A/N: This chapter has some Neal, I'll promise to make it up to you guys in chapter 29 (a lot)


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Weeks turn into months and they settle into some form of routine. Emma doesn't know what she had expected but it wasn't this.

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Dull thumps echo around the quiet office as a ball is thrown against the wall and caught again on the rebound. After losing the count at around 97, Emma sighs and starts rolling the tennis ball around her empty desk, just as empty as it had been since the shift started.

So much for a distraction, she thinks as her eyes catch the phone on her desk briefly. She doesn't even know what she had expected really. It had been a quiet week in general and short of a small bar-brawl at the Rabbit's Hole, which had been over before she even arrived, there hadn't been much to do. She even spent a little time earlier in the week sorting out the filing system and inputting some older data into the computer. Which meant she had absolutely nothing left to do now.

Emma yawns as she glances at the phone once more, almost willing it to ring before bouncing the ball off the wall again absentmindedly. This kind of sucked, since all she was accomplishing right now was exactly the opposite of what she had in mind. Last night's events seemed to be stuck on a loop for her and with nothing to distract her, she kept mulling things over. Kept poking at the situation mentally, kept thinking if she should've done things differently.

Maybe if things hadn't been so awkward lately. Hell, every moment they had spent together, alone, without Henry running interference between the two of them, had been loaded with awkwardness. And last night hadn't been any different. When she had been invited to stay for a drink, Emma had once again declined politely, just like the last four or so times she had done the same thing over the past few months. She doesn't know if she's become even better at reading her, or if Regina stopped trying to mask her emotions but Emma does know Regina had looked fairly disappointed before she'd schooled her features into something that approached neutrality. A mask that Emma had noted with some dismay, seemed to be the default that Regina returned to whenever something was bothering her.

She had thought about possibly accepting the offer after all, while Regina had walked her out, but Emma had been so confused still. And there was this never dissipating tension that ran between them now; she couldn't put her finger on what it was, but if Emma had to guess it was because they had barely touched ever since that morning in Regina's garden. Ever since they last kissed.

And that was what bothered her now. She'd been so close to kissing Regina last night. And she knew, from the look in Regina's, from the way she was unable to keep herself from staring at Emma's lips; that Regina wouldn't have minded it in the least. Probably welcomed it in fact, so why hadn't she kissed Regina? Why had she gone for a peck on the cheeks at the last possible moment instead of kissing the other woman goodnight like she really wanted to? Why had she made things even more awkward. Up until the point she'd stuffed her hands deeply into her pockets, shuffled her feet a little, before making some lame ass excuse and practically ran to her bug and drove home, without so much as a glance back?

Emma catches the ball again and rubs it between her hands as her eyebrows scrunch together into a deep frown. Regina had been teaching her magic once or twice a week and tomorrow they were going to delve into some more offensive spells. Just the two of them. Since Henry would be over with his father for the weekend. It would be the perfect opportunity to do.. Something at least. If only she could decide what.

Maybe ask her out on a proper date?

The ball rebounds a bit too low this time and though Emma ducks after it, until she is poised precariously on the edge of the chair, she still fails to catch it. Sighing, she watches the ball bounce around a few times before coming to a dead stop in a corner of the room.

Staring at it for a moment, Emma smiles and raises one of her hands in front of her. Even though she knows Regina would probably frown upon using magic for something as mundane as retrieving a ball from the ground, Emma likes to think it is harmless enough all the same, plus it is practice too. She stares at the ball and smirks with satisfaction as it vanishes and poofs into her hand a moment later. At least she has gotten really good at moving small things around now. Well...moving things towards herself, teleporting them elsewhere still was a hassle at times.

Emma distinctly recalls the last time she had tried to teleport an apple somewhere and it had ended up flying through one of Regina's mansion's windows. Needless to say the owner of said property hadn't been exactly amused when she had taken note of the damage done. To be fair though, Regina had herself to blame, licking her lips after they had drank some lemonade in the garden to cool down and some of the moisture had clung to her slightly parted lips...

She studies the ball in her hand and thinks of teleporting it back to the corner where it had been moments ago, while mentally praying it wouldn't end up being launched through one of the station's windows. Emma is not entirely sure how she'll end up explaining that one to her parents.

"You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to knowing you can wield magic."

"Jesus..." Emma mutters, eyes wide. The ball vanishes from her hands and ends up just short of clocking Neal in the head as it sails right past him and bounces against the wall behind him.

"I suppose I should be happy that wasn't a chair instead?" Neal questions as he glances over his shoulder at the ball which is slowly rolling towards the door.

"Sorry. I was..distracted. I didn't expect to..." To see him here? She takes in his appearance quietly for a second. Why was he here? Her brain immediately supplies a bunch of worst-case scenarios and every single one of them fills her with a sense of dread. "Why are you here Neal? Please tell me your father didn't blow up something else."

"No," he responds evenly, making some of the worries she was feeling ebb away. "Not yet at least, that's why I'm here."

