I had the first part of this written and then when it was time to write the second part...blank. I came up completely blank. I blame writers block, it's terrible for both the writer and readers. I'm sorry, hopefully next chapter won't take too long. Please excuse any mistakes cause my Beta is having computer problems and I have no idea when it will be fixed. I miss her :(
I want to say that I love all my readers and reviewers!
Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight. FML
Edward (POV)
She…she…Bella fainted.
As soon as she processed my words, Bella's body went limp and she fell to the floor with a big thump. I would have caught her if I wasn't so stunned. I either expected her to understand or yell at me, but not faint. I quickly rushed to her side and pulled her into my arms. Bella's beautiful face was calm and she looked like she was sleeping. I gently shook her but her head just bobbled, leaving me feeling guilty for telling her anything. I needed to learn to keep my stupid mouth shut. Although I was hesitant to leave her, I decided that shaking her would only cause her head trauma. I put her down gently, got up, and rushed to the restroom. Turning on the faucet, I cupped my hands together and put them under the water so that I could use my hands as a bowl. When my hands were filled up, I left the restroom, and being careful not to spill anything, went to Bella.
I stood over her, wary of what I was about to do, but I had to; there was nothing else I could do. Letting out a large gust of air, I dropped the water onto Bella's face.
Please don't hurt me, love
Her eyes immediately opened as soon as the water hit her face. She sat up, her eyes searching the room as she breathed heavily.
"Bella, it's me. I'm so sorry, but you fainted and I didn't know what else to do," I explained, my words coming out so fast I doubted that she understood them.
Bella squinted her eyes, trying to see through the water that ran down her face. Using her hands, she rubbed her face and neck to wipe away the water. "Fuck," she muttered, blinking rapidly.
I kneeled down and grabbed her hand. She looked at me, but didn't say a word, she merely stared in concentration. "Are you okay, love?" I whispered, worried that me talking would just make her faint again.
"I'm wet," she stated. I couldn't help but chuckle, but I stopped immediately when she glared at me. "Can you tell me why I'm wet?" she asked in a harsh whisper.
"Um, you fainted because of what I said so the only thing I could do to wake you up was to get some water and…yea," I ended awkwardly.
"What could you possibly say to make me faint…oh…oh! I remember now!" Bella's eyes widened when everything seemed to have come back to her. "Fuck me," she muttered, "oh wait, you won't."
I frowned. "I'm sorry Bella, I never should have said – "
Bella put her fingers to my lip to stop me from speaking further. She sighed, dropped her fingers from my lips, and scratched her head. "Sorry about that – I didn't mean to be a bitch. Even though I don't like it, I will stick to your decision, no matter how much it kills me. Just know that if I die of sexual frustration you will have no one to blame but yourself, you ass."
"So you're okay with waiting?" I wanted to make sure. I couldn't even begin to understand how hard this was going to be for her, and the fact that she was willing to wait showed how much she loved me.
She sighed. "Yes I am. This is what love does to me – makes me fucking crazy."
I couldn't control myself when I pulled her into a passionate kiss. Our lips met, and we being our impatient selves, our tongues came not too far behind. I would never tire of her taste, of the sensation of our lips in sync. We continued to make-out like teenagers when Bella gently pushed me away. Worried that I did something wrong, I asked her if everything was okay. "Yea, but if we continue kissing like that I may tie you down and have my way with you against you will."
I gulped as a rush of blood went into my member as thoughts of Bella tying me down filled my head.
It was then that I realized that waiting was going to be harder than I thought.
8~*~8
"Jasper, can I talk to you?" I asked as I entered his room in Bella's house. When I walked in, Jasper was sitting at the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, and his arms resting on his knees.
"I am tired of talk that comes to nothing," Jasper muttered, quoting Chief Joseph. Sighing, I sat next to him on the bed, deciding to patiently wait, but waiting grew old after awhile. Jasper was in pain, that I could understand, and it was easy to see that the separation from Alice was severely hurting him. The thing he needed to understand was that sitting here wouldn't fix their problems, nor would it bring them back together any sooner.
