Disclaimer: See Chapter 27.

Note: I have a couple things to say this week guys. First off, I have to tell you how much I love and enjoy your reviews, but I have to ask, please do NOT ask to see other characters/couples. The main couple of this story is Roman and Cody. Dean and Seth, Wade and Brad, Jay and Ari, Jon and Trinity, Punk and Angie are all side couples and they have limited roles in this story. I don't mind you mentioning that you'd like to see them again, but please DO NOT read and entire chapter and then ignore all the work I've put into it just to ask for a specific couple/people to show up. It's frustrating. With that said, I'm sorry but I've grown frustrated with this problem. Also, next weeks update may be late. I'll be working the next 6 days straight to cover some extra shifts for my co-workers so my normal times for writing are going to be a limited. I'll try my best not to let this little hiccup mess up the flow though. So, I hope you're ready for the chapter. See you Friday! Enjoy! -JJ


Fear

Cody was sitting at the table, his back firmly pressed against the back of the chair while one knee was up resting against his chest, his other leg tucked between him and his foot. A steaming cup of tea was sitting in front of him, both hands wrapped loosely around it, keeping them warm. He tightened his hold on the mug, bringing it to his lips just to take a sip before once again setting it back down. His mind was in overload, finally taking in everything that had happened the night before.

He sighed, thinking that he'd learned more than he thought he would after everything. He looked down into the murky brown depths of his cup, almost letting the smile touch his lips when he thought the blend. Irish Breakfast. It was almost ironic that Roman had it in his cabinet. His thoughts were only taken for a moment before he went back to the night before.

Cody stood there in silence, his jaw tight. He let his eyes rest on the sudsy dishes, his shaking hands moving to finish them. Of course life wouldn't be that easy. "Fine," he murmured, knowing he sounded cold. He felt the first tear escape and start down his cheek.

"Cody," Roman started, pulling back, biting his lower lip when he saw the sparkling tear on Cody's cheek. He was quiet, thinking he'd made Cody cry more times than he ever should've. "Go ahead and get a shower, I'll finish these up." He knew it was a cop out, but for that moment in time he knew they needed a little space, something to break the tension between them.

Cody nodded, pulling his hands from the water and wiping them on his jeans before turning away. He didn't dare look at Roman as he wiped the offending track away. He walked over to his bag, grabbed a few things he'd need and walked into Roman's room for the bathroom.

Roman stood there, scrubbing the dishes slowly, listening as Cody turned the shower on. He swallowed hard. There was so much more to it than Maxine and his job. What was he supposed to do if he came home and it still didn't work? Then what, this entire fucked up mess would be for nothing. He didn't know what to expect if they got back together. There was always a chance that it wouldn't work again and he couldn't handle watching Cody walk away again. He couldn't handle walking away again.

He shook his head, blowing out a heated breath as he flipped on the water and rinsed the dishes. He knew the water wouldn't change in temperature or pressure as Cody showered, so he wasn't worried about hearing a sudden yell or a string of curses. Not like home.

He couldn't help but smirk, wondering how many times Cody had accidentally ran the dishwasher or flushed the toilet either out of spite or jest or sheer forgetfulness leading to Roman thinking he was being burned alive. A bittersweet memory.

He shook his head again, stacking the dishes in the drainer on the counter next to the sink, looking up at his bedroom door. There was a chance that he'd pushed Cody out the door completely. He knew that. He also knew that he wasn't overacting. He had his own reasons for wanting the space, the distance. He had his own fears with him and Cody, and the chance that all this fighting, all this stupid hoping could easily be in vain and they'd once again walk away from each other, this time permanently.

After a quick shave, Cody showered slowly, letting the water run over him while he tried to forget about everything. He just wanted the water to envelope him and take all his troubles away, and for a short while they did. He sighed as he washed his hair, using Roman's shampoo and conditioner, and his body, this time using his own body wash that he'd dug from his bag. He rinsed, thinking that maybe he should look into going home.

He knew Roman wasn't wrong about him hating Iowa. He wanted to be close to his friends and family. He hated cold weather and he loved working at the bookstore. He knew Roman was just trying to keep his happiness in mind, but he'd give it all up in an instant. He'd make Iowa work for him if he had to. He shook his head, letting the water fly around him before he turned the water off and stepped out, drying off before he wrapped the towel around his waist. He ran a hand over the fogged mirror, looking himself in the face. He looked pretty pathetic to himself, holding on in hopes that Roman might come back to him and Florida. Yeah, he needed to make arraignments to go home.

