Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Criminal Minds.
"I tried so hard, and got so far,
But in the end it doesn't even matter.
I had to fall, to lose it all,
But in the end it doesn't even matter."
Linkin Park, In the End.
Every day, when Penelope Garcia got to work, the first thing she did was to open up her mailbox. Today wasn't different from any other day, despite the small drama of last night, so that was the first thing she did as well. Open up her mailbox.
She quickly deleted some ads that popped on her screen and marked some mails from her charity work to go through later, when she had more time, when she noticed a message from Carver Edlund.
Finally! She thought, knowing the new book was supposed to come any day now after what happened last night. What she didn't expect was that there would be two files attached.
Swan Song.
Swan Song – Unpublished.
"Hey, Garcia." Dr. Spencer Reid said as he walked inside. "What's going on?"
"Chuck just sent me his last book." She said. "There's an unpublished edition here."
"Do you want to read it?" He asked.
"I don't have time today." She sighed. "But I'll print it to you. Maybe it will help us take care of her, after…"
"Yeah." Spencer said. "I have some paperwork to do, but I would probably have time at lunch break."
"Sent to the printer." Penelope informed him. "I'll give it to you later today."
True to what he said, Spencer did have paperwork to do that day. He sat on it for a couple of hours before stopping for a coffee refill and noticing the stack of papers.
He looked at the clock, seeing it was already past noon, and decided a lunch break would be in order right about now. He looked at the first page, and started reading.
Three hundred and fifty three thousand people are born every day around the world. Every single one of them has a life. A family. Some are notable, and some not. But it all starts the same way.
Early on 1979, a girl was born. She was ordinary, as ordinary as you can get.
She had a mother and a father. She used to run and play with her twin brother. Shortly after she turned four, a baby brother was born. And two and a half months before her fifth birthday, her mother died.
That was the point where things started messing up.
Her childhood turned into nothing like you'd expect. She lived in roadside motels, took care of her younger brother along with her twin while her dad was ridding the world from the evil in it.
For a long time, she thought him to be a superhero. Then, she didn't.
Her father sent her to her uncle's house when she was twelve, after a nasty case involving a Demon – Lilith – and her heart broke. She barely saw her brothers anymore, she was fighting her way through high school, but she pulled herself out of the mud, left everything she knew and built herself a life. She managed as far as the FBI.
She had friends and started a family. She built herself from scratch, slowly dealing with the difficulties of her job while fearing for her brothers' sake. Now it was them who were ridding the world from evil, and so was she, in her small way.
While they hunted spirits and Rugarus, she put murderers behind bars. While they were in a hospital after a dangerous hunt, she was crushing at Bobby's and waiting for news. While they fought Demons and Angels alike, trying to stop the Apocalypse, she built herself a life, a family, and fell in love with her Guardian Angel while getting married to another man.
She created herself a family, but all the while, she couldn't help but think of the family she left behind.
And when the family she created died and her life started falling apart, she was sucked right back into the life she tried to leave behind.
The devil was the first step.
I looked at Lucifer, and he looked at me back. For a moment, all we did was look at each other, before I found the ability to talk.
I planned to tell a joke. Something about the devil coming to Georgia, and a golden fiddle. Instead, the only word that left my mouth had a worried feeling to it.
"Dean?" I asked.
"Alive." Lucifer replied.
"And Bobby?" I went on. "Cas?"
"All fine." Lucifer reassured me. "Consider it my peace offer to you and your brother."
"Peace offering?" I questioned. "You plan to roast half the planet."
"If you join me soon, it will be less than half." He said, smiling.
"I told you before and I will tell you again." I said. "I will never choose your side. Or any side, for that matter."
"And I told you before," Lucifer said, losing his patience, "you will have to choose eventually."
"I won't let you destroy the Earth." I said determinedly. "Either of you."
To my surprise, Lucifer smiled. "But you understand now that you will have to choose." He said thoughtfully. "At least it's a progress."
"You wish." I snarled.
"Unless…" Lucifer looked at me, starting to understand. "Unless you do plan to choose, only not us. Unless you plan to choose someone else, thinking we would both lose? Someone else, conveniently named… Castiel?"
"Go to hell."
