Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.
Any Dan sympathizers out there reading this will not enjoy this upcoming chapter. I've always felt that the writers went entirely too easy on him considering all the pain and suffering that endured at his hand. This chapter is meant to correct that.
"I don't know if I can do this, B," Serena groaned as her stomach was turning so fiercely it was making her sick as she entered Chuck's office during the party. Outside the party goers were kissing the ground Dan walked on, especially those that felt as bullied as he had while attending Constance and St. Jude. It had taken every shred of self-control that Serena had to not vomit at their feet.
"Don't you dare grow a conscious on me now, van der Woodsen," Blair scowled at her, "We're doing this. Nate's exposé has already gone to press. It's too late to back out now."
"I'm not good at this take down thing...I never was. I don't have your iron stomach," Serena continued to whine.
"Take an antacid and get over it," Blair continued to stare her down, "You're almost done. You just have to get Dan to read the excerpt he's chosen and then text us when he steps to the microphone. Chuck and I will hit this little send button. Then we can all watch as the crowd turns on him."
"Do you promise that's all I have to do?" Serena requested.
"It's that simple," Blair confirmed, "Get Dan to speak in front of the gathering and text us."
Serena nodded as she steeled her nerves and her stomach to brave the elements for a few minutes more.
"You're awfully calm about this," Chuck pointed out as she re-read the blast that the quartet had prepared earlier that day.
"You know I've always enjoyed a good take down," she smiled as he began nipping at her neck.
"You know, we haven't christened my office yet," he whispered in her ear as he sucked lightly at the pulse point on her neck.
Blair felt her eyes roll back into her head as he found her weak spot, "Chuck, stop. We have to stay focused."
"I am focused," he whispered, "I'm focused on my beautiful wife and the dress she selected merely to tempt me into action."
"I could wear a potato sack and it would tempt you into action," she pointed out as she broke free from his grasp, "If you behave for a little while longer, maybe you'll get your wish."
Chuck groaned in disappointment as a hush fell over the crowd outside his office. Blair quickly covered his mouth with her hand to silence the sound so no one would come investigating.
Blair heard her phone vibrate. She took a quick glance at screen, "It's show time."
"Let's do it together," Chuck reached for send button at the same time as her. Blair nodded as they pressed the button. A chorus of various phone chirps rang out immediately.
Blair and Chuck emerged from the office to see nearly everyone in attendance checking their phones.
"That looks familiar," Chuck whispered in her ear as they watched the rage build in nearly everyone in attendance as they read the blast.
- A Blast from the Past - It's time for the truth to come out. He claims that he was the ultimate victim of years of torment at the hands of the privileged Upper East Siders. Reality check, you're only the victim if you're not the one pulling the strings. Want to know the biggest secret of them all? Want to know who I really am? I'm none other than Dan Humphrey. Sorry, Dan, but I think 'Lonely Boy' is going to be making a comeback, and this time we think you'll stay lonely for a long while.
Dan stopped reading from his excerpt as the buzz around the room broke his concentration. People were pointing; some were laughing. Words like 'pathetic' and 'loser' began to be tossed about. As he scanned the crowd he couldn't understand why he was getting the villainous looks that were being tossed in his direction.
"You may want to read this," Blair appeared before him and handed him her phone, a triumphant smile on her face. The color on his face drained upon seeing her.
Dan stammered as he tried to formulate a response, but nothing coherent came out.
"Really, I'm a little disappointed," Blair gave him a mock pout, "Here I thought the high and mighty Dan Humphrey would have a better response. Aren't you going to at least deny the allegation?"
Dan turned abruptly in an attempt to make a quick getaway but was cut off by Serena, "Going somewhere?"
"Serena, I...ah...can...explain," Dan stammered out.
"Really, I'd love to hear it," Serena challenged him as Nate came behind her, ready to pounce when it was his turn.
Dan began to sputter again as he couldn't put together a simple sentence to defend himself.