Only to make those same worries rise back up again with a vengeance. Suddenly Emma wishes she had something stronger to drink than the horrible black drab that had to pass as coffee. Leaning back against the desk, she steals a quick glance at the trashcan next to it and the now-empty coffee cup that she had tossed in just an hour or two ago. A wistful look passes across her face as she thinks of the difference between Granny's coffee in the mornings and the stuff that was brewed by the coffee-machine at the station. It never used to bother her as much before, certainly she had drank enough of the stuff before the curse broke. She wonders briefly if she is becoming a bit too spoiled.

"Want some coffee? I'm having a feeling that whatever you're going to tell me, it'll likely take a while and I don't know about you, but I could really use some caffeine."

"If that coffee is as bad as I remember it being, then no thanks, just water would be nice."

Right, she had almost forgotten about the two brief visits he had paid her before. Once to tell her he was going out of town for a little while. And once to discuss where Henry would be staying over the course of the following weeks. At least both of those visits had been amicable, he had been almost subdued during their brief discussions and they had parted ways on good terms. It had considerably lifted her mood at least and gave her some hope that they would be able to find viable solutions in the future when it came to Henry.

Throwing him a water-bottle she fished from the mini fridge, she detours to the coffee-machine herself. Even though she knows she would likely only take a few small sips of the black substance, it was something to stall for a minute or so more, for Emma to gather her thoughts.

"I didn't bother me as much when I discovered you could do magic initially," Neal says from somewhere behind her and Emma freezes for a moment while rummaging about for her usual coffee-cup. "Probably because there wasn't time to process it then. But.." She looks over her shoulder as he pauses and spies him twirling the cap of the water bottle between his index finger and thumb, while staring at it and appearing deep in thought. "It did bother me somehow afterwards, it was like this prickling presence at the back of my mind, knowing you could use magic, knowing what magic can do to people."

"You worry it will..."

"I've seen up close what it can do to people, Emma."

"But that's different, your father is the Dark One," Emma counters as she leans back against the wall and takes a small sip from her coffee.

"Believe me I know," he says bitterly, the cap springing from between his fingers and landing on the floor between them. "That's why I was helping him, I wanted my father back, the one I knew when I was young, but..." he sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. "Do you know how I ended up in this world initially?"

"Your father said you were running."

Neal chuckles mirthlessly. "I'm sure he did. I opened a portal to a world without magic; to a world where he could be just Rumple. We could've been happy here, without magic, without this corrupting influence that changed him into the monster he is now. But when the portal opened he...let me go." Emma sees some moisture gathering in his eyes as he blinks rapidly to clear them. "Instead of choosing me, he chose to keep his powers, he chose to be the coward he was known as before he became the Dark One. So yes..I ran. I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore."

"But him almost dying changed things I assume."

"Yeah, I thought that..well I saw flashes of my father instead of the Dark One, when we were in the back of his shop. I somehow hoped that this brief encounter with mortality as well as these passages from Belle's books would change him. Would make him consider giving up his powers once and for all."

Emma studies him quietly over the rim of her cup, mulling over the things he just told her; trying to figure out how it all fits into him coming over to the station. Somehow she was still missing some of the puzzle pieces. "Why tell me this now, Neal?"

"Because I don't think it changed him at all. Because he's been continuing these experiments of his, in secrecy, despite of how dangerous they are. You saw what happened the last time things got out of control Emma, there's no telling what could happen next time. And I just..I'm done trying okay? I gave up on trying to change him." Neal's hands clench themselves into trembling fists, skin around his knuckles turning white with the effort. "He'll gladly put an entire town in danger just to have a chance to return to the Enchanted Forest and right now I doubt he'll even want to go there to give up on his powers. The way he's been behaving lately, he could just as well be going there to make sure he'll be able to keep them forever instead."

"Again," Emma says, unable to keep the hints of exasperation out of her voice, "why tell me this?"

"Because I might not like magic, but I'm also not stupid enough to think I can stop my father; not when he won't listen to a single word I'm saying. The only thing that can stop him, that can stop his magic, would be more magic, Emma."

"My magic?" Emma questions incredulously.

"Yours, Regina's, whatever will stop him. I will likely leave town again for a while, just to put things into perspective, maybe try to find out if there's another way to somehow stop him from using magic ever again. But I just..I've seen him kill people before, I know about the people he killed before, I refuse to have him take more lives. I.."

"Neal," Emma whispers his name as she approaches him cautiously. She has a pretty good idea what he's doing right now. Blaming himself for saving his father's life if she interpreted the look on his face correctly. It made sense too and even though she is very conflicted about the whole situation with Rumplestilskin, he is still Neal's father.

The moment she places a hand on his shoulder, his head tilts up, a helpless look etched across his features.

"I'll talk to Regina okay? Maybe the Blue Fairy too. There's got to be a way to make him stop using magic that has the potential to open up portals."

"I stopped supplying him with magical relics after that last incident," Neal says as he grabs the water bottle from the desk and takes a large gulp. "That's when things got strained between us. I thought that maybe it would stop him, but instead it only seemed to determine him to try even harder."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for that Neal. I know we have our disagreements over some things you've done in the past, but I think you did right by protecting your father, by trying to save his life when he was in danger. He might be the Dark One but he is still your father." Then thinking over what she just said, the corners of Emma's mouth curl up in disdain. "And apparently Henry's grandfather too."

