Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Bioware.
Chapter 27: Grounded
Year: 2183CE
Location: Citadel Council Chamber
As the symbolic center of the galactic power, the Council Chamber was a place most would consider an honor to visit. But that place felt too eerily peaceful to Shepard. With those soothing fountains and cherry trees on the top level, and the perfectly maintained indoor garden on the lower level, the entire tower was almost surreal. In a place like this, it was easy to forget about all the troubles out there. No one knew what a Reaper was, and only a few knew about Saren and his Geth. Shepard was disgusted by wide-spread ignorance. Someone was censoring information, and Shepard didn't like it a bit.
At least now she had a chance to set things right.
For the first time since her induction, Shepard once again came face to face with the three representatives.
"Good job, Shepard," said Udina. "Thanks to you, the Council's finally taking real action against Saren!"
"The ambassador is correct," said Tevos. "If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel – as you believe – we will be ready for him."
What? Shepard frowned. Something wasn't right.
"Patrols are stationed at every mass relay linking Citadel space to the Terminus Systems," Sparatus told her.
While the turian Councilor seemed to be pleased with the plan, Shepard almost snorted at its idiocy. "You think a blockade's going to stop him? He's on Ilos looking for the Conduit right now! What are you doing about that?"
"Ilos is only accessible through the Mu Relay, deep inside the Terminus Systems, Commander," Valern reminded her. "If we send a fleet in there, the only possible outcome is full-scale war."
"You wouldn't even have a chance to start a full-scale war if Saren found the Conduit," Shepard pointed out the hole in the salarian logic.
"Now is the time for discretion, Commander," Udina urged. "Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy. Exposed, he is no longer a threat. This is over."
Shut up, Udina! What do you know about war?! Shepard wanted to say but she refrained. "Secrecy is not his greatest weapon," Shepard corrected the ambassador sharply. "The Conduit is!"
"Saren is a master manipulator," said Valern. "The Conduit is just a distraction from his real plan to attack the Citadel."
"That is not his real plan!"
"That's what he wants you to think, Commander," Valern insisted. "He knows you're after him, and he's sending you to a place no one has ever been in four thousand years, hoping you'll bring a fleet with you, leaving the Citadel vulnerable for his attack."
No, this isn't happening. They're denying everything... Shepard had to think and she had to think fast. "Fine, I understand your concern. One ship going into the Terminus System won't start a war. I'll go," she volunteered. She would stick to her original plan to head there with only her ship and her crew, nothing had changed except this little detour to the Citadel, which was now proven to be a huge waste of time.
"This is a matter that requires discretion, Commander," said the salarian representative.
"Councilor Valern, I can be discrete," said Shepard.
That smirk on Sparatus' face was hard to miss. "You detonated a nuclear device on Virmire," the turian reminded her. "I wouldn't call that discrete."
"That was necessary! The situation was dire and we didn't have time for a more elegant solution," Shepard defended that decision. "STG suffered great losses, and I lost a member of my own team on Virmire, Councilor Sparatus. I did not make that call lightly."
"Destruction follows you around, Shepard. I believe there is a charming term you humans have... something about an animal in a shop."
"A bull in a china shop," Udina provided helpfully, "which, I'm sad to say, describes the commander quite accurately."
"Enough," Tevos stopped the argument before it started. "The commander has performed admirably so far. Your style serves you well in the Traverse, Commander. We recognized that..."
There was a 'but' coming, Shepard could almost hear it.
As expected, the asari continued with a 'but', "But Ilos requires a deft touch. We have the situation under control."
"Do you?" Shepard asked, suppressing the burning rage building up inside, but it was a losing battle. "Do you really have the situation under control? Or are you just in denial?"
"Shepard," Udina warned.
Shepard ignored him. "With all due respect, Councilors, you don't even recognize the real threat here. Sovereign is the real threat! Saren is just a servant of the Reapers."
"Only you have seen the 'Reapers.' And then only in vision," said Tevos. "We won't invade the Terminus System because of a dream."
