Okay, question answering time for all you readers out there who happened to ask me questions:
1. Between Annick and Finnie I choose Finnie, Annick is my friend's French name in class.
2. Who do I want to play Finnick in the movie? -Well, there's two. Jeremy Sumpter (played Peter Pan in 2003) would be brilliant. People don't usually think of him, but I think he'd do an amazing job. Or Alex Pettyfer because I think he's the most beautiful thing alive. Acting wise we havent seen his top work yet, but honestly the 'arrogant prostiute with a heart of gold' isn't as hard to portray as people think. Even when he sort of loses it, it's not hard to portray. Trust me, my family is all about acting. It's easy to do something so different from the norm because few people really know what it's like anyway.
3. I'm a little confused with what's going on with this youtube idea that has been brought up, but I just want everyone to remember that this story belongs to moi and on fanfiction, and I really don't want it or parts of it reposted elsewhere, I appreciate that no one has yet :). I don't know if that's what was proposed, but I thought I'd throw that out there. Please don't repost any parts of this story in places.
4. Am I going to write another book? -For fanfiction, probably not. But I do plan on writing a book to be published, so if I ever do happen to publish one I'll post a chapter on here and tell you guys about it :)
5. I don't like giving out my personal information, but to those of your who have been asking, I'm a lifeguard and I'm going into film and media arts.
6. And lastly, how many chapters left? Well, I don't know. I am not that organized and sometimes I just decide to end a chapter half way through an idea. I just want you guys to know I have NOOOO interest in rewriting the hunger games series from Finnick and Annie's POV, so when it gets to that point there's going to be a lot of skipping around and fast fowarding to the parts that only effect the storyline between Finnick and Annie. You all know what happens in those books anyway, so it's not neccissary for me to reconstruct it. Plus, it would just be really time consuming. Like I said, I don't know how many more chapters are left, but we're definatley 'over the hump'.
Thanks for your interest and questions! Also thanks for reading and all your really generous comments! Happy reading!
28
Mending Broken Glass
Mags and I were sitting in the waiting room…waiting. It was two days since Annie won the Hunger Games. We still hadn't been allowed to see her.
"And what about…you know…her mind?"
The doctor who was always looming around her room pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and looked at me smartly. "Right now the most important thing is a long, dreamless sleep. We can't analyze her psychological state until she is ready to wake."
"But—"
"The mind is a fragile thing," he cut over me, "sometimes when it's broken, you can't always get the pieces to fit back together. She'll experience some post-traumatic stress—you know from your own experience—but over time the dreams and hallucinations should die down. Unfortunately there's no way to be sure she'll make a full recovery. Most likely not."
"So she's going to be like this…forever?"
"I said that the symptoms reduce."
I ran my fingers through my hair and then let it slide down my face and fall to my side. "What can I do…we do to help?"
"Right now?" he gave me an exasperated look, "You can let me do my job. We'll keep you informed on her condition."
So that was that. When we pulled Annie out of the arena, they took her away the second we landed. Ivan was in the hallway talking into a tiny earpiece but shut up when I approached.
"You guys flooded the arena," I stated firmly. He raised his eyebrows at me.
"The arenas are designed long before the tributes are selected, the flood was nothing that I or President Snow instructed."
"Sure."
I started to walk away when his voice stopped me. "Haven't you been punished enough, Mr. Odair? Or are you a glutton for it?"
"Excuse me?"
"You could have let her die, peacefully maybe, in her right mind. But no, ever since you've been begging to sign up for a life that's not your own. Caring for someone who can't care for themselves. What's more you've been resigned to torture that poor girl for the rest of her life. It seems to me a little…barbaric."
"You're calling me barbaric?" What I wouldn't give to wipe that smug little grin off his face. "You threw her into that blood pit and you're calling me the barbarian?"
"Yes." He smiled and waved me away, "Now go see to your crazy girl before she bludgers herself to death on her gurney."
So now, two days later, here I was. In the waiting room. Waiting.
"Finnick Odair?" a woman in a white coat called. I stood up and walked to her.
"That's me."
As if she didn't already know.
She smiled and walked away, her heels clicking across the tile floor. I followed, hoping this had something to do with Annie. She led me into a white room with shelves full of supplies and closed the door. As soon as the lock clicked, my sensors went up.
"What's all this about?" I asked suspiciously. She smiled, pulling her thin red lips up into tight little dimples.
"I'm scheduled to give Ms. Cresta her psychoanalyses when she wakes up. If you want her to be well taken care of…well…first—"
"First you want to be well taken care of."
Her smile deepened. There was no way I could make her prove she was telling the truth, but I didn't have a lot of options. Either I could try and argue my point, or stay and just get it over with. In my case, the latter was the faster route.
I didn't bother kissing her, that was too personal. I grabbed her coat angrily and shoved her against the wall. What was it she was conveying? Fear? I burned my eyes into hers, let her feel the hatred, and then tore off her jacket with one swift motion. The rest came naturally.
"Don't threaten me again," I told her in a low voice, once it was all over. I closed the door behind me and stormed out of the hospital wing. Mags would call me when Annie was awake.
I know it sounds sad and pathetic, but that night I actually held a pillow. I thought I'd have Annie back by this point…the loneliness was getting to me. I thought I was starting to go mad myself.
"Hey, Fin," Marina said sadly, sitting at the edge of my bed. I sat up in surprise.
"Marina…you wouldn't believe what's been happening here."
Am I really looking for consolation from a dead girl? You know, she's in your head Finnick. You're just talking to yourself.
"I know, Fin, I know. It's rough."
I looked at her, how the moonlight caught her skin. "I miss you," I said suddenly. She looked up, her short wavy hair catching her nose and she smiled.
"No you don't. You're just lonely right now."
"Lonely, are you?"
Now that's a voice I haven't heard in a while.
"Celeste."
She appeared out of the shadows, more beautiful than I had even remembered. Often in the Capitol, if anyone had asked me about Celeste, they referred to her jokingly as the Black Widow, for the way she seduced Hector and then killed him. I guess that's why, as she came before me now, she had a red hourglass sewn to the shirt on her stomach.
"Isn't this loneliness sort of your fault?" she pressed, sitting next to Marina. I stared at her, now sure what to expect. And that's why I was surprised when she crawled up on the bed on all fours, coming for me. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders in a thick wavy sheet, her eyes glinting provocatively in the pale light. "Come on Fin," she whispered, "take care of me."
"What…"
"It's what you do, isn't it?" she smiled and twisted her head to the side, "Prostitute."
The word sent chills down my spine. "Go away," I told her, a little too weakly. She shook her head and then in one sweep, dragged her tongue from my pelvis all the way up to the dip in my neck. I was frozen, waiting for her to grow fangs and suck the blood out of me.
"Come on," she whispered, her breath cooling the trail she left across my chest, "it's not like it means anything to you, anyway. Right, prostitute?"
"Go away," I said again, more firmly. She smiled and shook her head, undoing my pants without breaking eye contact. I tensed. Where was Marina? She disappeared…
"Oo, very impressive," she mocked, giving me a wink. I cringed and tried to ease away, but she stopped me with a hand to the chest. "Ah, ah, ahhh," she shook her head, "Sorry. You're mine, my little Golden Boy."
She straddled my lap and I closed my eyes, willing myself to dream of something, anything else. I got enough of this senseless kind of thing without it infiltrating my dreams too.
"Finnyboy."
I didn't open my eyes.
"Look at me!" she demanded. I refused.
"Look at me right now."
I sighed and slowly opened my eyes, expecting to see Celeste's face. But I was surprised to find Marina's blue eyes blinking back at me.
"Marina? But…"
She was clothed, and when I looked down so was I. So I guess my dream did change after all. "Sh," she cooed, stroking the side of my face, "It's okay. Everything is going to be okay, Finnick."
I fell into the crook of her neck and let her comfort me. What other choice did I have? "Annie might never be the same," I moaned, "I tried so hard not to lose her. But I did."
She laid me down and then laid down in front of me, keeping her hand rested against the side of my face. "Listen," she said in a soft voice, "even if the Annie you know isn't there in the day, you can always visit her at night. In your dreams."
I laughed because it was so ridiculous. "That's silly."
"Your Annie is in your mind. At night, you walk the pathways of your mind and have the adventures of your subconscious. Of course she will be there, you won't even have to ask. Don't worry about the future right now Finnick. Just be there for her. At least she's alive."
I nodded and then held her to me. I know it's strange to have a dream about lying down with someone and just trying to sleep, but I did, and it was comforting. For some reason the people who kept me the best company were those too fragile to save themselves.
O-o-o-o-o-o-o
Another day went by. And then finally, the doctor came in with his clipboard.
"Mr. Odair, she wants to see you."
I followed behind him, ringing my hands nervously. What should I expect? We walked down a short hallway that seemed to last forever and finally he stopped. "Right through here. Keep it simple. We'll be monitoring her vitals."
I nodded and then walked through the sliding doors. At first the room was so large and blindingly white that I couldn't even see straight. But after blinking my eyes clear, I found her bed and rushed over to her. I noticed her arms and legs were strapped down, poking out thinly from a flimsy, mint colored sheet.
