He waited until Axel was snoring before he got out of bed and watched TV in the living room. He passed time snacking on chips and dip while watching horror movies, knowing his imagination and the dark paired together would ruin his chances at sleep, but at two in the morning it seemed too late to go back.
"Shit!" Roxas twitched when the damsel in distress ran right into the murders arms. "Fuck!" Roxas literally jumped off the couch and onto the floor when Neko-chan hissed at him.
"Where the fuck did you come from?" Roxas tried to stabilize his frantic heart as he pet the cat that he failed to notice earlier.
"My room."
"AH!" Roxas jumped again, turning to see Axel kneeling right behind him.
"Hahaha," Axel stood up tall.
"What was that for?" Roxas demanded a hand as Axel helped him back on his feet.
"I could hear you begging some bitch not to open a door for five minutes before I decided to join." Axel sat on the couch.
"Well too late, she already opened it." Roxas gulped down his pride and sat next to the redhead.
"Was that before or after you begged for your mommy."
"I didn't cry for my mom!"
"You were thinking it." Axel smirked back.
"It's not my fault, these movies are made to be scary."
"It's cute how you find it scary, but you're officially a member of one of the world's deadliest gang's." Axel laughed.
"Well we aren't living in a haunted house." Roxas defended himself.
"I didn't tell you about the little girl who used to live in here?" Axel sounded serious but his eyes made it clear he was lying.
"Whatever," Roxas tried to laugh it off.
"Seriously, I've probably done a lot worse that this guy," Axel got comfortable on the couch as he patted the couch next to him, signaling Roxas to join him.
"I'm sure you have." Roxas rolled his eyes, not wanting to admit such things that he knew deep down were true. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend that he didn't know that Axel really was a monster. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the things he had done, seen, and heard. For a month he had only seen the warm, romantic side of Axel, and it was disheartening to remember that there was a darker side of him.
"I'm serious. I don't murder kids, or the mentally challenged. I won't fight someone who can't fight back. At best I just scare them. But I've done way worse to men. This guy is an amateur." Axel got up to get popcorn before he returned to his spot.
"It's a movie Axe. You're a trained killer." Roxas sat next to him and started to eat.
"I could give him some tips." Axel threw a piece in the air and caught it in his mouth.
"He's fictional." Roxas reminded the redhead.
"Now why would he do that?" Axel pointed to the screen. "He should just break her leg. Much faster than cutting it off, less evidence. He already cleaned the basement, so now he's got to clean the attic as well? Plus she's more likely to go into shock. If you smash the ankle with a blunt object, it'll shatter and it'll be just as good as cut off, without the mess and trail of evidence."
"Good to know," Roxas squirmed uneasily.
"This movie is garbage." Axel continued to eat more popcorn.
"It's a low budget horror flick, of course its garbage." Roxas rolled his eyes.
"The violence wasn't realistic." Axel argued.
"Do you want to make your own movie?" Roxas was getting tired. He spent half the film listening to Axel point out flaws and tips to improve torture methods.
"If they made a movie of my life, they'd have to kill anyone who sees it." Axel smirked.
"Axel, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?" Roxas asked, his mind wondering with deep curiosity. Hearing all this talk of torture and murder made him crave the idea of a less painful and dark reality.
"Why?" Axel asked as he put car racing on the TV.
"Just curious. What did you want to be?"
"You want to try to learn more about who I was before I joined the organization." Axel translated Roxas' thoughts into words.
"Why is it that you can never answer a question without making it some fuss?"
"Why can't you be honest and just ask what's really on your mind?" Axel didn't even take his eyes off of the TV as the cars made another rotation on the course.
"What were you like before the organization?" Roxas looked to the redhead and waited for what he hoped would be a straight answer.
"I was curious, adventurous, impatient. I liked thinking I was a daredevil and trouble maker, but I was just like any other boy on the street, just trying to look tougher than I really was. Then, when Reno died, I had no choice but to be as tough as I acted, and then some. Well at least when I thought he died."
"I see," Roxas nodded.
"And to answer your first question," Axel stood up and looked to Roxas. "I wanted to be a fireman."
"A fireman?" Roxas stood up next and turned off the TV, since it was clear that Axel was going to his room.
"What can I say? I liked things my mother told me not to play with," Axel smiled and Roxas laughed, until he saw this humble and honest fear in Axel's eyes. "And I guess, I wanted to be a hero." The redhead shrugged before he gave what Roxas found to be a very fake laugh. "Guess I turned out to be the villain instead."
