Engagement 28: Reverence

Setting Catherine's rifle down in the corner of the second story room she'd been using as a nest, Marina paused for a moment to look the weapon over. She may not have cared about whose weapon she fired, but she did care about whose weapon she inherited. Catherine had been in command of the platoon since before the war broke out, and now she was dead. The leader who'd always known what to do and how to do it was gone, and her rifle was passed on to a lowly corporal who'd never wanted the job in the first place. Unfortunately, whether she knew what to do with it or not the rifle was hers, and there was nothing she could say or do to change that.

Tearing her gaze away from the rifle, Marina scanned the floor of the room. Six new shells littered the floor around the three she'd expended killing the two Imperials earlier in the day. What hurt almost as much as looking at Catherine's rifle in the corner or the three shells from before was knowing that for the six cartridges next to them there was a grand total of zero enemy combatants added to the body count. With her boot, Marina nudged one of the casings at her feet and watched as it rolled across the room in a large semicircle. Branded for a kill or damned for a miss. Kicking the rest of the shells across the room, she listened to the brass objects clink as they struck the walls. When all of them came to a stop she couldn't tell which of them had been a miss and which had struck its target. At this point it shouldn't have mattered anyway. Probably never had in the first place.

With the shells taken care of Marina turned back towards Catherine's rifle. In a way it was only fitting that she was the one who ended up picking up the older woman's weapon. The other snipers seemed to keep a nonchalant attitude about their work. It was easy for Cezary, seeing as the man didn't give a shit about anything other than himself. The Bielert twins were a wonder though – Emile especially. Squad 7 may have had one of the heaviest casualty rates so far in the war, but they'd dished out more than their fair share of kills in trade, and since she'd put her rifle down Marina was sure that Emile had begun to catch up with her body count if he hadn't passed it already. The kid knew how to work a rifle, and the job never seemed to bother him. Oscar probably had a lot to do with that. Marina imagined that fighting would be easier to bear with family close by. She wished them the best.

Catherine herself was different though. Being the most experienced shooter of the bunch, the Staff Sergeant had carried a weight about her when she didn't have her rifle shouldered and aimed downfield. For a job she'd held on and off for the past twenty years she didn't seem to get much enjoyment out of it, and for a woman who didn't seem to enjoy what she was doing she did everything she could possibly do to make sure she did a damn good job of it. Her work was finished now, but her rifle's wasn't. The rifle could still kill, and so could the woman carrying it. Catherine would probably roll over in her grave if she could ever have found out whose hands it was in, though. While O'Hara had never vocalized any distaste, Marina was pretty sure that if the woman had made a list of people she genuinely liked and respected within the Squad she'd find her name pretty close to the bottom. Catherine's whole schtik was about watching her buddies' backs. Taking care of her friends. Marina had made it more than clear that she didn't have any. She didn't need friends to be able to pull a trigger, and as far as she was concerned that was all her job description had required – at least until Barious.

Now she stood alone in a second floor room of a shot up building in a city she never cared about in the first place staring at a dead woman's rifle with a platoon of grunts depending on her to lead. People. Every one of them happy being dependent on someone. On her. Nobody could stand up and do something for themselves. "Fuck it all."

"That you, Wulfstan?" There was a knock on the door, and a moment later it swung open to reveal Karl poking his head around the edge of the frame. He gave a quick sigh of relief as his eyes found the sniper standing near the entrance. "Thought I heard you. I've been looking for you."

"Yeah, well," she said turning away from the weapon in the corner, "I guess you found me."

"I guess so." Stepping into the room, Karl noticed the gun. Everyone seemed to have taken a hit at Catherine's death, but he was glad the weapon in front of him wasn't a Mags. "Is that her rifle?" Marina didn't answer. "I guess it has to be," he continued. "I almost thought she'd be in command for the rest of the war. I mean, she survived the first one, right? For some reason I thought that gave her a pass here. That she couldn't—"

"What do you need, Landzaat?"