"Annie," I smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. She tensed immediately and the machine behind her beeped a little faster for a moment. I pulled away, furrowing my eyebrows. She looked thin, haunted, and dazed. Could it be she doesn't know who I am?
"Annie, it's me, Finnick," I tried, holding out my hands. She blinked at me and then down at my hands.
"Troy's dead," she told me hollowly, like air passing through dry reeds, "he lost his head. The monster took it. There was a liar fire that licked my skin but it wasn't there it was a liar. I wanted to tell you that."
Guilt and pity washed over me. Could she really be this broken?
"Do you know where you are?" I asked, trying to find some simple things to ask her.
"In a bed." She looked at me suddenly as if she remembered something really important, "But I was in a river," she whispered, "my blood made snakes to swim and slither."
"You're very good at rhyming," I told her calmly, patting her hand. She tried to pull it away but she was stopped by the restraints. I tried to hide my emotions and went for another question.
"Do you understand what's going on?"
"The game's the same every year. I won, it's gone, and now I'm here."
"Yes…and?"
"And now you're here too."
"Yes, I am."
"Why?"
"You asked for me, Annie."
She blinked and looked upset. What did I say?
"Anyone can ask for anything but that doesn't mean they get it. You came here when I asked, but that doesn't answer why."
I smiled sadly and fought the urge to touch her again. It's like she wasn't real and my fingers were trying to figure out if she was actually there in the physical. "Because I love you, Annie."
"And I love you too, right?"
That stung. I bit my lip and forced any strong emotions down again. "Well, you said you did."
"You didn't believe me?"
"No, I did…just…now…"
"Now."
I tightened my fist, "Yes. Now."
"Why did Troy kiss me?" she asked in a misty voice. Flames licked my insides and I had to take a moment before I could answer calmly.
"I suspect he probably loved you a little bit, too."
She blinked again and tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh, Annie, I'm sorry," I groaned, trying to wave away the tears without touching her, "I didn't mean to upset you, we shouldn't talk about him."
"Did you ever notice that I hum?" she choked, looking up at me with her watery eyes.
"What?"
"Did you ever notice that I sing when I do stuff, like cook?"
I didn't know how to answer her. I mean, I guess I did but I just never made a note of it. Why was it important?
"I guess…"
"Touch me, Finnick," she whimpered, looking at me desperately. "Put your hand on my face."
I reached out and gently rested my fingertips on her cheek. She was shaking and the machines were beeping. She started clutching my arms almost like she was choking and that was her throat. "Annie, are you okay?"
"Scream scream scream, it's all a bad dream," she said shakily, her voice hitting a strange pitch, "Hide hide hide, I can't go outside. The Monster is hunting me."
"Annie, there's no—"
"SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE I CAN'T ESCAPE!" she screamed, thrashing and straining against the belts keeping her down. I tried to pin down her chest, but it just seemed to upset her more.
"WHERE'S TROY? POOR TROY IS DEAD, HIS BODY LEFT WITHOUT HIS HEAD!"
"Annie! You're okay! Come back!" I called to her, but she ignored me.
"I'M BROKEN GLASS, LOVE, JUST LET ME PASS."
I frowned and then was yanked away by a set of arms behind me, Annie still having a fit until suddenly she quieted and sank down into the covers, asleep. Morphling. The doors shut and I spun around.
"Are you happy?" I said angrily, "she's miserable. It's your fault."
The doctor pulled his lips to one side and scribbled something down on his notebook. "Well at least we know where she is mentally now. Odair, I guess now is as good a time as any to warn you that any…uhm…physical contact with Ms. Cresta in the future is probably not a chance at this point."
I pushed their hands off me and started to storm off. "All you people care about is sex," I growled, "I'm going to love Annie no matter what, so you'd better help her."
I slammed the doors shut after that.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
The Capitol was getting impatient. Annie needed to do her interview and recap of the games, as well as the crowning ceremony. It was finally decided that they would shoot her up with drugs so she could just float mindlessly on stage and at least be unemotional enough to not have a fit. I didn't like the idea, but I couldn't fight them on it. So after Mags and I got dressed, Garcia had us go down to the medical center to greet her. She was walking, her arms linked with an avox that was helping her move straight. She looked healthier, as far as her skin and stuff goes, she had no scars even from her broken leg. I wonder how they mended the bone so fast? I noticed a slight limp in her gate, so I guess it wasn't all perfect.
"Hi Annie," Mags said warmly, giving her a smile. She took her eyes from the ceiling and looked at Mags and then smiled too. I stood there silently, but I grinned for her in hopes she would return it. But she didn't even look at me before the stylists ran up and dragged her away.