"It's not too late to change." Roxas whispered as Axel paused in the doorway. Axel froze in thought before he turned and whispered back to the blonde who was just a few feet away.
"Do not say such things ever again. If they hear you, they will kill you."
"Axel," Roxas followed after. "I think you would have made a wonderful hero. Perhaps you still are." He didn't know why, but he felt compelled to cheer up his partner.
"Hah! Thanks, but not even your ignorant compliment could be mistaken for honesty." Axel covered himself in blankets.
"I mean it. You saved me. That makes you my hero." Roxas smiled as he joined Axel.
"I'm no hero. I'd be grateful to be called a villain really. I'm a monster."
"No, you're not. You've just been forced to do things,"
"Don't try to excuse my decisions. I am where I am, not by my choice, but still by my actions." Axel gave Roxas his back as he said nothing else.
"Goodnight." The blonde said once more for the night and drifted into an uneasy dream.
The blonde wriggled restlessly in a nightmare that trapped his body and mind. He was stuck as a witness to horrible tragedies befalling men and women alike, all of them suffering by the hands of a skilled and deadly redhead. Axel. He was armed with a chainsaw and a sword, in an abandoned factory, walking slowly and confidently as he hunted down his helpless victims one by one. Whether with the elegance of the sword, or by the loud hum of the chainsaw, the redheaded assassin claimed his lives with a wide grin; and like a fly on the wall, Roxas watched these atrocities unable to make a sound or run away. His eyes leaked the tears that he felt in his sickened heart, but like a phantom he stood paralyzed by the reality of the horror before him.
"Come out come out wherever you are." Axel chimed smugly as he waved his chainsaw in the air.
"No! Please, don't!" A man begged on his knees before Axel separated his head from his body.
"Who's next?" The redhead called loudly as he followed a woman crawling on her stomach. A large cut had sliced her stomach, but still she slowly etched forward, leaving a trail of blood.
"Oh goodness, please, no," She sobbed as she continued to inch forward, all as Axel easily caught up. He stood over her helpless body, chuckling as she wept.
"Well, since you said 'please'," Axel mocked her.
"Please I'm begging you!" She screamed just as Axel thrusted his long sword into her back. It wasn't long before she went quiet.
Roxas witnessed several other similar murders, wishing he could close his eyes and pretend the images away. Then, when everyone had died, Roxas had hoped it was finally over.
"Just one more left." Axel said. He turned to face Roxas, as the blonde became aware of his now noticed existence.
"Axel," He gulped as he took a step backward.
"What death shall I give you, my sweet boyfriend?" Axel smiled as Roxas' stomach churned.
"Axel, why, why would you kill me?" Roxas shook his head as he feet continued to move backward on their own.
"I don't ask why, Roxy. You know that. They give me a name, I carry it out. It's that simple." Axel shrugged as he wielded his samurai sword.
"You don't need to kill me, I, I won't tell Xemnas, I'll run and I won't say anything, I," Roxas stumbled on words as his feet stumbled over some boxes behind him. "Please, we can run together, we can escape this and live our lives together, please," He held a hand up as he remained on the floor.
"For you, I'll make it quick," Axel gave another twisted smile before Roxas' closed his eyes.
"Please," The blonde scooted backwards on his ass as he begged for mercy.
"Spare me the theatrics Rox, just be a man and take it."
"I don't want to die!" Roxas screamed. At that Axel knelt and leaned in real close and whispered.
"You only ever wanted to know why. Why did I choose you?"
"Yes," Roxas whispered back in paralyzed fear.
"I chose you, because I needed you."
"Why?"
"Because," Axel let out a simple chuckle. "Because you needed me."
"I didn't need you," Roxas cautiously shook his head.
"Yes, you did. You needed to help me. And you did."
"Help you with what?" Roxas trembled in anxiety.
"The ultimate kill. It's easy to kill a stranger, or better yet, an enemy. But to kill someone you grew to know, it's the ultimate challenge."
"What?" Roxas didn't understand.
"I have killed all sorts of people for all sorts of reasons, but never for this. Never have I ever invested so much time to get to know someone, to bond and connect with someone, to do everything in my power to keep someone alive against all odds. Against all thought of reason, against all that anyone would believe, but for the sheer investment of creating a relationship with someone I knew I'd end up killing one day. You see," Axel sat down to be eye level with Roxas. "From the day I saw you, I knew I'd kill you. But I wanted to prove to myself just how far I've gotten. I wanted to prove to everyone just how much of a monster I've become. I can feign affection and play the role of the savior and boyfriend so well, that no one would have guessed my alternative motive. From day one, I wanted you, so I could kill you." Axel stood up with a malicious grin.
