Chapter 28 – The First Date
Selena's POV
Jacob answered the door even before I knocked. "I still think I should have picked you up." He announced, feeling slightly emasculated by breaking the common stereotype. He looked delicious in his grey button-down shirt and tight-fitted jeans, yummy.
If he only knew who I really was he would view this very differently. I thought as I smiled. "Now where would be the fun in that?" I asked him cheekily. If he knew who I was he wouldn't be on this date. I mean, this not date, getting together of friends, thing that we are doing.
Jacob stepped out, closing the door behind him. "Because that way I could actually feel like I was the man here." He commented, leading the way around back.
"Does it help you feel more like the man if you think that since you are driving, no matter where we meet up, you will still technically be picking me up." I gave him some half-asked logic to make him feel more manly as my mind drifted off.
I have always been a guy, but now I'm not sure what I am. I don't see a real reason to choose what gender I identify as because no matter how I act or dress, I am still me. My body changes, that is a part of being me, so why does it make a difference either way. I don't think I really care that much about someone's body, not that a body cannot be super sexy and eye catching, but gender has never really been a big deal for me.
I am only fourteen so I'd barely had a chance to question myself before this happened but now that I have begun to question myself I find I'm not exactly straight or bi, just non-discriminatory. Some people are attractive and others are not, it's not a big deal whether they are male or female, and it has nothing to do with what gender I physically am at the moment.
I had never really checked out guys before but I am fourteen, I had barely checked out girls either. But now I think about it, I have been just as appreciative of guys as I have been of girls, I just never had reason to notice before. Whenever I jerked off I had barely ever thought about a person, or anything in particular. I was just experimenting with how good it felt. But now that I have started thinking about guys and girls while getting off I realise, not only is it a thousand times more amazing, but also that I'm really not picky. Of course thinking of Jacob is the best ever. I don't know why he turns me on so much, but I like it.
Problem is, of course, that Jacob has shown no interest in my male form and I haven't gotten to fooling around in my female form yet, it all feels so weird. I wonder if I will ever want to do anything as sexual a girl, alone or with someone else. Does that mean I really am a guy? Or just that it takes time to adjust? Am I a guy? A girl? Or something in between? This has been bugging me a lot lately because I honestly don't know. Maybe I am neither. Maybe I am nothing. How am I supposed to tell what gender I am? Most people don't have this problem, but most people aren't shape-shifting, gender-bending, freaks like me.
"You ever going to wake up over there?" Jacob's voice pulled me from my thoughts and I looked over to see him staring at me from the driver's seat. The car was stationary.
"Yeah, sorry," I mumbled to clear my head. "Just really deep in thought I guess. Are you going to drive us to the theatre now?" I asked, attempting to draw attention away from my mental rambling.
"Where already here." Jacob told me and I looked out the window to see that he was right. "You didn't say a word the entire drive, are you okay?" He asked me concerned.
"Fine." I leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek and shut him up to end the conversation. "Come on, we don't want to miss the movie." And with that, I climbed out of the car.
I was looking at the posters of what movies were on when Jacob approached. "You might prefer the ones down this way a bit more." He suggested, gesturing towards where they had the chick flicks.
He's seriously going to watch some horrendously boring movie that will probably make him fall asleep just to impress me? I thought as I turned to look at him. Not that all of those movies are bad, but none of them are the kind of thing Jacob would ever watch. "Or," I countered. "We could watch blood diamond." I suggested.
He looked at my choice and then back to me in shock and then admiration. "Or we could do that." He happily agreed and his smile was just so cute I simply had to return it.
"So what did you think of the movie?" Jacob asked as we sat down for dinner. The place was more like a diner than a restaurant and I was glad Jacob hadn't picked some place fancy, this was more cosy.
"It was okay." I shrugged and continued to eat. "There were some impressive action scenes but the drama didn't feel as though it fit with the rest of the movie and brought it down a little."
"Action is fun." Jacob protested and I just had to chuckle at how cute he was.
I swallowed before continuing my argument. "Yeah, but a movie needs more than just action. The action scenes were the only good part as the drama was just tacky and badly done." He looked like he wanted to continue the debate but just smiled and let out a small laugh.
"Why do I even bother trying to argue with you?" He asked himself happily. "Women." He rolled his eyes and we proceeded to eat in a comfortable silence. The fact that I wasn't actually a woman by birth made me feel bad for lying to him again but I pushed it aside and just enjoyed my time with my best friend.
We had gone on a walk after dinner, we talked a lot, about nothing and everything, I swear Jacob can make talking about the weather sound sexy. I remember when he put his arm around me to shield me from the cold that did not bother either of us. I had rested my head on his shoulder and we had walked in silence for a short time. I remember how right it felt to be with him and how much it pained me when we let go.
We reached his house and walked very slowly from the garage to the front door. "I wish this night didn't have to end." I admitted, knowing I would probably never be with Jacob like that again. We had fun and he was interested in me, but this night cannot be repeated.
"Me either." Jake agreed, smiling at me. "Will I ever see you again?" He asked and I didn't know what to say.
We couldn't keep doing this but I so didn't want to disappoint him. "Maybe." I told him unconvincingly.
The next thing I knew Jacob's lips were on mine. I froze in surprise before melting into the kiss. His lips moved with mine and my hands found his chest. I placed my hands on his chest, savouring the feeling of his firm toned body before moving them to wrap around, interlocking at the back of his neck. I pulled his face closer to mine and his tongue brushed my bottom lip, seeking entrance which I eagerly allowed.
His tongue was heaven as it tangled with mine in my mouth. God I want him. I thought as his hand burned a trail to my lower back; Everywhere that Jacob touched seemed to be on fire even after his skin left.
When we finally parted we where both breathing heavily and blushing furiously. "I had to make that worth it in case I never see you again." He mumbled at me almost dreamily.
"Oh you will see me again." I almost moaned at him, oh god I can still taste him and my lips and entire jaw are tingling.
We said our goodbyes and I left to sneak off home, Mum and Leah knew I would be out but I didn't want the pack to find me as Selena. I climbed in my bedroom window in a daze and lay down on my bed with an enormous grin plastered across my face.
And that was when I realised I had I had promised to see Jacob again as Selena. How do I keep getting myself into these things?
Authors Note: I have never seen 'Blood Diamond' I simply looked up movies that came out around that time and read the basic advertisement about it. Is seemed like a cheesy action movie so I put it in the story, apologies if my less than kind description of it upset anyone, I never saw it, I just needed the name. No copywrite intended.
This chapter is dedicated to someone who may never get around to actually reading it but, you know who you are. Thanks for helping me with the ideas for this chapter.
The betrayer hunter - I'm glad you like it, hope you enjoyed the first date.
tlc125 - The way I see it, Seth was always very feminine, but now he is a girl it is so much more noticable, he also accepts his feminine side a lot more now that it is acceptable to do so. And Leah is both a sweetheart and a badass.
lovingbites - If you like shit hitting the fan, you will LOVE this story. Shit hits the fan and all hell breaks loose. And then they all live happily ever after and have lots of sex.
~SophieAngel69