"Come on honey," Mags took my hand, "let's go wait for her to get out."
We waited in chairs, and several times my stylist came up to fix my hair because I kept running my hand through it. Finally the door opened and she emerged dreamily.
"You look beautiful!" Mags exclaimed in a gentle voice. Annie's eyes swayed and then found her and she smiled. Her dress was made of frothy green and white fabric that billowed at the slightest movement. The top was fitted and twisted up the front to look like wings folded over her chest. Emeralds adorned her ears and hair and made her sparkle. The makeup added that glow she lost after the arena as well.
"Green's definitely your color," I said with a smile. She looked at me and her smile fell a little, but at least she didn't frown. We walked her to the part of stage where she would enter from. We ended up just hooking arms with her because the drugs made it hard for her to walk straight.
"Okay, Annie, it'll all be over soon and then you can go home. You're going to be just fine out there," I told her firmly, looking into her eyes. She was staring at a point above me, then beside me, and then finally looked directly at me.
"Okay." Her voice was barely more than a hushed whisper. We left to take our seats and she was raised onto the stage. The audience clapped and cheered as she stood there, still as a stone, on stage. Caesar, in all his good humor, made a show about being lucky enough to be the one to fetch her. I was thankful he could cover so well, because he was going to have to. Once he'd walked her up the set and let her sit down on the chair, the show began.
"You look lovely tonight," Caesar told her. She was wringing her wrists in anxiety and looked at him a touch out of focus.
"Thank you." Well, at least there was microphones.
Suddenly the recap began and my heart sank. How could I have forgotten that they were going to recap the games, there, on stage in front of Annie. I exchanged a look with Mags and then back down the stage to Annie.
The drugs probably were keeping her from feeling any rash emotions because she didn't start screaming or running around. But at some point between the Cornucopia and Troy's beheading—which I'll admit was horrific—she started crying. Silently, but still crying. The fact that it made no sound made it more heartbreaking. I was thankful they skipped the parts she was by herself singing. It ended with Gerod almost drowning her but then dying, declaring her the winner while she was still underwater. When the focus was turned back onto the stage, Annie's tears had collected on her hands and continued to fall in a steady stream. Caesar decided it was best then not to ask questions and just helped her stand so that Snow could come and crown her. I didn't relish the idea of her ever touching her, but at least it meant it was over.
"Congratulations on your victory, Miss Annie Cresta," he said earnestly, kissing her hand. Everyone clapped and cheered and she was taken off stage immediately. I rushed down through the crowd to find her. She hadn't stopped crying yet.
"You did a top notch job Annie," Garcia chirped, leading her up through the base of the stage. She followed silently behind, dropping tears as she went. If anyone in the audience had known the games were rigged to save her, they didn't show it. They just appreciated her endearing nature, pitied her mental state, and remarked how they'd wished for a bloodier ending.
Finally we stopped and the stylists started to take her away to get changed, when she pulled her hands away. "I want him to come," she whispered, pointing to me. Finally, I was getting some notice. They looked confused but I waved them on, following behind. When we got to the changing room, they carefully removed her dress and undid the gems in her hair. I looked at the floor even though I'd basically seen it before just out of respect. Plus, we weren't supposed to be in love here, not in front of the Capitolists. Once she'd been slipped into a thin white dress, I looked up to find her staring at me, still crying. The team wanted so badly to wash her face, but they weren't sure if they should even touch her.
"Give us a minute," I told them, throwing my most charming smile. They looked at one another like birds and then scampered out, closing the door with a reluctant click.
"Annie, are you okay?" I asked kindly, standing up so I could be closer to her. She followed me with her teary eyes and squeezed her hands together.
"I don't like this," she said in her small voice.
"You don't like what?"
She looked around for a second and then leaned in a little, "I'm trapped inside my head. What's in my head can't get out of my lips. It's like a cork in my mouth."
I stared at her, "I understand. It's just the drugs Annie, they'll wear off."
She moved her eyes to my lips, and then my chest. She reached out with her thin white arm and placed her fingertips over my heart.
"Thud thud thud," she whispered, almost inaudibly. She took her hand away then and looked back to my eyes. "I'm hurting you," she said miserably. It was only then did I catch how poorly I'd been hiding my emotions this time.
"No, Annie, it's okay…"
"I'm hurting you every time you see me," she whimpered, more tears flowing down her face. I wrapped my arms around her and held her there, feeling that whoosh of relief that came with finally doing something you've been waiting a long time to do. She nuzzled down into the crook of my neck and said, "I want to go home."
"Soon, Annie, soon."
