Kjelle awoke at a time she was unable to place. Darkness surrounded her, but it felt warm. She lay in place for many long minutes before deciding that she should do something more than nothing.
She attempted to bring a hand to her head to remove the wet cloth that had for some reason been placed over her eyes, which her returning senses allowed her to feel. A blanket was covering her body up to her neck, and she struggled to snake her arm out from underneath. She rubbed her throat gently, verifying that it had been healed, and then removed the damp towel covering her face.
The room Kjelle was in was bathed in darkness, though a few torches provided a welcome amount of light. Well kept beds occupied much of the floor, which itself was spacious, though none but hers were occupied. Two had been recently disturbed. No one else was present in the room with her.
Kjelle sat up and swung her legs out from under her blanket, preemptively wincing in anticipation of a pain that never arrived. Healing potions and staves were more commonplace in this time than hers, a fact of which she had to constantly remind herself regardless of how often she needed to heal. She pulled the blanket free of her body and pushed herself off of the bed to a stand.
Someone had changed her clothes into what looked like another woman's spare outfit. She frowned at the loss of what little armour had remained at the time of her arrival, but quickly managed to find her gear alongside all of her other equipment near the exit of the room. Next to her armour and bags was a supply of vulneraries and medical equipment stacked on several shelves and counters, clarifying her location as being within one of the castle's medical wards.
A significant amount of blood had been spilled on the floor next to the exit door. As Kjelle's eyes adjusted to the low light of the room she was able to see that the blood led to each of the beds that had been used. She moved a hand to her chest, expecting to feel a scar from where Basilio had attacked her, but found nothing. The wound had been fully healed and cleaned before her change of clothes had been applied.
Once she had equipped her scraps of armour, Kjelle opened the door to the infirmary and stepped out into the halls of the castle. The torchlight in the hall was stronger than that of the medical ward, blinding her for a short moment before her eyes acclimated. Windows across from her signified in their darkness the fall of night.
Kjelle was able to place her location as being at the infirmary between the barracks and Shepherd quarters. She had spent many a night recovering from extraneous training in her time's version of this room.
Kjelle ran the circumstances of the fight against Basilio through her mind again, visualising all of the possible ways she could have claimed victory at any given point. She knew she was lying in claiming that she could have emerged victorious. In the end, as much as she wished to blame anything but herself, she knew that fault for the loss rested with her. She simply did not wish to accept that notion.
"Ah, you're awake!" a voice sounded down the hall, near enough that Kjelle almost jumped. "My name is Chrom, though I suppose you would already know that." Chrom introduced himself as Kjelke turned to face him. "I was coming by to check your status and fetch Kellam before heading out. I trust that you're faring well, all things considered?" he stopped a short distance from her. The Exalt was wearing impressive armour, a set which Kjelle may have expressed jealousy over were the armour of a knight not superior - practically half of Chrom's body was exposed to attack.
"Yeah, I think I'm doing alright." Kjelle said, a spell of lightheadedness marring her speech before passing. "I'm Kjelle, by the way, in case you didn't know. Thanks for helping me, I guess. Not that I needed it. Do you know what happened here? Khan Basilio, he…"
Chrom nodded solemnly, not needing for her to finish. "I saw. Robin has informed me of the endeavours the Khand underwent in Plegia, and their ramifications. We encountered Flavia ourselves a few hours ago. She didn't fare well either."
"Oh." Kjelle said simply. "I suppose I've failed, then. We wanted to save everyone, but both Basilio and Flavia are dead, in addition to so many others. Damn it! I should've… I was supposed to be able to-"
"There's nothing we can do now but mourn their loss and continue on in their vision." Chrom advised, retaining his somber air. He gave Kjelle a moment to process his statement, which she refused to do, as he gathered his thoughts. "Sumia, Kellam, and I are to leave for Port Ferox tonight, within the hour. I don't know if you'd like to accompany us or remain here a while longer with Robin. I'd recommend the latter. You'll need armour if you're to face Valm alongside us."
Kjelle blinked, this time processing his words. "Robin isn't going to the port? Isn't he necessary for the Shepherds to function?"
"Absolutely. Every member is required for us to work as a unit." Chrom said. "He wishes to remain here in Ylisstol for a day or so before heading out. Sumia, Kellam, and I will take the information we learned today and transfer it to the Shepherds at the port, then Sumia and I will assume commanding roles and ensure that Ferox is cared for before Valmese troops can arrive. Robin suggested you stay behind for the armour, too. He wants to make sure everything is safe here before he joins us, and I guess having you near will help him."
Kjelle grew confused at Chrom's words. She wished to believe that she was beyond exceptional and that anyone should be leaping to receive her aid, but Robin had time and again proven his capabilities. What purpose would he have for staying with her, especially now that they had returned to Ylisse and were no longer required to operate together?
"This entire situation is concerning when taking into account that the entire active guard force has been lost." Chrom cut into her thoughts. "I'm not certain what Robin will do to handle things here, but I'll trust in that whatever he cooks up. I simply hope he doesn't overtax himself."
"The guard force has been lost?" Kjelle asked incredulously. "Are you saying that Basilio and Flavia managed to kill everyone in the castle?"
"Gods, no! Er, actually, that may be more reassuring than the truth." Chrom clarified. "I mean that they're literally missing. We don't know where they've gone, or if they're alive, or anything. Robin said that he intended to use the reserve forces and orders to the improvisational government as means of keeping Ylisstol protected. We'll find everyone in time, I'm certain."
Kjelle raised an eyebrow at Chrom. "Yeah, I'd say that's worse than knowing them to be dead. They likely aren't in the best of condition if risen infiltrated the castle and they're nowhere to be found."
"I realise." Chrom sighed. "I hope we find as many people alive and well as possible. Other than that, the best thing we can do for everyone is to ensure that our lands aren't invaded by Valm."
"Don't worry. I understand." Kjelle said before breaking into a small smile. "You know, I didn't think I'd find talking to you so natural. I suppose you truly are reminiscent of your daughter - or rather, she resembles you."
"Ah, right, the future story." Chrom said. "That, ah, that's a difficult story to accept, you know. More so if you claim that I have a daughter. But, you've gained Robin's trust, and so you've more than earned mine. I look forward to working with you."
"Thank you, Chrom. I'll be sure to- wait, you don't have a daughter? She should've been born by now, if the war with Valm is anything to go by."
"I've been married for a year. I work fast, but not like that!" Chrom laughed. "Besides, Sumia and I haven't made any plans for children. Such things can wait until the world isn't threatened by war and the undead."
Kjelle blinked several times. "You've decided against having children? What of Lucina, then?"
"Who?" Chrom asked in confusion. Kjelle tensed for an instant before remembering how much knowledge of the future she had already exposed to Robin. Even so, talking to Robin about her time felt a vast amount better than doing the same with Chrom.
"Ah, haha, right." Kjelle laughed awkwardly, bringing her hand to her head in a weak attempt to play down her behaviour. "My apologies, Chrom. I think I still have a bit of a headache from that fight. Go ahead and ignore me for now."