When he walked out of Roman's room, freshly dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt, he saw Roman sitting back at the table, his lesson plans in front of him once again, those grey eyes moving up to watch him as he pushed his clothes into his bag. "Can I use your computer?" he asked, turning back to Roman, their eyes meeting briefly before they lowered to the floor.

"Yeah," he said, standing from his spot and grabbing it from the living room. He flipped the lid open and started it up, before he handed it to Cody. "Did you want to sit at the table with me?" He tried not to feel so dejected when Cody turned him down gently.

"The couch is more comfortable," Cody reasoned, thinking that he wouldn't be able to book his flight home if he was right next to Roman. He offered a small smile before he took a spot on the couch, cradling the laptop in his crossed legs while he searched the web for a decently priced flight.

It was silent for the next half hour, neither one speaking, the only sounds filling the room being their soft breathing, the scratching of Roman's pencil and the occasional tap of Cody's fingers on the keys accompanied with the shift of one of them as they moved around to be more comfortably seated.

Cody was the one to finish first, getting his final details before he exited out and closed the lid. He stood, taking the laptop to the table and gently setting it in front of Roman. "Thank you," he murmured, pausing with his hands on the back of one chair, his eyes resting on Roman's beautiful handwriting on the paper. "Ro," he bit out, grey eyes meeting his. "I'm leaving Saturday night. I just booked a flight for around eight." He felt like he was holding his breath, Roman's eyes going wide for just a moment before they returned to the lessons.

Roman felt his jaw tighten, the nerve ticking as he let what Cody had told him fully rush over him. Of course Cody was going home, he'd practically pushed him back on the plane. "Okay," he whispered, his voice thick, crackling almost with the force it took to get the soft syllables out.

Cody tried not to let the hurt over take him. His hands tightened on the back of the chair, his eyes focusing on the papers. "Are you really okay with me leaving?" It was almost desperate, but he had to know. He had to know if everything he'd done, all this stupid hoping and wishing for a fairy tale ending was something too far out of reach.

Roman looked down at his lessons, taking a breath as he let the mechanical pencil fall from his fingers. "Honestly," he breathed, leaning back in the chair, his lips curling down into an almost hurt frown. "No." With that he smiled, his gaze flicking up to meet Cody's for just a moment.

Cody nodded, his heart aching more than he thought it would. He wanted yell that it didn't have to be like this, that he didn't have to leave, but he knew that it wouldn't do anything more than send them into another circle of unanswered questions and hurt feelings. "I'm going to bed." It was the only thing he could think of to get away.

Roman nodded, thinking that he wouldn't be able to focus on the lessons anymore no matter how hard he tried. "That's a good idea," he murmured, pushing back from the table and standing. He watched as Cody walked over to the sofa and started pulling the cushions free. "I'm not sleeping on that again. My back is so fucked up just from last night."

Cody tried not to let the words sting as much as they did. "Fine," he muttered, continuing to pull the cushions free and toss them to the side. It wasn't like he wasn't used to sleeping alone anyway. He didn't need Roman there. He stopped when he felt Roman take his wrist and gently stop his arm from pulling the last cushion free. His brows furrowed as he looked up into a softly smiling face.

Roman held Cody's uncertain gaze, his fingers sliding down to curl around Cody's. "I know you don't want to sleep on that thing again either," he started, breathing starting to quicken. He knew what he was going to say could easily get him punched, although he had no ulterior motives. "Sleep in a real bed for once." His heart jumped into the base of his throat, hammering away. He didn't want to sleep alone. Having Cody in his arms the night before had given him the best sleep he'd had in months and he knew how limited his time was, he wanted to hold onto Cody as much as he could until then.

Cody bit his lower lip, closing his eyes as he looked down towards the couch, the single cushion left intact. He nodded, letting Roman lead him into the bedroom. "Roman," he breathed, wanting to warn the other man that nothing would happen between them.

Roman could hear the uncertainty, the uneasiness in Cody's small voice. "I know," he answered, releasing Cody's hand and pulling the sheets down for them to crawl into. "I just want to hold you for a little while." He walked over to the other side, stripping off his jeans and pulling on a pair of long shorts. He glanced over, watching as Cody just climbed into the bed, still fully clothed. He felt his heart stammer as he removed his own shirt and climbed in.

Cody kept a bit of distance between them, wondering how many times Maxine had been curled up in this same spot. He closed his eyes, feeling uncomfortable and stiff. At that moment he would've rather slept outside in the cold.

