Ltfl: Okay that's good, thank you :-)
Dancingwithmyshadow6: Thank you :-)
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lily was flicking through the drawers in Connie's office, wondering why she'd even been chosen to do a filing job in the first place. Did Connie just want a good and healthy to distract her? Did she think that she was going to cause trouble? Was it a subtle way of getting her to talk about her feelings?
"These also need filing alphabetically as well," Connie said, handing Lily some more files.
"What's the point in this, Mrs Beauchamp?" Lily questioned her. "I was a registrar. Now I'm filing. I've basically just been demoted."
"You've been booked off work for four weeks," Connie reminded her, and sat down on the sofa. "You are in no fit state to be attending to patients, so you can help me with my paperwork."
"Surely I should be at home then," Lily said.
"I don't feel comfortable with that," Connie said. "You won't be doing this every day, just up until the court case. I think your mind is elsewhere at the moment, don't you?" Lily just shrugged her shoulders, as she continued to organise Connie's files. "Those sessions with Mary will help though, won't they?"
"I guess," Lily whispered.
"And you'll be seeing me at least once a week for a check-up," Connie said, patting her on the back whilst making her way over to her desk.
"Seriously?" Lily frowned, just as the door opened and Gem walked in. "Easedropping, were we?" Lily said, flicking her head towards Gem. "You can't get enough, can you?"
"How do you spell attitude?" She questioned Lily.
"A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E," Lily spelt out with her. "I thought I'd already taught you that. Why do you want to know?"
"Iain said that I needed a better one," Gem said, shrugging her shoulders and not looking in the least bit bothered. "Are you busy? I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk or something, you could maybe teach me some new words."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Gemma," Connie sighed from the desk. "We're trying to get Lily away from any kind of stress."
"It's Gem!" Gem shouted at her. "And shouldn't we let Lily decide? I just thought that she might like a break away from this stuffy office."
"I'll be okay, Mrs Beauchamp," Lily told the clinical lead. "I want a walk."
"Not far, please," Connie sighed heavily, and got back to her paperwork.
Lily shut the drawer that she was putting the files in, and walked through the open door that Gem was holding open.
"Gemma," Connie called to the teen, before she could leave. "Look after her," she added, knowing how much of a bad day Lily had had already, even though they weren't even through half of the day yet.
"How did the appointment go?" Gem asked.
She and Lily sat at a bench outside the ED. Well, Lily was sat on the seat at the bench with a bottle of water and Gem was sat on the table, cross legged. She'd almost asked Lily to grab some lunch, but quickly remembered before the words escaped her mouth.
"Not great," Lily whispered, taking a huge swig from the bottle. "She's booked me off work for four weeks."
"I'm sorry," Gem said. "I know that's probably hard for you. When's the hearing?"
"I don't know," Lily replied. "It could take between four to eight weeks for them to come up with a date. Archie's being held in prison until then though so I guess I shouldn't complain."
"Why do you cut, Lily?" Gem asked. "I'm sorry if...If I sound insensitive."
"You don't," Lily said. "You're just doing what most doctors and counsellors have asked me. You'd be good in the medical profession, you know?"
"Yeah," Gem scoffed, a small smile on her face. "If I was clever enough. I'm totally thick though."
"You're not thick," Lily said, shaking her head at the young girl. "And I don't know why I cut. I guess it distracts me from everything that's going on in my life, it gets rid of all the pain that I'm feeling, and in a weird way it just makes me feel better."
Gem nodded faintly, looking down at the notebook that sat in her lap. She so badly wanted Lily to teach her again but she didn't want to stress her out too much.
"That's the same reasons as me to be honest," Gem sighed. "I thought I was crazy. It seems nice, hearing it from someone else."
"What do you mean?" Lily squinted her eyes at her.
"I used to cut myself, ages ago when I was in school," Gem confessed. "That's why I never went. I was too scared that the teachers would find out and call Mum or something."
"Does Iain know?" Lily whispered.
"No." Gem shook her head. "I never told him."