"No," Roxas shook his head as he refused to believe something so cruel.
"Roxas Strife, I hereby sentence you to death."
"No," Roxas shook his head.
"Thank you," Axel winked.
"For what?" Roxas couldn't imagine.
"Killing Loneliness with me." Axel said before he swung his mighty sword down onto Roxas' body.
"NO!" Roxas screamed himself into being awake.
"Roxas?" Axel sat up in an alerted disturbance.
"No!" Roxas yelled again as he backed up off of the bed.
"Roxas, what's wrong?" Axel turned on his desk lamp.
"Stay away from me," Roxas cried as his mind couldn't shake off the terrible images of his nightmare.
"Roxas, what's gotten into you?" Axel neared the blonde.
"I saw," Roxas cried.
"Saw what?"
"What you did to those people." Roxas looked up and into Axel's confused eyes.
"What people?" Axel was lost.
"The people in the factory," Roxas sniffled.
"Roxas, I have no idea what you're talking about baby,"
"You butchered them! Like animals." Roxas tried to forget, but he just couldn't.
"Roxas, you had a bad nightmare. Let's just go back to bed."
"Admit it Axel, you've done things like that before." Roxas blinked the last of his tears. "You said so yourself, you've done worse things that the murderer in the movie."
"I have no idea what you dreamt about, so I can't really say."
"You killed men and women, with a sword and a chainsaw! You chased them down as they crawled helpless on the floor! You slaughtered them with a smile on your face," Roxas whispered in fear.
"It was a nightmare." Axel repeated.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you've never done anything like that before." Roxas put on a brave face.
"I warned you Roxas, I've done terrible things."
"If you could do that, surely you can do the rest," Roxas thought to himself.
"The rest?"
"Tell me Axel, why did you choose me?" Roxas panted as his adrenaline rose.
"Roxas," Axel sighed.
"You told me in the dream. You told me and then killed me. Tell me the truth and tell me now." Roxas became spiteful.
"I told you, I was bored. I wanted a new toy. You're a beautiful toy and I'm a man with a hunger. Nothing more, my dear." Axel said so simply, Roxas wondered how much of it he could believe.
"You told me you only picked me so that you could get to know me. So that you could later kill me to prove to yourself and everyone else that you really are a heartless monster," Roxas said, to see Axel's reaction.
"That's absurd." Axel shook his head.
"Is it? You've done things I couldn't even survive in my dream. You're a monster."
"So, now what?" Axel asked with a nervous laugh. "Does that end our relationship? Some nightmare you had?"
"It wasn't just some nightmare Axel, you said so yourself, you've done those things before."
"I've never killed you, nor do I ever intend to."
"Unless Xemnas orders it." Roxas corrected the redhead.
"Look, that's never going to happen, and honestly," Axel paused to think. "I don't think I could."
"You said you would."
"I don't want to think about it." Axel shook his head as he stood up.
"Why not?"
"Cause," Axel headed back for bed.
"Tell me," Roxas insisted.
"Because I don't want to imagine a life without you." Axel shrugged sheepishly.
"You mean it?" Roxas wasn't sure if he believed it or not, but he needed to stay on Axel's good side, and he needed hope for some sort of survival.
"Yeah," Axel bit his lip. "I do."
"Can we go to bed? I feel so tired, and I don't want to have another nightmare." Roxas sighed away as much of the stress as he could.
"Sure babe, come one, I'll hold you." Axel invited Roxas into the warm plush blankets.
"Axel, please, promise me there are no more tricks." Roxas needed to hear it even if he wasn't sure if he believed it.
"I promise." Axel said before he fell asleep. Roxas on the other hand stayed up crying silently all night, unable to fall asleep after the horrid nightmare he had.
Author's Note: Thank you everyone for your patience, I'm so excited for all of the stories I've been working on that it's hard to get back to the current stories. Anyway, so now we get some more insight into what Axel's experienced, but buckle up, it's just getting started! Love you all so much!
For anyone who doesn't mind (T)incest, I have posted a new story A Good Other, a Soroku. It's about Sora and Roxas (Twins) who are dating and move with their two older brothers (Leon and Cloud). Their new school is run by gangs and Seifer happens to be their new enemy. Roxas wants to protect Sora, but the brunette is opposed to gangs and fighting. Roxas knows what he has to do, but the only ones who understand are two other twins, Axel and Reno, with something in common. It does have heavy incest, and it is a pretty rough story all around, but such is my style lol. Thank you all for reading!
Living Legacy, Silent Sacrifice, Sarabellum