"If you're not feeling well, then by all means help yourself to a potion from the medical office. I promise not to tell Lissa." Chrom smiled, forgetting her misstep in an instant. "We did our best to treat you, but considering that none of us have learned to use staves… well, I hope we performed adequately."
"Yeah, I noticed your 'help'." Kjelle said, casting an obvious glance down to her changed clothing. Her gaze then morphed into a glare and up to Chrom, though she felt little hostility toward him in her current state.
"I swear to the gods that was Sumia. I wasn't even in the room - Kellam, Robin, the visiting noble, and I all stepped out. I swear." Chrom assured her.
"Mhm." Kjelle hummed as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I'll pick up a vulnerary before fitting myself for some armour. You don't mind if I use royal equipment, right? Because I'm going to. I plan on being on the frontlines protecting everyone long before war has the chance to arrive."
"Not the wisest choice in the world, but an admirable one. I can tell I'd be glad to fight alongside you." Chrom said, his smile returning. "I'd recommend you get Robin or one of the members of the next guard rotation to help you. Armour's a pain to fit yourself. You can easily become a Shepherd, by the way - ask Robin for some forms, and you'll have access to practically everything in this castle, with a few limits. I even have a cheatsheet for the written test, if you'd like."
"I'll pass for now." Kjelle said. "If you'd like to wait, I should be able to get everything ready by tomorrow, and I'm certain I can get Robin to do the same. We can all leave together for the port."
Chrom shook his head and stepped past her into the infirmary. "Robin was adamant about the need to move out as soon as possible. If I'm being honest with you, I think he wants time alone. I'd like nothing more than to offer him my shoulder now and whenever he should need it, but sometimes, I don't know how to act around him. Perhaps having time to himself would be best for him. Though, come to think of it, he did want you to stay."
"Yeah, from what I've gathered he seems to be like that from time to time." Kjelle said, following Chrom into the medical ward to continue their conversation. She swiped a vulnerary off the counter near the entrance, needing it to complete her lie about head trauma.
"Do you think you could check in on him? You know, make sure he's okay?" Chrom asked as he continued further into the room. "Sumia told me how close the two of you were, and I believe that if I can't bring myself to speak openly with him, then you would be the next best bet."
Kjelle furrowed her brow. "Why the hell would I be the next choice? I've known him for a few weeks and spent most of that time plotting his death."
"You did what?" Chrom spun around to face her with a look of shock on his face.
"Er, nothing. Joking." Kjelle offered weakly. Apparently Robin had failed to mention her attempts on his life in his letters, something she had not expected considering that he had composed the papers at Port Ferox. She believed he would leave never out such an important detail, not even now when they had grown so close.
Why would Robin conceal something like that? Kjelle asked herself. It would be important, right? The potential of him dying while away from Ylisse? Did he think I was so weak that I wouldn't pose a risk to him!? Her blood boiled at the thought, though she was swiftly able to calm herself.
There was undoubtedly some form of explanation. This was Robin she was thinking about, after all, and she had come to know Robin well. He would have some confounded reason for his actions. He always did.
"Ah, there you are!" Chrom interrupted her line of thought, bringing her back into the infirmary with a tap of metal. "Y'know, if you're aware that someone is searching for you and you want to be found, it's okay to make a little noise."
"Why would you be looking for me, though? Why would anyone?" Kellam's voice sounded from within the room. Kjelle could barely see the Exalt and saw nothing of the general that was by her hearing wearing his full armour.
"Come on, Kellam. You know you're as valuable as any other Shepherd." Chrom said as he pulled the general toward the light of the castle hall. "If you would speak up amore, we wouldn't have any issues like this."
"You were still in there!?" Kjelle asked Kellam incredulously. "Good gods, why aren't you an assassin?"
"Robin used to ask me that a lot, too, back during the war." Kellam said. "I don't want to be an assassin, though. I want to help people. Protect them, not assassinate them. Sorry about before, by the way. I really thought that Basilio was dead."
"You could've been a hell of a lot more thorough, that's for sure." Kjelle rubbed her throat regardless of the fact that it was absent of pain. "Whatever. It wasn't like I couldn't have taken control of that situation at my choosing."
"Weren't you unconscious?" Kellam asked innocently, earning himself a conceited glare. "Er, right, of course you could've. Sorry for sending Chrom and Sumia."
Kjelle huffed and closed her eyes, hating that she would have to in some way thank him for having saved her life. "I suppose Sumia was of some help, and she and Chrom both got some experience out of it. What you did wasn't entirely bad."
"Whew, that's a relief!" Kellam wiped at his brow, with Kjelle being uncertain as to whether or not he was attempting to ridicule her. "Heh, you can get scary fast. Not like, actually scary, but an I'd-be-scared-if-I-hadn't-fought-risen scary. So more of a fake scary, if anything."
Kjelle narrowed her gaze on Kellam. The general rapidly grew less comfortable. "Ha, ha… I've got to get ready to go to Port Ferox. It was nice beating you up, Kjelle!" he said.
Kellam dashed out of the infirmary at a surprisingly graceful speed, his footfalls somehow never generating noise. Kjelle would have continued to glare at his fleeing form had the matter of his silence not distracted her. How was it possible to be so absurdly quiet?
"It seems like you're… I was going to say getting along well, but that didn't look amicable." Chrom said, walking over to Kjelle's side at the entryway to the ward. "I hope you're having an interesting time, and that you haven't been turned away from the lifestyle of a Shepherd so soon."
"Trust me, I'll be here as long as I can - until I know there's no danger anywhere, and that everyone is safe." Kjelle said. "Kellam watching me as I sleep is… disturbing… but I don't think he had any questionable intentions. If he did, I'll make sure to beat that behaviour out of him soon enough. Now, while it was a pleasure to meet you, Chrom, I've got to go find some armour. I'll also have to whip Robin's ass into gear to get to the port as soon as possible - we'll meet you in Ferox a day after your arrival. You have my word."
"Ah, one more thing about that!" Chrom said, stopping Kjelle before she could make an exit. "First of all, don't worry about arriving so soon. Take as much time as needed to ensure that Ylisse is safe. Second, I have something I'd like for you to deliver to Robin - he should be somewhere in the gardens, if you want to go find him now."
Chrom pulled out an envelope from underneath the cape covering his side and held it out to Kjelle. She took the letter without a second of hesitation. On its front were the words 'Chrom only', and below that 'Seriously, not even Sumia for this one. Only open this if I don't make it back in time for Valm'.
"What is this?" Kjelle asked, turning the envelope over to check for further information only to end up disappointed.
"I'm not sure. Some kind of early battle strategy, I presume, or possibly something more." Chrom said with a shrug. "I was careful to not tamper with it, as Robin had written. There's no use for it now, since he's guaranteed to be at Port Ferox in time. I wanted to return it to him and allow him to to do with it as he sees fit."
