Author's Note: We've seen a lot of Holly taking care of Gail in this story. The circumstances necessitated it. But when life drops a pile of shit in Holly's lap, Gail knows how to be there for her wife.
Warning: This chapter has discussions of child abuse. It doesn't happen in real time and it doesn't involve any children we know, but if you are sensitive that that sort of thing, you may want to skip.
"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Holly asked as she stood at the kitchen table, loading her laptop into her bag.
Gail was watching her nervous wife from the couch, attempting to hide her amusement. "Yes, Lunchbox. I will be fine."
Holly walked around the couch and sat down on the edge, her hand resting on Gail's side. "How's your head?"
Taking pity on her wife, Gail answered in an uncharacteristically straightforward manner. "It feels ok right now. Just a dull ache. I don't even need any Tylenol."
"What are you going to do today?" Holly asked, trying to convey a nonchalance she didn't actually feel.
Gail gestured to the couch and TV. "You're look at it. I'm going to lie here, watch bad TV, take naps and generally be incredibly lazy."
"So you won't leave the house right?" Holly said, a wrinkle of worry in her brow.
"I'm not cleared to drive yet, baby." When her wife quirked an eyebrow, Gail continued patiently, "I swear I will not drive anywhere unless there is an emergency." Holly tilted her head making Gail concede even further. "An actual emergency that does not involve food."
Holly nodded and sighed, "I'm sorry. I know I'm being overbearing. I just don't like that I'm leaving you at home alone while you're recovering from a concussion." She lifted her head to lightly touch the stitches on Gail's head, the bandage having been abandoned the day before.
"It's ok, Lunchbox. You have to go to work." Gail rubbed her wife's outstretched arm soothingly.
"I don't know why it has to be me," Holly huffed. "My pregnant wife was just in a serious car accident. You'd think I'd be entitled to a few sick days." Her boss had called early that morning, asking her to come in to do an autopsy. He had the courtesy to at least sound apologetic, explaining that the circumstances of the case were such that the detectives had requested Holly personally. Based on previous experiences, Holly guessed the case involved a suspected murder, the body most likely in a particularly gruesome state.
"Because you're the best, Lunchbox. They always ask for you when it's a big case. Now go to work." Gail put her hand on her stomach. "The bean and I will be here when you get home."
Holly covered Gail's hand with her own. "Ok. But you'll call me if your head feels worse, right? I don't want you to be alone if you're sick. And I'm going to text you to check in. Please be honest about how you feel."
"I promise I will call you if I start to feel sick because of a headache. And I won't try to hide how I feel. But I think I'm going to be fine. I'm feeling much better."
"Why are you being so easy going about my hovering?" Holly asked suspiciously.
Gail sighed, "Because you deserve a break, baby. You've had to worry enough for a lifetime in just the past few months. But today is one day you don't have to worry about me."
Holly chuckled mirthlessly, "That'll be the day. You could be wrapped in bubble wrap in a rubber room and I'd worry about you overheating. I'm wired to worry. I accepted that long ago."
Gail reached up to run a hand through the doctor's dark hair. "It's one of the many things I love about you, Lunchbox. But at least today you can let your worry meter drop down to like a 2. There's not much trouble I can get up to just lying on this couch."
"Mmhmm. Even though I know better, I'm choosing to believe you because I will believe anything that will make me feel even a little less guilty about leaving you," she said, sadness in her brown, glassy eyes.
Gail grabbed the tan woman's arm. "Hey, none of that, nerd. I mean it. You're just going to work, like you do every day. And truth be told, I'm glad to have some alone time so I can eat as many cheese puffs as I want."
Holly smiled despite the uneasy feeling in her chest. "You're the worst."
"You love me," Gail grinned cheekily.
"I do. So much," Holly answered fondly. She leaned down to kiss her wife, cupping one cheek in her hand. When she leaned away, she lay both hands on Gail's stomach, her thumbs rubbing back and forth tenderly. "And I love you too, little bean. Be nice to your mama today, ok?" She lifted Gail's shirt slightly and placed a kiss on her rounded abdomen.
