"I should just give up. There's no way I can do that. Not a chance. I'll just sit back and let thousands of animals suffer silently as the world continues to spin as if nothing's happening. Because what's the point? It's hopeless."
"Sarah...that's not what I'm saying."
"Actually, Robert," Karen piped. "That's kinda exactly what you're saying."
Both Sarah and Jareth turned to her.
"Just because it's hard doesn't mean she shouldn't even try," she continued. "If she doesn't get enough, so be it. But if nothing else, she's drawing a lot of attention and awareness to a major issue she's obviously passionate about. If everyone gave up because it was hard, Robert, what would get done?"
They sat in silence for a minute, when Sarah's father took the paper, added his name, and placed it in his suitcase. "I'll take it with me. Now, please, Sarah, I'm still very busy with work even though I'm home now."
She would've been gone sooner if you would've just did what she asked!
Sarah walked back up the stairs and Jareth was careful to keep himself balanced as Fran followed them. Falling down the stairs wouldn't make his wing any better. Then again, we've already got one clue, so perhaps soon I could just repair the injury with magic.
Sarah set him on the dresser and turned to Fran. "Wanna work on the clues?"
"I know it's important, but all they do is frustrate me. I do know how to solve our…" She paused and looked at Jareth. "Other issue, though. Here's what I'm thinking: We kidnap him."
"Fran, we-"
"Hear me out."
Who are they kidnapping? And why did she look at me like that?
"We get a large trench coat. You get on my shoulders, and cover me up. Then, with you wearing a fake mustache, we sneak backstage after the show, come up behind him, and you lightly knock him out with my crowbar, but don't mess up his hair. We drag him somewhere safe and where no one else is around, then I get his autograph!...Oh, and we get the advice, too. That's an important step."
"Fran, I can think of about twenty reasons why that is both immoral, illegal, and impossible. Twenty reasons each. And wait, why would I need a fake mustache if we're sneaking around?"
"It's what kidnappers do!"
"...How would you know what...never mind. Turn on the radio for me and let's try to work on the other three clues for now. Music helps me think."
I still don't know who they're kidnapping! Why does no one tell me anything?
Music poured into the room and Sarah gave Jareth her attention. "Have any idea about this damsel in the second me yet?" He shook his head. "Okay, guess that's out for now."
"That was A-Ha's, 'Take on Me'." the radio announcer told them. "Up next, some Bon Jovi, but first, the moment you've been waiting for."
"What about the devil one?"
"No idea." Fran said. "Unless this is a curse from Satan, I see no connection."
"I have in my hands two tickets to David Bowie, plus, backstage passes! And they're going to whoever can get this trivia question right!"
"Jareth's no Saint, but he's certainly not the devilllllwhatdidhesay?!"
"If you know the answer, call us at 1-800-356-9001."
Fran and Sarah crowded around the small, portable radio. "I got this, Sar! Anything David Bowie related, I know."
"The question is: What other famous male singer does David Bowie shared a birthday with?"
"... Except that."
"Well, when's his birthday?"
"January 8th."
"How are we supposed to know this?!"
Why does it even matter? I thought you already had this taken… Everything clicked in his head and his body tensed. Whether or not I become myself again depends on a radio contest?! Sarah, you'd better figure this out or...something!
"Hang on, I have an idea!" She ran out of the room, quickly.
Hello?! Am I supposed to just sit here while my future goes on downstairs?! I have a feeling my owl self and a flight of stairs won't end well! Thankfully, Fran remembered him and grabbed him as well as the small radio, quickly going after Sarah. They found her in the kitchen with Karen.
"Why do you need to know this?" her stepmother asked.
"Karen, it's really important and you know everything!"
"I don't know ev-"
"Karen, please!"
"Alright, calm down. A famous male singer born on January 8th? That's vague." Suddenly, her eyes widened and she whacked her forehead. "Oh, duh! My favorite singer of all time! The King, Sarah!"
Actually, in this world, I believe my birthday would be somewhere in August.
"The King of Rock and Roll!" Karen said, seeing Sarah was totally lost. "Don't you know?"
"I need his actual name, not his nicknames."
"I can't believe you don't...well, it's Elvis. Elvis Presley."
"I love you, Karen! Where's the phone?!"
"Hanging up, but your father is using the other one in his office, so you'll have to wait."
"Karen, we don't have time!" And she ran out of her house. "C'mon, Fran, there's a payphone on Maple Street!"
"Maple Street?!" Fran repeated, rushing after her with Jareth bouncing in her arms. "Aw man, of course it'd be where Rhonda lives!"
They followed Sarah down the sidewalk, Jareth getting a bit shook up. What is it about this Rhonda person that bothers Sarah so much?
He was about to get his question answered because standing at the payphone was none other than Rhonda Livingston herself.