Kjelle shifted the envelope around so that she could once again stare at its front, eyeing the package as though it held some grand secret. "You never grew curious enough to open this and check out what he wrote?"
Chrom shook his head. "Robin's wishes were clear. What manner of friend would I be were I to violate them?"
Kjelle frowned at his words. It was admirable that the Exalt thought so highly of his friends so as to never cross them, and Kjelle knew she could only hope to replicate that behaviour. At the same time her desire to know what the letter held was impossible to ignore. She hoped that feeling didn't make her a worse friend than Chrom to Robin.
"Wouldn't it be helpful to learn about his strategies whenever you have the chance? Meaning you should read this?" Kjelle suggested, more than eager to play Grima's advocate.
"I doubt we'll need to look at this once we see what he's been working on since starting his escapade." Chrom said, gesturing to the letter before shifting his gaze to Kjelle. "Come to think of it, you were there for the entire planning process, weren't you? Tell me, is his plan as amazing as always?"
"I don't know." Kjelle admitted. "I don't think I ever saw him working on anything like that. I wasn't with him every waking moment of the day, but I was still around for most of it… huh. He may not have planned anything as of yet."
"Hm. That doesn't sound like Robin." Chrom said, his confidence in his friend shining through. "Well, I suppose I don't have to ask about the strategies if I already know they'll be great."
"You're not concerned at all?" Kjelle asked, once again eyeing the envelope curiously. "There could be valuable information in here. Actually, this is a lot of trust to place in me. Most people I've met from this time haven't been anywhere near as believing as you."
"If Robin trusts you, then so do I. I would take it to him myself, but someone as close to Robin as you will be able to complete the task, not to mention that Kellam and I… I've already lost Kellam again. Godsdamnit!" Chrom languished before moving in what he assumed was the direction of his fellow Shepherd. He spoke to Kjelle over his shoulder, "Get that to Robin, please! Also, tell him that his other letters and some info from Cherche are in the roundtable room! Also also, Sumia and Cordelia are finished learning magic! He should plan around that!"
Kjelle narrowed her gaze for a moment at the mention of her being so close to Robin. She would like to believe that such a thing was true, but there was no way she nearer him than Chrom. She shrugged that distinction off, switching her gaze from Chrom's retreating form to the letter. It had remained sealed since the moment of its completion at Port Ferox weeks ago.
"You really are that trusting of him." Kjelle muttered to herself as she ran a hand over the top of Robin's hidden writings. Chrom suspected nothing but the best from Robin, and that was allowing him to have more faith in the grandmaster than Kjelle had ever expressed. In an odd way, she felt jealous of Chrom. He was being a better friend to Robin than she could hope to be.
"A good friend would leave this closed. They wouldn't doubt Robin and try to uncover his secrets." Kjelle continued to murmur.
She tore open the top of the parcel in one swift movement, giving herself no time for doubt before the letter was in her open hand. She unfolded the two pieces of paper before she set about reading them in the dim torchlight offered by the castle hall. Finally, she would be able to uncover something more about Robin, and perhaps some of his secrets or another lead thereto.
'Hey, Chrom. That's a horrible way to open this, but I'm writing in ink, so you get to deal with it.
So. I'm dead. If you don't know that yet, then this will sound like a bad joke, but I am. I have no intention of ever seeing you or anyone else in the Shepherds again, so this letter will be the last you hear from me. I don't know when you'll read this, but I trust that you've waited until war with Valm is near before you've dared open it.
My apologies for that, by the way. I know there could have been actions taken to better foster a peaceful resolution, regardless of how atrocious the Valmese emperor and its soldiers are, but as soon as I heard of the possibility for another war I leapt on it without a second thought. The truth is that I thrive off of those kinds of environments, where people suffer and die and I have the chance to prove how much better I am than them. That speaks a lot as to why I'm not coming back. I'm sorry for putting you in this position, Chrom, and I'm sorry for bringing everyone into a war that didn't have to be fought.
There have been other times like that, too. Times where I've acted toward what would get people hurt or killed while knowing that a better alternative was possible, or where I've gone out of my way to make matters worse. I can't explain why. It's like I all of a sudden enter a dreamlike state that should be a nightmare but isn't, and I can't get out despite how much I see and know that what I'm doing is wrong. The only way I can guarantee that you and everyone in the Shepherds is safe is to never return. To guarantee that the world is safe, I can never again taint its battlefields or the lives of its inhabitants.
I know that you would oppose me on every single thing I've said up to this point. You're probably fuming at everything I've written, especially the stuff about myself. I'm sorry for leaving you and everyone, but this truly is for the best. I don't want anyone more to get hurt.
If you're still doubting me, thinking that I'm okay and that I'm being irrational, then I want you to think about something. I'm sorry for making you remember this, but it would have been so simple for me to save Emmeryn, Phila, and even Gangrel. Some rescue staves, maybe some wind magic, and they'd still be here. I could have used some dark magic - which is a thing I can do - to heal them when they were dying or recently dead. I didn't. All I had to do for them to die was nothing, and that's what I did. That's the kind of person I am.
It's possible that you know about my ties to the Grimleal by now, considering the people I've spoken to about it recently and those who apparently already knew. You may be thinking that I'm under the influence of evil magic or Grima itself. I'm not. I'm entirely me, good and bad, and the bad is starting to outweigh the good more with every passing day.
I've recently met a woman by the name of Kjelle. You should know of her from one of the other letters I'm having Cherche deliver. I can't begin to describe the hatred burning in her eyes when she looks at me. I know this isn't a good thing to do, but I'm going to train her to be as strong as possible and then have her kill me. That'll be how I've died. Please, don't blame her for this. She knows more than you and is completely justified. I intended for this to happen.
There's so much more I wish I had the courage to tell you, but I can't. I'm not quite there yet. I'll be certain to tell Kjelle everything, though - the truth about who I am, what I have the potential to do, this feeling of grey that haunts my every action, about everything with Grima, and what I suspect had happened in her time. She'll find out everything by the time I'm dead. All that's left is to make sure that she gets through this okay, and that she'll be able to help you through what's to come. It's going to be a hell of a lot easier for you without me around.
I haven't made a plan for engaging Valm. I've barely looked at Virion's information on the empire's forces, and when I do I can't focus for long. I'm afraid that strategies would only propel you, my friends, toward your deaths. Cordelia and Frederick should he more than capable of fulfilling the role of tactician. Knowing them, they probably have a few dozen plans already drafted.
I'm sorry you had to learn like this, Chrom. Share this letter or keep it to yourself; I care not. Please don't vilify Kjelle for what she's done. Try to get through the war as peacefully, and with as few casualties, as possible.
Goodbye,
Robin'
Anger. Wave after wave of anger washed over Kjelle as she continued to read through the letter. She never once paused to give herself room to properly process what she was analysing.
Robin was planning to die? Kjelle could scarcely believe it. There was no way he was such a fool. Kjelle could not convince herself that she had been manipulated for as long as she had known Robin and turned into a weapon intended to bring about his death.