"I get that Alice hurt you with her accusations," I said quietly, "but that doesn't mean you had the right to hurt her that way. Jasper…you have no idea how much – how badly she wants to get married. And this whole separation thing, well, it's safe to say it's hurting the both of you. Instead of just waiting here, talk to her. That's the only way things will get fixed and then you can go back to being happy together."
He didn't respond. He just sat there, unmoving. Truthfully he was getting on my nerves, mostly because he wasn't responding.
So I said, "There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved." I quoted George Sand in hopes that it would get a reaction out of him. Jasper dropped his hands from his face and looked up, his eyes meeting my own. It was obvious that Jasper was also struggling because his face was covered in facial hair; the bags under his eyes made him look older than he was, and his face held wrinkles caused by frowning deeply.
"I'll talk to her," he said, determination filling his tired features. I smiled because he was finally going to do something. Alice needed Jasper to be happy and I needed Alice to be happy, meaning I needed Jasper to do something, but I would have to let him know that he could never hurt my sister that way again. I wouldn't stand for it.
"Good, but I have still have to talk to you if you're going to continue your relationship with my sister."
8~*~8
Bella (POV)
"Alice, open the fucking door woman! I know your ass is in there!" I shouted as I banged on Alice's apartment door. After a couple of more seconds of banging, Alice opened the door looking fearful.
"Hello," she said quietly. She let me into her apartment, which wasn't too shabby, and I marched in cause I was on a fucking mission. I paced their living room as I tried my best to sort out my thoughts, but that didn't work out so well.
"YOU PUNCHED ME! YOU FUCKING PUNCHED ME! WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT?" I screamed, my face growing hot as every word poured out of my mouth. "Seriously Alice, how could you fucking think I would sleep with Jasper? Not only would that be gross, but I would never do that to you. We've been friends for so long and it hurts that you could actually think those things about me and him. Jebus, where was the fucking trust!"
After I was finished with my rant, Alice grabbed my hand and led me to a black couch. We sat down, and eventually, after a lot of staring into space, we spilled our guts, our fears, and the misunderstanding that threatened to tear us apart. In the end, Alice was crying and we were holding each other. I'm telling you, my life is turning into a Lifetime movie, damn it.
We broke out of our hug and returned to sitting comfortably on the couch, facing each other.
"So now that everything is sort of back to normal I can seriously use that girly brain of yours. I would have gone to Jasper but he is worthless," I explained.
Alice used her hands to wipe away the tears that remained on her bony cheeks. "What's wrong with Jasper?" she asked quietly, but her voice was filled with curiosity and worry. I realized then that they had basically had no contact with each other. I seriously wondered how they survived the whole separation thing. Jasper and Alice were never apart for too long, and when they were, they would call and text each other whenever they could. It use to annoy me, but that was because I didn't realize how much you could miss a person, how much you could need someone in your life. Edward showed me that.
"Oh, you know… He's just an emo mess, nothing big." Her eyes visibly widened at my words. I'm guessing she thought she was the only one suffering from the breakup. I could tell she wanted to go more into it but I'm selfish and I wanted to talk about me damn it! I really needed Alice to help me out, cause fuck, I needed another opinion. I needed someone to give it to me straight, and Alice was the only person I had right now. "Edward dropped a huge bombshell on me!"
Alice face transformed into one of pure happiness. She clapped as she bounced in her seat, her eyes shined as her grin grew. "He asked you to marry him! Oh my fucking… wait…Did you say yes? Please tell me you did! Oh my, can I plan your wedding! We can go shopping for your dress and –"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa…. Whoa. He did not ask me to marry him. Holy fuck, I would be in a fucking coma or some shit if he did."
Alice's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, her eyes held sadness, as she leaned forward a little. "Do you not want to marry my brother?" she asked, her voice sounding distressed.
I stared at her… for what felt like years, because that's just how baffled I was. Did I want to marry him? Did I want to get married at all? When Edward said he wanted to wait to have sex until we're married, well that kind of implied that we'd get married someday, but did I want that kind of commitment? Marriage is fucking huge – a big deal that should be taken seriously, but I had never actually seen a good marriage.