"Let's see, there was my bulimia," Blair began to assemble a list of offenses from over Dan's shoulder. "S, wasn't there something about a potential STD at one point?"
"There's the man-whore thing," Serena chimed in as she looked to her fiancé, "And the whole Chuck's bi-polar. I'm apparently irrelevant, and Blair is weak...funny, I don't feel irrelevant. B, are you weak?"
"Never felt stronger," Blair grinned.
"There's an explanation," Dan said again.
"You're a jackass?" Blair guessed. "Oh, let's not forget ruining both your relationship with Vanessa and Nate's with Serena by posting a picture of you and S in bed, a picture I believe was sent in by your sister. Nate, your phone's on right? We have a guest on the line all the way from Bora Bora. Vanessa's getting all this, right?"
"Loud and clear," they heard Vanessa's voice on speaker.
"And how did your dear little sister lose her virginity again? Was that really something that you wanted the world to know?" Blair inquired, "Unless of course, she was in on it too."
"What do you say, Jenny? In on it or not?" Serena held up her phone.
"I might have sent in a few tips, but I most definitely was not helping Dan," the venom in Jenny's voice came through loud and clear.
"Remarkable reception, S," Blair noted of her best friend's cell phone reception, "It's as if Vanessa and Jenny are actually here. Dan, I can almost hear them slapping you across the face. Vanessa, Jenny, I'd love to stand in for you, if you don't mind."
"Let Blair do it for Jenny," Vanessa suggested.
"Serena can do it for Vanessa," Jenny chimed in, "Make sure you leave an imprint of your hand on his face."
"With pleasure," Serena handed her phone to Nate. "Eric, you ready to get this on film?"
"All set," Eric nodded as he stepped in for a better angle as he'd been streaming most of the party for Jenny and Vanessa. The surprise announcement made for much more interesting viewing.
Crack! went Serena's hand
Crack! went Blair's hand right after. Dan's head was whipped from one side to the next by the force of each slap.
"Dan, your dad's on his way over here. Call me crazy, but he doesn't look very happy," Eric observed Dan's father standing off to the side.
Rufus came forward, his surprise still evident in his posture. "Dan, is everything they're saying true?"
"Rufus, before you start in on him, I believe Nate has some words he'd like to share with Dan," Serena interjected.
"Actually, I have a little gift for him," Nate slapped a copy of the next edition of the Spectator into Dan's chest, "You're going to finally be front page news. Hot off the presses. I went to your publisher to get a statement to go along with your story, and curiously they no longer want anything to do with your book. It's last minute and all, so a few copies might see the light of day, but I wouldn't expect to be making any bestseller lists. Oh, they're cancelling your contract by invoking the character clause. Apparently you're in violation or something."
"Imagine that," Serena grinned smugly.
"I hope you saved some of that advance that you were given, but I have a suspicion that might be all you're ever going to get for your writing," Nate added.
"Don't play the high and might card with me," Dan finally regained his wits, "My site would have been nothing without the tips of everyone in this room."
"I never sent in one tip, and yet you felt you had the right to paint me as a man-whore and air all my dirty laundry," Nate gritted. "And if you cared half as much about Serena as you claimed to all these years, you wouldn't have posted a quarter of the things you did."
"And really, Dan? Vanessa and I will never be huge fans of one another, but even I want to hurt you on her behalf. You could've chosen a better way to break up with her than posting that picture of you and Serena in bed together. Of course there's also the fact that you let loose the news of her and Chuck sleeping together. I'm willing to bet that tip didn't come to you by way of Gossip Girl. I know with absolute certainty that Chuck never said a peep, so I'm guessing it was probably Vanessa sharing privileged information with her best friend."
Vanessa let out a little yelp of surprise as that connection was made. The one secret she'd told her best friend that she'd never wanted another soul to know, yet it had been put out there almost as soon as she told him. She'd always assumed it had been Chuck bragging about another conquest. She should have known. "You bastard," her voice barely registered, but the hurt and betrayal was crystal clear.
