Hey again :D starting to perk up a bit now, but this is only a really short one, so let me know what you think :D

Again, my biiig thanks go to those that read my story and my wonderful reviewers; Lizzi1990, Jenny129, hello-goodbye146, chloe'sfire, DelightfulSmiles, Adorkably Adorkable, supacrazyhazey, XXJAMESLILYXX, hushpuppy22, shroomy-eyes, Psychokillerhoney, Mistress Trinity, Opa12, The-Ruby-Butterfly, BubbleLove1234, mediwitch3, hptwilightlvr, hpdreamer500, M333gan, Cjas, JacobsImprintGirl, The DA is dressed to the nines, Chlowie14.


JAMES

Time passed, seasons changed, life continued on in it's rapid ever moving, every changing pace and I felt like I stood still while the world blurred on around me. I was going through the motions to keep everyone happy; Quidditch for my team mates, full moon adventures and pranks for my friends, studying for my teachers, everyone bought it, everyone left me alone. Except one. She lay next to me now, pressing our palms to measure the difference. We spent hours like this sometimes, just sitting or lying with each other in silence. They were the high light of my life, these moments of intimacy without sex, without words. It was her silence that wrapped me in a safe cocoon, her unspoken vow of support whenever I was in need of it.

I don't think I've ever loved anyone so much in my life.

"Christmas is soon," she said, breaking the silence for the first time in an hour.

Huh, was it that time already?

"Alice and Frank's wedding is going to be a week after Christmas, so it's going to be hectic, especially since we're still not able to go to Hogsmeade to buy presents. I'll have to order them something, and my Christmas presents, speaking of which, what do you want?"

"I don't need anything," I replied.

"That's not what I asked," she retorted.

I sighed. What did I want? To feel whole again? To see my mum? To have my dad wake up? I looked over at Lily and felt a frown crease my forehead. She was still as beautiful as ever, she was still mine, but was she happy? There was a gleam in her eyes now, of unshed tears that refused to go away. I wracked my brain, when was the last time I had heard her laugh? Seen her smile brightly?

The answer ate away at me; I knew she had been this way because of me, that I had unintentionally caused her this sadness and unease. What kind of a boyfriend was I? Dragging her to my mum's grave on weekends. Grave yards are for the living. I remember my mum telling me that once, I hadn't realised until now how true it was.

I couldn't stay like this forever, I had to pick myself up again, if not for me, then for Lily.

She deserved better than this.

"Let's go," I tell her, pulling her up with me.

"Do you wanna go visit your dad again?" she asks and I flinch.

"Just follow me ok?" I ask and I hold my hand out to her, a small peace offering.

She takes my hand without any hesitation. "Alright."

Before we head out, I go upstairs to get the invisibility cloak; it was probably about time I shared that secret with her.

"Are we planning on pretending to be super heroes?" she asks as I pull the cloak out.

I actually find myself smiling at her. Super heroes?

"Who would I be if I was a super hero Evans?"

Lily pondered this for a second. "Batman, and Sirius would be Robin,"

I wasn't exactly familiar with the muggle super hero thing but I was pretty sure I had heard these two being mocked.

"Why them?" I ask suspiciously, as we head down the stairs.

Lily quirks her lips up. "They were kinda gay, and you and Sirius have been a couple I've admired for years."

She starts to jog off and I stand there with my mouth open. "We're not gay!"

Her only reply is to giggle and with a grin I start to run after her, I catch her within seconds and she's actually laughing into my shoulder as I have her pinned against the wall.

"Gay super hero, that's the impression I've made this entire time? All these years?"

She smiles at me coyly. "You even have the outfit,"

I smirk. "It's not a cape, it's a cloak, like a magician."

She raises her eyebrows in interest. "Magician huh? You do know that using your Wizard tricks doesn't make you a Magician right?"

I smile broadly and move the cape from out of my pocket. "Now you see me," I tell her before wrapping the cloak around myself. "Now you don't."

"Oh wow," she breathed. "You really did just disappear!"

I smile to myself and move around her to pinch her butt then move out of her reach. "Nifty trick , surprised this is the first time you tried it, haven't you been harassing me for years?"

