Quick A-NOTE: Hang in there with me guys. No one's more anxious than I am to get to and surpass John Teller's arc in the Fic. That's when all the fun stuff happens. *Pinky swear*

- Veritable Old Lady Crow


The further Tara walked past the adjacent boys and girls locker rooms, into the gymnasium, the more she was beginning to regret leaving Jax and Sarah alone. It wasn't jealousy that had her nerves on the fritz either. It was the million and one possible ways that Jax "handling" Sarah could end badly for her—for them.

Especially since nobody handled Sarah Hale.

That bitch was resilient. Nothing could keep that girl down and when she struck back there was always carnage left for somebody else to clean up. Tara didn't want to be collateral damage.

And that's exactly what she would be if Sarah was granted even a second to finish her sentence.

The sentence Tara had cut short, the very reason she'd shoved the grey-eyed blonde against those ugly green lockers in the first place. Tara had been so excited by the idea of Jax putting Sarah in her place, him telling Sarah once and for all who he really cared about that she'd left the girl who could ruin her life alone with the very guy she'd use to do it.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

She had to go back in there before Sarah did what she did best: Stir the pot. Tara had no doubt that her dating David was ammunition Sarah had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to use. What better time than now?

Kissing Jax must have scrambled her brain a bit because she was all the way on the other side of the gym before reaching this delayed epiphany.

Tara spun around, full prepared to hightail it back into the war zone she'd left behind to make sure she didn't end up being a casualty.

"Tara? Finally. I saw your dad's car in the parking lot but I couldn't find you anywhere!"

Tara shut her eyes, squeezing them tight, hoping to chase off the dots beginning to dance beneath her lids.

Opie.

She really wished it was Opie's voice she'd heard behind her.

Or Donna. She'd even take the nosey, judgmental, hot tempered midget right about now.

Tara had no way of knowing if time was on her side, but she knew for damn sure that luck wasn't.

Tara fixed the most neutral expression she could muster on her face before slowly, turning around to face him.

"Jesus Christ!" David hissed, reaching out to touch her neck for an entirely different reason that the one from two nights ago. "Baby, are you okay?"

Tara didn't know if her cringing had more to do with his words or his touch and it didn't matter which. She felt shitty all the same.

"I'm fine, David," she answered, gingerly removing his hand from her throat. That same hand moved to brush her hair out of her face, no doubt so she could see the earnest expression he was giving her.

"You have to press charges, Tara. Unser can't make this go away. Half the town saw her do it."

Tara cocked an eyebrow in challenge. "Including you?"

Jax on the fence about choosing me over his family is one thing. What was your excuse for just standing there?

For not making sure I was okay?

David shook his head. "I didn't want to have to chauffer Sarah around all weekend so I drove her to pick up her car," he said.

Oh. Right.

He did say he was looking for her when he first walked in.

"I wish I was there," David admitted, his hand slowly gravitating towards the purpling bruise around her neck again. "I can't believe everyone just stood there…. Even Opie…and Jax"

"I get it," she confessed quietly, a sad smile creeping into her features. "It's fucked up and I won't pretend it didn't hurt me at first….but I get it."

David shook his head. "You're way too forgiving and it's always for people that don't deserve it."

You mean people like Jax.

Tara sighed, shaking her own head. "You're too judgmental."

"I just call things like I see them, Tara. I always have," David argued. The lightness in his tone did nothing to belie the conviction behind his words. "You're the same way, Tara. That's one thing we've always had in common."

Tara smiled, shaking her head. "I disagree. I'm not judgmental….I'm intuitive."

David rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance. "No, you're a smart ass," he teased, finally giving up on trying to keep the smile from spreading across his face.

Tara winked. "But you love it though," she challenged, eyebrows rising.

David's smile dropped. The playful gleam in his eyes seconds before vanished as his face took on an expression so wistful Tara's stomach was immediately in knots. He moved in closer to her, reaching a hand to lightly cup her face, his thumb splayed against the softness of her cheek. His eyes searched hers as if committing their exact shape and color to memory when he leaned down towards her, as he softly nudged her chin upwards.

Panic sent Tara's nerves into overdrive.

Her head was spinning but the anxiety only made her dizzy—it did nothing to waylay the contradicting emotion overtaking other parts of her body. The parts of her that encouraged, that welcomed what was about to happen.

Like her mouth, slick from the tip of her tongue when she'd run it across her bottom lip.

Like her eyes, every bit the green traffic lights as her emerald irises beckoned him forward without the necessity of words.

He was going to kiss her.

Tara liked kissing.

Tara liked kissing the guy that was about to kiss her.

She liked it very much.

"That's not the only thing I love," David breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I love—"

And there it was.

The source of her anxiety, the reason it felt wrong to give in to what her body wanted.

When Tara closed her eyes it wasn't in anticipation of the kiss she knew she shouldn't go through with. She shut them tight, wincing at her own words before they even blew past her lips, out into the open air.

"David, don't," she whispered, shaking her head once. Tara stepped back, moving away from his touch, away from his words—away from him. But the distance did nothing to assuage her guilt. Regret permeated the walls of her heart until her eyes burned from tears she refused to shed this time. "Please…don't say it…it's not fair…I can't let you…I'm being selfish."

"What are you talking about?"

It was amazing how she knew exactly what the expression on his face looked like before even opening her eyes. When she finally did, the truth crashed down on her like an avalanche, and all the numbness from the cold pooled in her chest.

She was never afraid to tell Jax about David. That wasn't the moment she'd been dreading the most.

The moment she feared was now.

