A little late, I suppose, but this was another difficult chapter to write because although I've written a lot of characters crying in the past- and taken a rather sadistic delight in that- it's rather difficult to write Logan and Hunapo crying. I don't know why, but I find it upsetting. Maybe because they're so happy normally that it kills me to break them like this?
And yet I still enjoy sad OzNZ. What the hell is wrong with me?
It's just sadness in this chapter, I'm not gonna lie.
...
"You can't do that!" Hunapo was on their feet at once as Logan nodded and bit back tears, barely registering that the others were even speaking. He became lost in a spiral of misery that consumed his mind and dragged him down, but still he refused to cry. Not yet. There would be time for that later. He just had to sit through this meeting then he could go home and… and…
Tell his kids they'll be going hungry soon? That he can't look after them any more? That in a few months they could all be living in a hostel or shelter or even under a bus stop? No, there was no need to go that far; he'd find something else!
No he wouldn't. He'd been fired for gross misconduct, for violence in the workplace nonetheless. Who the hell was going to hire him? He could always appeal in the hopes that'd he'd be re-hired here, but what was the point, really?
"Oh? And why is that?" the manager raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair and glaring at them.
"Well, he helped me!" Hunapo tried, "Logan's a good man and I'd say he was in the right here! I'm scared to think of what would have happened if he hadn't rescued me."
"As am I," the manager sighed, "and I can assure you the police will be involved in that… unfortunate matter, but that doesn't change what Mr Cooper did. He assaulted a co worker with far more force than was necessary. You could have just restrained him or pushed him away, not…" He shook his head. "Cooper, I can't even begin to describe how surprised and utterly disappointed I am in you."
Logan nodded miserably. "I lost my temper," he mumbled.
"I can see that." The manager turned to his laptop and- with a heavy heart- began typing the summary dismissal. "You will be receiving your wages up until today- I'll send them to your account when I can- so you'll have that until you find another job."
Logan fought back a bitter laugh, smiling at the ground though he thought he would fall apart. "Now you know it's not that easy. Who's gonna hire me after what I did? Even I wouldn't."
"But… you were only trying to protect me," Hunapo frowned, "surely people would understand."
"Davies-"
"It doesn't say that on a CV or a reference," Logan told them, "just that I was fired and why. I know you're young but don't try to act like you're naive. What hope do I have? Even if I explain myself in an interview it'll just look like I'm making excuses."
"I will write you a fair reference," the manager told him. "You're a brilliant worker, Cooper, it's just unfortunate that things have come to this."
"Thanks," Logan shrugged. The promise meant nothing to him, but there was nothing he could do to change his situation.
"I'm begging you to reconsider," Hunapo turned to the manager, who was becoming increasingly frustrated with them.
"I cannot. We have rules here, Davies, and need to stick to them. I'm warning you-"
"It's fine, Huna, just drop it." The last thing Logan wanted was them getting in trouble too, though that would be the appropriate end of a frankly awful day. Still, he didn't get fired and screw over his future just to get them in trouble too. "I'll get some bar work somewhere. Arthur will take me on."
Hunapo frowned, looking down at him and trying to gauge his reaction for any signs of lying. Finding many, they sighed and sat down.
"What about his kids?" they asked the manager, "the two little ones? You really gonna do that to them?"
"It's fine," Logan snapped, stabbed with guilt as he watched them flinch. "I'll find something, I promise," he added, softer, "people like me; I'm sure I can win someone over."
"Are you sure?"
Logan wished he was a better liar, because he wasn't even convincing himself at this point and knew Hunapo had every right to be glaring at him.
"Yeah, course. It's not the end of the world."
The manager spoke up at this point, still typing at the computer; "Cooper, the police will be informed of this, of course, and I will be listing you as a witness to sexual assault, so they will most likely be contacting you in the next few days. I'll leave it to you to explain your part, but I for one won't be pressing any charges against you. I feel it would be immoral."
"That's fine. And thank you."
"And I want your account of the event before you leave," the manager added, "in private."
"But-"
"Huna, go to the first aid station," Logan muttered, "you need to be seen to. I'll find you there after and we can go home together."
"You mean it?" Hunapo made no attempt to move.
"Yeah, I want to talk to you."
"I think it would be a good idea for you to go home too," the manager said, "get rested and calm down, take a few days off even. The police will want to talk to you too and I think that's enough pressure after what you've been through."
"Thank you," Hunapo nodded and stood up, "see you in a bit, Logie."
"Yeah…"
When they were gone, Logan looked up as the printer in the corner rumbled into action, spitting out what could well have been his death certificate, for all he cared. That's what it felt like to him.
"I truly am sorry to have to do this," the manager tried, straightening his tie and sighing, "but people only saw what you did and word will get out and… not only would it make our company look really bad to keep you in our employment, but I imagine people would give you a hard time too. You simply would not be able to peacefully and safely work here."