"So it wasn't all tips sent to you," Serena replied, "You're pathetic. You weren't born into a life of wealth and privilege so you felt the need to take down everyone that was. Was sleeping with you just part of the plan to humiliate me? God, when I think of everything that I shared with you… I guess I'm lucky the entire world doesn't know every one of my dark little secrets, or is that the plot of your next book? If so, be prepared to meet my attorneys."
"Consider yourself lucky that we can't sue you for slander," Blair hissed at him. "But if I were you, Humphrey? I'd find some place to hide."
"He's all yours, Rufus," Nate motioned.
"Not just yet," Eric handed his phone to Blair and stood in front of Dan. He smiled and smoothed down the other man's jacket lapel before he decked his former step-brother, sending him sprawling to the floor. "Now, he's all yours."
"Nice follow through, van der Woodsen," Nate smirked, "Took my idea, but I say you probably had more cause than any of us."
"Thanks," Eric shook out his hand, "Hurt like a son of a gun."
"Come on. Let's get some ice and a drink," Blair hooked her arm into Eric's.
Rufus didn't feel the need to air his family argument in public as he pulled Dan into an unused office. Everyone in attendance began to mill around in anticipation of having a crack at Dan when he emerged from the room.
"Chuck, maybe you should call Lily," Blair whispered as she wrapped her arms around her husband's waist.
"I'll talk to her when we get home," Chuck replied as he slipped his hand into hers, bringing it to his lips to examine the redness of her palm, "Should we get you some ice for your hand?"
"It doesn't even hurt," she smiled.
"Mine neither," Serena smiled as she looked at her own palm. "I kinda feel like I did that day we pricked our fingers with your mom's old sewing needles."
"Weren't the two of you playing 'Sleeping Beauty'?" Nate inquired.
"How'd it feel putting Dan in his place?" Chuck inquired.
"I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders," Blair proclaimed.
"No more Gossip Girl," Nate mused as he motioned for the bartender. "End of an era and
I think it deserves some champagne."
"I'll join you," Serena stated, "Chuck, Blair?"
"None for me," Chuck shook off the suggestion.
"Do you have any sparkling cider?" Blair asked the bartender. "Also we need a rag and some ice for our friend here."
"His jaw is harder than it looks," Eric continued to shake out his hand, "How do you tell if it's broken?"
"If you want, we'll take you to the hospital," Blair offered. "It's the least we can do."
"Nah, I'm sure the champagne will take the edge off," Eric replied.
"Three champagnes and two sparkling ciders," Blair put in their order. Even after a few years, she always felt a little guilty drinking around her husband.
The bartender quickly produced their drinks.
"What shall we toast to? It should be sentimental," Blair smiled.
"How about to the end of Gossip Girl and the continuation of the Non Judgmental Breakfast Club, plus one?" Chuck proposed as he winked at his brother.
"Here, here," Eric smiled.
"And to the departure of one Mister Daniel Humphrey," Blair smiled wickedly
"There's my queen," Chuck kissed her cheek as everyone's glasses came together.
"We should go to the island soon," Blair smiled at Chuck. "And take Eric with us."
"Hey, B, Nate and I have been talking about something," Serena chimed in, "Could we get married on your island?"
"You really want to?" Blair smiled eagerly.
"We really do," she nodded eagerly, "We could take Lily and Bart with us...one of you could get ordained, and we could be married at sunset."
"I could get ordained," Eric volunteered. "I'd love to be the one to marry you."
"And of course, Chuck would be the best man, and B, you'd be my matron of honor," Serena added, "Honestly, I can't imagine anything more perfect."
"Are you going to invite William?" Blair asked.
"I guess I hadn't really given that much thought," Serena replied.
"Someone needs to give you away," Blair pointed out.