Her head flew up from the letter midway through her second reading toward where Chrom had ventured further into the castle halls. The Exalt would depart soon, and it was clear that Robin's writings were intended for him before anyone else. It would be proper to return the letter to Chrom and allow him to act as he saw appropriate.
However, Chrom didn't know as much as her. Kjelle would be able to address whatever issues Robin was facing - that's what she had promised to do for everyone, to save them from any danger, even if that meant saving someone from their own ambitions. Robin was not yet dead. There had to be a reason. A silent part of Kjelle wanted that reason to be her.
Kjelle stuffed the papers carelessly into their envelope and made her way toward the gardens. More information she had accumulated was clicking into place. Robin had hidden his dark magic and his ties to Grima from the other Shepherds, except for when he had begun his journey to Ferox. He must have begun planning his death when he had first left Ylisstol, if not earlier. He had long prepared for his own demise. Kjelle had provided him a means of attaining his goal.
Kjelle continued to experience little beyond rage toward the grandmaster. His words of encouragement and support were all feigned at best and lies at worst. How was she to speak about her past, or train in magic, or even see his face again without feeling this selfsame rage burning inside her? Kjelle could not reconcile his heinous actions.
However, Robin had not succeeded. He had set up their final duel as a means of bringing about his own end, but he had lost that fight. Kjelle had defeated him. For some reason, he had faltered at what were to be the final moments of his life, and had now lived through the circumstances intended to bring his demise.
Kjelle had begun to suspect why. It was because they were friends. She had defied his intentions and in part his manipulations, bringing the two of them closer together to the point where Robin couldn't hope to carry out his vile plan. That's why their embrace had meant so much to him. That's why he had needed to distance himself from Chrom. Robin couldn't bring himself to face the losses of death regardless of the future he wished to bring about.
Kjelle knew this, but as she entered the soft moonlight of the castle's open-air gardens, she continued to feel nothing but anger. She had been betrayed, manipulated, lied to by Robin. Everyone had been. How could he be so selfish and stupid to do something like that?
Kjelle spotted Robin lying on the ground of the gardens, his hands behind his head. He was watching clouds dance across the night sky. A sword Kjelle did not recognise rested on the ground a short distance from Robin. He was far too relaxed for what Kjelle had uncovered. That relaxation in the face of his worst evil furthered her hatred.
"Robin!" Kjelle called out. Loud. Emphatic. She was uncertain of what she was to gain by confronting him, but she already knew she would not be doing it calmly.
Robin started before realising what was happening and returning to rest. He was near falling asleep. His face seemed more pale than it should be, even in moonlight.
"What is it, Kjelle?" Robin asked, remaining calm in contrast to her volume.
"You want to explain what the hell this is?" Kjelle held up the envelope for his appraisal.
Robin cracked an eye open to see her. Upon noticing the papers in her hand, both of his eyes snapped open wide before returning to rest. He turned his head to avoid Kjelle's gaze.
"I see you've found that. I'm assuming you've read through it, too?" Robin asked. He didn't wait for an answer before continuing, "It's true. All of it, all of my plans. It's the only way for everyone to be safe."
Kjelle's mouth twitched into a frown. Even now she was searching for some reasonable justification for his actions. "Explain. Everything." she said as she tossed the papers toward his body. She then found herself kicking the resting sword away from his reach, though she expected no physical fighting from him yet.
The envelope hit Robin in his stomach. He flinched in surprise and sat up to cradle the paper in his lap. He sighed and returned to the ground, caring not for how the envelope slid off of him onto the grass at his side.
"There's nothing more to explain than what you've read. That was Flavia's, by the way," he nodded to the sword. "It's enchanted. She's dead, too, if you haven't heard."
"How the hell are you so calm!?" Kjelle shouted, again succeeding in making him wince at her volume. "How can you be so relaxed knowing that I've uncovered all of this, and that you were so close to dying!?"
Robin took a long moment to steady his breathing. "I can't leave here, Kjelle. I had planned on dying before we came back, but I couldn't do it. I was a coward. I thought that things might be okay even though I knew deep down that they wouldn't be."
"That's why you wanted to fight me. To have our final duel." Kjelle said. "You were going to throw that match with the intention of dying. You made the entire thing illegitimate!"
"Is that what you're angry about? Seriously?" Robin questioned, though his tone remained flat. "I was going to die, Kjelle - I'm still going to. Throwing a fight with you doesn't compare to that in my eyes."
"Are you kidding me!? I may have lost that fight if you hadn't wanted to die!" Kjelle shouted. "What's the point of having a fight if the outcome was decided!? Everything I've done up to this point has been worthless! All the effort, all the training, for nothing! Beating you was meaningless!"
Robin took in a shaky breath before focusing his gaze on the sky. "You would've rid the world of a great evil. We can fight again, if you'd like, or you can kill me now and be done with it. The outcome would be the same either way."
"Even now you won't have an honest fight with me!?" Kjelle continued to shout. "Do you have any idea how wrong this is!? I'm not about to let myself be faced with anything but your best, and I'm not about to kill you! I have to become strong enough to save everyone. That includes you! I won't let you stand in the way of that!"
"Killing me would save Chrom, and every single Shepherd." Robin said. His expression had grown more pained. "I think it's time I told you the truth, Kjelle. Everything I know. I'm sorry that I hid it for so long and manipulated you. By now I can see I was wrong to do that. There's no reason to hide it. I can't face the Shepherds again regardless of whether they know the truth or not. Either way, I would end up hurting them."
"Then explain yourself." Kjelle said, her voice growing more intense for every decibel it lowered. She was impressed at her own ability to hold back the tirade of emotions assaulting her mind, though she knew she was growing irrationally angry. Kjelle did not want to be angry right now, but at the same time she saw no way to escape the rage that felt so familiar. Anger was safety. Especially in these unknown waters.
"I should have told you this long ago, when you first asked. Everything about the grey, Grima, all that I learned and all that I concealed. I know that if I see Chrom again, I'll hurt or kill him. No matter what I have to die here."
Kjelle crossed her arms, withholding her fiercely growing anger and disapproval. She was eager to learn what was hidden and about the secrets Robin held, but that fact was second to all else she felt. To learn his secrets would not outweigh the notion of his death.
Robin took a deep breath before beginning. "I have access to memories from your time, from the me who existed then and there. It's not like I know everything, but I can see the aftereffects of what they did. Vestiges of the Shepherds they killed."
"You're saying that you're not them. That you're a different, distinct person, and that you didn't kill them with your own hands." Kjelle said. "You've spent a long time proving that you're not as evil as I thought. You shouldn't loop back into that now."
"Don't speak for me. You don't yet know enough." Robin said, his tone growing venomous despite his sense of calm. "I'm the same as the other me, only younger. I would be the exact same as them if you were to give me time."
"Try me. I came back in time to change things for the better, and I'm not about to let you die. That wouldn't help anything or anyone."
"Do you mind shutting up for a minute so I can speak?" Robin asked coldly, his tone once again bounding into an oddly venomous territory. Kjelle's frown intensified and her hands balled into tight fists as he continued.
"In your time, Sumia died a while after the war with Plegia had ended." Robin continued. "I don't know if it was natural or not, but she's the one person I didn't directly cause or incite the death of. The other me used her passing as an excuse to initiate a war against Valm. I was the aggressor. Not Walhart or his legion."
"The other you was a better tactician than you are now." Kjelle interjected, causing Robin's expression to snap into a frown. "What if they saw what was going to happen and took preemptive action? It's pragmatic, sure, and ruthless, but not as evil as you're trying to make it out to be. You're exaggerating everything in order to have an excuse to die."
"What are you insinuating, Kjelle?" Robin asked, glaring at her on the edge of his gaze.
"I'm saying that you're too much of a coward to face what's coming, and that's making you look for a way out." Kjelle said. "Are you scared of Grima? Of losing people? Well, surprise, surprise Robin, but that's already happened. I've seen all of it. You all of a sudden deciding that you're too weak to face it will do nothing but hurt everyone."
"I'm not being a coward!" Robin shouted. "This is the bravest thing I've ever done. I can't begin to describe how heavy it makes my heart to know that I'll never see any of my closest friends again. Compared to the feeling of my heart ripping itself apart at the knowledge that I'll kill them, though, that's nothing. I won't let them die like that. They deserve better."
"Oh, my apologies, you're so brave!" Kjelle sneered. "I can't believe I didn't see it until now! All those people like you, the ones who run away and refuse to put up the smallest of fights, you aren't cowards - you're godsdamn heroes! How you can you handle being so brave!?"
"You mock what I'm experiencing, but you have no idea what this is like." Robin said, his voice wavering into and out of hostility. "Do you remember what it felt like to lose your father? To be powerless? Afraid? Horrified and alone? Imagine those feelings and amplify them for every Shepherd I'll kill. I don't want to hurt anyone, and this is the best way to go about keeping them safe."
Kjelle's frown deepened into a snarl. Before she knew what she was doing she had kicked out at Robin's side. The hit connected easily, making him gasp in pain and scramble to a stand. Robin's expression was more wounded than before even as Kjelle's increased in its animosity.
"I really thought that you were strong, Robin. Stronger than so many people." Kjelle said. "I can't say how disappointed I am to find out that you're this pathetic. To conflate my experiences with your cowardice, my moment of weakness that I've overcome with your-!"
"So you're going to attack me!? That's how you plan on fixing things!?" Robin cut her off with a shout of his own. "I'm afraid to die, Kjelle, but I'm willing to do what's necessary! I'm not trying to insult you! This isn't weakness! All I want is for you to understand!"
"What I understand is that you're afraid, and you're letting that cloud your judgement." Kjelle said. "You didn't plan any strategies for Valm. You couldn't face Chrom and tell him the truth. You lied to me! Is that supposed to be strength!?"
"I'm trying, Kjelle. I promise, I'm trying." Robin said. "The Robin from your time used the war with Valm as a means of systematically exterminating as many Shepherds as possible. I don't know why he did it, but I feel that he enjoyed every moment. I feel as though I would, too. I'll do everything I can to avoid that."
"Even if that means lying and choosing the path of a coward." Kjelle cut in.
Robin stared at her for a long, unblinking moment, his dissatisfaction with her interruptions written on his face. When it became clear that she would say nothing further, he resumed speaking.
"That Robin, the one I'll become, caused more death than anyone else in existence, compared even to the likes of Grima and the evil dragons of old. He destroyed the world. He killed everyone - except you and your friends, the people who came back in time to kill me."
"You're still that scared of Grima?" Kjelle asked incredulously. "What happened to defeating them and securing the future for yourself, of how we would become powerful enough to do that together? Or was that as hollow of a lie as every other piece of advice you've pretended to give?"
"The advice isn't hollow. Rather, it doesn't apply to my situation." Robin said. "No matter how powerful I become, I can't kill an enemy that doesn't exist. I can't defeat an evil that's no more than a manipulation."
He grew silent for a long moment, struggling to form words and shaking his head as if to dispel an ache. Kjelle felt sorry for him. Whatever was happening was difficult for him. It was also too complex for her to address in any way other than the anger she knew best.
After a few shaky breaths, Robin found the courage to speak. "Grima is dead."
Kjelle blinked, her immense anger giving way to confusion in an instant. "What? What do you mean?"
"Someone killed Grima before the Plegian war began. That someone also left books here for me to learn about everything. I don't know if it was one of your friends or the woman in the grey, but the woman knew about it. She told me that everything I do is on me, not Grima. That's what I hid when I destroyed sections of her journal."
"Grima is dead." Kjelle slowly repeated, and Robin nodded. "That… what kind of a joke is this? It's one of the worst you've made. Only someone with the powers of a god or a dragon's own blood can kill said dragon. None of my friends are godly or fellblood."
"Grima was born of Naga's blood." Robin explained. "Long ago, an alchemist by the name of Forneus used the corpse of a dragon, his own blood, and that of Naga to create Grima. Grima killed Forneus and seized control of the other risen he had created. He controlled them via an insect called a thanatophage that squirms into their brain and assumes control over their motor functions. This is also stuff I've researched but kept hidden, from you and everyone else."
"The risen are nothing more than a bunch of bugs?" Kjelle asked in cautious disbelief. "Bullshit. I've seen people turn into risen without having a bug crawl into their head. There's no way something like that would go unnoticed."
"Originally, there were masks made from the thanatophages that, alongside Forneus' magic, exerted control over the risen." Robin continued to explain. "They've advanced from that into no longer needing masks. Maybe they've evolved further than needing thanatophages, somehow."
"Basilio's headache…" Kjelle murmured to herself, already rationalising Robin's claims. "No, that can't be. That would mean the thanatophage was controlling his thoughts, too, unless that's how they've changed."
"That isn't the important part of this." Robin said. "What matters is that Grima shares Naga's blood. Therefore, so too does everyone who has made a pact with Grima, and vice versa for everyone who's made a pact with Naga. Those who bear Grima's blood can slay Naga, and those who bear Naga's blood can fell Grima. The pages of the journal I destroyed suggested that Naga was unaware of this fact."
"But you failed to kill Naga. If what you're saying is true, you should've been able to slay her when you tried at Mount Prism." Kjelle interjected.
"Unless Grima was already dead by that point, which would have severed its pacts." Robin said. "That's why Naga was alive when we met her. Whoever killed her wanted me to see that I no longer held a tie to Grima, and that I was too weak to kill her by way of my own power. They were strong enough, though. They've slain gods."
Kjelle narrowed her gaze on Robin, and without warning she darted her hand forward to rip away Robin's right glove. The glove strangely fell away without need for extraneous force, though she applied said force anyway. Robin's glove as well as the arm of his cloak appeared to have been sliced cleanly through. His arm underneath now bore a large bandage wrap that had stained itself red despite his use of healing potions.