"And we've finally got a caller!"
"No!" Fran shouted. "Sarah, hurry!"
"Is it Steven Tyler?"
"No, I'm sorry, that's incorrect."
Thank goodness. Jareth thought. That was much too close.
Finally, they got to the payphone and could hear Rhonda screaming at someone. "Excuse me, Jason, but if you really loved me, you would've noticed the fact that I was wearing new heels! You never pay attention to me!"
Alright, now I'm starting to see where Sarah's coming from.
"Rhonda, I need the phone!" Sarah panted. "It's an emergency!"
"Pardon you, but I'm in the middle of a heated argument with my boyfriend, so you can wait!"
"Is it Madonna?"
"No, I'm sorry, we're looking for a male singer."
"Sarah, do something! Rhonda, you can call him back, this'll only take a minute!"
"I don't care, she can wait till I'm done!"
That's it. I'm doomed to be an owl forever, and it's because of stupid teenage drama.
Sarah glanced over her shoulder frantically as Rhonda went back to yelling her head off at Jason and Jareth saw her eyes lock with his for a second. Something in her face changed. It reminded him of the way she'd looked while running the Labyrinth.
Sarah turned around, yanked the phone from Rhonda, quickly said, "Just break up with her, she's a pain in the butt anyway," and hung up, dialing the number for the radio station.
"Excuse me?!" the red-headed teen shrieked, hands on her hips.
"You're not excused," Sarah snapped. "You nearly ruined someone's life over an argument on your shoes. In fact, you might be succeeded in ruining it. Which if that's the case, I suggest you run, because if this radio station doesn't pick up, I'm going to hit you with this phone right in your big, stupid mouth."
"Alright, you're our next lucky caller. What's your guess?"
"Elvis Presley."
"That's correct! You've won! The King of Rock and Roll and the Thin White Duke were both born on January 8th. Come down to the station any time before the concert and pick up your tickets." Sarah was taken off the air as the radio DJ got her information, and she finally hung up. "You're quarter ran out, just so you know."
"You just told my boyfriend to break up with me and you think I care about a quarter?! If he really does that, you're gonna get it!"
"Weren't you gonna break up with him?" Fran pointed out.
"That doesn't mean she…. Eww! How can you touch that filthy bird?!"
"He's not filthy!" Sarah shouted.
"That's right, Sarah just gave him a bath the other day!"
Rhonda's furious face contorted into a devious smirk. "Of course she did. You probably take very good care of the owl you oh-so-bravely rescued, huh Sarah?"
Fran, you need to learn a lesson in silence.
"Do you chew up worms for it and feed it, Sarah? And where does it sleep? Did you make it a widdle bed and tuck it in every night? Or does it sleep with you?"
Sarah's face was turning pink. "First of all, owls don't eat worms, they eat meat. Second, lay off. And third, that owl has more brains in his tail feathers than you do in your whole body, so there!"
"Awwww, such a good Mama Bird, sticking up for Baby Bird." What did that brat just call me?! "Then again, I think Mama Bird is better than Monkey Mommy."
"You're just jealous because Sarah and I were in the paper!"
"I'm not jealous of your stupid rescue mission! If you wanna babysit a freaked out monkey and a smelly bird, that's your issue! Now, move out of the way so I can get back to calling my boyfriend!"
Sarah flipped her hair, dramatically, in her teenage enemy's face and took Jareth from Fran. They walked silently for a while and Jareth could feel how tense Sarah was. She's even worse than Sarah, he thought, stretching his neck to glance back at Rhonda, who could be heard yelling at Jason again. Talk about a spoiled, bratty drama queen. I made the wrong girl run the Labyrinth. Then again, I really doubt I could take ballroom dancing with that. Chucking her in the Bog would be nice, though.
"She's such a pain." Sarah grumbled.
"Don't let her get to you, Sar," Fran said. "She's not worth the time of day. She's jealous, it's obvious."
"I hate her."
Frankly, I don't think she cares for you much either. And am I the only one feeling a little bad for Jason here?
"Hey, don't even worry. The point is you got the tickets! I'm one step close to getting an auto… I mean…Jareth is one step closer to being himself again."
"Yeah." Sarah smiled a bit and glanced down at him. "One clue down, three to go. I told you we'd figure this out."
"...You know...off topic, but...Lulu probably doesn't have any memories of ever being outside. She's too little. But every time I try to get her out of the house, she doesn't wanna do anything. It scares her too much."
"Isn't that part of her rehabilitation?"
"Yeah, so...I was thinking that maybe if he's up for it...we could have Jareth try to convince her? Just play outside with her? She seems to be a lot more open to new things when she sees him do them first."
Sarah looked down at him again. "What do you say?"
I'm a royal reduced to a monkey's uncle. But she really can't make it out in the world if she's scared of grass, now can she?
