Hey guys, so this is the last chapter dealing with Dick's post-traumatic issues. I thought it would be a good idea to close it with him clearing his romantic life. For those Chalant and Dick/Babs people, this is for you!
XXVI.- Robot Boy
Zatanna Zatara
I walked out of school, looking at all the teenagers around me. It was fun, because I was getting to have a normal life now. I knew these were my last years being normal, ever since my dad became Dr. Fate, possessed by Nabu, I haven't had a time to be… normal. I enjoyed my time at school, it reminded me of what I could never have, and what I will eventually renounce. I don't wear a mask, I'm a public person. One day, Zatanna will be inducted into the Justice League and there goes my life. So I have to enjoy it while I can. Maybe I should start wearing a mask.
The school yards were filled with guys and girls kissing each other. They were enjoying their time off school and goofing around. I remember not long ago I used to be like them. I was dating a billionaire boy whose cackle just made me smile. I thought it would last longer than this. I thought we'd be together for a while. Maybe even marry and have children.
But that can't happen, not anymore.
"Zatanna," said a voice I recognized instantly and I turned back, just to see Dick Grayson wearing a dark jacket and sunglasses to hide his identity. He was underneath a tree, and the shade was hiding him.
I smiled, he was here. "Dick…"
I walked forward to him, until I was under the shade as well. Dick looked at me and removed his sunglasses, showing me his baby blue eyes that I loved. But these were different. They were somewhat tainted, with less innocence. He was hurting, a lot, and I could see it. He looked down at me. "I'm sorry, Zee…"
Walking a step forward, I wrapped my arms around him and I could see him stiffen at my touch. "You are not at fault here, Dick. Please, don't push me away anymore…"
Dick pushed me back and I could see the sadness in his eyes. "Zee… I… I know I wasn't in control of my actions but… what I did as Renegade… what I did to you and the others… I… can't forgive myself…"
I frowned and cupped his cheek in my hands. "You have to, Dick... you can't live like this…"
"I'm trying to, but it's hard," said Dick and looked down, wrapping my hands inside his. "I can't be Robin anymore… I can't be Dick Grayson anymore. I'm just… void. I am really trying to make it better, inside me but… I can't do this to you…"
My heart stopped. "What are you talking about, Dick?"
Dick looked down, ashamed? "We can't be together anymore, Zee. I don't want to hurt you… and I really don't want you to hold on to a hollow man. I will let go of what I've done, but it will take time… and I can't ask you to stay with me until I heal, if that ever happens…"
My eyes started to feel watery. "Dick, that's my choice. Not yours. If I choose to stay with you, to help you, it's because it is what I want…"
"But that's not what I want," said Dick and stepped forward, his face closing in on me. "I don't want to strip you of your happiness… I don't want to hold you back. I'm not leaving you, I'm releasing you. Please, Zee… understand. I don't know who am I anymore and until I find that person again… we can't be together…"
I looked down, trying to understand. "So you came to say goodbye. You came to leave the Team… leave everything behind…"
"Yes," said Dick and he looked at me. "I'm asking Bruce to send me away. There is a monastery… in the Himalayas… and… he was there when he was troubled. I think I should leave for a while, to sort everything out. So I can feel better… about myself, about what I did and what I can become…"
My eyes filled with tears. "You can't leave us…"
Dick then hugged me, tight. "I'm doing this for us. So we can… one day, maybe… be together again. But I just can't… do this anymore… not like this. I'm going far away, away from Gotham… away from everything. I need time to heal… and I just can't ask you to wait for me…"
"Then I won't" I said with resolution, pushing Dick back. And then I kissed him, in the lips. And he kissed back. And it felt beautiful. Like our first kiss in the Watchtower. "It was beautiful, Dick. But if you say we can't be together anymore… I accept that. But remember, please… that I will always love you. Deep down, I will always care for you…"
Then he closed his eyes and our foreheads were together. "Thanks Zee… being your boyfriend was probably the best thing that… happened to me for a long time. I'll miss you, but I need to do this…"
I nodded, closing my eyes too, feeling his touch. "When will you leave? Will you tell the Team?"
"Only Wally, Artemis and Roy know…" said Dick with a sigh. "I can't face the others… not yet. Wally and Artemis are taking me to the movies tonight, as a farewell… and… I don't know when I'll be back but… I need to do this. I'm leaving tomorrow…"
I understood and kissed him one more time. "Goodbye, Richard John Grayson. I'll be here, as a friend or more… when you get back…"
And with tears in both of our eyes, he let go. And he walked away, and I watched with a broken heart as the first boy I ever loved left me.
I turned away, not wanting to remember his back on me as he walked away…
Barbara Gordon
I was tiding my room, as if I had nothing else to do. My father, Commissioner James Gordon, was checking on a case about the Joker getting loose from Arkham again. I knew Bruce and I would be called again as Batman and Batgirl to solve this. With Robin out of the game, Gotham was in a very delicate situation. Gotham had lost its Boy Wonder… and may never get him back.
Then I heard the ring bell sound and I walked towards the reception. I was feeling overwhelmed, because I was just told that Dick would be leaving for undefined time to a monastery. I really hope they would help him, I really hoped they could fix him. After what happened, he needed guidance.
I opened the door, and was surprised to find the object of my affection there, looking at me with baby blue eyes full of hurt. "Dick…"
Dick looked down. "May I come in?"
I nodded, "Sure. Come in."
He entered the household, and I closed the door behind him. I knew he wouldn't be staying long. But if he was here, that meant he was ready to talk. And I was more than willing to listen to him. "Dick, Bruce told me… you are leaving… I just want you to tell you that…"
"I love you," said Dick, suddenly, blurting it out.
I blinked, confused. "Excuse me?"
"I love you, Barbara," said Dick and looked down with his hands on his pockets. "Like… I'm in love with you. I think… I've always been. You were my first kiss… you were the person I loved since the very beginning and I couldn't see that until it was too late. When I was Renegade, on the midst of dark thoughts… you were a light in my life. I ended things with Zatanna but I don't know if you feel the same and I… I couldn't leave without you knowing that…"
And then I pulled him and kissed him, square on the lips. Like our first kiss, for both of us, in that closet playing spin-the-bottle on his birthday, two years ago. I remember, being pushed into a closet with him and giving him, giving us, the confession of our love. Nothing had changed since then. I loved him, he was the person for me.
I loved Dick Grayson.
"Dick," I said after I pushed him back slowly. "You know it. You've always known what I feel for you… but you're troubled now. You are not ready for me. Not yet. But I promise you, I'll wait for you… I'll be here when you heal and we can be… together… one day…"
Dick nodded and held me close. "I'm going to miss you. I'll be back for you, one day… and I hope I'm ready for you I asked Zatanna not to wait for me… but I can't ask you that. I need to know you'll be here when I come back. And then… maybe…"
"I'll be here, Dick," I said and kissed him again, passionately. I pulled back and rubbed his arm. "I'll wait for you. Always…"
So yeah, Dick is leaving. However, his last friend-date with Wally and Artemis might not turn out... nicely. Not with Ravager and Deathstroke ready to tear Dick apart.
Next time: Dick Grayson is enjoying his last night in Gotham, with Artemis and Wally, when Ravager decides to start the final phase of the plan, which might include hurting Dick in ways he'll never know...
Review?