Karl's own gaze was taken from the rifle. Looking away quickly he instinctively balled his hands into fists. "Oh, right. I just wanted to let you know that we've only got about an hour's worth of light left. Just in case that changed anything."

Marina looked down at her watch. "That late already?"

"Yeah." The disappointment on Karl's face was clear. They'd hoped to have been relieved by then. Maybe more importantly, he'd hoped to have found Lynn. Neither had happened. "I'll… I'll go tell everyone to hold tight. The Squad might just have gotten held up. I'll make sure everyone knows to hold tight."

"Wait," Marina said before Karl had disappeared around the frame of the door. For a long second she stood with one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead. This is ridiculous. Pulling her hand away from her eyes she took a long look at the shells on the floor before focusing back on Catherine's rifle in the corner. Nobody was coming to save them. They'd have to do it themselves. "Gather the platoon. Leave Stijnen and the .30 to cover the front of the building along with Clement. Keep Kissinger and Howard in the back. I want everyone else assembled in the common room in five."

"Sure thing."

"Also, tell Regard I want to talk to him. He knows where I am."

"Anything else?"

Marina shook her head. That was Karl's cue to leave. The woman was glad she'd been able to block his way too far into the room. As he walked out, she turned towards the desk she'd been using to support Catherine's rifle. Picking up the colorful piece of paper that lay on it, Marina held it up in front of her. For a moment the casings on the floor seemed less empty and the weapon in the corner less burdensome. She almost smiled, but another knock on the door cut that emotion short. "Heard you were looking for me."

Quickly folding the paper, Marina shoved it into her breast pocket before turning to face the voice. "Unfortunately."

"Unfortunately for you or unfortunately for me?"

"How sure are you that we can fix the equipment here?" she asked, ignoring the quip.

"As I've said, the equipment itself is fine." Once again, Cezary stepped into the room and dropped himself into an open chair. "At least, that's what the engineers said. If we fix the wire, we solve the problem."

"How sure?"

"Positive."

Moving over him, Marina placed one hand on the arm of Cezary's chair and glared down. "I don't want bullshit, Regard. How sure are you?"

Breaking eye contact, Cezary licked his lips. "50/50," he admitted. "It either works or it doesn't."

"That's not how statistics work."

"Fine. I don't know. We can fix the break here, but if there's another cut further up the line there's not much we can do about it."

"And it won't work?"

Cezary shook his head. "No."

Stepping back, Marina ran her fingers through her hair. She got a full view of the room before her bangs fell back in front of her eyes. "How many people are going to know that?" she asked.

"Probably anyone trained in radio operations," Cezary said shifting in the seat. "That's at least Clement and Nadine."

"Clement will be upstairs with Stijnen and Nadine won't bitch. Anyone else?"

"Well… I was able to figure it out, right?"

"So the radio operators and anyone who stops to think it through?"

Cezary laughed. "Well, not anyone. I mean, you were mulling it over almost all day and it never occurred to you. Then again, there aren't any numbers involved here so I'm really not surprised."

"Alright." Again, she ignored his insults. "It's our only option. We'll have to lay it down like it's a guarantee and hope it sticks."

"Uh… No," Cezary said as he stood up and trust a finger into Marina's chest rig. The impact made her sway. "You're going to have to lay it down. I'm just a Private. You're filling a Staff Sergeant's boots, and the only living person here with seniority over you is down for the count. Unless you want her to lay it down. See how well that sticks."

"I can do it just fine by myself."

"I hope so." Grabbing his own rifle from off of the desk, Cezary began making his way to the door. "You have everything down, right?"

"I know the plan." Why was everyone so irritating? Cezary was a dick, that was for sure, but the thought of having to go downstairs and deal with the rest of the platoon turned her stomach over. Things were so much easier when she didn't have to hold everyone's hand. She couldn't take much more. "Hey," Marina said, stopping Cezary just outside of the doorframe. "Do you…" She had to swallow before she could finish the sentence. "Do you have any gum?"

Looking her in the face, Cezary laughed before shaking his head no. "You know I tried myself once," he said after regaining his composure.

"How'd that work out for you?"

