Thanks for your reviews and sweet messages! I had a great time in Sweden, although sometimes I really wished I had brought my laptop because I had blasts of inspiration :P
Unfortunately I sort of failed at making this a longer chapter - it is longer than most of my previous chapters but still not entirely what I had meant it to be. I'll learn :). Also, I know you guys will probably figure it out by yourselves but just in case, the second part of this chapter is from Ares's perspective.


Ares's palace was in a remote area of the Olympian complex. In the moonlit night (apparently, Artemis was still doing her job) its walls, though shimmering, seemed as black as the sky behind them. I laid my hand on the door; it was heavy and cold, the way metal is after not being touched upon by the warm light of the sun for a while. I looked up. The whole building was made of iron. Strange.

I pushed the door open with some effort and stepped into the pitch black hall. It took some time for my eyes to get used to the darkness. On the floor at my right lay a long bloody spear; a few feet away was a large, round golden shield. Carefully avoiding the drops of blood coloring the floor I followed the trail of weapons and clothes into a dark corridor and then into a dark bedroom, illuminated only by the faint dying flame of a candle. Across from me was a balcony overlooking the sea. Against the light of the moon I saw a silhouette leaning on the balustrade.

He had changed from his dirty battle uniform into a soft, crispy white tunic, barefooted. With his curls not sticking soaked to his head now, he barely reminded me of that delirious ferocious scene he had just caused, were it not for the fact that I would never be able to shake that memory. I stood still in the middle of the room, not saying anything and not making a move - I just watched him intently, gazing out over the sea as he didn't seem to have noticed me yet. Minutes seemed to pass while I stood there, afraid to let my presence be known. He seemed so calm now. I was clueless as to what would happen once he was aware that I was there. He didn't move, either; I didn't even see the rhythm of his breathing. I took one quiet step closer.

'Are you stable?' he asked then, not spinning to face me. His hands were still on the balustrade, his back was still arched slightly as if he was admiring the view from the balcony.

So I guessed I'd been wrong. He'd probably known about my being there from the moment I'd set foot in his palace. 'What are you talking about?'

He looked over his shoulder now. 'The…crying.' I studied his clean-shaven face, so different from what I had witnessed earlier but also so different from the face that I'd grown used to.

I nodded. 'Guess so.' I took another cautious step in his direction. He spun around faster than I could perceive.

He let out a soft chuckle. 'So you're on your mission again. They're really not giving you any time to adjust, are they?'

I considered that for a moment. He was right: from the moment that I'd arrived here, I'd constantly been in this roller coaster. Then again, that was also my own doing.

I shrugged. 'I don't intend to adjust to anything here.'

He leaned against the balustrade. I still couldn't make out all the details of his face, his expression was hidden in the shadows. 'You should probably just go home.'

I scowled. 'Well I'm sorry, but I'm not really capable of doing that with a snap of my fingers. But if you want to get rid of me, go ahead.'

He looked down. He seemed to smile then. Why was he smiling? There was nothing to smile about. I wanted to move closer to him so I could see his face more closely, see the way he looked at me. I didn't dare to, though. With the way he was acting now I couldn't be careful enough.

He looked up again. 'Really, Emma, I know why you're here, but you're not going to make a difference.'

I felt my heart start to beat faster with anger. All these people saying I was useless, didn't make a difference in the world, drove me so crazy! I knew that all of this was way bigger than me but Apollo himself had also said that I was the only one that could do this. That guy contradicted himself all the time.

'I've already made a difference, you idiot!' I yelled at him.

It took him by surprise. He stood straighter, moved away from the balustrade in my direction. 'You really think so?' Although this was definitely sarcasm, he didn't sound as threatening as before. Was he softening up? If that was true, then I was right: I had already gotten through to him. This process would be slow and painstaking, and I really, really didn't want to do this, but at least there was progress.

'If it wasn't for me, you would still be out there chopping some poor guy's head off. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't stand there looking like you're planning to stay.'

'If it wasn't for you there wouldn't even be an issue!' he bellowed at me. The force of his voice had me startled. I silenced. For a few seconds we stared at each other, both dumbfounded, while I slowly tried to interpret what he was saying. It could mean anything. He could have meant that he was better off without me. He could have meant that my existence was the cause for all the trouble - though that seemed a bit unrealistic. Maybe he'd meant that he really was aware of the problems that he had created. But mostly he just sounded hurt.

'No- Ar…' I started. Noah was gone. I just couldn't call him Ares. I remained silent instead.

'Just go, Emma. Go.' He turned around again, his elbows leaning on the balustrade. I stood there for a while, unable to move, until he looked over his shoulder. Even though I could barely see his eyes, I felt the distance between us. I turned on my feet and left the room, going straight to my bedroom in the main building to cry myself to sleep. I really. just. wanted. to go home.


Minutes after I heard Emma leave I finally went back into the room. I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut and then open, and sighed. Emma had been right. She had made a difference the moment she stepped foot on Olympus. She had gotten under my skin the moment I met her. She'd been right that I wanted to stay. Just being home and seeing her had made me see clearly. It wasn't that I was sick of fighting battles and feeling like a god again - I would never get sick of any of that.

I had left New York in complete agony and rage and I had indulged in bloodshed in order to deal with those feelings the way I had back in Greece. But ever since we'd left Greece for Italy I had changed as a person. I'd learned to think with my head instead of my heart and my fists. Responsibilities had made me grow up. Living among mortals for centuries had taught me to understand them. I hadn't lost myself. In fights I still was invincible, war still was the only thing on my mind then. But afterwards I would realize that they didn't satisfy me the way they used to. I realized that now more than ever. Battle gave me a short rush of adrenaline, but when they ended all I was, was alone. And that was exactly how I felt right now.

I lay down on my bed, my head buried in my pillow and my fists clenched. I rolled around.

'Gaaaaah!'

I knew everyone on Olympus and probably also plenty of mortals down in the valley could hear my desperate call. I knew Emma could. I told myself I didn't care about that, about her - but I knew very well that I wanted so badly to go to her chambers, lie next to her in her bed, hold her tight. I wasn't used to not getting what I wanted from mortals. They were always to eager to comply, either out of fear and intimidation or out of sheer exhilaration of pleasing me. Not Emma. Was she a weakness in me? Or had she simply entered my heart?

I stared at the ceiling as I thought this over. I needed to approach this logically. This problem that my fellow gods were talking about wasn't mine to fix - I was, according to them, the problem itself after all - and I wouldn't just drop my weapons and my pride at their request, so I might as well play around a little before I would pretend to crack under their pressure. In the meantime, I would get to see Emma with their approval, something that had rarely happened before. I smiled. Things were actually going well. The only problem was really that I didn't know how to act around her. This wasn't the first time I'd seen her since I left her in the Italian hospital; in these past months, I'd checked up on her regularly, any time that I wasn't on the battlefield. It was, however, the first time since then that I had any real contact with her. I knew how she felt about me, about Ares - the look on her face when she entered the room, when we talked after the meeting, when she was just here, they all spoke volumes. I repulsed her. I abhorred her. How was I ever supposed to get her back if she would never take me for who I was? I was, honestly, not really helping myself with that, either; but sarcasm and indifference would keep her at a distance, and that felt safe. If she wasn't to be mine anymore, the least I could do was to make sure I wouldn't get my hopes up for nothing.

I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. I needed to sleep. Anything was better than to mull over all this all night, all alone.


Tiny spoiler: we may be seeing more of Aphrodite soon. In the meantime, please review this chapter :) let me know whatever you like and don't like, so I know what to work on; in the end, I just want to be a better writer!