"Been there, done that." Lucifer smiled. "But that's not the matter on hand. Give me one reason not to choose my side."
"Other than the fact that you're a maniac psychopath with terrible daddy issues?" I asked.
"Yes." Lucifer said, looking as if it was taking him everything not to kill me on the spot. "Other than that."
"You killed Nick." I told him.
"Just a guy you've met with fleetingly." Lucifer dismissed.
"You killed Gabe."
"And it hurt me terribly to do so." He said, and for the first time I could see he's being honest. "But it had to be done."
"That's the problem." I said. "You justify murder. There is no way to justify murder. It's brutal, and terrible, and no matter what you think, it cannot be justified. The only difference between you and the people I put behind bars is that it's slightly more difficult to gain access to your bars."
"And you think you can do it?" He questioned.
"I know I will." I said. "And I think that is just what scares you." I slowly took a step forwards, looking into his eyes. "You're scared I'll succeed. You're terrified at being locked inside the cage again, for another millennia."
By that point, I was smiling almost manically as I saw the look in Satan's eyes telling my how right I am when he said, "You'll never make it."
"Maybe I won't." I told him. "But will you take that chance?"
"You're right." Lucifer said, smiling now as well. "I won't."
I knew what was going to happen before it did. Moving backwards, I escaped the hand that reached out to grab me and found, once again, a blade in my hand.
Lucifer's eyes widened in shock. "How did you get this blade?" He asked.
"Like what you see?" I retorted.
"I asked you a question." He said coldly.
"I don't know." I replied. "It just appeared."
"It's an Angel Blade." Lucifer said. "By definition, only angels have it."
"I can do almost everything an angel can do." I reminded him. "Apparently I have a blade. So what?"
"You're stronger than you should've been." He said. "Even with Gabriel's assistance, there's no way you can be that powerful."
"That's the thing about humans." I said. "That's what you, the demons and the other angels just fail to understand. We're stronger than you think, and that will be your downfall."
Lucifer was quiet for a moment, as if thinking about what I just said before a single sentence came from his lips.
"In your dreams."
He launched forwards again, this time also sending me to the wall but I was prepared. I focused on the chair next to the bed and threw it at him. He dropped me with surprise and I managed to cut him with the knife.
He screamed in pain, sending a lamp at me. It hit my side and, surely, it hurt, but I had one major advantage on him – I didn't mind fighting to kill.
It may sound heartless, seeing as killing him meant killing my own brother. Don't get me wrong, I knew it would break my heart to kill Sam, but how different is it already from throwing him into the pit?
If anything, it was merciful – that way he wouldn't be stuck in the cage with a pissed off Lucifer until the end of eternity. Or, at least, so I told myself.
In the end, it didn't seem to matter if Lucifer didn't fight to kill. The knife was thrown out of my hand and I lost my ability to move.
"I have grown tired of your games." He said, reaching out and holding me by the throat.
I blinked and found myself standing in a basement.
Now, emotions, they are nothing more than electronic waves in our brain. One synapse sends information to another, and nothing more.
In theory, that is.
When we laugh, we don't care about the chemical reactions. We care about the joke. When we love, we care about the person in front of us. When we cry, we care about what and who we lost. And when we decide to give ourselves wholly to another person, it is not the chemistry that matters, but the intention.
As soon as we appeared in the basement, Lucifer let go of me and stepped forward.
"Stop." He said to someone I didn't see. "Stop it!"
For a moment, I could see the change on his face – from Lucifer to my brother and back.
"Fine!" Lucifer called. "I will let you talk to her! But if you try something, I swear I don't care – Child of Creation or not – I will kill her. And she will suffer."
For a moment, I was confused. And then the look on his face changed and my brother pulled me into a tight, comforting hug. I hugged him back and he twitched when I touched one of his wounds – the wounds I created.
"I'm sorry." I said, tears swelling in my eyes.
"It's okay." Sam said. "I understand. Are you okay?"
I nodded. "He didn't hurt me." I said. "He needs me alive."
A look of pain crossed Sam's face. "The Child of Creation, eh?" He asked.
"Trust me, I didn't plan this." I said.
"I didn't plan on being Satan's vessel." He countered. "And… You and Cas?"