Roman moved in, sliding his arm under Cody's head, his tattooed arm wrapping around his waist. He was silent as he felt his heart pound, Cody's doing the exact same against his upper abdomen. "Relax Cody," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the other man's forehead. "I don't bite."

"Liar."

Roman couldn't help but chuckle, the smile infectious as he looked down into smiling blue eyes. He felt Cody start to relax in his arms, their bodies fitting perfectly together again. "I have to go into the university tomorrow and get some office work done," he said after a few quiet minutes.

Cody only nodded, wrapping his arm around Roman's waist, pulling them even closer. He looked up, hating just how perfect Roman looked in that moment, the other man moving to remove the ponytail and shake out his long hair. He pushed back the hurtful thought that he might never get to run his fingers through the long mane again.

Roman adjusted, holding Cody as close as he could, leaning in. "I know I have no right to ask, but can I have a goodnight kiss?" he asked gently, his hand coming up to run through short hair.

Cody smiled, nodding as he shared a sweet, chaste kiss with Roman. His heart pounded as he pulled back, both curling up together and quickly falling asleep.

Cody sighed, trying not to think about how comfortable and close they'd been the night before. He groaned, downing the rest of his now lukewarm tea and grabbed some clothes from his bag. Roman had told him that morning that Shea was off for the day and wanted to hang out. He knew Shea would keep his mind off Roman and focused on something else.


Roman sighed as he drove extra slowly down the packed street. Of course there would be a detour because some idiot forgot how to drive in the snow. Not like he could talk, he wasn't great at it either, but even he knew not to fly down a residential street at 40 when the roads were icy and slick.

He drummed his fingers against the top of the steering wheel, his mind going into overload with his thoughts. He'd woken up that morning thinking that he was back in Florida, that things were perfect once again and everything had just been a nightmare. Its only served to depress him when his sleep fogged mind had cleared and he realized that this was actually his life.

He groaned as he stopped again, his eyes focused on the taillights of a Toyota Corolla he was following. He wondered if it would just be easier to park his SUV and finish the rest of the five-mile drive on foot. It wasn't like he hadn't walked that far before, although that had been in Florida and he didn't have to worry about the cold. He'd probably get there faster than this. He shook his head, trying to ignore the drive and not let it bother him. Instead, he smiled, remembering how that morning had gone.

Roman laid there after everything had cleared in his mind, his arms subconsciously tightening around Cody, holding the smaller male to his chest. He watched the handsome face for just a moment before Cody's eyes scrunched up and fluttered open. A small smiled graced the full lips as their eyes met. "Morning," he greeted softly, cupping the other man's cheek, leaning in and pressing a feather light kiss to his mouth.

Cody smiled, feeling Roman pull away. He remembered what Roman had said about having to go into the office that morning. Instead of trying to cling to Roman's warmth, he just curled up into the blankets, a muffled "Morning" escaping the folds of fabric.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Roman murmured, leaning over Cody, nudging the blankets away from Cody's face with his nose just enough to deliver a small kiss to his cheek. He wasn't able to any further under warm sheets for a real kiss. "Shea's off today. I'm sure he'd like the company if you're up for it."

Roman saw the nod of Cody's head before he turned and started his morning ritual. He showered and dressed, walking back into his room to find that Cody had fallen back asleep in his bed. It made him smile, probably like an idiot, to know that Cody was in his bed again. He walked over and lifted the blankets over Cody's shoulder before he placed one last kiss to his temple and quietly left, his heart so swelled in his chest, he was sure it would burst from happiness.

Roman shook his head, inching forward, letting out an irritated growl. He was so happy with Cody there. He almost hated how much he enjoyed it, knowing that Saturday Cody would be going home, without him. He suddenly started to dig in his pocket, hissing out a few choice words as he struggled to get his phone from his front hip pocket. He looked over the screen, thinking he needed someone, anyone, to talk to about this entire fucked up situation he was in. Instantly, he knew whom he needed at that moment.

Dean.

Dean was always up front and right to the point with him and he wasn't afraid of saying what he thought or if it would piss him off. That was exactly what he needed right now. He dialed Dean's number, waiting almost impatiently while it rang and rang. He was about to give up and hang up when it was finally picked up, but the voice on the other line wasn't Dean.

"Dean's phone, he's a bit busy right now. This is his personal secretary Seth, can I take a message for you?" Seth seemed to sing song, almost laughing at the end. "Hey Rome. What are you calling my man for? Isn't yours up there with you already?"