My parents had a good marriage, but looked what happened! After my dad died, things went to shit – my mom went crazy. Sure, she remarried again, but the guy is a total dick with a stupid job. A baseball player! Are you fucking kidding me with that? He isn't even good.
So was it possible for me to have a good marriage? A happy, fulfilling one filled with love and days worth cherishing? I didn't know.
"I don't know," I admitted.
Alice frowned. "You love him, right?"
"Yes," I answered quickly. I knew I loved him, that wasn't the problem.
"Then why wouldn't you want to marry him?" she asked, not understanding my dilemma.
"Marriage just doesn't seem like a good idea for me. I mean what if I do something to fuck it all up and we get a divorce? I couldn't live with myself if I wasted Edward's time and life."
Alice grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "Don't think like that, Bella or I'll beat you!" She laughed. "Marriage is a beautiful thing and it's even more awesome when it's strong and filled with love. Just because you haven't had the best experiences doesn't mean that you can't have a good future with Edward. And besides, as soon as you guys say 'I do' you can fuck all you want."
I laughed as I punched her hard on her arm. "I've missed you."
She smiled as she rubbed her red arm. "I've missed you, too."
Going back to the original topic, I asked, "So what do I do if he asks."
Alice sighed, her eyes brows furrowed, her mind deep in thought. "Well, as much as I hate to say this, if he does ask you to marry him, don't say yes."
I stared at her in shock, my mind blown away. "You want me to say no," I stated slowly, my mouth said the words, but it didn't feel right, the whole 'no' thing.
"Yup," she said, no doubt in her voice, but I continued to stare at her in confusion. Alice noticed and rolled her eyes. "Bella, it wouldn't be right for you to say yes if you had so much doubt – it was just hurt Edward and you more in the long run. When he asks, and I know he will one day, you need to be absolutely sure. Because if you say yes, and you regret it…." Her voice trailed off, but I understood where she was headed.
I had one thought running through my head over and over again.
How could I regret spending the rest of my life with Edward?
8~*~8
"We're home!" I shouted as me and Alice walked into my house. Alice walked timidly behind me, because she wasn't sure if she would be welcome here – with Jasper here and all. You have no fucking idea how hard it was for me to convince her to come here, but I needed her to do something. Jasper and Alice weren't going anywhere and they were meant for each other so I'd be damned if I didn't push her to do something about this whole misunderstanding. Besides, Jasper's depression was starting to get to me and I hated being depressed.
Emmett didn't move from the couch, he merely grunted in response as he mindlessly flipped through TV channels. Emmett was obviously not in the best of moods. He is turning into such a PMS-ing chick. Emmett was another problem, but his issue wasn't as easy to fix. I know what he needed, what he wanted, but I was too selfish to give it to him.
Edward and Jasper did walk over to us, but Jasper stopped abruptly, surprised to see Alice. He was certainly not expecting her.
They stared intently into each other's eyes, while Edward and I stood around awkwardly, watching their silent conversation. Moments later Jasper and Alice where in each other's arms, embracing like they hadn't seen each other in years. Smiling, I went over to Edward, grabbed his hand, and led him to our bedroom. That's right, our bedroom. It was practically his since he was in there so much.
"Let's give them some privacy," I explained as we went up the stairs. Then we were in our bed, our arms around each other as we cuddled on the bed. Only in his embrace did I really feel like I was home, that I was safe and loved. "Edward?"
"Yes?" he whispered, humming in contentment as I rested my head on the crook of his neck. I was about to take a big step in our relationship, but I couldn't find it in myself to be scared or nervous mostly because I didn't do nervous, confidence was something I was comfortable with, but Edward brought out so many emotions inside me, some bad and some good.
"I want you to move in with me." I decided that I needed to know what it would be like if we lived together, because married couples live together. I wanted to know what it would be like going to sleep with him, and waking up to him every day. I wanted to know all his quirks: did he need his socks in a certain way; did his toothpaste need to point north, or what?
"Really?" he said, trying to hide his excitement. He moved us so he could look into my eyes. His green eyes always left me breathless, but I would never admit it. They were just so green and bright, and they shined every time he smiled.