"It didn't."

Marina was left alone again as Cezary stepped out of sight. The solitude didn't comfort her this time. Instead, the empty casings on the floor seemed to glitter in the sunlight that poured in through the windows. One way or another they were going to fight, and one way or another she was going to have to lead them. Marina stared down at the rifle in the corner of the room. The rifle stared back. Shaking her head, she picked up her own gun and walked through the doorway, leaving Catherine's weapon behind.

Walking into the first floor common room Marina could see that she was the last one there. Thirteen sets of eyes watched her as she stepped into the room and moved towards the back wall. At least she wouldn't have to wait for any stragglers. When she had everyone in front of her, she set her weapon down and rested her now free hand on the grip of the handgun at her thigh. Might as well get this over with. "We can't wait any longer," she said bluntly.

For what seemed like a minute the assembly in front of her just stared back. From behind her bangs, Marina felt their eyes cut into her – every one of them focused on every movement the woman made. Steadying her hand on the handgun, she had to make sure they couldn't see it shake. Just when she thought they were going to stare her down forever, one of the Gallians spoke up. "What exactly do we want to do?" Mica asked. "It's not like we can just walk out. Unless we surrender – not that that would be a bad idea…"

"No, we're not surrendering," Marina said. "We can't break through on our own, so we need a way to make help come to us. The sun is setting in about an hour. If the Imps are smart they'll hit us in force in the changing light."

Swinging his shoulder, Hannes readjusted the Mags strapped to him. "That's not much time. We can kill a lot of them, but I don't know about calling help."

"It shouldn't be too difficult. The radio equipment here still works. We just need to fix the wire they were using to make their connection. Any engineer should be able to do it. Fix it up and we're good to go. We'll try to call in the rest of the Squad or whoever's closest and see what we can do about getting a balloon or two overhead. Everyone else just needs to hold off the assault while the engineer works."

"Um… Hold off all of them?" With her head lowered, Audrey had to glance up to keep her eyes on the sniper at the wall.

"Yeah. Is that a problem?" Since when did 'hold off the assault' mean it was alright to let some of them through? Every moment wasted explaining such obvious things was like a shot in the gut. Just standing up there was like being stabbed.

In her long, drawn out voice, Elysse mumbled a low string of words. When she'd finished, the look on her face wasn't very encouraging. "They have a Leopard out there…"

"And?"

Elysse and Audrey shared a sideways glance. "We're not equipped to deal with heavy tanks," Audrey said.

Marina rolled her eyes. It was unlikely anyone else had seen it behind her bangs. "So slow it down."

"We can't hold it for long."

"You shouldn't have to as long as the engineer gets the job done right." Glancing over, Marina took a quick look at Cezary in the other corner of the room. He was probably thinking the same thing she was. It had better work. Elysse and Audrey didn't look too happy with the response either, but that was as good as Marina could think up at the moment. Unfortunately, the girls were young and relatively new as replacements. They didn't realize the damage their misgivings had done to the rest of the platoon's confidence.

"I'll keep it held back," Hector said confidently. His tone raised a head or two, but nobody seemed particularly happy about the situation.

Nodding, Marina figured it would be best to move on before everyone got hung up on the tank. "Then that just leaves the wire. Most of the enemy forces are around the back of the building, so we'll keep the heavy fighting out there. The wire is cut out front though. We'll keep a fireteam up front along with a sniper to cover the worker."

Nadine shifted uncomfortably next to Ramona's stretcher. "The person working on the wire is going to be exposed then?"

"It's the only way to fix the wire. The cut is a little ways down the street, but as long as the fireteam and sniper give adequate covering fire the engineer doing the work should be fine."

"Alright," Nadine said closing her eyes. "Can I volunteer for that?"

Marina sighed in relief. Nadine was sure to know the risk involved and the possibility that the plan would fail. Having her support was just short of a blessing. "You've got it. Make sure you've got all of your gear ready and—"

"Hold up," Mina interrupted. Walking over, the medic grabbed Nadine's hand and examined her finger. "Can you even work the tools?"