"Explain this, then." Kjelle said, ignoring Robin's wound and drawing his attention toward the dormant Mark of Grima. "Pacts between dragons and gods bear marks, insignias to denote the dragon involved. If Grima is dead, you shouldn't have this."
"The mark will remain until every last person bearing Grima's blood are annihilated. That means all of the Grimleal as well as everyone who was born into a pact with Naga, like Chrom." Robin said. "You remember how the mark was freaking out when we first met, and quieted down once Flavia had killed the Grimleal leaders in Plegia? It was doing that because I was the next greatest conduit Grima's magic. Now, it's only faded lines of grey, as it'll always be going forward."
Kjelle pushed his hand away rather than let it drop amicably. "You want to leave everything behind and die because of some insane theory about a literal undead god being dead!?"
"Things will be better for everyone without me!" Robin refuted, matching her raised tone. "I can't explain it, but I can feel that things were the same in your time - that your Robin or someone overcame Grima, only for everything to be met with ruin regardless! If I live, your future will come to pass! Flavia and Basilio are already dead because of me!"
"Will you shut up about that already!?" Kjelle yelled, catching herself before she could physically lash out at him. "Flavia knew the risks of her mission! Chrom knows the risks of going to war! Everyone knows the risks of putting faith in someone else! You can't betray that trust!"
Robin hesitated. Had he not known better, he could have sworn that Kjelle's voice was near faltering, and not from anger. He dismissed that thought and continued to reinforce his decision.
"No one should be at risk of dying because they trust someone. I'm not going to be the one to harm the people I care about!" he said. "This is my choice and mine alone to make! Why can't you go back to acting like you were when we met!? Why won't you let me die!?"
"Because… because…!" Kjelle stammered, hesitating for a long second before failing to form words entirely. At that point she lashed out violently at Robin's chest. Robin winced from the hit and recoiled away from her fist before coughing into his hand.
"What the hell, Kjelle!?" he shouted through another cough, only to be punched again. "That hurts, godsdamnit! Stop!"
"Oh, so that's what hurts you!? Not dying, but getting hurt? That's where you draw the line!?" Kjelle said. "You're more prepared to die than to take a hit? You're seriously willing to do this? No - fuck that and fuck you, Robin. You can't choose to die and leave everything behind!"
Kjelle made to punch him again, but Robin backed out of her range. Kjelle's hands clenched and she seethed hatred in his direction, though she knew that she was on the verge of fracturing. She didn't want Robin to see that.
"Do you think I'm not afraid to die!? I know it's going to hurt worse than anything I've felt before!" Robin responded, matching the force behind her words. "I have to do this because if I live, more people will be hurt and killed! Why can't you see that!? Why do you care so much about keeping me alive!?"
"Because I don't want you to die! I don't-!" Kjelle began, though she soon cut herself off and squeezed her eyes shut. When she began speaking again, her voice was far quieter than her prior shouts. "There are people who care about you, Robin. Friends. People like Chrom and the Shepherds would be devastated to lose you. People like me."
Robin held his gaze on Kjelle, his mouth contorting in disgust. "How do you still not understand? I know that this is going to hurt! I know it's going to be terrible! Hell, I'm too much of a coward to do it myself for those exact reasons! It has to be done anyway!"
"No." Kjelle refuted, her tone definitive. "I won't let you. You can't die. If you try, I'll stop you. If you try to hurt anyone else, I'll stop you. I'm not going to let you give up and die!"
"You don't understand." Robin seethed. "I thought about killing Noire. And Nah. And you. I didn't want to, but I ended up thinking about it anyway. I can't escape it. I've thought similar things about Chrom for as long as I've known him."
"You don't want to hurt us, though - that's proven in you wanting to die." Kjelle said. "I'm serious about stopping you. I won't let you kill anyone, and I'm sure as hell not going to let you die."
She paused, considering what she should say next to best convey her feelings. Her considerations may have been more successful were she aware of what feelings she wished to convey.
"Everything we've done has meant too much for us to lose it." Kjelle said, her voice uncertain but trying to hold ground. "I don't… no one wants to lose you. It's something we wouldn't be able to handle. So, you aren't allowed to die. Ever."
Robin's gaze on Kjelle softened. Her words were something he had long considered and for which he had never found a perfect answer. When Frederick had long ago posed the idea of emotional damage, he had been put at an impasse. All he could hope was that his choice to protect his friends would outweigh the potential damage dealt. The excuse to live was an enticing one regardless.
"This can't happen, Kjelle. I can't live to hurt more people." Robin said. "If I see Chrom again, he'll be in danger. I may kill him. I may kill any number of Shepherds. That can't happen."
"Then I'll stop you. I promise." Kjelle said. "If I can't do that, then there's no way I could protect the Shepherds anyway."
Robin shook his head. "No, you still don't get it. Everything in my life, every single moment has been building up to this point. This is my destiny. This is how I rid the world of evil. This is how I win!"
"Bullshit." Kjelle muttered under her breath, too low for Robin to hear. She held her sight away from Robin's figure before she refocused on the man, at which point her gaze had steeled. "Tell me everything, Robin. Every lie and deception. Every shard of truth. Grima, the grey, the woman. All of it. Then, I'll make you see that it can all be overcome. If I have to, I'll force you to see. I'm not losing you - not as long as I have the power to stop this."
For an excruciatingly long period of time, Robin said and did nothing. Then, he sat himself on the ground, and patted the space in front of him to have Kjelle do the same. She refused to comply.
Robin sighed and began his explanation anyway. "The grey is a feeling. Nothing more, nothing less. There's no physical element to it, but its effects are substantial. Nausea, headaches, memory lapses, blackouts. I'm admittedly not sure how much of that I inflict upon myself to avoid responsibility for what happens. I've felt the grey for as long as I can remember - before I had learned about Grima and my own treachery. It's always been around in some form or another, and I know that I'll never be able to lose it. It's an integral part of me."
"I have no idea what the grey is beyond something messing up inside my head. I do know I'll never be free from what it causes." Robin continued. "There are the physical ailments, but those can be mitigated. The fear, though, that unparalleled feeling of horror and disgust whenever the grey pops up… it's inescapable. Those feelings make me act in the worst of ways."
"So it's this feeling of grey that makes you afraid you'll hurt people?" Kjelle asked, and Robin nodded. "What the hell kind of poetic bullshit is that? You feel sad and scared so you're going to do evil things? Come on, you of all people should be capable of getting a grip already."
"There's more to it than that. Way, way more." Robin said. "Its predominantly a feeling, sure, but I've also seen that fear. There are times where faces and shapes and voices feel like they don't belong. Sometimes people appear to me as literal manifestations of grey. I've seen soldiers look like that. I was so scared that at one point I killed an amicable soldier for appearing as a mess of grey."
"Even so, the grey is responsible." Kjelle said. "If you overcome it, then you won't be at risk of hurting anyone. You won't have to think that dying is the way to save them. So, why not try to feel better than you are now? Wouldn't that get rid of the grey?"
Robin narrowed his gaze on Kjelle in disbelief and subdued anger. "Excuse me? Why not just get better? Wow, thanks, Kjelle! I'm cured! I can't believe I never considered that before!" he said, his voice dripping with venomous sarcasm.
"How the hell am I supposed to know what to do!? I've never let my feelings get in the way of my goals!" Kjelle said, though she knew that she was lying to herself. She hoped that Robin didn't notice the same.
"Things aren't that easy. A good frame of mind can help, but it isn't a panacea." Robin said. "I'm also not in the terrible frame of mind that you think. I'm fully aware that this is going to hurt, and that other people won't fare well. I know that what in doing is horrible. At the same time, it's the only option I have left. I need to die for there to be a chance at saving my friends."
Kjelle gave a disapproving frown, though it was directed as much toward herself as Robin. She could tell that she was misinterpreting and failing to handle what Robin was saying, but she could only determine as such in hindsight.
"I don't care how many times I have to say this: you don't have to die to save people." Kjelle said. "I… I don't know what's happening here, or how I should be acting, or anything. All I know is that I won't permit you to die. There has to be some kind of way to beat this, to overpower it. We have to find that way."
"There's no overpowering something that doesn't exist outside of my head." Robin sighed, his lack of faith in Kjelle's words bleeding into his heavy breaths. "This isn't something we can fight - not like that. The only way to defeat it is for me to die."
Kjelle's frown deepened. Her mind raced to form a rebuttal, but failed. Until she recalled the pains brought about by Robin's hidden book. A pain she hoped was similar to what he had experienced, one that she wished would allow her to connect with him.
"There's a book I found today - one that was left for you in the royal library." she said, knowing that what followed would be a stretch but not caring. "It hurt to look at it, then hurt to look at anything else. That pain felt intangible, like you were saying."
"You found the books the woman left for me? How?"
"I stole a note from your cloak that day you passed out." Kjelle shrugged. "It seemed important, and so I followed it and found the book."
Robin's gaze flattened on her, though he was no longer surprised by her lack of boundaries. "Of course you did." he muttered under his breath.
"Why were you holding onto that thing, anyway?" Kjelle asked. "You had already read through the books, hadn't you? Why keep the note unless you intended for someone to find it?"
"There were numbers on the other side of the paper. Zero-five-zero-five. For some reason, that number felt more important and more grey than anything else I had beheld. I had to find out what it meant, so I carried the slip of paper around with me."
"You don't know what it means?" Kjelle asked, frowning again. "Ugh, why can't there be a straightforward response to any of this?"
"I'm trying my best to answer everything. I am." Robin assured her. "Some things are harder to put into words than others, though. I don't know how much I'll be able to tell you, even now. There's so much, and all of it is so difficult to think about."
"Tell me about the woman." Kjelle said. "She left those books for you, right? Provided that she does exist, there should be some kind of link between her, the books, and this grey of yours. Maybe she's at fault for all of this. Maybe she manipulated you like you tried to manipulate me."
"No, she would never do something like that." Robin said. "She cares about me. About all of us. She wouldn't do anything to hurt any Shepherd. She isn't at fault for this. It's all on me."
"Talk to me about her anyway." Kjelle said, rolling her eyes at Robin's incessant desire to defend the woman. "You keep forming a connotation between her and grey. There has to be a reason for that."
"There is, but it isn't what you want it to be. She isn't at fault." Robin said. "She didn't inflict me with the grey. I can't explain this part very well, but it feels like she's part of the grey, too. Like she's made of it. If there were to be anything tangible made from the grey, it'd be her."
Kjelle furrowed her brow as she attempted to understand what Robin was saying. If he was trying to make things understandable, he was doing a terrible job. "Are you saying that the woman doesn't exist? That she was in your head the entire time, too? Is that what you meant back in the desert, when you said that she spoke to you in your headaches?"
"No, she's real. She's definitely real." Robin said at haste. "She's spoken to me directly. I've interacted with a phantom of her when I had the nightmare at Mount Prism, and once more when I had a hallucination in the desert. She spoke to me once when we were travelling, right before I made the failed portal. I don't know how, or what kind of spell she may have used, but she was able to see through my eyes. She saw what I was doing. She saw you."
Kjelle's expression shifted from scrutiny to concern. "That's… disturbing. You're certain that she's an actual person, and that she's been monitoring me?"
"Not monitoring you, but she did see you. And she is real." Robin said. "One of the reasons I realised she was from your time was because she recognised you. That was when I knew she had sent Flavia the letters on you and your friends, too. I didn't want to remember what had happened then, but for some reason, I feel like I can face it now."
"You're welcome." Kjelle said cheekily, a smile matching her voice and causing Robin to roll his eyes. She then moved to sit down next to Robin, her smile dying as she lowered herself to the ground. "This woman… if she does exist and was the one powerful enough to kill Naga, is it possible that she was the reason your magic that day was so strong? That failed portal almost killed us."
"That's the best answer I can think of, yes." Robin nodded. "However, transmitting magic at such a range is itself a remarkable feat. It was still powerful enough to rend the world. She's one of the reasons I know that I'll be leaving the Shepherds in safety if I die."
"'If' is better than 'when'. It's a start." Kjelle murmured, her voice low before it snapped back to an audible volume. "What if she wasn't far away? That kind of power isn't normal, and at such a range would be god-like. What if she was in Ferox, somewhere nearby, and we didn't notice?"
Robin shook his head. "She said she was in Valm, and she wouldn't lie. She also said she wanted to help, but that Walhart required some kind of monitoring and aid. She may be related to why Valm is attacking. I don't doubt that she's doing all she can to avoid conflict, but sometimes, it's necessary."
"She's in Valm, working with Walhart? She told you this!?" Kjelle asked incredulously, her mind refusing to accept the revelation as fact until Robin verified his statement with a nod. "That means she's our enemy! She's working against us! Hell, she probably set up that failed portal on purpose to try to kill us!"
"No! She would never do something like that!" Robin leapt to the woman's defense. "She's nothing but aid us! She was taking control of risen and helping us at the Isle of Lost Souls, and she was the one who cleared the island! She isn't evil!"
"She was the one to do that? From Valm? How can you trust someone so obscenely powerful?" Kjelle asked. "It's already such a risk to trust someone who's more powerful than you, but someone you've never met? That's insane!"
"Are you still evaluating people based solely on their strength?" Robin asked, more from curiosity than judgement, though traces of the latter were present. "Didn't you get over that? People more powerful than you can be trusted as much as anyone else."
"If I'm not the one with the most power, then I don't know if the people I care for are secure. I have ti be able to protect them." Kjelle said. "I know that's not how someone like you or Lucina would think, but you have to acknowledge the truth in what I'm saying. What if the woman decides to attack the Shepherds, despite all your talk about loving them?"
"She won't." Robin reiterated, this time with more force. "If she were to, then… I don't know. I feel like it wouldn't be intentional. I wouldn't hate her for doing something against her will like that."
"Yet you would hate yourself for it." Kjelle sighed and shook her head. "Okay. Let's pretend for a moment that the woman is the source of your issues. We know she's in Valm, babying Walhart and his legion as he prepares for the invasion. Meeting her can be a goal for you. An objective that keeps your mind on track. How about it? Want to come to Valm, find the woman, and get some answers?"
"Do you seriously think that having a goal in mind will prevent me from inadvertently hurting someone? Seriously?"
"When I train, I can think of nothing but finishing my set." Kjelle said, bringing a fist to her chest in pride and as an unsubtle attempt to flex. "Once I have that goal set, I lose track of everything else until it's time for my routine to end. Maybe that kind of focus will help you out, too."
Robin narrowed his gaze, gauging Kjelle's authenticity. "There's no guarantee that the woman knows anything. She knows more than you or I, but that doesn't mean she has all the answers. Finding her may prove as useless as staying here and doing nothing."
"She knows something, though. Something is better than nothing." Kjelle argued.
"If I see Chrom again, there's a high chance that I'll hurt or kill him. There's a sickening feeling of dread inside me that's gotten worse every time I've seen him. It's now practically unbearable. If I leave this castle and go to the port, I may end up killing him before Valmese forces reach the coast."
"Except that you don't want to, and you're in control, so you won't." Kjelle said, earning herself a disapproving frown from Robin. "Besides, I was serious about stopping you. I've trained with you for so long. I think it's time I put my skills into practice. If you're ever in danger of hurting someone, I'll stop you and ensure that everyone involved comes to no harm."
Robin's expression wavered between hopeful belief and utter contempt. "Why are you trying so hard? I'm offering you the perfect solution to all of your problems. I, the liar and murderer who once destroyed the Shepherds, will be eliminated. Everyone will have a chance at safety and happiness that they wouldn't have otherwise had. Why wouldn't you want that?"
"How many times are you going to make me say this? I'm keeping everyone alive, including you." Kjelle said. "That means you can't die, and neither can anyone else."
"One day, you'll hate that you've said that." Robin muttered as his gaze lost focus. He then gave a forceful sigh, stretched back, and plopped his back squarely on the ground. "I don't want to die, Kjelle. I want to help people. I'm more afraid of dying than anything I've ever faced. If I don't die here, if you won't kill me, then I may not have the guts to try this again. I'll have to stay far away from the Shepherds. I truly appreciate what you're trying to do here by having me talk through this, but that only goes so far. I can't accompany you to the port."
"Wait, I'm having you talk through this?" Kjelle asked herself. "Huh. I guess I am. I didn't know I was doing that."
"Thanks anyway. It's helped, even if I know I can't stay with my friends." Robin said. He moved his hands under his head and stared skyward. "I should've been ready for you to kill me, but I'm still so scared. I'm sorry."
"You still don't get the point of this, do you?" Kjelle asked. "You're not dying, and you're not running away. Someone like you shouldn't be acting the coward. Don't you think Chrom deserves an explanation for what you're doing? Doesn't everyone?"
"Chrom's explanation was in that letter you stole." Robin said. "Knowing him, he would've given that same explanation to everyone else in the Shepherds."
"It's a shame you'll have to tell him in person, then." Kjelle said. She stretched toward the discarded letter and ripped it to shreds. She then stood and extended a hand toward Robin. "Come on. We have to prep for some travel."
Robin raised an eyebrow at her, then returned his gaze to the night sky. "I have an enchantment that reverses time. You haven't forgotten that, have you? Tearing the page does nothing but waste time and energy."
"Ah. Right. Forgot about that for a second." Kjelle said before reinforcing her gesture toward Robin. "Let's at least go for a run or train or something. I feel like I need to clear my head for a bit, but I'm not going to stop talking with you until I've convinced you to come to Port Ferox."
Robin continued to ignore her hand. "I'll go to Port Ferox, stay with the Shepherds, and go to Valm on one condition. If you can't meet that condition, then there's no deal, and I'm staying far away from them all. Got it?"
"What's the condition?" Kjelle asked before making any solid assertions.
"If I do anything to hurt anyone in the Shepherds, you'll kill me. No wasting time and no talking me out of dying. If I come to you and say that I'm afraid I'll hurt someone, you kill me. Understood?"
Kjelle held still for a long moment before nodding her head. She was fine with lying if it meant saving Robin. "Sounds good. You're joining me when I work out, though. I'll make sure you don't have the energy to hurt anyone, if nothing else. Apart from battles, of course."
"Ugh, that's going to be worse than Frederick's routine, isn't it?" Robin groaned through a hidden smile. "Whatever. It's a deal. I'll be certain to hold you accountable when the time comes."
"It won't." Kjelle said. Her hand remained in the air, waiting to meet with Robin's. "Come on. We have a lot to take care of, and I want to get a little training in. Especially since I'll be adding magic to my usual regimen."
"Can we not do anything right now?" Robin asked, his voice quiet. "I'll try my best in the morning, I promise, but for now I don't think I can do anything. All I want is to sleep."
Kjelle waited a moment longer before accepting that nothing would happen with a small sigh. She withdrew her hand and lowered herself to the ground next to Robin, mimicking his relaxed position.
"Fine. I'm not leaving you alone, though." she said. "I don't care if this is another breach of your boundaries or whatever; I'm staying here."
"That's fine by me." Robin yawned. "I'd grab you a blanket or something, but it's been a long day. I don't know how much I can move anymore…"
Kjelle yawned after him, shivering as she realised how cold the night was without the heat of her rage. "I'll be fine. A little cold is nothing."
"Yeah." Robin hummed his agreement, his eyes drooping shut. "Hey, Kjelle? Thanks for talking with me."
"Of course. That's… that's what friends do." Kjelle said, uncertain of why she was tripping over her own words.
Robin nodded off into sleep within seconds, leaving Kjelle to the cold of the night and her thoughts. Over time, she inched herself toward Robin, revelling in the heat he offered. She stopped when she had pressed her side against his.
"Robin… I don't want to lose you."
Hey, it's the second part of last chapter, AKA the one that's supposed to explain most of the story so far! Hooray. There's still a lot that needs to be explained/revealed, but that'll come in time.
Robin and Kjelle are both intended to be near the end of their wits this chapter. Kjelle found out about Robin's lie after nearly dying, Robin was gravely wounded for the first time in his memory and couldn't face Chrom, and both encountered risen versions of old friends. That was all not only to support the potential conflict Robin and Kjelle could have, but also to indicate how much and how close they've grown by being able to react responsibly under their circumstances.
At least, that's what I wanted to show. There's no guarantee it's what I actually conveyed, but it's what I tried.
Status: As of 21-05-19, I'm on chapter 36. Not much progress has been made, sadly. I keep taking forever to work on this for no real reason.
Thanks for reading!