"It just… happened." I shrugged.
"I bet it did." Sam smiled but I could see he was holding back tears, as well. "I'd say I'm going to have a serious conversation with him about it, but…"
"I know." I said, and suddenly we were both crying. "I didn't want it to be this way." I wept. "This wasn't how the first time I see you again happens."
"I've missed you so much." He whispered into my ear. "Even before you left, I've missed you. And then you were gone, without even saying goodbye."
"It was all too much for me." I said, praying he would understand. "Being locked at Bobby's. I wasn't allowed to hunt, I wasn't allowed to go to college. I wasn't even allowed to make friends, to date."
"You were Daddy's Little Girl." He said affectionately.
"But I wasn't so little anymore." I told him. "I was eighteen, and living in a prison."
"I know." Sam said, rubbing circles at my back. "Trust me, I know."
"And then I was out and I was just… normal."
"But you got dragged right in." Sam said, and I knew he was talking about more than just me right now.
I mindlessly brushed away a tear from his cheek. "We both were." I whispered.
"You managed longer." He smiled. "An FBI agent? Who would've thought, Dee?"
"That's Supervisory Special Agent Chess for you, young man." I laughed.
"Yes, ma'am." He looked thoughtful for a moment before the smile drifted off his face.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing." He said quickly.
"I know that look." I said. "It's not nothing."
"It's just that…" He hesitated before saying, "You changed your last name."
"I wasn't a Winchester anymore." I said. "It didn't seem fitting."
"You're always a Winchester." Sam told me. "No matter what, you're family. For better and for worse."
"Blood isn't enough to be family." I said. "You've got to earn it."
"What about what you did back at 1978?" Sam asked. "Or at TV Land? Or just a couple of days ago, when you took Pestilence's ring? If you'd ask me, I'd say you earned it, fair and square."
"It still doesn't make up for everything else I did." I said. "For leaving, for lying, for hiding from you –"
"You had a new family to look after." He justified.
"And I failed, miserably."
A look of sad understanding passed Sam's face. "You have the look." He said.
"What look?" I asked, confused.
"The same look I had after losing Jess." He replied. "Who was it?"
I sighed in defeat and still-fresh grief. "My husband and kid." I said. "Raphael killed them, it was around the time you've saw Adam."
"What were their names?" Sam asked.
"My husband was Daniel Andrew McCloud." I said with a longing smile. "And we named my daughter Jennifer Mary but… she wasn't his."
"Whose?" Sam asked, confused.
"Castiel's." I admitted.
"Okay, we really need to have that talk with Cas." Sam said and for the first time since before 1978, I laughed until I teared.
After I calmed down, I sighed and put my head to rest on Sam's shoulder. "I've missed you." I said.
"And I've missed you." He echoed. "I want you to know that no matter what happens next, I –"
"I know." I told him. "And I want you to remember that… me too."
"I know." He said.
We sat there for another couple of minutes before I felt, rather than saw, Sam's posture changing. Almost immediately, I jumped backwards, as if I were burned.
"Really, Diana." Lucifer said, and it was all too much for me to see it on my baby brother's face so soon after talking to him. "I'm offended."
"Good." I said, looking at him with unhidden disgust.
"Well," Lucifer sighed, "we really must be going now. And I'd simply hate to hurt you more than I already had. It makes my vessel terribly upset."
"He has a name." I said through gritted teeth.
"Is this really important now?" He asked.
"Yes!" I called, annoyed.
"Fine." Lucifer frowned. "It makes Sam terribly upset. Now, if you please."
I took a deep breath to prepare myself as I stepped forward, into his reach and he put his hand on my shoulder.
During the moment before we moved again, I looked into his eyes and tried to find a trace of my little brother, trapped inside his own body.
"It's okay." I whispered and we disappeared.
The girl swore that she would do whatever it takes to protect her family. She discovered powers, and had learned to use them so that she could keep them safe, to the best of her abilities.
Sometimes, though, the best of our abilities isn't enough.
Demons and angels entered her house, and killed her husband and child. She fought with all her might, died and was resurrected to 'A world of nothing but pain.' Her words, not mine.