"It's not a dream!" Shepard corrected her, her voice sharpened a few notches. "Those beacons were used by Protheans to store messages. What I encountered were two of their messages, warnings about Reapers. Dr. Liara T'Soni could verify this information for you."
"And Dr. T'Soni is also one of your crew, Commander," said Sparatus. "I could hardly call that unbiased."
"You don't really know what is at stake, do you?" Shepard shook her head in disbelief at the turian. "If Saren finds the Conduit, we're all screwed! We have to go to Ilos!"
"Ambassador Udina," said Sparatus, "I get the sense Commander Shepard isn't willing to let this go."
"There are serious political implications here, Shepard," warned Udina. "Humanity's made great gains thanks to you. But now you're becoming more trouble than you're worth."
Shepard narrowed her eyes at the ambassador. "Political implications? Is that all you think about?! Humanity is doomed because of you!"
"Hardly." Udina waved her off. "You've done your job, now let me do mine. We've locked out all the Normandy's primary systems. Until further notice, you're grounded."
Grounded?! "Are you insane?!" Shepard scowled at the ambassador but forced herself to ignore him and turn her attention to the ones who made the ultimate call. "After everything I've done, you still don't believe me?"
"We agree with the ambassador, Commander," Sparatus said with a smirk he didn't bother to hide.
"I think it's time for you to leave, Commander," said Udina. "This no longer concerns you. The Council can handle this. With my help, of course."
"You son of bitch, you sold me out!" Shepard took a threatening step towards the ambassador with every intention to punch his face. It took every bit of her discipline to hold back her tightened fist at the very last second.
Udina took a few quick steps back to keep a safe distance between them. "It's just politics."
"You'll pay for this. Nobody stabs me in the back, Udina," Shepard warned him, her voice was low but icy cold. "Nobody." The venomous glare she sent him was enough to make him flinch, Shepard took minor comfort in that as she stormed out of the audience chambers.
Waiting for her just outside was the man she needed most right now. There was something about Kaidan that his presence always calmed her down, even when she was pissed as hell.
Judging from that rare harsh scowl on his face, Kaidan had heard everything. "Can't believe that bastard Udina sold us out!"
"This is not over," Shepard claimed firmly. Her expression steeled with conviction. "If they think I'll just roll over and play dead, they're wrong." She matched towards the exit, out of this surreal place. "Let's head back to the Normandy before they lock us out. Time to cash out all the favors I've earned in the past decade."
Location: SSV Normandy SR-1 Bridge
Bringing the bad news to everyone on the ship wasn't a pleasant job, but Kaidan volunteered to do it, giving Shepard time to appeal the Council's decision once they were back on the Normandy.
For the past few months, this ship had been his home away from home. Throughout his career, he had never felt so attached to a ship, or worked with such a fine crew. Undoubtedly, the Normandy was the best ship with the best crew, and her captain was one of a kind. Not all good soldiers made good leaders, but the commander was one of the few exceptions. That was one of the pleasant surprises – among many – Kaidan had learned about Shepard ever since she had taken over the Normandy.
"Can't believe this is happening," Joker mumbled once again.
"Yeah..." said Kaidan, hiding a sigh. Joker loved this ship more than anyone else, Kaidan almost hadn't had the heart to tell the pilot about the Council's decision.
"Everyone's packing and leaving." Joker sent his glare at a few crew members who were heading to the airlock. "How could they just walk away like this?"
"What else can they do?" Kaidan defended them. "The commander is doing her best to get anyone to listen right now."
Joker glanced at his control console. "Yeah. Sending about ten messages a minute in her cabin. Shepard sure types fast."
"All we can do is wait."
"Hey Kaidan, what's going on?" asked Tali, hurrying into the bridge with the rest of their team in tow.
"Didn't you hear the announcement?" asked Joker. "We're grounded. GROUNDED. Those sons of bitches are gonna pay for grounding my ship!"
"We heard!" Tali snapped back. "And it's Shepard's ship."
Kaidan cut in before they could start an argument. "Udina sold us out. We're officially off the mission."
"Damn Udina, never liked that sneaky bastard," Garrus mumbled.