Logan nodded. "I understand, really. It's just come as a shock."
"I know. Now, I want you to tell me everything that happened, as much detail as you can. Take your time…"
…
Hunapo barely made it to the bin in time, throwing up as Logan stood a few feet away, shivering in the middle of the park as drizzle covered his arms and soaked into his shirt. The summary dismissal almost seemed to be burning a hole in his pocket, and it took all his willpower not to tear the thing to pieces. The contents of a tiny locker in the changing rooms had been stuffed into his rucksack, weighing heavy on his back and the jeans he wore felt wrong. It was too early for him to be wearing home clothes.
Hunapo was still in their uniform: shorts and a polo shirt, and they shook as they gripped the edges of the bin. They were crying now, the events of the day pressing down on them until it was too much to bear and they just wanted to go home. But at the same time, they didn't. There was a paranoia clouding their mind, that had never been present before. What if he was waiting for them in their flat? But he didn't know where they lived! What if he was following them? Stalking them as he waited for an opportunity, for the first moment that Logan turned away, and wouldn't be there to save them.
Hunapo gripped their wrist in an attempt to stop the shaking, but only succeeded in pressing their bruises and bringing back fresh memories: of being grabbed and thrown. Of what he'd tried to do. The fact that they couldn't prevent what had happened. How they could just as easily suffered without anyone knowing.
Their legs shook and their stomach lurched as another wave of sick came, and they felt Logan's hand on their back, rubbing them softly.
"Thanks," they muttered, finally turning to him and burying their face in his chest whilst he wrapped his arms around them. The rain still pummelled and chilled the pair, but they didn't care. Neither knew what to say, but then again, neither really felt like saying anything. What was there even left to tell each other after something like this?
Eventually, Logan pulled away, gentle as he placed his hands on Hunapo's upper arms, rubbing their skin softly with his thumbs.
"Look, let's get you home," he began, but they shook their head.
"I can't," Hunapo's face crumpled, "I can't be alone right now." They were still shaking. If there was anything left inside them they'd have been sick again just thinking about it.
"I don't want to go home either," Logan glared at his shoes, ignoring how the freezing rain burned his arms and neck. He couldn't face his kids just yet, though they were probably still at school. He knew it would be best to get home before them, and figure out how to break the news to them, but his legs wouldn't move. He didn't want to see their faces. Didn't want to tell them he'd ruined everything because of his temper.
He thought he'd finally brought it under control years ago, and buried that hot-headed idiot his younger self had been. But no, he was just the same idiot who thought with his fists instead of his head. Well of course! What was even in his head that he could think with? Everyone thought he was stupid, and time and time again he'd just prove them right.
"What do we do?" Hunapo asked eventually. Logan didn't reply.
The scary thing was he'd willingly do it again. He'd do worse, even. He knew what he was capable of, and if he really wanted to he could break bones and rupture organs. If that cunt ever tried hurting Hunapo again he wouldn't know what hit him. That was the trouble with Logan: Huna, Oscar and Charlie… if anyone ever messed with them he wouldn't even care about the jail time, so long as he could get even with the bastard. Yeah, he'd be in prison but they'd be in a hospital, or even six feet under. And they'd fucking deserve it for harming his loved ones.
"Logie?"
Logan looked up. No, it was thinking like that that always got him into trouble. The fact of the matter was, as bad as things could get, he somehow managed to make them worse.
"I can't go back," he choked, covering his mouth with the back of a hand. It had started. The tears he'd tried to bury and hide were escaping now, and he loathed to think of how pitiful and downright pathetic he looked. But it was all too much. How could everything go wrong like this so fast?
"We'll have to eventually," they sighed.
"I can't tell them…" Huna tried to pull him close, but Logan gently pushed them away and began to walk past. However, he quickly crashed to his knees and let out a wail.
"I failed them!" he cried, pummelling the ground, sobbing as his face screwed up.
"Logie!" Huna was on their knees beside him in an instant, too scared to touch him and unable to stop his breakdown.
"I messed up! I'm sorry," Logan buried his face in his hands, "look, I can't go back. I just make things worse!"
"You don't-"
"Take my kids. You'd be a better parent to them." Logan barely seemed to recognise them in his cloud of misery, on his hands and knees as tears joined the rain soaking the grass. "I don't want to fail them anymore. They don't deserve that!"
"You didn't-"
"I'm no good to them. Please, just be the parent I couldn't be." His dad was right; he was a fucking waste of space. He needed to disappear.
"I'm not taking them, and you're not a failure!" Hunapo's words were barely reaching him. "You're brave!"
"I'm reckless. I handle things wrong." Logan sat up and hugged his stomach.
"You think so? Well I was just about to stab him with a scalpel!" Hunapo tried to laugh, but all they could manage was a bitter cough.