She had no choice but to enter the world she ran away from for over a decade, as she was a key to the peace that she wished for so badly. Sadly, she was also the key to the end of everything she had left.
I was bound, gagged and invisible, as the two Archangels looked at one another, ready to begin the battle of Armageddon.
"What about her?" Michael, in the form of Adam, asked, nodding his head at me.
"She won't choose." Lucifer said, using Sam's voice. "So she will be the prize for the winner."
I'm not an object! I wanted to scream but, obviously, couldn't.
They looked at one another, each of them ready to give that first blow, when "Rock of Ages" by Def Leppard started playing full volume and Dean drove the Impala into the cemetery.
No. Was the first thing I thought. No. Dean was supposed to be the one who's safe! It's bad enough that I'm in this mess, that Sam is, that Adam… Dean was supposed to be the one who walks out, alive.
"Howdy, boys." He said as he parked the car and walked out. "Sorry. Am I interrupting something?" He closed the car door and walked towards Lucifer. "Hey." He said. "We need to talk."
"Dean." Lucifer sighed as he and Michael exchanged homicidal looks. "Even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid."
For the first time ever, I actually agreed with what he said.
"I'm not talking to you." Dean said. "I'm talking to Sam."
"You're no longer the vessel, Dean." Michael said. "You got no right to be here."
"Adam," Dean said, looking at the body of our half-brother, "if you're in there somewhere, I am so sorry."
"Adam isn't home right now." Michael said, almost amused.
"Well, then you're next on my list, buttercup." Dean told him. "But right now, I need five minutes with him." He shook his head at Sam's direction and Michael lost it.
"You little maggot." He sneered. "You are no longer a part of this story!"
"Hey, Ass-Butt!"
Four heads turned to the direction of the voice as Lucifer, Michael, Dean and I saw Castiel standing next to Bobby and throwing a bottle on Michael. The bottle broke and its contents spilled, burning Michael away as he screamed.
"Ass-Butt?" Dean asked.
"He'll be back, and upset." Cas said. "But you got your five minutes."
"Castiel." Lucifer said, his voice dangerously calm. "Did you just Molotov my brother with holy fire?"
"Uh…" Castiel looked afraid. "No?"
"No one dicks with Michael but me!"
He clicked his fingers and just like at Chuck's house, Castiel exploded into tiny pieces that spluttered all around.
"No!" The gag disappeared from my mouth just in time for me to let the scream out. "Cas! No!"
Bobby and Dean looked around, confused.
"Baby doll?" Dean asked. "Is it you?"
"You killed him!" I screamed at Lucifer, ignoring my brother. "You killed him!"
"I would have done it sooner or later." Lucifer said. "You should be grateful it was quick and painless."
"You monster!"
Lucifer flicked his risk and suddenly I was choking and gasping for air. Bobby raised his gun and shot at him but all Lucifer did was to flick his wrist again and Bobby's neck broke.
"Quiet." He told me. "The grown-ups talk now."
"Sammy, can you hear me?" Dean asked, his voice on the verge of tears.
"You know," Lucifer said, magnifying every stop in his speech with a punch. "I tried to be nice. For Sammy's sake. But you are such a pain in my ass." And with that, he threw Dean at the car.
"Sammy?" Dean asked. "Are you in there?"
"Oh, he's in here, all right." Lucifer said manically. "And he's gonna feel the snap of your bones. Every –" Punch "– single –" Punch "– one. We're gonna take our time."
"Sam, it's okay." Dean said through his broken jaw. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you."
And even though Dean kept saying it was okay, I knew it wasn't. And I was raged.
The invisible bounds that held me together snapped and I stood up, my powers knocking Lucifer away from Dean. Glowing white light came out from me but I paid it no attention as I raised my hand and focused on Sam's consciousness.
Once again, I could see the way Lucifer was gone from his features and my brother returned.
"It's okay, Dean." He said. "It's gonna be okay."
"Hurry up." I said, tears streaming from my eyes at the effort it took to fight Lucifer's control. "I can't hold it for much longer."
Sam pulled the four horsemen rings out of his pocket and chanted the spell to open up the cage. He stood on the edge, ready to jump in, when Michael returned.