Roman paused, the smile that had taken over his lips suddenly falling. "Hey Seth," he sighed, his body deflating as he relaxed back in his seat, knowing he wasn't going anywhere for a while.

"Hey man, what's wrong? What happened Rome?" Seth asked, his voice growing more and more worried with each word. "Roman, what happened with you and Cody?" It wasn't questioning. It was demanding that Seth knew what was going on.

"I don't know what to do Seth," he breathed, closing his eyes as he let out a slow breath. "He's here with me and it feels so fucking right. He feels right but I can't. I can't just drop everything."

Seth sighed into the phone, his voice growing quiet. "Roman, what are you running from? If Cody feels right, why are you even doing this to yourself."

"Because I can't leave Seth. When I signed with UI, I took a two year contract. I can't back out of it and he lives in Florida. What kind of relationship would we have? I'm only get to see him once or twice a year. And even if I do come back after my contract is up, what if we don't work out again? I can't go through us falling apart again," Roman poured out, his mouth moving faster than his mind. "Seth, what am I supposed to do? I love him and I love Maxine and either way I'm just going hurt one of them."

Seth took a breath, listening as Roman's words grew frantic, begging him to give him some kind of direction. "Listen Rome," he started, his own voice very soft on the line. "I can't tell you what I think you should do, and neither can Dean. This is something you have to figure out on your own. As much as I want to tell you what I think you should do, I can't." He paused, taking a breath. "It's simple. Either way you're going to honor your contract, we both know that, so at the end you either stay with Maxine and in Iowa or you come back to Florida and be with Cody. Either way, you have to choose between here and there."

Roman nodded. "He offered to move up here with me," he said wistfully, swallowing hard, listening to the slight gasp on the other line. "Yeah, he's willing to start his life over for me."

"I'm guessing you told him no," Seth stated, his own tone growing a little more gloomy. "Because we both know he'd be miserable up there."

"Yeah," Roman answered, opening his eyes to see that the space between him and the car ahead of him had grown a good foot or two. He eased forward. "What would you do?"

Seth let out a humorless chuckle. "I know it's no where near the same but I felt a lot like that with Phil and Dean. I've always loved Dean, Rome, and I'd choose him over anyone, anytime. Even when Phil and I weren't a mess, I would've dropped him for Dean in a heartbeat if I was given the chance. To hell with the consequences."

Roman smiled, nodding, the traffic suddenly starting to move forward a little faster. "Thanks Seth," he breathed, sitting up and watching as the road cleared in front of him, thinking that they'd figured out the detour specifics, or cleaned up the accident. "Hey, let me get off here, I'm driving."

Seth's tone grew frustrated and loud. "You're fucking driving with me on the phone? Are you a fucking idiot? There's all sorts of snow and shit up there! Get off the phone and call me when you get home or something!"

Roman chuckled as he said his affirmatives and hung up. His drive was quick, and he was thankful. He had a lot of his mind, and he just wanted to get his set up done so he could get back home.

Unfortunately, luck wasn't on Roman's side and Ron came strolling in not even ten minutes after he'd made it into the office and started getting organized for the new semester.

"Well, I'll be damned, look at what the cat dragged in," Ron teased, laughing when big grey eyes landed on him. "Shit, looks like Florida was good for you, shaved that stuff of your face."

"Hey, I liked my beard thank you," Roman returned with a laugh, looking Ron over. "How was your Christmas?"

"Good, long. I'm glad the kids are going back to school, maybe my wife will be a little less stressed out," Ron laughed, walking over his own desk and setting his shoulder bag down. "How was Florida?"

Roman was quiet for a moment, pausing as he looked down at the photo of him and Cody that was still on his desk. He swallowed hard, picking it up.

"That good huh?" Ron asked, one eyebrow arching upwards. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes following Roman. "You wanna talk about it? I know it's about Cody. You're pretty transparent right now."

Roman couldn't help but smile, sitting down and turning to face Ron. He had a lot to explain. "You sure you have time for this?" he asked, chuckling almost bitterly. "It's a long fucking story."

Ron smirked, nodding. "I have a house with four kids, two Rotts, a scitzo cat, and a wife on a rampage. I came here to get some peace and work my lessons. Talking about someone else's problems sounds like a damn good idea to me," he explained, reaching down and digging in his bag. "I have to have these done by Monday and I barely have two classes started."

Roman nodded, relaxing back as he pulled out his own lesson plans. "Where to even start."

"The beginning's always good. How about the flight back? And leave out any details about the nice weather."