"Ok, Lunchbox, much more of that and the hormones will take over and then you're really going to feel bad about leaving your teary wife," Gail warned wetly.
Holly looked up into her wife's glassy eyes and smiled. "As much as I love when you show your ooey gooey center, I really do have to go." She kissed Gail on the forehead and then stood to collect her bag. "I'm going to call you on my lunch break and text you when I can. Please turn up the sound on your phone so I don't freak out if you don't answer because you didn't hear it ring."
"Ugh, so clingy, Lunchbox," Gail scoffed teasingly.
"You love me," Holly said with confidence, as she made her way to the front door.
Gail sighed dramatically, "God help me, I do. Go get your nerd on, Lunchbox."
Holly opened the door, but turned around to address Gail again. "Ok. I love you. Call me if you feel sick. And text me back when I check in. And I know you said you wouldn't drive, but don't go for a walk either cause you've been getting really dizzy…"
Gail interrupted her rambling, "Holly! You're being crazy and I'm too comfortable to get up and kiss you to shut you up. I love you and I will be fine. I will call you if I'm not fine. I will be on this couch all day, doing nothing but resting. Now go to work." Gail pointed toward the doorway.
"Ok, ok. I love you, honey. Bye." She closed the door behind her and turned the lock.
Gail chuckled and then picked up the remote. She had just settled on a terrible sitcom when she heard the door unlock and then saw Holly's face appear from behind the door.
"About the cheese puffs..." Holly started.
"Nope!" Gail yelled comically. "No, no, no. Go. To. Work!" She waved her pointed finger for emphasis.
Holly held up one arm, keys in hand. "Ok, I'm going, I'm going." The door closed again.
Gail waited until she heard a car engine start, shook her head and un-muted the TV.
Holly was not happy. Not only had she left her injured, still somewhat ailing, wife at home alone, but the case she had been called in to work was more horrific than she had anticipated.
She hated doing autopsies on children. For obvious reasons, it was disturbing to see a dead child, let alone have to cut one open. Thankfully, it was quite a rare occurrence. When a child died, the cause was usually known – a severe illness, drowning, tragic accident – circumstances that did not require an autopsy to determine the cause of death. So when a child did end up in her lab, it was usually because something unspeakable had happened.
The child currently on her table was no exception. He couldn't have been more than three years old and all signs indicated that the poor boy had endured nothing but abuse in his short life. Working off a tip, the police had raided a house believing they would find a meth lab. What they found in the basement was far more insidious.
The small child had been locked in a cage, covered in his own filth. He had clearly been starved, his bones far too visible beneath his pale skin. His back was covered in sores and x-rays showed multiple fractures, both recent and old, in his skull and ribs.
Sitting in her office, her uneaten lunch on the desk in front of her, Holly tried to think about anything other than the horrific details she had uncovered. She needed a momentary reprieve from the knowledge of what that little boy had been forced to suffer through.
She grabbed her phone and dialed Gail's number, one elbow resting on the desk, her face in her hand. She hadn't even had a chance to text her wife to check how she was doing.
Gail sounded a little groggy when she answered, "Hi, Lunchbox."
It still amazed Holly that just the sound of her wife's voice could fill her heart with warmth and settle nearly any unease she was feeling. "Hi, honey. How are you feeling?"
"Mm, I'm ok. I was just lying down to take a nap cause I've got a little headache," Gail quickly added, "not a terrible one, just a little worse than earlier."
Suddenly feeling tense again, Holly asked, "How bad is it? Do you feel sick to your stomach or dizzy?"
"I don't feel sick and I haven't left the couch so no dizziness. Don't worry, it's just a headache," Gail tried to reassure her wife as she rubbed her forehead with her fingers.
Still unconvinced, Holly pressed, "How bad is the pain, sweetheart?"