"Then I won't say anything," Lily said. "Not if you don't want me to. I know what it's like, and believe me, I wish that I was still keeping it a secret. I wish that people didn't know what I was doing to myself. Serves me right for throwing up in the bathroom of the ED though, right? I should have tried to hide it better."
"But I think you did that on purpose," Gem said.
"I just felt the need to," Lily said in a quiet voice. "It...It's like an addiction."
"No." Gem shook her head and leaned forwards. "I think you could have gone somewhere else, or even better, you could have controlled yourself. But you threw up in the bathroom of the ED hoping that someone would walk in and find you. I think you secretly wanted help Lily, you were just scared to admit it and that seemed like the only way in getting it."
Lily smiled and had another sip of her drink, before hanging her head. She placed the bottle on the table beside Gem, stuffed her hands into her pockets and turned to address her.
"You're not that thick, you know?" Lily said. "You just proved it." She turned towards Gem and said, "what did you need help with anyway?"
"Really?" Gem's eyes widened and Lily nodded, reaching out and grabbing the book from her lap. "I'm still getting my e's the wrong way round. I don't know why I find it so bloody hard."
"Don't worry about it," Lily whispered, as she scanned over the work that Gem had done. "This is actually really good."
"Really?" Gem frowned at her. "Are you sure you're not just being like Iain, and praising me even though it's crap?"
"My teaching skills are totally different," Lily laughed. "I wouldn't do that."
Gem nodded and sat in silence whilst Lily looked through the book. She felt sorry for her; she may not have known a lot about eating disorders but she knew about cutting and she knew what it was like to feel totally crap about yourself. She was about to speak when Iain strolled over to them both, hands in the pockets of his paramedic uniform.
"How are my two best girls?" He asked, taking a seat beside Lily and giving her a hug. "How did your appointment go?"
"Okay." Lily shrugged her shoulders, and looked up from Gem's book. "I was just telling Gem that I've been booked off for four weeks. In the meantime, I have to have counselling sessions with Mary and I'll be having regular hospital appointments as well."
"That doesn't seem so bad," Iain said.
"I just don't want to be having counselling," Lily muttered.
"You'll be fine," Iain said. "The break might be nice, and you can stay with me and Gem for as long as you like."
Lily managed a small smile and tried to hold back her tears, as she whispered, "thank you."
"I just don't understand Bulimia," Cal said, as everyone worked hard to discharge the patients. "Anorexia, I get, because they're refusing to eat in order to lose weight. With Bulimia though, you're basically eating."
"It's more of a control thing," Ethan informed his brother. "Usually, people with bulimia feel as if eating is the only control that they have. They have low self esteem, or depression, and feel as if they need to lose weight."
"But you're eating," Cal said. "Am I not correct in saying that?"
"Not properly though," Ethan sighed. "It's hard to explain Cal, but Lily...She'll be missing regular meals until she feels absolutely starving, then she'll binge but will feel completely guilty afterwards which is when she'll throw up. She'll just be stuck in this routine now or binging and purging, it must be horrible for her."
"I wish I could say that she could help it," Cal whispered.
"That's the thing," Ethan said. "She can't."
"Doctor Knight, Doctor Hardy!" Connie called, strolling over to them. "Could we stop discussing our colleague's personal life and get back to work please?"
"Mrs Beauchamp?" Cal asked. "Lily, she's getting help isn't she?"
"Of course," Connie replied. "We really need to get her eating properly again, and that is what we're doing. It'll take time, but we'll manage. Now, back to work please." And with that, Connie walked off.
"I always knew there was something off with Archie," Ethan said. "Look at the state that Lily is in because of him."
"But he's going to go to prison, right?" Cal said. "They can't let him off after what he's done to her."
"Who knows?" Ethan shrugged. "You never know what's going to happen in court, right? And honestly, I think that's what Lily's worrying about the most."
I will be writing the court chapter soon but I did some research and it takes a while for them to get a date apparently, hence why it's taking a long time to post. I don't want it to be rushed and unrealistic.
I hope you enjoyed the update x
