Set in Season 1, Early Autumn
"Ranald, I know I've told you this before, but you have to stop drinking as much as you do. It's not good for you at all. You'll kill yourself at this rate." Gaius mixed the medicine the younger man was supposed to take into the water Merlin had started boiling as soon as they got to the shabby hut. Ranald may have been a few decades younger than the court physician, but to Merlin's eyes, he looked much older.
Ranald smiled wearily at the robed man, "But, Gaius, nothing else stops the screams."
Gaius sighed and nodded. "Just try not to start a fight next time. Spending time in the stocks isn't doing you any good."
As they left, Merlin turned and watched the man Gaius had just treated stare longingly at the tankard that was sitting on his table before picking up the leather and needle next to it. He waited until they were a bit down the road before he asked, "Gaius, what did he mean by 'the screams'?"
Gaius shook his head and spoke quietly as they passed other people on the street. "I'll tell you when we get home. We still have Lady Kirdall to see and this is a conversation best had in private."
Dropping off Lady Kirdall's tonic was quickly accomplished and the two men were back at Gaius' chambers within the hour, a simple lunch of bread, cheese, and early apples on the table. Arthur was ensconced in meetings with his father and the Council all day and had given Merlin the day off, which, of course, meant that he was free to do Gaius' bidding all day. Honestly, Merlin didn't mind as long as Gaius didn't have him clean that wretched leech tank. For one thing, Gaius didn't chuck things at his head. He also didn't have to worry that he was going to get so nervous around the king that he dropped something on him. Merlin wasn't ashamed to admit that the king just plain scared him, even after three months of living here in Camelot.
Thinking of being scared made him remember Ranald, the leather-worker Gaius had treated earlier. "Gaius, you told me you'd tell me what was wrong with Ranald."
Gaius looked up at Merlin, his eyes shadowed. "It's not a pretty tale, Merlin, and has everything to do with the Purge."
Merlin was still trying to find his footing in Camelot, the home of the most strident magic-hater he had ever encountered. The Purge was something he wanted to know more about but feared at the same time. Gaius had been parceling out the history of it a bit at a time so he didn't overwhelm the warlock. Merlin nodded. "If I'm to really be your apprentice and not just a placeholder, then this might be something I need to know. How else will I treat Ranald if I don't know what the problem might be?"
"Very well." Gaius took a long drink of his barley water, as if to steady his own nerves. "Ranald was once a guard. He was a damned good one. Frankly, if he was noble, he would have been knighted by Uther." Merlin started at that. He was used to hearing nothing but disdain from Uther about the common folk. "When the Purge happened, Ranald was at least on his way to becoming Captain of the Guard. He had even saved Uther from bandits once when the king was out riding with some of his knights and guard. Only Ranald and Sir Ector survived that encounter after saving Uther.
"The Purge changed it all for Ranald. He was happily married with a little son and another on the way when it started. His wife gave birth to their second child a few months after Arthur was born. Then a sickness hit Camelot. It was an ague, normal for the winter, but it took a lot of people, including Ranald's two children. The King and Council blamed the Druids. It was so soon after the Purge started that I didn't dare object too strenuously. I was still under suspicion by the Council." Gaius shook his head. "I wonder if I had taken the risk to say more of it being a natural thing, if fate would have been different, but-"
"I doubt the king would have listened to you."
"You're probably right, but I still have to wonder. Anyway, back to Ranald. I wasn't able to save his sons. He and his wife were devastated. She just drifted away. She may have only died a few years ago, but really, the life left her twenty years ago. They never had any other children. As retribution for the Druids supposedly sending the sickness to Camelot, Uther ordered an attack on one of the Druid villages that hadn't broken up yet. They were just starting to hide in camps in the forests. Ranald led the guards on the attack. Sir Ector led the knights. Ector told me that he found Ranald after the slaughter, because that's what it was, holding an infant's body. Ranald had been the one to kill the babe. This, so soon after his own children died, broke him. Ector got him back to Camelot but Ranald turned in his resignation from the guard shortly afterward. He just couldn't do it anymore. The guilt was killing him."
Gaius took another drink. He shook his head as if to rid himself of sad memories before he continued. "Ranald's father was still alive and took him back into the family business, leatherworking. But it was really too late. Ranald drinks to silence the screams of the children he killed during the Purge. He starts fights in the taverns and ends up stuck in the stocks. I treat him for arthritis. His injuries from his time as a guard have caught up with him, so now he adds the joint pain to his list of things to drink away."
"So, he feels guilty." Merlin frowned, "I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for him or not. He killed innocent people."
"And I let innocent people die by not getting all of them out of Camelot. None of us are blameless in the Purge, Merlin." Gaius took a deep breath. "The thing about war is that no one gets out of it without blood on their hands. And it was a war. I stayed here in Camelot and tried to help magic-users get out, but to many who didn't see that, I am a traitor. I am one of Uther's friends. I always have been and I always will. He was, and still is or can be, a good man. He's just very mistaken in his beliefs. I believe in Camelot, Merlin. I believe in her people. I have done things that would not please either side, though. So will you in protecting Arthur."
Merlin stared into his mentor's eyes, shaded with grief and fatigue. Gaius was right. Merlin had seen enough of the magic in the country to know that there were evil magic-users as well as good. He just wasn't sure where he would draw his line in the sand. What would Merlin determine to be the thing he couldn't do to save Arthur and his destiny? He knew he'd have that question presented to him one day. He just wasn't sure when it would be and what his answer would be.
The next time Ranald needed his medicine, Gaius sent Merlin out to deliver it. Ranald was just stumbling home from a stint in the stocks, debris littering his body. Merlin helped the older man into his hut before he put him into his tiny cot. Ranald mumbled a brief thanks before he fell asleep, still dressed in the filthy clothing. Looking around, it appeared he only had two sets of everyday clothes. Merlin quickly went to fetch some water from the well down the road and set about making the medicine up for the sleeping man. He figured he'd just leave it, ready to be drunk, on the table. As he waited for the water to boil, he set about tidying up the hut. Cleaning a hut was far easier than cleaning for the prince. The dirt was swept out the door into the street. The bits of leatherworking he left where they were.
As Merlin was scrubbing the table in the corner of the room, he heard whimpers from the man on the cot. The water was nearly boiling but he didn't want to leave Ranald having nightmares. When Merlin shook the old man's shoulder he had to quickly jump back to avoid the hand thrown in his direction. "It's just me, Ranald. Merlin. Gaius' apprentice."
Ranald's bleary eyes matched his voice when he finally spoke and focused on Merlin. "Sorry, boy. Thought you were part of my dream."
"Um, your medicine will be ready in a few minutes." Merlin helped him sit up before he went back to the pot on the hearth.
"You don't think much of me, do you, boy?" Merlin's shoulders tightened. How was he supposed to answer that? "You think I'm an old drunk."
Merlin turned and faced the former guard as he pulled the pot off the hearth and poured the water over the powdered medicine Gaius had prepared. "Gaius told me why you drink and start fights. I've never had to deal with what you have, so I don't want to judge you."
"But you do. Judge me, that is." Ranald's mouth was tilted up in a slight grimace. "Can't blame you, I guess. Not really." He sat down at the table and ran his hand over the filthy front of his clothes. "I've done things I'm not proud of. Hurt people."
Merlin wanted to ask him. He wanted to know if Ranald hated magic-users. He wanted to know if Ranald really thought a babe-in-arms could be evil just because he might use magic at some point in the future, even of he did regret it afterward. He wanted to ask him if he would have killed Merlin and his mum if they had been in that village. But he couldn't. Merlin had to live here. Live with all of these people, most of whom would condemn him in a heartbeat if they even thought he possessed magic. He couldn't let himself think that none of his new friends would support him if they ever found out. "I'm sorry for what happened to you, Ranald."
Ranald had been silent while Merlin's thoughts raced. He hadn't expected an answer from the young man in front of him. He picked up the medicine and winced at both the heat and the bitter taste "Gaius needs to learn how to make his medicines taste better."
Merlin's mouth lifted in a smirk. "Agreed, but I think he likes making them taste terrible." Ranald finished the drink off quickly. Better to just get it over with. Merlin took the mug from the table and rinsed it out with some of the water he had left in the pot. "Gaius said this one will make you sleepy. It's stronger than your normal medicine, so let's get you back in bed. Do you want to change your tunic first?"
"Probably a good idea." Ranald pulled the dirty one off his body, exposing the scars that criss-crossed his torso. He saw Merlin staring in mild shock at the longest one and snorted. "Got that one saving the king." He pulled the slightly cleaner tunic over his chest and shrugged before he went back to the bed and lay down, turning to face the wall before he fell back to sleep, ignoring Merlin's presence completely.
Merlin picked up the soiled tunic and looked back at Ranald's already snoring form. He shook his head with wonder at how the man could fall asleep so quickly. It must be a holdover from his guardsman days, because he saw some of Arthur's men do the same thing when they were all camping on patrol. Merlin wondered if he'd ever pick up the trick. For now, he decided to wash the worst of the grime off the tunic in his hand. There was still some warm water left in the pot, after all. As he quickly washed and rinsed the tunic, he couldn't help staring at Ranald. He didn't know what to think. The man snarled at all the little children he saw, especially when they threw fruit at him in the stocks, but he obviously knew how to be nice to people. He got drunk as a skunk on a regular basis and threw punches at random strangers, but Merlin had seen him forego his drink to get his work done the first time he'd been here with Gaius. He had nightmares, but could still fall asleep in a moment. His leatherworking looked excellent from what Merlin saw on his workbench, but he couldn't care less about his hut or appearance. When the tunic was cleaned Merlin hung it from the beam near the hearth.
He still hadn't figured out the man on the bed. Maybe he never would. Maybe it was just Camelot itself. Beautiful for the most part, but with an ugly side Merlin could never forget. Merlin decided all he could do was hope that the ugly side would dissipate when Arthur was on the throne and Albion's bright future happened. He thought of what Gaius said about doing unpleasant things to protect Arthur, and decided he would try his hardest not to hurt innocents to protect the prince. He didn't want to end up with the same types of regrets that Gaius and Ranald had.
Well, this one got away from me, and it was supposed to be something quick because the chapter I was originally working on for this week has gone totally off the rails. This one is for Charis77, since she wanted to see more of Ranald. So did I, but it took me a while to come up with a decent idea.
I see Camelot as being completely contradictory in general. The people could be amazingly kind and amazingly cruel. I hope my flawed character of Ranald can be seen the same way. I dislike perfect characters. They are completely unrealistic and boring to read about. I want to see the cracks and crevices. At this point Merlin is pretty innocent. The world is still black and white. Growing up changes that.