"Yup, and besides, my man shouldn't live with his sister if he has a girlfriend with this big house, and a lonely bed that gets cold when he's not in it." I smiled as his beautiful crooked smile appeared. Damn, my man was so gorgeous and he didn't even know it.
He kissed me with so much passion that I felt I would combust if we didn't stop for air. We were both smiling like idiots as we continued to cuddle until we fell asleep.
Sure it wasn't sex, but I must admit that cuddling isn't so bad.
Oh fuck, who am I kidding? Cuddling is the bomb.
8~*~8
Mystery (POV)
So she's moving the boyfriend in, eh?
I saw as they brought in his stuff into her house, they were both smiling like the little fuckers they were. The boyfriend might be an additional problem for me. It's bad enough she has a fucking rhino for a brother. Also she has those friends of hers that never seem to leave.
I needed that bitch alone.
8~*~8
Bella (POV)
Alice and Jasper walked up to Edward and I. We were currently in each other's arms, lying down on the couch, watching television. We had moved Edward in and everything was great. Sure, there were things that bugged me, like the way he was so neat while I liked to be a little messy, and how his nightly routine clashed with mine, but overall he was worth it. The good greatly outweighed the bad.
I asked them what was up, since they were both smiling so hard. Well they've been smiling every since they got back together, and they've been inseparable since. Jasper finally got the fuck out of my house and was now living with Alice. I still had a moping Emmett, but I wasn't sure what to do with him.
"Well, I got you a little something to thank you for forgiving me," Alice said happily.
I jumped up from Edward's arms and immediately asked for my gift. They all laughed at my excitement, but I could tell they were secretly jealous because they weren't getting anything. I loved presents and my birthday and Christmas were so far away. "Give it to me!" I demanded. She handed me a box and it felt heavy! Everyone knows that heavy gifts are the best gifts. I opened the box and looked inside. "Alice?"
"Yes, Bella?" she replied, bouncing in place.
"What the fuck is Twilight?"
Haha, I had to add that.
So no one has theories to who the mystery person is? Hmmm...
I hope you guys realize that Bella fainting to what Edward said was actually kind of realistic. Sex was and will be a major part of her life, and when it's suddenly taken away from you...well the results can be tragic. lol
I WANT TO RANT about something that bugs the fuck out of me. I want to rant about HATERS. They annoy me. A couple of days ago an email was sent to me with a link, a very close friend sent this to me. It was a blog page showing how much they hate all 3 Twilight girls. My friend was deeply annoyed by this so she sent it to me. When I looked at the page - and now I really wish I didn't - I found that there was so much hate by catty girls to Kristen Stewart, Ashley Greene, and Nikki Reed. First I have to say that who ever created this blog is stupid and has problems. If you hate them so much forget about them! Why would you want to have them in your life if you hate them? Let's say you hate...I don't know...Lady Gaga! You hate her so your not gonna look her up on YouTube right? No you aren't cause you fucking hate her so why would you want to contribute to one of her videos? Exactly. The comments and post were absolutely terrible and I wish that neither of these girls read it because if I were them this blog would break my heart. You know how they say us girls got to stick together? Well that is bullshit. It's sad to say that we can be such bitches to each other. Girls can be mean, hurtful, jealous, envious, and all these other bad things. We're human so it's sort of expected, but come on people. I understand that you don't have to like them, but hate? YOU DON'T KNOW THEM SO HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU HATE SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW! And no, watching interviews and their movies does not mean you know them. If your one of these people who have a blog who hates on someone or a twitter, a facebook, a myspace, or something else, I have to ask WHY? IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THEM! I admit, I don't like all of them, but I don't hate any of them because I don't know them personally. I just want people to realize by posting Blogs on how much they hate these girls just shows how stupid THEY are and how horrible people can be. The Twilight girls don't need their haters. Why? Cause they make so much money and they have billions of fans who DO like them. So really, just stop with the hate - it's pointless and bad for the soul.
Please excuse my rant but I had to let it out. Cuss me out all you want, or you can agree with me, whichever is fine.