Roman let out a loud laugh at that.


Shea set two steaming mugs down in between him and Cody, watching as Cody picked his up with a smile. "Well, I'm glad Roman decided to tell ye that I was off. My latest interest canceled our plans tonight," he chuckled, sitting down at the table with Cody. "It's just some coffee." He eyed Cody as he sipped quickly and happily at the hot liquid.

"It's cold," Cody chuckled. "I hate the cold, like despise it. I kinda can't wait to go home where it's warm." He set the sweet coffee down on the table, looking up into the green eyes. "How can you handle this? It never snows in Florida. Well, almost never. We had a little flurry last year just before Christmas."

Shea noticed how Cody had grown quiet as he held his mug tightly. "Ye know, I've been wondering a few things, about ye and Roman. How do ye two get together?" he asked, settling in his chair, watching as Cody's lips turned up in a small smile.

"It just happened really. He walked into the bookstore I work at and after I helped him find the books he was looking for he asked me out to lunch. It just kinda went from there. We had a rough time in the beginning but I knew he was the one. Ya know?" he explained, looking up. "That sounds so fucking cheesy, I'm sorry."

Shea chuckled, shaking his head. "Naw, yer good. I guess that explains how ye feel about 'im then," he hinted, taking a sip of his own coffee. "Ye did fly all the way up here outta nowhere."

Cody felt his cheeks heat up as he nodded. He reached for the collar of his shirt, pulling the necklace up and out. "I love Roman more than anything in this world and I was in the wrong for hiding that from him. He's probably already told you about our history." He earned a quick nod. "I never stopped loving him, before I remembered, I just fought against it. Last Christmas he gave me this." He unfastened the chain and slid the beautiful ring off into his palm. He handed it to Shea to look at. "That means more to me than anyone could ever understand. Just the fact that he loved me that much."

Shea nodded, looking over the beautifully crafted band before he handed it back to Cody. He watched as Cody returned it to the chain and refastened it around his neck. He sucked in a breath, watching as Cody held the ring in his hand for a moment before putting it back inside his shirt. "I heard ye guys fighting last night. The walls here are so thin."

Cody hung his head, swallowing hard. He wasn't sure what to expect from Shea after that.

Shea took another sip of his coffee before he set his mug down. "Look, I'm not gettin' involved here because it's not me place, but seeing how ye two are, ye sure this is something ye want? I know how he looks at ye, I can see it meself. And it's not right to drag each other around like ye are either."

Cody nodded. "I know Shea. I just keep hoping ya know? Thinking that maybe what we had, what we still could have, is worth fighting for," he explained, his blue eyes falling back to his half filled mug. "I know how he feels about Maxine and I also know she isn't going to just give him up. She's made that pretty clear already."

Shea's ginger brows shot up in surprise. "So she knows yer here?" he asked, completely shocked. He watched as Cody nodded. "Well shite. I didn't think Roman would do it that quickly."

Cody nodded. "I'm terrified that when I leave Saturday that it's going to end right there. I don't hate her, but I don't like her. I know she makes Ro happy," he said, sighing when he reached the end. "I'm afraid that he'll just forget about me when I leave and she's here with him. She's everything his dad's wanted."

Shea smacked his hand down on the table at the comment. "This is Roman's life, not his father's!" he snapped, his lips turning into a deep set frown, his brows furrowing in anger. "The sooner he stops listening to other people, the better off he'll be. Listen mate, I've never seen two people so in love in me life. But ye can't keep hanging on to someone that's not willing to do the same. I've never been in love meself for longer than a night, but even I know that."

Cody smiled, unable to hold back the laugh that was growing in his chest, leave it to Shea to make him laugh.

"This right here is something ye two need to figure out before ye leave. If ye walk, ye walk, don't let 'im drag ye around. And I'd say the same to Roman. He's gotta figure out what he wants or else he's gonna end up alone." He took a giant gulp of his coffee before he slammed the cup down. He eyed Cody's uncertain look before he stood. "So, tell me about these ladies in Florida." He figured a change in topic would lift Cody's mood.

Cody couldn't help but smile and laugh. "You know I'm gay right? I'm not to big on the female population down there," he explained, watching as Shea's green eyes lit up with mischief.

"Gay or not, you can appreciate a nice looking lady."


(A/N): So, there was a lot of talking in this chapter. And a lot of things have been said, so maybe these two will figure something out. Thoughts are wonderful! Onwards and upwards! Title is Fear by Evans Blue.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust