When I was surrounded by the world
You were the only one who came
And you were the only one astounded
Which kept me grounded
As the other girls trashed my very name
Then I looked over
Just in time to see you smiling back at me
And saying everything's OK
As long as you're inside my blue veins
"Blue Veins"
~The Raconteurs~
The closest I could get to Bella was Alice these days, and I really pushed my luck with that. I knew that Alice was a little irritated with me; I didn't blame her a bit. She'd told me what was going to happen and she was correct in every way.
Walking away from Bella after she'd reamed me was almost impossible to do. Was I supposed to listen to her and leave, never try to contact her, or give her time to sort through everything and maybe try again later?
It had been three weeks since I'd been pushed away. Two days ago Alice snuck a photo to me with her cell. I still can't decide if that was a blessing or a curse. I do nothing but stare at the grainy profile photo that had been taken in Bella's house while they were watching a movie. Alice told me that Bella wasn't seeing anyone. Hadn't made any attempt to go out on a date, which gave me hope. I'd ride that hope all the way to the bitter end.
I kept to myself a lot of the time. Work, gym, home to be grumpy and try to sleep. I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to really deal with it; if I didn't acknowledge it, it didn't happen.
"Edward! Hey! Hello?"
Angela's quick tapping of her foot and raised voice pulled me from my thoughts.
I eyed the woman carefully. She's been a bit snippy with me recently. At first I chalked it up to PMS, though I'd never say that shit out loud; I like my balls right where they are, thank you. But it seemed to be carrying over it was starting to grate at my nerves.
"Yes?" I didn't move from my seat behind my desk.
"You have a red carpet tomorrow night, we need to get you in for a final fitting. I received a message from Caroline's people, you're to pick her up beforehand, so you'll need to be ready by four o'clock so that you can make your appearance together." She was scribbling furiously on her legal pad. "Up, scoot- you need to get out of here for that fitting. Now."
Pressing my teeth firmly together so as not to sling a verbal load of garbage her way, I nodded, shut my computer down, grabbed my phone and wallet and left the room.
.~.~.~.
I'm not exactly certain where things got out of control, I was leaving the fitting, already in a foul mood from Angela's bitchiness, I took a straight pin to the shin and one to my thigh, and then I ran out of cigarettes. It was a combination of all of these things and the fact that I couldn't get Bird out of my bloody head. She'd taken up residence not only in my head, but my heart as well. It bloody well sucked to be the lovesick fool.
I pushed through the back door of the tailor into a private back alley.
"Hey man, ready to go?" Emmett looked up from the comic book he'd been reading while leaning against the side of the black car.
"I think I need a walk. I need some cigarettes. I'll be back." I pulled my ball cap over my eyes and walked off before he could tell me that this was a bad idea.
I made it to the corner gas station and was just lighting up on my walk back when a camera was shoved in my face.
"Hey Edward, where's your girl? Heard you fucked and dumped."
The clicking. The non-stop obsessive shutter noise. Over and over.
"Dude, give me the news, bro. Did you just toss her off? That's cruel man."
I kept smoking. I kept smoking and walking and listening to the shutter on the camera snapping away.
"She was pretty hot, man. Don't know why you got rid of that."
I dropped the cigarette and looked straight into his eyes.
"You want a bloody story, mate?" I didn't stop walking. "I'll give you a story." I reached out, grabbed his piece of shit camera and used it to yank him up into my face.
"Here's a story, you piece of shit; Point that thing in my face one more time, say one more word about the girl, I will have your ass faster than you can blink." Twisting my hand around the camera strap, he fell closer. "Got it? Back off about the girl."
I shoved him off of me, watching him fall on his ass in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Your ass is grass, Cullen. Think you're invincible. I'll sue you."
I laughed and turned toward him.
"Do that. I look forward to it. Scum." I flipped him the bird and walked off.
xBx
I'd watched Edward on the red carpet. He had a blonde woman on his arm. I stared straight at his face the whole time he was on my tv. I kept the volume on mute so as not to hear the interview he gave.
He looked tired. He didn't have his dorky grin. Matter of fact, he didn't smile. Not once. Why did that squeeze at my heart? Why did I even care? He fucked me over and lied and I shouldn't feel bad for him. He was walking around with a blonde bombshell on his arm who was simpering all over him. The last thing he deserved was my sympathy.
Things could be worse, Bella.
I kept telling myself that over and over. But after opening up and finally letting him in, after everything with Jacob and his sorry excuse for a friendship, I just felt lost. I was PMS personified. I was the loose pin in a grenade. I was a live wire; ready to shock whoever fucked with me next. I was sick of it. I was hurt and tired and felt exposed in a way I never had before. I'd given to him something I had never given before and if felt like a huge slap in face when I realized what he had done.
But was it really that bad?
"Guess what!?"
Alice jumped on my bed, bouncing and grinning like a fool.
"Oh god, Alice, the last time you jumped on my bed like a teenager, we ended up stalking a celebrity. Look how that turned out. I'm not interested in what you're selling."
She laughed and smacked me lightly on my leg.
"You're gonna want in on this. I did a good thing. So, this weekend, after Thanksgiving, you and I are having a girls weekend in Seattle!" Alice was beaming and full of pride.
"Excuse me? What about the shop? What about Jasper? You're okay with being away from him for two whole days?"
I loved fucking around with her about Jasper. She got all riled up like a little kitten. Made me smile.
"I have it all under control. And I don't mind going away for a girl weekend with my best friend and leaving the peen at home." She grinned again. "I have the hotel taken care of. We have spa and massage sessions lined up. I'm thinking mani-pedi's and maybe getting our hair done. Maybe some Christmas shopping?"
"Well, seeing as how you have this alllll under control and have already booked everything, I can't really say no, can I?"
Alice bounced up again and clapped her hands together.
"This is going to be amazing, Bella. It's just what the doctor ordered and we totally deserve it."
.~.~.~.
I had to open the shop the Friday morning after Thanksgiving, Jasper and Leah were going to work the morning shift, Jasper was going to stay through and move over to the bar when it opened, and Alice and I were driving up to Seattle as soon as we had them settled.
As much I pestered and bitched about Jasper being in the shop without one of us there, Alice kept reminding me that he was trustworthy, that he was good with people, loved coffee, and wouldn't fuck us over. I had snorted at that last one and then reminded Jasper that my dad would be keeping an eye on him. That was someone a girl could rely on; Her dad. Jasper just smiled politely and said, 'Yes, ma'am.'.
It was freezing outside this early in the morning, so I shrugged into a hoodie and gloves and shoved my feet into an old pair of black Chucks.
I dragged my small suitcase out of the bedroom and wheeled it down the hall with me. Alice had told me to pack something nice for Saturday night so that we could go out for a few hours. So I officially had too many clothes packed, if you ask me. Alice, I am sure, would show up with no less than three bags. She was insane.
I made sure all of the appliances were shut off, my mom was going to stop by to get the mail, and I locked up behind me.
My breath came out in big steamy puffs and my cheeks stung against the cold breeze. As I approached my gorgeous car, I noticed something laying in the dirt next the wheel on the driver's side.
I got closer and almost gagged.
"What in the fuck? I mean, literally! What in the fuck!?"
I stared at the used condom and immediately wanted to murderize whomever it was that was fucking on my car. Who in the hell did that?
I threw my bag in the car and unlocked the garage looking for a shovel. Chills ran up my spine when I lifted the used prophylactic and walked over to my garbage can.
"Ewwww! Eww! Ew! Fuck! Nasty!"
I slammed the garbage lid shut and shuddered. I turned back to the garbage and lifted the lid once more and dropped the shovel in as well. Don't need any of that nasty shit.
I slammed the garage closed and locked it back up before driving into town.
.~.~.~.
"Oh my god, Bella! Are you kidding me?! What kind of nasty ass bitch does that!?"
"I don't know, but if I find out who it was, that person will no longer have nuts that work."
We were halfway to Seattle, Adele was serenading us and we had stopped at Starbucks for mochas. I was having probably the best time I'd had in over a month. Other than finding someone's fuck trophy in my driveway, things had been going very well so far on our girl's only vacation.
"That is truly disgusting. You should let your dad know about that shit. People can't just be out fucking on random cars and leaving their juice behind. Someone could get sick from that."
I laughed as Alice shuddered and her mouth twisted up.
"I'll let him know when I get home. Not worried about it now. There is fun to be had and I am not missing out on it this weekend."
Alice let out a loud whooping noise and grinned.
"Damn straight! That's my girl!"
.~.~.~.
We'd only been in our room for an hour when Alice announced it was time for our massages and facials. This woman doesn't mess around.
I dragged my ass down to the spa and my back felt amazing after our massage session. I didn't even realize how much stress I'd been holding onto in my shoulders and lower back. I felt like a new woman and my face had a wonderful clean glow.
"Bella, look at this."
Alice shoved a gossip rag into my hands. I stared down at the headline; Trouble for Cullen.
There were five photos of Edward and a man, who I assumed was paparazzi. Edward had the man by his camera neck strap and he looked pissed. Beyond angry. The one that got me though, was at the end of the row of photos.
Edward was smiling. No, that wasn't a smile- that was a smirk. An evil look in his eyes and he was flipping the bird. And he looked hot as fuck. All of a sudden, my sex drive kicked back in, something that hadn't been around in the weeks since I'd last seen him.
I glanced up at Alice and she shook her head.
"I have no idea what's gotten into him, Bella, but this isn't good."
I'd assumed that she kept in touch with him. I wouldn't ever tell her not to. I just never asked about it.
I tore out the page with all of the pictures of Edward on it, folded it up and shoved it in my back pocket.
"Not a damn word, Alice."
Her smug look killed me.
"I didn't say anything."
We made it back to the elevators and I pressed the button for the 12th floor.
"You didn't see anything either."
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at the chrome door as it slid closed. My stomach pitched when the elevator started to move.
"I don't see why you can't just talk to him and hear his side of things, Bella."
I glared at her.
"Because Alice, he lied to me. And he hid things from me because he didn't think I could handle myself. I'm not going to go back to him and ask him to finish off the job on my heart."
"Yes, because the healthy thing to do is run away and keep magazine clippings of him in your back pocket."
A/N
Just back from a quick vacation.. why is it that you come back from vacation in more need of vacation than you did before you left? Apparently I'm doing it wrong. lOl
Hope this finds you all well.