"Like a five. Not terrible. Just uncomfortable. I think I'll feel better if I just sleep a little," Gail replied.
"Ok, honey. Take some Tylenol if you haven't yet and call me if it gets worse. I'll let you go so you can rest."
"Wait, tell me about your day a little. Catch a cool case?" Despite the ache in her head, Gail wasn't ready to hang up yet.
There was a moment of silence before Holly responded. "The case is…well the case is terrible, but I'd rather not talk about it because I'll probably start crying and I'm not sure I'll be able to finish the autopsy," Holly admitted, her voice already quivering slightly.
Gail was suddenly very alert. Even the possibility of Holly crying put her on edge. "Baby, are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Are you ok?"
"I'm not really. But I need to just keep my clinical hat on right now or I won't be able to get through this."
"Ok, I understand." If anyone understood the need to compartmentalize, to just do the job, it was Gail. "Will you tell me about it when you get home?"
"Right after you hold me for at least an hour," Holly said seriously.
Gail frowned. Her wife was really not ok and she hated that there was little she could do to help. "I'll hold you as long as you need. Call me if you need me, ok?"
"I will," Holly said softly. The tenderness of Gail's response was chipping away at the carefully constructed wall the pathologist was using to stay detached.
"I mean it, Stewart," Gail emphasized.
"I promise. Now get some sleep, honey. I want you to feel better."
"I'm ok. You just take care of yourself." Gail paused a beat. "I love you, Holly."
That simple statement nearly undid her. Holly's eyes filled with tears and she struggled to keep them from falling. "I love you too, sweetheart."
They hung up and Holly took a moment to compose herself. Despite Gail's caring response and desire to comfort her, the phone call had only served to create a different kind of tension in her chest.
Even though Gail had said the headache wasn't that bad, Holly was far too familiar with her wife's tendency to hide the true extent of her pain. The headaches had been so terrible over the weekend that Gail had gotten physically ill and could barely stand on her own. She had even cried, a clear sign that the pain had been severe. Gail had said that she wasn't nauseous or dizzy, but Holly knew she would feel better if someone could just check on Gail. Unable to leave the lab until she completed the autopsy and recorded her findings, Holly decided to call in reinforcements. She picked up the phone and dialed another number.
"Detective Nash."
"Hey, Traci, it's Holly."
"Hey, doc, what's up?"
"I was actually wondering if you could do me a favor?" Holly asked hesitantly.
Traci smiled, "Anything for my favorite sister-in-law. Whatcha need?"
"Well, I had to come into work today and Gail's at home alone. I just talked to her and she said she had a headache. She told me she was fine, but…"
"But Gail has a habit of trying to keep you from worrying?" Traci interjected knowingly.
Holly breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that she didn't have to explain everything to Traci. She knew how Gail could be. "As much as I love that she wants to protect me…"
"It only freaks you out more?" Traci smiled.
"So much," Holly admitted.
"Want me to have someone drop by the house to check on her?" Traci offered.
She sighed, "I hate to abuse my relationship with law enforcement, but the pinpoint of panic I feel is overriding my guilt. I'm sure she's fine, but I can't leave for at least a few more hours."
"I get it, Holly. I will check with dispatch to see who is in the area."
"She's not going to be happy about it," Holly warned.
Traci chuckled, "Don't worry. I'll send someone who's Gail-proof."
Feeling a little better, Holly said, "Thank you, Traci. I owe you one."
"Don't mention it. I understand the particular torture of being married to a Peck. I'll call you back when I hear from the officer."
Expressing her thanks again, Holly hung up. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, bracing herself to deal with the nightmare waiting for her just down the hall.
Gail had just drifted off, the Tylenol finally taking affect, when there was a knock at the door. Trained to respond to her surroundings, she woke immediately alert. Groaning, she pushed her face further into the back of the couch, hoping the person at the door would get the hint.
No such luck.
When a louder, longer knock interrupted her attempt to fall back asleep, Gail grunted loudly in discontent and rolled of the couch.
Walking to the door, she shouted, "Someone had better be dead because otherwise someone is about to be."
She wrenched the door open and scowled openly at the visitor on her porch. "Dov, I swear to god, I will fill your skull with beans, put it on a stick and then let my baby use it as a rattle."
Unfazed, Dov smiled and pulled a box from behind his back. "I brought donuts."
Gail grabbed the box and turned back toward the living room. "You always were my favorite."
Dov followed the blonde inside, shutting the door behind him. He sat down in a chair next to the couch, watching Gail scarf down a powdery donut. "How are you doing?"
Gail glared at him over the donut. "Did a certain forensic pathologist talk you into stopping by to check on me?"
Dov simply smiled in response.
"Hold on." Gail set down her donut, licked her fingers and then picked up her phone to tap out a text.
"Gail. From what I hear, Holly picked up a pretty nasty case. Maybe you should cut her some slack today?" Dov said warily. Gail wasn't usually a fan of being told what to do. Unless it was Holly. And even then she still pretended to hate it.
The blonde paused mid-text, thinking about what Dov had said. She sighed, deleted what she had written and then put the phone down. She picked the donut back up. "What do you know, Epstein?"
"Not much. Just that it was a kid and it was pretty gruesome."
"Dammit. That's the last thing she needs," Gail noted. When Holly had to do an autopsy on a child, she was unusually quiet in the days that followed, always wanting to hold Gail rather than process through her feelings. She eventually would get around to talking, but tears were usually involved and if there was anything that undid Gail, it was seeing Holly cry.
Dov nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, she's probably pretty freaked out already, with the wreck and everything?"
"You could say that," Gail noted absently still thinking about how upset her wife was sure to be later.
"I heard she got in Duncan's face about it," Dov stated, clearly not surprised by concept of Holly getting aggressive.
"After it stopped being terrifying, it was incredibly hilarious. He looked like he might shit his pants," Gail chuckled.
"Good," he said flatly. "He broke every protocol and could have gotten you killed."
"Yeah. Don't worry. Steve set him straight," Gail smiled at that memory.
"So how are you really doing? Holly said you had a headache?" Dov changed the subject again.
"I'm fine. The Tylenol kicked in so it's barely anything now," Gail mumbled. If it weren't for the fact that Holly was behind the visit from Dov, she might have cursed him out for babying her.
"I'll pass that long to the doc." Dov hesitated for a moment, but then remembered that Gail's bark was worse than her bit. "How's the baby doing?"
"Fine." Gail tried not to grin at the thought of the baby.
"You must have been really scared," Dov pressed. "Chris told me you went into labor after the wreck."
"I didn't go into labor, I just had a few contractions. The baby is fine now," Gail growled, not liking where this conversation was headed, nor the memory of the terror she had felt right after the wreck.
Seemingly oblivious to her change in tone, Dov kept talking. "You must have been really worried that you were miscarrying. I mean I can't imagine what it would feel like to lose something before you ever really had it."
"You just don't know when to stop do you?" Gail asked angrily.
Dov looked genuinely confused. "What?"
"You are going to leave now. I may have a concussion, but I can still kick your ass."
Dov stood from his chair and walked toward the door. "Glad the concussion didn't affect your glowing personality, Gail."
"Fuck off, Epstein," Gail shot back. The momentary good will she had felt when she saw that Dov had brought donuts left as soon as he started talking about miscarriage. Par for the course for Dov, but Gail only had so much patience. Very little, in fact.
"I'll let Holly know you're no more broken than usual," Dov smiled to himself.
"I seriously hate you," Gail muttered as she followed Dov to the door.
"I love you too, Gail. Enjoy the donuts," he managed to get out just before Gail slammed to door behind him.
Gail returned to the couch and picked up her phone. She tapped out a quick text.
Wife: I love you and I promise I'm ok.
Lunchbox: I love you too and I'm really glad to hear that. You're seem far less angry than I thought you'd be.