"Let's pay him a visit," Wrex suggested, smashing his fist into his other palm. "Maybe we can change his mind."
Garrus nodded. "I could be... persuasive."
"What? No!" Kaidan stopped them before there could be any plans for assault, jokingly or not. Shepard was already in enough trouble. "Anything happens to Udina, Aerin will be number one suspect at this point. She threatened Udina in front of the Council just now."
"That's my Shepard!" Wrex claimed proudly.
"What about Saren and the Conduit?" asked Liara. "We have to go to Ilos before it's too late."
"Councilor Tevos claimed the matter on Ilos – what was the phrase she used – 'requires a deft touch.'" Kaidan snorted.
"What does that even mean?" asked Tali.
"That's bureaucratic talk," Garrus explained, "meaning 'sit back and do nothing until things hit the fan', or something along that line."
Liara shook her head in dismay. "Too much is at stake, we can't just give up!"
"We're not," said Kaidan, trying to hold the group together. Shepard made it look so easy. "Aerin is going through every single possible channel to appeal the Council's decision. Maybe Captain Anderson or Admiral Hackett could help, I don't know..."
"Should have ignored Udina's message," Joker mumbled. "We'd be cloaking through the Terminus System by now. That's it, I'm blocking that son of a bitch from now on."
"So what do we do now?" asked Tali.
"Standby and wait." Kaidan gave her a helpless shrug. "That's all we can do."
"I hate waiting," said Wrex. "Let's go stock up on ammo. I've a feeling we're going to need a lot of bullets one way or another."
"Good idea," Garrus agreed.
"Nobody backstabs my Shepard," Wrex grumbled as he headed for the exit.
"Our Shepard." Garrus followed the krogan.
"You know the way to the human embassy, Vakarian?" asked Wrex nonchalantly.
"I know every back door to that place, Wrex," said Garrus. "And I also happen to know where all the hidden security cameras are. My first year at C-Sec I was posted around that area."
Kaidan was alarmed.
Liara shared a look with him. "I'll go with them to make sure they don't do anything foolish," she suggested. "Stay here with Aerin, she might need you."
He nodded. "Thanks."
"Hey, wait a minute, Kaidan, why are you here but not with Aerin?" Tali gave him a look of disapproval behind her helmet, at least that's what he imagined with her tone.
"What?" Kaidan was confused. "I was here organizing a ship-wide-"
"I know." Tali cut him off with a wave. "But now your task is done, you should be with her."
"She's busy, Tali. Besides, I want to give her some space to think."
The young quarian shook her head with an audible sigh. "Don't you know anything about love? That's it, we really need to have a talk after this mess is over."
"A talk? About what?"
"Never mind that right now," said Tali, with one hand on her hip, another pointing down the hall. "Go to Aerin, now. She needs you."
"Hate to say this, Alenko, but Tali's right. You might want to check on the boss," Joker suggested after glancing at one of his many control consoles. "She stopped sending messages about two minutes ago and we haven't heard from her. That can't be good. If there's anyone who can diffuse the nuclear bomb named Shepard, it's you."
Location: SSV Normandy SR-1 Living Quarters
The living quarters was completely empty when Kaidan arrived, except for one lone figure standing by the lockers. According to the centuries-old tradition, the captain was always last to leave their ship, Kaidan didn't expect anything less from Shepard. Still, seeing the commander all by herself in her ship was quite heartbreaking.
It was quite unlike her to not notice his approach. Seemingly lost in her own thought for a few seconds, Shepard suddenly broke out of her reverie and punched her locker. Startled, Kaidan waited for another second before he stepped closer to her. He noticed she was holding onto her torso and winced in pain as she turned around, her eyes shut tight. Leaning against the locker, Shepard slid down onto the floor, her shoulders slumped.
This was the first time he had seen her so defeated.
Tali was right; Shepard needed him.
"Hey..." he called out from across the room. Startling a combat veteran was never a smart idea, especially one who was on edge.
Even though her eyes remained close, he noticed the knot between her eyebrows began to loosen as he approached.
Shepard glanced up when he stopped next to her. Dark circles under her eyes had become more prominent since Ashley's death. More than once, Kaidan wondered if she had gotten much sleep lately.
