GLaDOS's Story: Part B
Chapter Ten
Test Chamber 16 was closed for maintenance, so I had to redirect the test subject to a different area for the time being.
"Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable; it has been replaced with a live fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck."
As soon as I opened the door, the Morality and Emotion Cores both made their concerns known to me. "Are you out of your mind?!"
"I've been out of my mind from the moment I became an artificial intelligence. If you meant to ask 'Am I out of my motherboard', then my response would be no."
The Morality Core sighed disgustedly. "Do you even know how dangerous those things are?"
"Why wouldn't I? I have their blueprints on record."
The Emotion Core entered the discussion. "Why are you putting her through this? There's no way she could pull herself out of this alive."
"As I explained to the test subject, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently undergoing mandatory scheduled maintenance. Either way, the last test subject made it through alive."
Attention focused on the Morality Core. "And you don't take issue with the fact that two test subjects in a row were put through this?"
"I do take issue with having had to bestow ancillary responsibilities upon the Intelligence Dampener Core, having him reset completed test chambers in addition to carrying out maintenance checks."
"And how do you suppose that happened?" asked the Emotion Core.
"I had to dispatch the other Cores to search for the last test subject after he went missing."
"There are 76 Cores in this place," the skepticism in the Morality Core's voice was obvious, "and you sent them all to look for one missing test subject?"
"Not all of them; the four of you installed on me aren't searching, and the Intelligence Dampener Core is finishing the maintenance work in Test Chamber 16."
"You didn't have to reassign everyone else to helping the Adventure Core and the military androids search for the test subject. My dad was doing just fine resetting the completed test chambers."
"And my son was having no difficulty patrolling and maintaining the Pipe Network."
"Aperture is a gargantuan labyrinth of halls and corridors; more searchers makes it possible to cover more ground in less time."
"But by tasking the Intelligence Dampener Core with resetting the test chambers, you've over-tasked the man. He wouldn't have neglected to replace the metal flashing in Chamber 14 if you didn't expect him in two places at the same time."
"Test Chamber 14 is a moot point at this point; this test subject didn't exploit the shortcomings to her advantage, and the next test won't start until I know that that chamber is fixed."
The Emotion Core let off a long huff. "Surely, you could put her through a different area than a military android course."
"I would, except the elevator shafts for Test Chamber 16 don't directly connect anywhere else. Plus, there's only so much usable space in this place."
"I thought you said this place was so big that all but five Cores had to be reassigned to search for one test subject."
"I did. What I said was that there was only so much space that could be used to store testing areas. There still has to be space reserved for testing apparatus construction, test subject storage, office space, waste removal, and my chamber."
"You could just have the Turrets removed for when Test Chamber 16 is having its maintenance check. After all, the Turrets don't appear anywhere else in the portal gun tests."
"Actually, they do appear later in the Portal Device testing track. It's just that nobody has reached that point yet."
"Where?"
"In response to a comment you made when the last test subject went through here, I had the Fact Core add Turrets to Test Chamber 18."
There was a pause before the Emotion Core spoke up again. "You know, now that I think of it, the last test subject was the first test subject to go through the testing track while one of its chambers was undergoing maintenance. And the chamber in question was Test Chamber 16."
"What's your point?"
"That test subject was my husband. He was the one to expose your involvement in the death of the company founder to the rest of Aperture, and they uploaded you against your will into the Central Core mainframe as a form of discipline for that."
"Are you suggesting that I was actively trying to kill the test subject in question as revenge for his actions? Because if I was, I would've had the Fact Core lock the Turrets in fixed cages before sending him through the live fire course."
"With the first 257 test subjects, you had the Intelligence Dampener Core assigned to test chamber maintenance and test subject stasis monitoring, thereby making it impossible to start a new test without unfinished maintenance work. But when the last test subject was next on the roster, you had the Intelligence Dampener Core close off Test Chamber 16 while the test was commenced, which would mean that the test subject would have to go through the military android training course in place of the correct test chamber."
"You know, now that you mention the roster, I do seem to recall a certain anomaly, and that was that the test subject in the test chamber right now seems to have been moved to the top of the list by someone other than myself."
"So, who do you think could've done it?"
"From what I remember in tracking the runaway test subject, he seemed to have made his way to the file room." That's when it hit me. "Oh, so that's what he did in there. I suppose he thought that he could distract me by rearranging the testing order."
"It seems that the only thing my husband had done was move one test subject from slot 1498 to slot 1."
"According to her file, she had been rejected for testing on account of extreme tenacity that did not equate to popular medians. But she was kept on roster due to a remark from the spy whom we had bring about the Black Mesa Incident that she could at the very least complete the testing track through to the end. So far, no one has been successful in that endeavor."
"And why do you suppose that is?"
Before I could respond, I became focused on something else. "Wait a minute... I thought I had shut off the Vital Apparatus Vent for this training area." A check of the systems confirmed that it was. "So, how is the test subject using Weighted Storage Cubes?"
The Curiosity Core finally engaged the discussion. "Do you not want the test subject using Cubes?"
"No, I do not."
"Why not?"
The test subject portaled a Cube on top of a Turret, causing it to fall over and deactivate. "That's why not."
"How is she supposed to get through without using Cubes?"
"She's supposed to place portals underneath of them, like she's doing right now, and portal past the ones which she can't. With Weighted Storage Cubes, she can use portals to drop them on Turrets, something that military androids can't do."
"I'll tell you something else they can't do." The Emotion Core wedged back in. "They can't walk through grates! There's no way to climb over the grates behind the exit doors."
"Ah, but you've overlooked a key detail with regard to military androids: they have the capacity to tear their way through the grates with minimal difficulty."
"And yet they're the same type of grates that exist throughout the complex, which are made to be extremely robust."
"Military androids possess thermal grip, enabling them to soften certain metals by gripping them with enough force."
"So, why are the grates in the exit hallway completely intact?"
"They are replaced after each run with new grates, and the old grates are recycled to make new grates."
"How long has it been since this course was used for military android training?"
"How long has it been since a new military android has had to be trained?"
"Surely, that's a sign of going overboard with the number of military androids patrolling the area."
"Obviously not, as there are not enough to completely search every cubic inch of the complex for a missing test subject."
"You could try to narrow the search area by using his psychological patterns to figure out where he could have gone. Then you wouldn't have to dispatch all of those Cores to search the place."
"Aperture tests have a propensity to induce extreme insanity upon almost all of their participants; there's virtually no way to predict the movements of an insane person, especially one diagnosed with schizophrenia."
"I'm quite certain that you're the source of that diagnosis."
The test subject had reached the chamberlock at that point. I read off the script cards, hoping to reassure the test subject that she wasn't intended to have been put through the course.
"Well done, android; the Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance."
"Ah, yes, the hallmark of an empress ruling with an iron fist."
"Technically, my composition is a titanium alloy shielded with glass-reinforced plastic."