Wife: Oh, I'm angry. Just not at you.
Lunchbox: Uh oh. Who came?
Wife: Dov. The only person I know who is dumb enough to talk to a pregnant lady about miscarriage after she had recently had premature contractions.
Less than a minute after she sent the text, Gail's phone rang, Holly's face appearing on the screen.
"Hi," Gail said softly.
"Honey, are you ok?" Holly asked, obvious concern in her voice.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Gail said very unconvincingly.
"You don't really sound fine," Holly prodded.
"I'm…it's ok…are you doing any better?" Gail didn't want to burden her wife with one more thing. And anyway, Dov was an idiot. She shouldn't think twice about the things he said.
Holly immediately understand why Gail was reluctant to talk about her feelings. "Honey, you don't have to pretend to be ok because I'm having a tough day at work."
"Yeah, I know," Gail sighed. Holly always knew how to get her to talk. "I just don't like to think about losing the baby or how close we were to that happening. Somehow that jackass always says just the right thing to get inside my head," Gail grumbled.
"I understand, sweetheart. But try not to think about it. The baby is fine and you are going to be fine once you're all healed," Holly soothed.
"Yeah, I know. I'm ok. It's just not something I needed to hear today. But I'm really ok." Gail decided to change to the subject to what was really occupying her mind. "Seriously though, how are you doing?"
Holly sighed, "I've been better. This case is really disturbing. And I don't think I'm going to get out of here for a while. The higher ups are really pressing to get as much of the evidence processed today as possible. So I may not be home until late, I'm sorry, honey."
Gail was quick to comfort her, "Hey, don't apologize, Lunchbox. You have work to do and you are the best person to get justice for that little kid."
"Dov told you?" Holly said shakily.
"He didn't give me any details. Just said it was a kid and it was pretty bad," Gail said.
"That's putting it mildly. It's horrific. And I don't know if it's because you're pregnant, but I am really not handling this well. I've seen some pretty terrible things, but this one is really getting to me," Holly admitted, eyes beginning to water.
"I'm so sorry, baby. What can I do? Do you want to talk about it? Do you want me to order some dinner and have it delivered to the lab? Or if you want something that doesn't deliver, I will call Dov and tell him to get his ass over and pick it up. Whatever you want. Just tell me what will help."
Holly squeezed her eyes shut, Gail's sweetness making it more difficult for her to maintain her distance from the horrors she had seen. "I love you for offering, honey, but I really don't think I can eat. And I do want to tell you about it, but I just…I need to do it when I get home because I'm probably going to fall apart and I still have a lot of work to do."
Gail hated that she couldn't help and hated even more that she couldn't drive. On a normal day, she would head over to the lab to take Holly a coffee or her favorite tea. Stupid concussion. "Ok, I understand. But call me if there's something I can do. I want to help."
"You do help. Thank you, love. I'll be much better when I get to come home to you."
"I'll be waiting, Lunchbox."
They exchanged a few more sentiments before Holly had to go, hours of work still to be done. Gail sat on the couch and thought about her wife. Her strong, emotional, beautiful wife. Holly loved her job because she felt like she could find answers and sometimes justice for grieving loved ones. She treated each body that came into her lab with the utmost care and respect because she felt like the memory of the deceased person deserved it. To Holly, forensic pathology wasn't just a job. It was how she contributed to the world, it was how she made a difference. That attitude and sense of purpose was probably why she was so good at it. And it didn't hurt that she was brilliant.
In her time as a forensic pathologist, Holly had seen a lot of gruesome deaths. Murders and suicides, people who had been brutalized and left somewhere to rot. And despite her compassion and empathetic disposition, Holly was rarely emotionally affected by her cases. Some of that was a natural desensitizing that came with doing the job for so many years. And part of it was the clinical and professional mindset she adopted when she put on her lab coat. But the one exception to Holly's normally unflappable demeanor was when a child appeared on her table.