"Why wouldn't she be able to?"

"Her finger's broken. Got smashed in the .30."

"I'm fine," Nadine said pulling her hand away. "I've still got nine other working fingers. I can still—"

"No." Marina didn't want anyone who might have trouble handling the wire going anywhere near it. That excluded Nadine. Of course things couldn't have been that easy. Not when she had to rely on someone else. "As long as you can still shoot I want you firing, but I don't want you trying to mess with your tools and end up screwing everything up."

"But I…"

"Don't argue."

Nadine dropped her head. "Yes sir…"

That left the other three engineers in the room – Karl, Claudia, and Herbert. For a moment Marina hoped that one of them would volunteer. She wasn't surprised when none of them jumped at the opportunity. That left it up to her. Taking a deep breath, Marina tried to think things through. The eyes dug through her mind and killed any thought that even thought of trying to do something productive. Focus. Karl was acting Platoon Sergeant. Pulling him out of the fight would kick Cherry up to the position. There was no way Marina was going to consciously put that stupid bitch in any real position of power. Claudia tried the hard… The eyes cut through her again. They seemed to scan every inch of her body in the silence of the room as she weighed the options. Distracted… Claudia tried the hardest, but she was also the newest replacement among the engineers. Every project she touched still seemed to fall apart. Who knew what would happen if she tried to fix that wire. She was out. That left… "Nielson. Pack your gear. Make sure you've got everything you need to solder it back together. Your rifle will slow you down, so take Linton's handgun with…" Marina's voice trailed off. Through her bangs she could see that Herbert wasn't looking at her. He sat with his head down and his hands on his lap. He didn't seem to be overly concerned about what she was telling him. "Nielson?" The man didn't look up. "Herbert, are you listening to me?"

"No."

Marina shifted her bangs away from her right eye. With the hair out of the way she could clearly see the engineer. He still sat as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "No as in 'no, I'm not listening to you'?"

"No," he said. "No as in 'I'm not doing it.'"

Marina didn't have to take her eyes off of the engineer to know that everyone was watching. She hated large groups of people blabbering, but their silence unnerved her. Nobody had ever spoken back to O'Hara. When she'd given an order the only words she ever got back were 'yes' and 'sir', and even when she wasn't around those speaking would refer to her as 'ma'am'. If Marina didn't set a precedent from the get-go the only titles she'd ever be referred to as in the near future would start with a 'b' and a 'c'. It was probably already too late for that, but she at least needed people to follow orders when she dealt them. "Stand up."

"No."

"Stand up, Nielson."

"No."

Pushing herself off of the wall, Marina walked over to where Herbert was sitting. Taking her hand off of the handgun, she grabbed him by the scruff of his uniform and pulled him up. "We don't have time for this. Grab your gear and get ready to go."

Now standing, Herbert sagged his shoulders. "I told you, I'm not going to do it."

A weak voice came from the far wall. "Herbert, she gave an order," Ramona said. "Follow it."

The engineer didn't bother to look. "Last I heard you were relieved."

"Just do it, Herbert. We need this done."

"I'd rather not."

Ramona tried to say something else, but Marina's voice drown her out. "Nielson, if you don't do this we're not going to last the night. We don't have the ammo or man power. Now pack your shit and get out there."

Herbert stirred for a moment before settling back into his catatonic stance. "Get somebody else to do it."

Getting somebody else to do the job sounded like the greatest idea in the world. Marina looked around the room. As she suspected, the eyes hadn't moved off of her. So many people watching. All she wanted was her little second floor room. She wouldn't mind the shells' company anymore. Even Catherine's rifle would be more welcoming than the blank stares greeting her down here. At that moment she knew she couldn't go back on her decision. She was supposed to lead, and she wasn't going to let some lazy punk grab her by the balls. "If you don't pull yourself together and say, 'yes sir, I'll fix your wire' in the next second and a half I'll take this to the Captain, and I'll personally make sure you're court-martialed."

For a second, Herbert looked like he was about to move. Instead, he merely lifted his head slightly. "Good. I hope I am. It's better than being killed out there and having to work all the time."