"Sam!" He called over the raging of the portal. "It's not gonna end this way! Step back!"
"You're gonna have to make me!" Sam called back.
"I have to fight my brother, Sam!" Michael said. "Here and now! It's my destiny!"
I sunk to my knees as the effort started being too much and I knew any second I was going to lose the tiring battle. It was just at this moment that Sam grabbed Adam's body and they both fell into the cage, trapped there with Michael and Lucifer.
The light was still coming out of me, somehow returning me my strength and allowing me to go on just a bit longer. I remembered the grief and agony I felt the last time I lost Castiel and focused on that, picturing him in my mind's eye. He appeared in front of me and I moved forward to hold him, but he backed away from the light.
I stopped, knowing I only had another minute of grace at best if I wanted to do anything else. Zachariah's words from 2014 rang in my head.
As much as you hate to believe it, you're not ready for the family reunion just yet, and neither is he.
I knew it was probably the most painful thing I ever had to do, but I also knew that if I ever wanted to give Dean his shot at having a normal life it had to be done. I leaned next to him and looked into his green eyes, identical to mine.
"Diana?" He asked, disbelieving, before I put two fingers to his head and he passed out.
The light died off and I was left with Castiel at the cemetery, exhausted.
"What did you do?" He asked.
"Gave him another shot." I said. "When he wakes up, he won't remember I was here."
"Are you okay?" He questioned, concerned.
"I will be." I replied.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Take me back to the motel Lucifer took me from." I told him. "I'll take Darlin and go back to Virginia. Fix Dean. Fix Bobby. Let them go on with their lives."
"Are you sure?" Cas asked. "You can still change your mind, if you want to."
But my mind was already set up. I knew just what I was doing from this point on. Castiel brought me back to the motel and I collected my things before returning to Virginia, appearing on Garcia's threshold at two in the morning.
She escorted me to a motel, where we also met Spencer, and I told them almost everything that happened, knowing some parts had to stay a secret, for their own safety.
In the morning, they went back to work, where little did I know Garcia saw the mail Chuck sent her the night before. It included two versions of Swan Song – the first was the unpublished edition, the events that actually happened, while the second included the false memories I planted in Dean's head.
He stayed true to his promise to keep me out of the story until the final book was published.
At lunch break, Spencer sat down and started reading the unpublished edition, involving my conversation with Sam and my part at stopping the Apocalypse. As the book came to an end, he paled and ran to Rossi's office.
"What is it?" The older agent asked.
"Look!" Spencer said, shoving the last page of the story under his nose.
Rossi looked at him for a moment, confused, before he started reading.
So, what does it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right.
Up against good, evil, Angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice.
They chose family. And, well, isn't that kinda the whole point?
No doubt - endings are hard.
But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?
You could have seen the proof to that, a day or two later. A woman was sitting in her motel room, right outside Virginia. She just finished writing a letter, and couldn't help but remember a letter so much alike that, that she herself had received only three years prior. Herself and the person her letter was addressed to.
She couldn't help but wonder - was she making the right choice? Was she doing the right thing?
Honestly? She knew from the moment Sam made that leap into the Cage.
She picked up her Angel Blade, remembering the night she first found out she had one. She promised to take care of her family, to keep them safe. She broke that promise too many times for her to count.
She wasn't going to make the same mistake again.
It was a hard task she was taking upon herself, that much she knew for certain. Giving up the normal life she worked so hard to build for herself in order to help Dean maintain his.
But her normal life were never normal, as she learned the hard way.
She put the Blade inside her bag, finished packing her little belongings, and stepped out the door, leaving everything she was behind her in order to become someone else.
SSA Diana Chess was dead now.
After twelve years, Diana Winchester came back to life.
A/N: I simply can't believe I finished part two. Just… wow. I love you all for reading it, and for sticking in with the last AN of this part. The next part will be uploaded in exactly two weeks and it will be named "A Threat on the Black Queen".
For now, though, I'd like to thank to all of the -
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And now… Sneak-Peak:
"Are you good?" Dean asked.
"Yeah," Sam replied, before noticing me. "Diana."
"What?" Dean's head turned.
"Now is not the time," I interrupted, choking back the tears. "We need to find Cas."