Holly had told Gail on a couple of occasions that most forensic pathologists had a hard time doing autopsies on children. Especially when there was clear evidence of foul play. And rightly so. But it was part of the job and no matter how difficult it was, Holly refused to allow emotion to prevent her from doing her best work, from getting justice for the most innocent of victims. So for Gail to hear in Holly's voice how affected she was by a case? Well it meant that it was really bad.
More than anything she wanted to be able to provide some comfort, to share Holly's burdens. But she was stuck at home, not cleared to drive just yet.
But what if she wasn't the one doing the driving?
Gail quickly pulled out her phone and called the one person, other than Holly, that she knew would always answer.
"Hey, Ollie. I need you to come pick me up."
It was seven o'clock in the evening and Holly was done. She was emotionally and physically exhausted and all she wanted was to go home, hold her wife and feel her baby kick. But as spent as she felt, Holly wasn't actually done. She still had several more hours of tests to run and results to record. So she took a deep breath, closed her eyes to center herself and then went back to work.
With her eyes pushed up against the microscope, Holly heard footsteps in the hallway. She figured it was one of the techs or maybe Rodney, so she didn't look up. She wasn't in the mood to socialize. She just wanted to finish her work and get home as soon as possible.
But one of the more pleasant voices in her life broke through her concentration. "Hey there, doc. I have a special delivery for you," Oliver said as he entered the doorway.
Holly straightened up, intent on offering a quick greeting before returning to work when she saw that the man was holding his hand out as if presenting an actual surprise. Just behind him, Gail stood with two brown bags held up in the air and a cheesy grin on her face. She was dressed in jeans (the only pair that still fit – which reminded Holly that they needed to go maternity wear shopping soon) and a simple black t-shirt. The top fit snugly, but not unflatteringly so, and if Gail stood at just the right angle, her baby bump stuck out adorably. Her hair was pulled back in a messy pony tail, wisps of hair falling around her face. The affect took Holly's breath away. The glow of pregnancy combined with an expression that indicated she was feeling well for the first time in days made Gail look radiant.
Happy with herself, but feeling shy for some reason, Gail said, "Surprise, nerd. I have come to force you to eat something."
Without saying a word, Holly stood from her stool, crossed the room in a few strides and pulled Gail into a fierce hug. She buried her face in the blonde's neck and fought the urge to cry. Gail looked over at Oliver and held out the bags in her hands. He took them and silently slipped from the room. Her hands now free, Gail placed one on the small of Holly's back, rubbing soft circles, and the other under Holly's hair to gently scratch her neck.
They stood that way for several minutes, neither woman speaking, the only sound the gentle rhythm of their breathing. Gail understood that Holly needed the contact and was happy to provide it. Despite the fact that hugs weren't the way that Gail communicated, they were how Holly communicated and thus Gail had learned over the years to just hold on until Holly was ready to let go.
Not giving any indication that she was ready to move away, Holly whispered into Gail's collarbone, "I'm so glad you're here."
"I called Oliver to pick me up because I just wanted to see you. And I knew you wouldn't have eaten. I wanted to do something," Gail replied earnestly.
Holly finally leaned away and looked into Gail's eyes. "Are you feeling better?"
Gail chuckled and shook her head. The depths of Holly's selflessness never ceased to amaze her. "I think that's supposed to be my line, Lunchbox."
Holly smiled shyly. "I'm better now that you're here. How's your head?" She lifted her hand to lightly run her fingers over the stitches still in place.
Gail moved her hands to Holly's hips and smiled. "I feel good. No headache at all right now and I haven't felt dizzy or nauseous all day."
"I can see it in your face that you feel better. Your glow is back." Holly held Gail's face with both hands and ran her thumbs over Gail's cheekbones. "You are beautiful."
Gail had never quite grown accustomed to the unadulterated affection in Holly's eyes. She dipped her head, feeling a little embarrassed. "I haven't even showered today," she noted.