"I don't think my father cares much for that."

"Small blessing," Emma states wryly. "I don't know what I would've done if he had insisted on seeing his grandson every now and then."

"Speaking of which though...thank you for letting him stay over during the weekend."

Smiling, Emma sits herself down on one of the desks, legs dangling over the edge. "You're welcome, I know he's been a bit ecstatic to spend some more time with you." She narrows her eyes at him, "something about sword fighting?"

Neal holds his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I'll have you know we use wooden swords, the only harm that could befall him would be a few splinters." Then his expression falls a little as he stares pensively at the water bottle in his hands. "He won't be too happy I'll be gone for a while I guess."

"I wouldn't worry about it too much," Emma responds. "He's been...different, might just be he's growing out of his black and white views on the world out there."

"I don't think it's just that."

Emma regards him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Henry has been telling me about Regina teaching you magic. He seems to be pretty okay with it judging from the tales he has been regaling me with."

The expression on Neal's face is unreadable, his eyes dart around the room and Emma can't suppress this sense of worry where he might be going with this. The connection between her and Regina was still relatively new and fragile. And other than Henry giving them suspicious looks at times or what her parents knew of it; Emma was pretty sure they had managed to keep what was growing between the both of them a secret.

"Please tell me you aren't going to go off on another rant about how Regina's interactions with Henry might be corrupting him."

He sighs, giving her the best wounded look he can manage and all Emma can do is roll her eyes at him in response. It never worked on her in the past, she has no idea why he would think it would be any different now.

"I guess I deserved that," he mutters, pursing his lips. "I was frustrated when I said that and maybe...a little scared."

"Of?"

"Not being able to see Henry again. I was afraid that he would be taken away from me, that I would be barred from seeing him. That I would lose him before I ever got to know him."

"You already know that I won't do this. I won't limit your interactions with him alright? No matter how pissed off I get at you at times, I wouldn't do that to you, or Henry for that matter."

"I know this now," Neal says softly, barely audible. "I didn't back then. The thought of having to give him up just like I gave you up in the past..."

Emma fixes him with a glare upon hearing those words. "You didn't have to," she exclaims vehemently, nostrils flaring with the anger she is trying to suppress. "You could've fought for me, you could've asked freaking Pinnochio if there was another way. Instead you.."

"I thought I might have another shot..." he interrupts her, turning her anger into a confusion with his odd statement. "I thought that once you broke the curse, I could have another chance. And then you showed up in New York and I-I figured maybe with some time... We could grow closer yet again, have what we once had before."

"You threw away that chance when you landed me in jail, Neal." It comes out tiredly instead of angrily, a testimony to how weary she was of revisiting this particular topic. "Please tell me you didn't break off your engagement because of that..."

"No, there was this whole thing about how the hell was I was going to explain to her that fairytales were real and that most of the characters in the books were living in a town in Maine." He pauses and catches her eyes for a moment. "But..I guess I did still feel something, enough to make me question what I was feeling for Tamara, enough to make me ask myself if I could commit myself to anything less."

"Neal.." Emma tries to think of how to let him down gently.

"It's not just about what happened between us is it?" he asks her and Emma's previous worry about where Neal would be going with this reasserts itself. "That I won't have another chance at this. It's not only because you ended up in jail because of me."

"I'm.." her voice breaks a little as she flounders on what to tell him. "I'm not sure what you're trying to say."

Her thoughts race as she thinks of how to steer the topic away from where she was pretty sure it would be going, but to her horror she comes up empty. Opening her mouth a few times to say something, anything, she's beaten to it by Neal.

"All this time you've spend together with her, the way you jump up to defend her instantly, all of your interactions recently."

"I..." Emma just stares at him in disbelief.

"Regina, Emma? I might be dense sometimes but I'm not blind," Neal says as he stands up from his chair and throws the empty bottle into the trashcan. "I also won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about. I'll be out of your hair in any case in a few days."

Emma's brains are completely scrambled, she can't even find the words to deny his assumptions. All she can do is gape at him while her cheeks color into what she can only assume to be an interesting shade of red. "I don't..." she finally manages to croak out. "How did you.." Somewhere in her mind there's this vague notion that she was supposed to laugh it off; not admit that he was right, but it gets lost in the chaos.

"Neal..." she leaves the question up in the air, knowing he would pick up on it anyway.

"It's the way you look at her," he answers her as he turns around and walks towards the exit.

And even though Emma knows she should probably leave this well be, there's this innate sense of curiosity that prompts her to ask anyway. "How do I look at her?"

"The same way you used to look at me." He turns around and smiles at her, though she can't find it in herself to smile back; too taken aback by the bombshell he just dropped on her. The next moment he leaves through the door and she's left alone again.

Emma sits quietly at her desk for a while. Thinking over what Neal told her, what she herself had only been guessing so far, she finds she can no longer stay here. Nor can she wait for tomorrow. She casts a quick look at the phone on her desk before dismissing that thought.

Instead she grabs her blue leather jacket from the coat-rack and snags her car-keys from her desk.

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