This was the conversation she'd been afraid of all along. The one where she'd finally have to admit what she'd been reluctant to accept.

When she finally spoke, her voice was every bit as small as the tear on the end of the Charming HS 1989 Basketball Championship banner hanging on the wall behind him. "The other night you told me to figure it the fuck out—"

David was already shaking his head. "—I was angry. I said a lot of sh—"

"—I did what you asked me to." Tara's voice rose just enough to silence him.

"And?" David prompted when she paused.

Summoning courage she didn't know she had, Tara met his eyes. "I like you, David. I like the way you make me feel. I being around you. I like being with you. And even with all the drama, all the back and forth…even with everything you've ever said or done that hurt me or pissed me off…nothing has ever changed the way I feel about you. I don't know if anything could."

David's mouth quirked up at the corners. The warmth in his smile did nothing to thaw out the ice building up inside her. He moved to close the gap between them again, his smile quickly turning into a frown when she backed away from him—again.

"Why are you—" Tara closed her eyes, cringing once again and David cut his own question short as the words she'd spoken out loud resonated in his mind, shining a bright light on what she hadn't said—shifting his attention to what she was trying to say without using the words at all. "You like me." Tara opened her eyes, nodding her head once. "You like me….but you love Jax."

Tara shrugged. "I don't know."

I really don't. And I'm not ready to figure it out.

"But he's the one you want to be with…you choose him?." David's voice barely went up at the end. That's how she knew it wasn't a question. They both knew it. He wasn't really asking. He already knew the answer.

That didn't mean she couldn't give him the clarity he wanted, the transparency he deserved after months of being a stand-in, her security blanket, her plan B. Every accusation he'd thrown at her the other night had been spot on. After weeks of dealing with her hypocrisy, her mood swings, all the hot and cold she owed him at the very least the truth.

"I'm not choosing him, David...if I had a choice you wouldn't even be standing here in front of me right now...because that would mean it's possible to control how you feel…."

But that didn't mean she'd let him completely off the hook. Misleading him was merely a byproduct of lying to herself. And even if she wasn't coming clean, unlike Jax who clueless to what David meant to her, David had known how she felt all along.

"and you can't turn it off either... That's why you're still here trying to make it work with me even though you already knew how i really felt before I had the nerve to tell you."

David nodded in agreement even as his frown deepened. "He's gonna hurt you, Tara."

"Then we'll have something else in common."

"Hearts broken by the person we love?"

"I never said I loved him," Tara argued meekly.

"I don't hear you denying it either."

Tara forgot all about being contrite as her eyes narrowed, her temper flaring without any real provocation.

I guess Jax's rage-o-meter is on the money. Not even ten seconds.

Tara's scowling expression changed to one of confusion when David began to laugh.

"This shit is ridiculous....hearing you say it...you making up your mind was supposed to help…This is the part where I'm supposed to walk away hating you."

"This is going to sound really selfish but I don't want you to hate me," Tara admitted.

"What do you want from me, Tara?"

"Can we be the kind of friends that don't occasionally suck on each other's necks?" David scowled, and Tara swore the sweat beaded on her brow from the heat of his glare instead of the lack of AC in the building. "Too soon?"

"Way to soon," David grumbled. "That awful joke did the trick though. I think I'm starting to hate you now."

"If that were actually true…I'd deserve it."

"I hope he fucks up…badly. And don't care if that makes me sound like an asshole. I mean it."

Tara smirked, shaking her head at him. "You just can't wait to say 'I told you so' can you?"

"Fuck that. I just want you to see who you're really meant to be with…"

"David," Tara whined. "Believe it or not I don't enjoy torturing you….I don't want you waiting for him to screw up."

"You want to me to what? be your friend?"

Tara's answering shrug seemed to add even more of a slump in her shoulders. "I want you to at least try."

I'm a selfish bitch for even admitting it…but you asked.

"Okay."

Tara head shot up. She'd expected him to tell her to kick rocks. Lord knows that's what she would have told him if the roles were reversed.

"Okay?"

David nodded once.

Tara had to fight the urge to glare at him again.

And Opie thought her poker face was awful.

"By the way," David said as if something had just occured to him. "I probably should have mentioned it sooner…your manager was looking for you, too. Either she was the only other person besides me and Sarah that didn't see what happened or she doesn't give a shit. Either way she told me if I found you first to tell you packing up the booth is yours and Carlie's responsibility—"

"—which basically means mine."

David chuckled. "…and you better finish in time to show up for your shift at the store."

Rolling her eyes towards the ceiling, Tara missed the brief glare David shot over her shoulder.

"I guess you'll have to assure me that being friends is enough some other time," Tara said, grinning despite the new hit her already gloomy mood had taken. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah." Moving in closer to her for the third time, David held his arms out, chuckling lightly when she narrowed her eyes at him. "…Friends are allowed to give each other hugs you know."

Now who's the smart ass? Tara thought. But this time she didn't back away.

He wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her in tight against chest. Their embrace was one of familiarity as she automatically threw her arms over his shoulders, her hands clasping together at the base of his neck.

Tara found herself more amused than annoyed when she had to be the one to pull away first. Still the kiss he'd pressed against her face as she moved her hands from around his neck sent her nerves into a frenzy that had her avoiding his eyes when she mumbled, "Bye," before walking past him.

Seconds later she realized she'd taken off in the wrong direction. The exit she needed to go through was on the other side of the gym.

But there was no way she was turning back around. She'd finally made up her mind and she wasn't changing it.

She didn't want to change it.

She also didn't want to get David's hopes up again, not for even a second.

She'd hate herself if she did that.


|FOLLOW|