"Doesn't matter. You took my breath away when you walked in. And this shirt," she slid one hand down to rest on Gail's rounded stomach, "it looks really good."
Gail chuckled. "It's just a t-shirt."
"Yeah, but it shows off your little baby bump and as we have discussed, I'm a big fan of the baby bump," Holly donned that half-smile that Gail loved.
"You have such a pregnant-lady fetish, you perv. I'm a little surprised I was the first lady you knocked up," Gail teased.
Holly threw her head back and laughed heartily, the sound making Gail grin broadly. Holly pulled her in tight so their stomachs were pressed together. She wrapped her hands around Gail and laid them flat against the small of her back. "I only have eyes for one pregnant lady."
By mutual agreement, the women leaned in and kissed. A warmth spread through Holly's chest, easing a little of the ache that had accumulated throughout the day. They pulled apart before the kiss got heated, mindful of where they were. But they held each other's faces for several seconds afterward, simply relishing the contact and connection.
"Thank you for coming. Thank you for knowing I needed you to come," Holly said.
"I always want to be here when you need me. Even when you don't want to ask. You're my nerd," Gail replied as she gently pushed Holly's glasses up her nose.
Holly took a small step back and grabbed Gail's hand. "Let's go talk to Oliver. I have to thank him for bringing you here."
The two women started walking, hand-in-hand, down the hall toward the doctor's office.
"Yeah and if we don't hurry, Oliver will eat all of your dinner," Gail noted. Just as Holly was about to open the door to her office, Gail pulled on their joined hands, urging her to turn around. "Hey wait, how are you doing? Are you holding up?"
Holly tilted her head, eyes glistening. "I love you, you know that? I really love you."
Gail smiled, "I do know that and I really love you too." Then she dropped the smile and deadpanned, "Now tell me how you're doing, please."
Holly sighed and brought one hand up to rub her forehead. "I'm…well, I don't really know how I am. I'm not great. I just…I can't comprehend how someone could treat a child the way this child was treated. He was abused and starved and had to have been in terrible pain every day from fractures and infected sores." Her voice quivered. "How could a parent not love their child, Gail? Our baby isn't even born yet and I love that little bean more than I ever thought possible. I just can't understand how a parent could make their child suffer like that."
The doctor covered her mouth and whispered through tears, "He would have been in agonizing pain. Every breath would have been torture and he wouldn't have understood what was happening. I just…he was so little, Gail." She looked up and found that the blonde was also tearing up.
Gail squeezed Holly's hand. "I'm so sorry, baby. I can't imagine how difficult it is to have to catalog all of those horrific things. And I know it doesn't make it better, but at least you will be able to help that boy get the justice he deserved to have while he was alive."
She grabbed Holly's free hand and put it on her stomach, tiny feet or hands or elbows tapping against the spot. "But our baby will be loved. He is already loved. And we'll make sure he knows every day that his moms will do anything to keep him safe. We'll hold him when he's sick and comfort him when he's sad. We'll honor that little boy by loving our own little boy twice as much as any other parents."
Holly nodded, tears streaming freely down her face. She brought her other hand up to feel the baby's movements. She leaned over and kissed Gail's belly before whispering hoarsely, "Mommy loves you, little bean. And mama loves you too. You're already our most favorite."
When Holly kissed her stomach again, Gail sniffled and put her hand on the back of her wife's head. "We are a couple of sentimental saps, Lunchbox."
Holly stood up, hands still on her wife's baby bump. "Yeah, but we're moms now so it's ok."
"I still get to be the badass mom though," Gail reminded her with a point of her finger.
"Oh without question," Holly agreed quickly, a grin returning to her face.
Gail laid her hands on top of her wife's "Ok, nerd, let's get you some dinner before it gets cold. I brought you Indian."
Holly's face lit up. "Korma?"
"What else?"
Holly smiled crookedly. "I love you, you know that? I really love you."
"You said that already," Gail noted.
"It sounded familiar," Holly whispered as she leaned in for one more kiss.