I move swiftly forward so we're both pressed tightly against the wall. "I may be a lot of things Evans, but I would never take advantage of you like that."

Lily pulled me closer. "You're such a softy."

I pulled the cloak off me and started to kiss up her neck. "Really?"

"James..." she murmured, "We're already breaking curfew and we're in the middle of the corridor, someone could see us."

I threw the cloak around us both. "Now they can't, told you I was magic."

She smiles at pecks me on the lips. "Weren't you planning on showing me something?"

"I'm trying to seduce you first, is it working?"

Lily grinned. "Yeah, but it's making me nervous..."

Uh oh, this can't be good. "Nervous?"

"Yes," she tells me somberly. "Sirius might try to fight me for you."

I roll my eyes but I'm smiling and my face feels strained from using muscles I haven't used in weeks. "Very funny, come on then, I didn't risk getting caught just so you could insult me."

Lily smiles and puts her hand in mine. "It would be worth it for me."

I squeezed her hand. I'm sure it would be.

*

"Wow," Lily gasped.

I smiled at her softly. "I know, welcome to the bad arse club."

"We actually just snuck into the kitchens, after curfew!"

I squeezed her shoulders. "I know, you're not going to pass out on me right? Or dob us in?"

Lily shook her head as a house elf approached us. "Hello sir, miss, would you like something to eat?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I was thinking of a date tonight, do you think you could set that up for us?"

Nodding vigorously, the little elf practically skipped away to the rest of the house elves who were now quickly rushing around making food with big smiles across their faces.

"Don't you ever feel bad about making them cook for you?" Lily asked as a particularly tall house elf came over with two chairs for us, while three of his friends brought a table.

I gestured to the elves around us. "Do they look like they're miserable?"

Lily watched as they hummed and smiled their way through making us a snack. They honestly looked like they couldn't be any happier.

"I guess not. Do you do this a lot?"

"Yeah me and Sirius sometimes..." I broke off with one look at Lily's face. "What?"

"You're taking me to the place you and Sirius have your dates?"

I sighed deeply. "You're being immature Miss Evans,"

She takes my hand and smiles. "I'm making you smile though right?"

She really was. The only person to do so in weeks. My Lily.

"I missed you," she told me quietly.

We had spent every day together since the funeral, but I knew what she meant. I had missed me too. I had missed her but most of all I had missed us.

"I know, I'm really sorry. I guess we learned that I don't deal with loss very well."

Soft, warm lips are pressed against my hand. "Who does? You don't need to apologise, really. You lost your mum and you didn't know what to do, at least you didn't nearly get yourself killed in a massive bitch fight."

I smile a little. "You were pretty bad arse that night."

Lily scoffed. "Just that night? Potter, I'm completely bad arse, even more than you, the only difference is I never get caught."

"Oh burn, is that right?"

"You know it," she grins as a house elf comes over with a plate of chocolate cake and mini pasties. "Oh thank you!"

"Your welcome miss, if miss or sir would like anything else, just ask!"

I gave the house elf my warmest smile and then cut Lily and myself a piece of cake.

"You're really great, you know that?"

She flicks her hair over her shoulder. "Well, when you look like this..."

She starts giggling and I smile at her.

"Did you want to visit your dad for Christmas?" she asks me softly.

I sigh deeply. My dad had still not woken up and was still in the same state without a chance of it changing anytime soon. Did I really want to spend my Christmas with a huge reminder of how alone I was, of how much had changed?

"I think I would rather just spend it with you," I reply. "My house is going to be empty so I'm going to spend Christmas here, the boys minus Pete and Remus are staying too so we can have our own Christmas, drama free. Only if you wanted to stay here though."

"I don't really have any other options and even if I did, I'd still be here. Oh and I was serious about presents before though, what do you want?" Lily answered, mouth half full.

I looked at Lily, my girlfriend and felt bit by bit the pain start to lessen. It was going to take ages to feel better again, but her being there, understanding really was the best present ever.

"Surprise me," I told her with a smile.

LILY

James lips were feverish on my own, passion and love pushing through. His hands ripped at my clothes roughly, pulling me close to him, our bodies needs driving us, it was need, acute to the point of pain. My hands unbuckled his jeans and for once they weren't shaking, I was confident, this was right and this was what we both wanted, both needed.