There was silence between the two before Logan let out a whimper, unable to sit up straight and once more on hands and knees. "I'm sorry," he muttered, "I'm a monster." The look of horror on Hunapo's face was still fresh in his mind, clinging to his fist and staring up at him like he was wild. Pleading with him to end this. He could've easily injured them if he'd not had the sense to stop.
He was struggling to breathe now, the grief crushing his chest as his eyes and throat stung. He hadn't meant to scare Huna. The last thing he'd wanted was to cause them any more pain.
"You're not," Hunapo tried, tearing up once more, "you saved me."
"And caused more hurt," Logan glared at the ground, refusing to look at them and focusing his attention on an ant scuttling through the greying grass instead. Either side of it were his hands, covered in dried blood, though only some of it was from his split knuckles.
"But…" Hunapo's face crumpled as they let out a loud wail. "You're not a failure for fuck's sake!"
It wasn't their words that made Logan look up, but the pain in their voice, an awful, chilling sound that once more evoked that urge to protect. What was he doing thinking of himself? There would be plenty of time for that later.
"You stopped him from… he was going to…"
They pulled at their hair and screamed.
"Huna!" He pulled himself to his knees, inches from Hunapo and once more they were in his arms, wailing into his shirt as the rain thickened and attacked from all sides. Logan tried to shield them as best he could, Hunapo feeling so small to him. They trembled and shuddered as they let it all out, and still they screamed.
The two knelt there, tangled together as they shared and let out their grief. The horror of it all. Neither cared that the other could see them cry; neither made a joke or wisecrack for the first time since they'd known each other. There was no urges to be better than the other, just a need to protect and be protected.
And still Hunapo screamed.
"Huna, it's gonna be fine," Logan eventually mumbled into their shoulder. "He can't hurt you any more."
"He might," Hunapo sniffed, arms limply by their side.
"Not while I'm around," Logan promised, shaking as he said that, determined to make good on his word. No one would hurt them while there was breath in his body.
"It's my fault," they sobbed, "all my fault. I couldn't protect myself and you got in trouble for it."
"No!" that anger was back, but thankfully a controllable amount that propelled Logan to grip Hunapo's arms- careful to be gentle- and shake them lightly.
"Don't ever say that again!" he growled, "you were not to blame! You didn't cause this and nothing about this situation is your fault." Another shake, and Hunapo was looking up with wide eyes, unable to speak.
"It's not your fault," Logan repeated fiercely, "and if anyone tells you different they're a lying cunt!"
"Logie-"
"My actions got me in trouble; nothing about this is your fault."
Hunapo's bottom lip trembled. "But why did it happen? If there was nothing I could do to stop it, then why was I…" They shook their head.
"The world is full of evil bastards and you just had the bad luck to run into one," Logan growled, "it was bad luck and unfortunate circumstances. You didn't cause it."
"But I'm scared!" Hunapo buried their face in Logan's chest, "if I couldn't stop it then who's to say that it won't happen again?"
Logan didn't have an answer to that, much to the other's horror.
"I can't stop shaking," Hunapo admitted, and Logan held them tighter. They were barely aware of the rain as they were sheltered, and though a few specs made it to their back and neck, they were too busy crying and trembling to notice.
"I'm not surprised," Logan replied. "Look, that bastard has been fired. He can't get you any more. And I know you've had a huge scare and it'll take time to feel normal again, but you'll heal."
"Will I? Do you promise?" Hunapo knew it was childish, but they just wanted to know it would be okay. Logan's words couldn't heal them, or make things right again, but he could give them the hope they needed.
He didn't reply immediately, taking time to form an appropriate answer, and Hunapo could feel him frowning against their hair.
"I can promise you," he began, "that if you give yourself time to heal, and make the decision to pick yourself up again and fight this, then I'll be there for ya, whatever you need. It won't happen overnight, but I think together we can work through it. I'll be here for you, I can promise that much."
"You think I can heal then?" Hunapo smiled at that.
"In time? Yeah. It's all down to you," he pulled away and held them at arm's length, throwing them a small grin, "but right now I say we go home- together- crack open a couple beers and get any more tears we have out of our system before the kids get home."
"But what are you going to tell them?" Hunapo asked as Logan pulled him up.
"Well, that I can easily get another job," Logan shrugged, "and I will. Starting tomorrow I'll look for something. You don't have to worry about me; I'm a big boy and can take care of myself!"
"Are you sure?"
Logan sighed. "Look, it's cold, and you're in no state to be rolling round on the grass crying. If you're gonna let all your emotions out, it's better to do it somewhere nice and warm, right?" He laced his fingers in their's, ruffling their hair. "C'mon, before we catch our death too."
...
Aw man I was writing this and 'Love was my alibi' came on and… dammit that's my sad Oceanic family song. Tbh this chapter bummed me out so much I can't even think of anything funny to put in my author's notes… and don't go and say my author's notes weren't ever funny!