"I'm not kidding around, Nielson."

"Neither am I. I don't want to be here. Your plan won't work anyway. We'll all just be shot trying. We should just surrender. I'll bet POWs don't have to work so hard. We could just sit in our cells all day."

"Maybe he's right." Turning towards the voice, Marina saw Mica stepping forward slightly. "I mean… There are a lot of Imperials out there. We don't even know if people are still around to come even if we can fix the radios."

Marina stared in disbelief. They were supposed to have done what she told them. Now two of them were questioning her. To her face. Before she could tear into them, Claudia spoke up. "I guess being a prisoner is better than dying, right?"

"Woah," Ramona said from the floor. "Being a prisoner is totally not cool. I'm not dealing with that. Herbert, please. Just do it."

"I already said no. I'm not changing my mind. Nobody here knows what they're doing anyway. We've gone through three platoon leaders in the past day. I'm tired of this."

Almost frantically, Marina searched around the room for someone who could help. It was impossible to read Ramona's face behind the bandages. Karl was frozen stiff. Cezary was smiling. Goddamn smiling. There wouldn't be any help there. Once again she was left alone. For a moment she was terrified, but then that moment passed. She was alone. Free to do it her way. If Herbert wouldn't comply she'd lose any respect as a leader she'd ever managed to accumulate. Catherine's methods weren't working for her. Maybe Daerden's would. "Herbert," she said, slowly turning her head back towards the man. As she met his gaze her bangs slid back across her face. "I'm ordering you one last time. Gather your equipment and get ready to go."

This time he shook his head. It almost seemed as if the effort visibly strained him. "No."

Marina nodded and dropped her head. "Alright." Wiping her hand across her mouth, she let out a long breath before nodding again. Bringing the hand back down to the grip of her handgun, she drew the weapon and jammed it into the engineer's shoulder. Ignoring the series of gasps that came from the once silent majority of the room, she used her other hand to grab the man by his opposite shoulder. "I'm not going to keep asking."

Lazily, Herbert looked down at the gun pressed against him. For a long moment he took it in before looking back up. "You're not going to scare me," he said.

Marina didn't answer.

"You can take me back and have me court-martialed if you want, but I'm done with this war." Seeing movement, Herbert's eyes were drawn to Marina's thumb as she hit the weapon's safety catch and put her finger on the trigger. If he'd been willing to expend the energy, he would have laughed. "I'm not going."

"Herbert, she'll do it," Mica called out. "That Imperial. She killed that Imperial too."

Marina didn't look. "Shut up Hawkins."

"No. She really did. That man on the roof."

"I said shut up."

"She told him she'd give him some Ragnaid, and when he told her what she wanted to know she slit his throat."

Along with a squeal, Marina could see movement from Ramona's stretcher as the woman hugged her shoulders. While Mina didn't squeal or cringe, her reaction didn't seem too welcoming either. "Hawkins, shut the fuck up!"

Herbert gave forth the effort to let out a slight chuckle. "Why do you always say that?" he asked. "It doesn't make you sound tough. You just sound ignorant."

Marina jabbed the barrel of the gun further into Herbert's shoulder. The eyes were unbearable now, and the sooner the man obeyed the sooner she could get away. "If I have to sound ignorant to get the job done then I will. But I will get the job done. And you're going to help me."

"I already told you to get someone else. I don't want to be here."

"What," Marina balked. "You think I want to be here? You think I don't want to go home? I do, but I can't. At least not until this war ends, and it's not going to end until we do something about it. I don't want to be here and I don't want Catherine's job, but it's been handed to me and I'm not going to cop out of it. If you don't fix that wire a lot of people are going to die here, and I'm not going to let that happen."

"Fine. But you're going to have to fix it yourself, because I don't feel like doing it, and from the sound of things nobody else fit enough to do it really wants to either."

Goddammit, Daerden. "I'm not saying it again." Her palm was sweaty over the grip of the gun.