"I love you," I whispered into his chest.
"I love you too,"
I let him pull my shirt up over my head and I bit down hard on my lips as we slowly worked my bra off.
"Mmm....James..."

"Lily, come on, you're missing it,"

Wait, what?

I felt myself being nudged, poked, shaken and part of me knew it was just a dream; but I really didn't want to wake up.

"Lily! Get up!"

My stupid eye cocked open and I saw Carla poking me.

I shut my eye tightly and tried to ignore her. No, I'm not awake, I'm with James, I'm with James, come on, come on, come on...DAMNIT CARLA!

I threw the covers off and fixed Carla with a dark glare.

"Chill out Miss Grinch, it's Christmas, I couldn't let you sleep the whole day through,"

I pouted, but made a move to get out of my old dorm bed which I had slept in the night before so Carla, Alice and I could have some girl talk and pretty much everyone had gone home.

"I was having a good dream," I grumbled.

Carla grinned wickedly. "I know, that's why I had to wake you, you were grinding your hips and it was getting weird."

I blushed and stuck my tongue out at her as I tossed her, her present and Alice hers. I moved to my own pile; Carla had given me some emerald ear rings, Alice had gotten me a cute new dress and signed it from Frank too, clearly preparing for marriage. There was a big package of chocolates and other delicious sweets from Remus, a new book from Peter, a dating book from Violet and a pretty jewellery box filled to the brim with condoms from Sirius. I picked a handful of condoms up and tossed them at Carla and Alice.

"Here, you guys may need this,"

Alice smirked at me. "From the looks of your dream you were given them for a reason and wouldn't you rather have them and not need them, or need them and not have them?"

I grunted in frustration, it was impossible to argue with logic like that. "Thanks heaps for the presents guys,"

I said instead, pulling them both in for a big group hug, holding them tight and close. It was so sweet of everyone, to stay back this Christmas for me and James who had, had our families torn away from us. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to push back the nagging feeling of something missing. I was not going to let my stupid emotions ruin this beautiful day.

"What did James get you?" Alice asked as she showed off her new kitten Frank had gotten her that she'd been been begging anyone who would listen to get her one this year.

"We're exchanging presents tonight," I replied as I stroked the beautiful white kitten. "James is organising some sort of dinner in our common room for us and then we're exchanging gifts. What did Sirius get you Carla, condoms?"

Carla pulled a face at me. "No, not everyone is all about the sex like you Miss Evans."

I grinned at her. "Then what did he get you?"

Carla blushes and pulls out the most beautiful and extravagant rose I have ever seen. "He magicked it so that it will never die and if I pull a petal off it gives me a reason why he cares so deeply about me, whilst replacing the petal I picked off."

Alice and I stare at Carla dumb founded. God, Sirius must actually love her, I didn't even think it was possible for any guy outside of books and movies to be so considerate...well except maybe for James.

"Whoa, you managed to tame the wild Sirius," Alice says in a voice of awe.

Carla waves the statement away whilst blushing. "Don't be silly."

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

All three of us jump at the sudden noise and then look up to find Sirius in a Santa suit grinning at us, with James and Frank grinning behind him.

"Sirius, honestly!" Carla snapped.

Sirius strode through the room and pecked Carla on the lips. "Call me an idiot babe, I love it when you're annoyed."

It had the intended effect, Carla burst out laughing and hit him gently.

James moved across the room and sat behind me so I was sitting between his legs with his arms around my waist.

"Get a good load?" he asked.

I smiled up at him. "I was very spoilt, although Sirus's present didn't leave much to the imagination."

I nodded at the condom filled jewellery box.

James' mouth dropped. "I can't believe it!"

"I know!" I agreed.

"He actually gave you a jewellery box as well?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

James sighed. "Sirius gave me a pair of socks filled with condoms, at least you got something useful out if it too. He must like you better."

I pecked James on the lips, relishing in his nature returning to his normal self. "Lovers quarrel?"

He grins, playing along. "Oh right, I told him I was dedicating myself to only you now, maybe he's mad at that."

I nod, in mock seriousness. "Probably broke the poor guys heart."