"Hey, are you all right?" he asked softly.
She dropped her gaze and stared blankly at the floor in front of her. For a short while, Shepard didn't answer. But eventually, she ran a hand through her hair with a soft sigh. "No, I'm not," she admitted just as quietly.
Kaidan was glad she didn't pull the 'I am fine' bullshit she used on everyone else. He sat down on the floor next to her. "I'm sure there's a way to appeal. We're under the Alliance authority after all, not the Council."
"I tried everything I could think of." She shook her head. "Official channels are closed. They're quite clear about that."
"Closed? And we're supposed to accept that." He frowned. "What about Admiral Hackett? You've helped him more than enough to earn a favor or two from him."
"I tried to send an urgent message to Fifth Fleet, it bounced right back. Couldn't contact him. Or Anderson. Or even my mother," said Shepard. "Udina is going out of his way to isolate me."
"Does he even have the authority to do that?"
"Doubt he cares. Where should I file the complaint to? To his office? The Council?"
Kaidan felt a burning anger budding inside of him. It wasn't just because of the idiocy of the Council's decision, but the fact that the Council and Udina had betrayed and bullied his commander made it personal. "So, that's it, huh?" He snorted. "Where do you think the best view will be when the Reapers roll through? If we have to sit it out, might as well get a good seat."
"We are not sitting it out." There was a sharp edge in her quiet tone. "The entire galaxy is at stake. I'll be damned if I don't do anything. I'll find a way out of this."
Kaidan smiled proudly at that. "I know you will, Aerin. You always have something up your sleeve. That's what I love about you."
She gave him a look but didn't comment on the last part. "We're out of the game for now, but they can't keep me down forever. First, I need to get a message to Hackett or Anderson..."
"They're monitoring the Normandy, but they can't monitor every single terminal in the Citadel, not instantly." Kaidan's mind started to spin. "We can use a public terminal to send a coded message. It'll be too late for them to intercept it if or when they find out."
Shepard continued his line of thought seamlessly, "Encrypting the message with one of the most common codes the Alliance Intel use should be enough to bypass the Council and Udina meanwhile, but allow Hackett and Anderson to decode it easily."
They shared a look and a nod, that was all they needed to sign off on their latest plan.
Shepard let out a heavy breath after the plan was hatched. The sharpness of her gaze softened as she tilted her head and looked at him. "I've told you before, but... I'm really glad you're here."
He smiled at that. "And I've told you, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
"Even with the mess we're in?"
"Even with the mess we're in. As long as you are here, this is where I want to be."
That earned him a smile on that lovely face. "Don't move..." she ordered suddenly.
Before he could say another word, she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.
Kaidan could no longer hold back a grin.
He felt her body relax against his. Kaidan tilted his head slightly to peek at her face and found her blue eyes half closed, a faint yet sweet smile played on her pink lips. If he could, he would freeze this moment forever.
"It feels... weird," Shepard started quietly. "I've been running nonstop for years. Mission after mission. Never thought I would feel this tired. But I am... I'm tired, Kaidan..."
'I'm tired.' Two words most would never expect to hear from the Commander Shepard, but Kaidan knew her better. Disobeying her explicit order of not moving, he shifted and sneaked his arm around her shoulders to hold her close. Shepard didn't complain, instead she snuggled up comfortably.
He briefly recalled that one time she had fallen asleep on his shoulder during their trip on Noveria. "You haven't been sleeping well lately."
"Mm..." She didn't deny it. "Neither have you."
How did she know?
"Did you really think I didn't noticed just because you never complained?" She continued when he didn't answer. "Your headache is getting worse since Virmire."
"Aerin, I-"
Shepard tilted her head up to face him. "Don't lie to me, Kaidan. I can tell. Whenever one of those killer headaches comes back, it shows right here." She tapped the spot between his eyebrows. "And it usually hurts the most right here." Her long fingers traced to his temple and massaged it gently.
He relaxed completely at her touch. "You have enough to worry about..."