"I'll have to think on it," Serena conceded.
"And what about your parents, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked.
"Maybe my dad, but Mom's still not speaking to me."
"Anne's a real piece of work," Blair shook her head and then grimaced, "That was out loud, wasn't it? Sorry, Nate."
"No, you're right," Nate assured her.
"Well, it's her loss," Chuck patted his back.
"Pick a date. We'll have the island ready for the wedding and any and all guests," Blair nodded. "I would love it if you two got married there."
"Thanks, B," Serena hugged her.
"Luca has to be the ring bearer, and Evie will be the cutest little flower girl."
"Deal," Blair nodded
"Dorota, Vanya, Anya, Lily, Bart," Eric started to list people.
"Guest list?" Blair guessed.
"I think we're going to need another island to accommodate everyone," Chuck thought out loud.
"The house is big enough for family," Blair pointed out. "And the island is big enough for another residential structure. Get building, Bass."
"Is there a particular date you are wanting to tie the knot?" Chuck asked.
"Uh, I think I'd like to be a spring bride, so that gives us a year?" Serena though aloud.
"Really? I always saw you as more the winter bride type," Blair said.
"Funny, I always saw her as the barefoot and pregnant bride myself," Eric chimed in.
Blair giggled while Serena glared at Eric.
"Should we be taking away this champagne, S?" Blair teased.
"Don't be ridiculous," Serena kept a firm hold on her drink.
"Rhodes women are a fertile breed," Chuck pointed out.
"Well this fertile Rhodes woman is taking the necessary precautions," Serena insisted. "One of us already had a shotgun wedding."
"Very funny," Blair shot Serena a mock dirty look.
"Check out the walk of shame," Eric pointed to where Dan was trying to slip out of the room.
Blair let out a giddy giggle as the first person to head Dan off was Nelly Yuki. She went on to berate and slap him across the face. By then a line had formed behind her.
Dan happened to glance at the five of them at the bar. They all raised a glass to him.
"I believe we have an office to christen," Chuck whispered in Blair's ear.
"That would be the perfect way to cap off this night," Blair nodded. "We'll see you later. Eric, I think you have just become my favorite brother-in-law."
"Because," Eric prompted her.
"You socked Dan," Blair smiled.
"And dang it hurts," Eric shook his hand out again as Chuck led her away from the group.
"I suppose you two were responsible for ruining my son's life," Rufus stopped Chuck and Blair dead in their tracks with a cold stare just outside Chuck's office.
"No, Rufus," Blair didn't miss a beat, "Your son is responsible for this. He started the website. He ran the site, and he picked and chose what posts benefitted him the most. You want to be mad at someone, be mad at your son. We were merely returning the favor."
Chuck didn't feel the need to add a comment as he led Blair to his office where he made sure to shut and lock the door behind them.
"A quick christening and then I want to get home to my babies," Blair told Chuck as she opened his pants with ease.
"I couldn't agree more," he gave her a smug smirk as he took her on top of his desk.
"How was your evening?" Bart inquired as Blair and Chuck returned home.
"Satisfying on many levels," Blair winked at her husband, "Are the children in bed?"
"Luca is," Bart nodded, "But someone is refusing to put down your daughter even though she's been asleep for a few hours."
"Is that so?" Blair smirked in amusement as she went in search of her mother-in-law and daughter. Sure enough, Lily was curled up with Evie, who was fast asleep.
"I can never get enough of this," Lily proclaimed as she rubbed the back of her granddaughter's head as she continued to sleep soundly on her shoulder.
"She is a good cuddler when she actually sleeps," Blair agreed as Lily reluctantly passed her off. "Did everything go alright tonight?"
"They were both perfect angels, like always," Lily gushed.
"Chuck would like to speak to both of you before you leave for the night," Blair announced before she turned to give her husband a reassuring smile as she took Evie upstairs.
"What is it, Charles?" Lily inquired as she and Bart settled on the sofa as Chuck took residence in the nearby armchair.
"Blair, Serena, Nate and I did something tonight that that we know you won't be proud of, and I wanted you to hear about it from me," Chuck explained as he handed Lily a copy of the next issue of the Spectator.
"Dan was Gossip Girl!" Lily exclaimed as she read through the first few paragraphs of the story, "I never would have guessed."
"We exposed him tonight during his book release party," Chuck stated, "We tricked him into believing that it was an actual attempt to launch his book when we had every intention of humiliating him. Before you say anything, no, I'm not proud of what we did tonight, but we couldn't let him play the innocent victim for profit when he was part of the problem all along."
"I don't know what to say, Charles," Lily admitted.
"You have every right to be angry with me. I should have risen above it all, and I probably would have if he hadn't humiliated Blair the day before her wedding by sharing something so personal, so private. I couldn't overlook that, Lily," Chuck admitted, "I just hope that somehow you can find a way to forgive me and not cut me out of your life."
"Cut you out of my life," Lily gasped in surprise, "Charles, how could you think such a thing? You're my son."
"Legally," Chuck nodded, "But..."
"No buts about it," Lily cut him off to quickly set him straight, "You are my son. You have been my son since the day I signed those adoption papers and perhaps even before. We may not share DNA, but in every other way that matters you are mine. I claim you in good times and in bad."
"I've given you so much bad," Chuck cast his eyes to the hard wood floor.
"Look at me, Charles," Lily commanded gently.
It took every ounce of strength Chuck had in him to look into Lily's eyes.
"You are my son. There is nothing in this world you could do to ever drive me from your life," Lily assured him, "Yes, I'm disappointed by what you have done, but I suspect you are being much tougher on yourself than I could ever be. Honestly, there is a large part of me that believes that Daniel got what he deserves. The heartache he caused everyone over the years is simply unconscionable. I don't know how he ever could look anyone in the eyes. I hope he takes a good long look at himself in the mirror."
"I'm sorry, Lily," Chuck stated, "Believe me I'll be taking a good long look myself."
"Don't be too hard on yourself," Lily nudged him gently.
"Shouldn't you be scolding me and sending me to my room without dinner?" Chuck looked at his parents in confusion.
"If we send you to your room, your wife will be waiting to celebrate," Lily smirked, "I think punishment would be keeping you here. However, you are an adult with your own family, so I think you are old enough to know better and to teach your children better."
Chuck nodded in acknowledgement.
"Well, you're home safe and sound, so we should be heading home ourselves," Bart announced, "You'll give our love to Blair and the children, won't you?"
"Of course," Chuck nodded as he walked them to the door. He kissed Lily's cheek and then his parents were off.
Chuck found his wife curled up with Luca after putting Evie to bed for the evening. His son's eyes were open, and he was talking softly to Blair. Something inside Chuck didn't like what he saw even before he saw the fear in his son's eyes.
"There's Daddy," Blair pointed towards her husband. Luca reached out for him with a sad, little moan of 'Daddy'.
"What's wrong, Little Man?" Chuck asked as he lifted Luca into his arms and traded places with his wife in the chaise lounge.
"He had a bad dream," Blair explained, having already gone through the conversation with her son, "He was tossing and turning when I came in to check on him."
"It's okay, Buddy," Chuck whispered as he attempted to comfort his son, "Mommy and Daddy are here. We'll chase all your bad dreams away."
Blair gave her husband a small smile as Luca clung to him to the point of cutting off his father's circulation. Chuck whispered soft words of comfort as he waited patiently for his son to fall back to sleep. Blair perched herself on the arm of the chair to be closer to their son as his eyes drifted closed. The little boy finally felt safe enough to fall asleep. It was awhile longer before Chuck and Blair felt okay about putting him back to bed. They made sure that Monkey was close to his side.
"He looks so much like you when he sleeps," Blair wiped the hair off Luca's face as she kissed his forehead, "Did I every thank you for giving me a clone of you?"
Chuck snorted softly in amusement, "Then I should thank you for having the clone of you."
Blair rolled her eyes as she grabbed ahold of his tie and pulled him to their bedroom.
"Sounds like we missed some party," Lily noted as the family met for breakfast the next morning for a hastily put together gathering, "The society pages are all over this news about Dan being Gossip Girl, though kudos to you, Nathaniel, for breaking the story."
"Thanks, Lily," Nate nodded, "I had some help."
"My phone hasn't stopped ringing this morning," Lily informed them, "So many parents claiming delayed outrage on behalf of their now adult children. I wonder if even half of them knew anything about Gossip Girl as their children suffered through the pain of adolescents."
"Glad it's all behind us," Blair stated as she fed her daughter. The little tot was very aware that many eyes were on her, and she was showing off by being a perfect little lady and eating each spoonful of food without protest, "Now we can move on with our lives without anything from our past lingering. Nate's tech guys completely erased all Gossip Girl posts from Dan's computer. Anything that Dan has now is such old news it's not even worth worrying about."
"Since everyone is here, how about we discuss the impending nuptials of my favorite daughter," Lily prodded her daughter.
"Since I'm your only daughter, that's not exactly a compliment, but I'll take what I can get," Serena laughed, "We finally have some plans in that regard. We've decided to elope, sort of."
"Elope!" Lily exclaimed, "What on earth for?"
"Nate and I talked about it," Serena took her fiancé's hand, "With as complicated as things are with his family, we don't know if anyone will even show up. B, your wedding was beautiful, but as I was experiencing it from the maid of honor side I realized that I didn't want the fairytale event that you and Chuck had. We just want those closest to us."
"So where are you going to elope to…Vegas, Atlantic City, Monaco?"
"No," Serena responded quickly, "Definitely not Monaco."
"Right," Lily shook her head, "I completely forgot about the Monaco connection. Blair, Charles, I'm so…"
"Don't even worry about it," Blair waved off the apology her mother-in-law was trying to make, "It's ancient history."
"Anyways, Nate and I are going to get married on Blair and Chuck's island," Serena stated
"Which one?" Lily fumbled for a response.
"What do you mean which one?" Serena looked to her brother in bewilderment, "Do you own more than one?"
"Two actually," Chuck responded.
"What! When did that happen?" Serena exclaimed.
"About the time Evie joined us," Blair stated as she kissed her daughter's hand, "According to her daddy, we couldn't have an island named for her and not our son, so now we own two islands, Evelyn Isle and Luca Key. Their actually sister islands, and apparently there are a few more islands in the group that are for sale that Chuck's talking about purchasing so that we have more to name for future children. Apparently he thinks we should have our own archipelago."
"I just want to keep our options open for when we decide to add to our family," Chuck explained.
Blair shook her head in amusement.
"Well, I think we should stick with Evelyn Isle," Serena replied, "I don't even know what Luca Key looks like."
"Neither do I," Blair glared at her husband, "Apparently the island is under renovations."
"It needs to be up to my family's standards before I show it off," Chuck explained calmly.
"I have island," Luca announced proudly.
"Yes, you do, Sweet Boy," Blair turned to kiss his cheek.
"So we know the where," Lily concluded, "Do we have a when?"
"This winter, right, S?" Blair inquired.
"Actually, we want to move it up," Serena beamed at Nate.
"What?" Blair gasped in surprise, "Is it going to be a shotgun wedding after all?"
"No," Serena shook her head vigorously, "But we're talking about trying as soon as we say 'I do' which we want to happen as soon as possible. Nate's already clearing his calendar, so I want everyone else to do the same. We may leave as soon as next week, if that is alright with everyone."
"Just tell us when and where," Chuck replied, "I'll have the jet gassed up and ready to go."
TBC…