"The things I do for you Evans, the things I do for you."

I smiled and settled myself deeper in his arms. "I better make sure I never let you go so it's worth it huh?"

James chuckled. "Evans, whether you want it or not, I'm yours for life now."

I grinned to myself feeling quite content. What a beautiful thought that was.

*

If anyone needed proof of perfection, it really was this day. We had had the most delicious breakfast with pancakes, waffles, toast, tarts, sausages and all the best break fast food you could imagine. Then we'd all gone outside and had some snow ball fights with the girls totally kicking the guys butts, proving that we are not to be under estimated.. Sirius had complained that we'd cheated because Carla may have been calling out suggestive things and I may have unzipped my jacket a bit but really, it was their fault for getting distracted, a win is still a win.

As a treat, Dumbledore had even allowed us to go to Hogsmeade with supervision of Professor McGonagall, so we'd had lunch there, browsed through the shops and then spent most of the afternoon laughing in the Three Broomsticks and watching James and Sirius score us free rounds by amusing Rosmerta.

It had actually been exactly what I needed to yank me out of my slump and I think the same went for James, all day we had both had huge grins across our faces, we may still have been broken, but we weren't ruined; broken you could at least fix.

"Well, best let you two love birds enjoy your night," Sirius grinned. "Remember safety first!"

Carla screamed in delight as he threw her over his shoulder and ran her away from us before we could retort. I sighed and looked at James.

"He means well right?"

James nodded with a small smile. "He does and believe it or not he's been pretty mild with us, thank god for Carla."

"Mild?" I asked incredulously as he headed down the stairs to the common room.

James laughed at my expression. "Just be thankful he isn't as bad as he could be."

I nod. Could I even imagine that?

My mouth drops as I walk into our common room, he's set up a beautiful, intimate dinner right by the fire with a little table and cushions. My favourite muggle foods and drinks are sitting on the table, looking mouth watering good.

"Oh wow James, how did you manage all this?"

"I'm a magician remember?" he replies as he helps me get comfortable, before sitting down himself.

I feel emotions overwhelm me and I figure I better get the presents out of the way now before I can't form any proper sentences from being too touched by the kindness he's put in.

"Do you mind if I give you my gift now?" I manage to ask.

James shrugs. "Go for it, you're not gonna punch me right since I asked you to surprise me?"

I giggle a bit. "Of course not idiot! Although I'm tempted to now."

James pretends to zip his lips and gestures for me to continue.

I pull a small gift bag out of my hand bag and pass it to him. "It's nothing too expensive or anything," I mutter. "And it's nothing big either...I didn't know what to get you..."

James silences me with a wave and pulls out what I got him. His face goes blank and I find myself, not for the first time either, feeling like a complete idiot.

"Lily..."

"I know, it's stupid.."

"No," he tells me firmly. "It's perfect."

He holds up the delicate silver chain I've bought him with a pretty silver key for the pendant, I pull out my own necklace that has a heart on it.

"Now you're the only one with the key to my heart," I tell him, blushing slightly.

"I love you," he replies and leans forward for a kiss.

Yes! I did good.

"Ok, now it's your turn, here," He digs around in his pocket and finally hands me a small, square box.

My heart starts to pound fast and hard, oh god, he isn't going to propose right? I'm not even seventeen yet!

"It doesn't bite," he says with a grin.

I force a smile and open the box, definitely not what I expected.

Inside is a beautiful silver heart shaped key ring, with three keys already attached to it. I look over at him for answers.

"Keys to my house," he replies simply. "I want you to come live with me, you're all I have left and all I need to keep going. You can have your own room if you wanted and I'd cook for you and you don't need to worry about paying rent or anything..."

Warmth slams into my body and tears try to force themselves out of my eyes.

"You're not going to cry right? Shit! Well, you don't have to move in, I just thought..."

I get up and move around the table to wrap my arms around his neck and plant a big kiss on his lips. "I love you," I tell him fiercely. "Of course I want to move in with you, you're my family now."

James' whole face lights up and he sits me on his lap, snuggling close to me. "Merry Christmas beautiful,"

I rest my head against his and for the first time in ages I feel a glimmer of something beautiful, of something that seems fleeting these days; I feel hope.