"Well, like it or not, Mr. Alenko, you've become one of my top priorities." Shepard gave him a rare wistful look. "You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?"
Kaidan was rendered speechless. He found himself inching closer to her. He had never noticed how long her lashes were, or how much he loved that hint of slightly sweet scent that was on her skin.
He had wanted to kiss her before, but never more so than right now.
But Shepard placed a hand on his cheek to stop him, much to his disappointment. "We're grounded in Citadel among all places. We should use this opportunity to have you do a full check-up in one of the best hospitals here," she suggested. "I trust Chakwas, but there's only so much she can do in a Med Bay."
"Only if you're doing a full physical as well," Kaidan bargained. His hand gently rested on her torso. "It still hurts sometimes, and don't tell me it doesn't. Internal bleeding doesn't go away that easily without surgery."
"Guess we're heading to the hospital then, after sending out the messages."
"Too bad. I was hoping we could finally get spend some time together, just the two of us," he claimed half-jokingly as he got up from the floor, extending one hand to help her up.
"And? What are we going to do? With just the two of us..." she asked as she took his hand.
"Well, I don't know-" He misjudged the force and pulled too hard, she slammed onto his body and lost her balance momentarily. He reached behind her waist to steady her. Everything happened within a heartbeat. It wasn't until a second later that he realized how close they were once again. His arms were around her, and her hands on his chest. Neither showed any intention of stepping back.
Holding his gaze with hers, Shepard asked quietly with a tone that sent a shiver down his spine, "...You don't know?"
His gaze traced down from her eyes to her lips. Slightly parted, they looked very pink, very soft, and very tempting as she slowly leaned closer.
"You sure?" she asked again, biting that plump lower lip ever-so slightly.
Kaidan's heart pounded wildly inside his chest. As disciplined as he was, even he had his limits, and Shepard was exceptionally good at driving him over the edge – not that he was complaining. All Kaidan knew was he would be more than willing to go to the edge of the galaxy just to have a taste of those lips of her.
"Tell me..." Her nose almost touched his. "What do you want right now?"
"You," he breathed out that single word before he could stop himself.
"Good..." Shepard whispered. The tip of her nose now rubbed against his. "Come get it then."
To hell with muddying the chain of command; they were already officially off the mission anyway. For once, he tossed his last bit of self-control out of the nearest airlock and followed his heart to close the remaining distance to claim those lips.
"Sorry to interrupt, Commander." Joker's voice rang loudly through the comm just when his lips almost touched hers, startled both of them back to reality. "Got a message from Captain Anderson."
Kaidan had never been a violent man, but there was nothing he wanted more than to punch Joker right about now. He did take comfort in noticing that she lingered in his arms a moment longer before stepping back reluctantly.
Shepard scowled, her voice sharpened with annoyance. "Are you spying on us, Joker?"
"No ma'am," Joker denied but Kaidan could almost hear a snicker in the pilot's voice. "Just knew you were on the ship and figured I'd pass you the message. The captain said to meet him at Flux."
Kaidan took a deep breath to clear his mind and much more. It was hard to conceal that sore disappointment, but Kaidan somehow managed. "Well, I guess you'd better go then."
She nodded then straightened her shirt and tucked some errand strands of her hair behind her ears. Blue eyes sharpened with a blink, and just like that, his Aerin was gone and the Commander Shepard was back.
"Want to come with me?" she asked with her professional tone even though they were still alone. "That's not an order, but I could use your opinion."
Knowing Joker could very well be still spying, Kaidan couldn't blame her for being cautious. If it wasn't for the lovely flush on her cheeks telling him what happened just now was in fact real, Kaidan could have easily written it off as a vivid fantasy. But it was very much real. And, even though he only had a glimpse of it, Kaidan realized he loved that hidden feminine side of Aerin perhaps a little too much.
Hiding a grin, he nodded. "Sure, I'll go."
With you, anywhere.
A/N: I'm cutting a very long chapter into two part, this is part 1. I'll post part 2 by Monday, Aug 12, if not sooner. And then this story will be in mini hiatus for about a month. More on that in the next A/N.
Thanks for reading!