"You already said that," Herbert said with a yawn. "If you don't surrender and we end up making it back I'll go along with that court-martial thing. I doubt we'll get there though. I mean, you clearly don't know how to deal with people, let alone lead them, and even if you fix that cut in the wire you don't know if it'll save us. If it's broken there then there's no telling where els—"

With a bang the gun jumped in Marina's hand. A second later the expended shell tinkled as it struck the hard floor of the room. Herbert's eyes widened, but the reaction didn't bring any concern with it. Staring at the gun with a look that could have said nothing other than 'she wasn't kidding', he stumbled back before falling to the ground. Marina's own eyes didn't follow him. Instead they stared at the blank spot on the wall that his outline had blocked just moments before. Uh… She hadn't expected it to actually go that far. Subconsciously, she knew that if Daerden could have known what had just happened he'd be laughing his ass off. What now?

Stammering, Ramona clung tighter to her shoulders. "That was a gunshot," she managed. "What happened?"

Without moving her head Marina glanced to her side. Twelve pairs of eyes darted back and forth across the room, their line of vision raping everything they covered.

Nobody who'd watched the exchange was left able to speak. Only the blind woman in the corner rattled on. "Please… What happened?"

Marina had to continue on with the plan, but with so many people staring and the noise the woman was making she couldn't concentrate. Put a stop to that first. "Linton, be quiet."

"I heard a gun. Why did I hear a gun?"

"Just be quiet for a moment, I need to think."

"I need to know what happened."

Closing her eyes, Marina tried to concentrate. Her head was pounding, and every voice that came through was like putting a drill to her head. "Somebody shut her up."

Nobody moved. Desperately, Ramona's voice came in short bursts. "What the fuck just happened?"

The last outpouring was the last she could possibly tolerate and still remain in the room. "Anybody, shut the bitch up!" Quickly, Audrey sprung to her feet. That would take care of that. Now she needed an engineer. At this point she didn't care who it was as long as he or she could work a set of tools. She settled on the first body she laid eyes on. "Landzaat. You're going. Have your gear ready."

Karl stared at the handgun that was still in the sniper's grip. "I…"

"He'll do it," Cezary cut in. Lifting his rifle, he stepped next to the quaking engineer. "I'll make sure of that."

Marina nodded. "Good. Everyone else, you've got 45 minutes to prepare. Make sure you're ready. Get going."

Nobody waited around. Within seconds the last of the platoon had filed out of the room. The only people left were those who couldn't walk out themselves, Marina, and the medic. Stepping over to the unconscious Herbert, Mina pulled out her kit. "Was that really necessary?"

Marina looked at the empty casing on the ground. There was only one this time. Probably not. "Yeah."

Mina glared. "Well I certainly hope so."

"He'll live."

"I know," Mina said, "but I've only got so much equipment in my med-kit, and I don't like it going to waste."

Realizing she was still holding the weapon, Marina slid the handgun back into its holster. When she pulled her hand away from the grip she realized it was still shaking. That's new… "Just patch him up as best you can with what you can spare. It shouldn't take much anyway. If I didn't know he'd fainted I'd think he was sleeping."

"Yeah, well he's not sleeping."

"Yeah." A hollow pit began to form in her stomach. Glancing back at the shell on the floor she felt it widen. "You've got all of your supplies ready, right?"

"All that I've got left, at least," Mina said with a frown. "Yes."

"Good." She had to get out of that room. "I…" In the corner she could see Ramona curled up in a ball. Every so often she heard a sniffle. Swallowing, she turned away from the medic in front of her. "I'll be back. Just uh…" Scrunching her eyes, Marina took a deep breath. "Make sure they're alright."

Walking across the room, Marina looked for the closest door nobody had exited through. Any one of them would do. She didn't care where it led as long as it didn't lead to people. Reaching her unsteady hand into her pocket she searched for a last stick of gum. She already knew she wouldn't find any. Gum wouldn't do the job this time anyway. Opening the nearest door, Marina stepped out of the room, closed it behind her, and threw up all over the bathroom's tile floor.


Next Engagement: State of Love and Trust