.

My grip on her tightened.

"Easy Natsuki, lets go upstairs".

I relaxed my hand on her shoulder only to move my hand to join the one already gripping hers.

She slowly started walking, pulling me along, guiding me through the dark.

It didn't help that I still didn't know the house well enough.

I put all my trust in Shizuru, knowing she could lead me safely.

I felt my foot connect with the first rise of the stairs as Shizuru slowly led me up, taking one step at a time.

I was shaking so violently, I was surprised my legs could even move so I was grateful for her support.

It seemed to take forever as I fought the paralyzing fear that the same door would open and I'd see him again.

That this had all been a dream to escape the darkness and now I had to wake up.

I kept listening for him.

Waiting for the door to open, when I'd be forced back into that life of pain and fear.

I heard a door open and instantly pulled back.

I collapsed into a small ball, pressing my eyes into my knees.

I didn't want to see him.

I didn't want this to be a dream.

I didn't want to loose Shizuru.

I felt an arm reach around me as I flinched back.

"Natsuki, it's alright. You're safe".

I let her near me then as she wrapped her arm around my shoulders, gently rubbing my back to calm me down again.

She pulled me up as I quickly opened my eyes for a moment.

It was still dark.

He wasn't there.

I clenched them shut again as I clung to Shizuru who guided me to the bed.

She guided me down, not bothered about the damp swimwear we both still had on.

I felt her pulling away and gripped her arm with everything I had.

"Easy Natsuki. I'm going to go get some candles".

Fear coursed through me.

She was going to leave me in the dark.

I sobbed, unable to find the words to make her stay.

I couldn't fight through the fear, it held my voice at bay.

It always did that so he wouldn't hear how he hurt me.

But now I wanted to talk, I wanted to tell her not to go, and I couldn't.

I shook more violently than ever as I waited for her to disappear into the dark.

Waited for her to shatter the illusion I was sure all this was.

But she didn't.
She lay down beside me, wrapping her arms around me as she gently held me against her.

I buried my face into her shoulder again, not willing to let her go in case this was all a dream.

I slipped in and out of sleep though both brought only darkness.

I dreamt of those nights.

The fear and pain, the torture of knowing I couldn't escape.

Waking every time to the sound of my own screams, waking when I started sobbing.

I'd still be begging him to stop, to leave me alone as Shizuru tried to calm me down, never fully sure which world was real.

She held me tightly, stroking my hair as she did what she could to comfort me, remind me what was real and what I'd dreamt.

Every time I calmed down, I'd find myself angry that he still had this much of a hold of me, that his hold was still this strong after so long.

I stopped sleeping after a while, too scared to risk the dreams turning out to be the reality.

By morning, I was exhausted, still trembling in Shizuru's arms as she continued to gently stroke my hair.

The pale grey light that filtered in was enough for me to see that I wasn't there.

I was awake and I was here with the one person I loved and trusted with everything.

I wasn't with him anymore.

I was free from him, but I was not free from the memories he had burned into me.

I slipped in and out of a light doze through the day, still too scared to sleep.

Shizuru only left me once, to use the bathroom and to quickly grab a load of candles and a lighter in case the power wasn't on tonight as well.

She had also brought in two bowls of the leftovers from last night but I couldn't stomach the thought of food.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on forever as I dreaded the night, when I knew darkness would fall again.

But when it came, Shizuru lit some of the candles for me to make sure the room wasn't dark again.

I tried to sleep but was plagued by nightmares, constantly waking up, trembling, crying or screaming. I was always drenched in my own sweat as I felt the fear course through me, even after I'd left the dreams behind.

Shizuru was there though, she never left me as she gently placed a cool, damp cloth against my forehead whenever I woke.

Four days passed and the storm with them.

I was grateful for the sunlight that came streaming through the window that first morning.

I hoped I might be able to get some proper sleep now that I wouldn't have to worry about the dark.

The power had come back on the next day but I still wasn't able to sleep properly.

I thought I was still getting over the near breakdown I'd had in the dark that first night but something felt off to me.

It was more than that.

I was still having the nightmares.

The rest of the week was hell.

I was exhausted but too scared to sleep, because every time I did, the nightmares returned.

Shizuru was doing everything she could, but the lack of sleep was affecting her more than me.

She couldn't take away the fear from that time.

The fear that had haunted me my entire life.

I was annoyed.

I hadn't had so many nightmares since I'd spent about a year at the orphanage.

I'd had them because the fear was still very real, but why now?

The next week didn't fare much better to start so one night, once Shizuru had finally fallen asleep, I crept out to look over the cliff from the top of the stairs to the beach I hadn't been able to enjoy since the storm.

I wanted to give her a chance to rest properly which I knew wouldn't happen if I let myself fall asleep too.

I stared up at the moon, grateful for its light before I stared down at the beach, at the seemingly endless expanse of water that held a singly bolt of light from the moon, connecting it to the shore.

The water was still, untroubled.
I wished I could be like the ocean tonight.

I wanted a night of peace, the chance to be still, without worry.

I thought about how much time had passed since then.

Thinking about how much had happened since.

Then I felt my blood run cold.

A terror filled me like I hadn't experienced since then.

"Natsuki?"

I jumped, startled into standing in my tense state.

I looked at her for a moment before turning away, unable to hold her gaze.

"What's wrong?"

She came up beside me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, tilting her head slightly to try and get a better look at me.

Her face filled with concern as she saw the fear in mine.

I just shook my head.

I didn't want to say it.

Didn't want to make it real.

He'd be out soon.

He'd be free.

I knew it and the fear was returning.