There's Fanfiction About Us!

Written by Self-Proclaimed KingofDDR


"Ya think you can just kill me and take my bloodline? You got some nerve, gaki!" Gekoku growled and partially removed the kunai from Tsunami' neck in his anger.


"This guy sucks as a Ninja. He had the advantage with his Kunai near Tsunami's throat, and he lets a little punk like Toolruto make him let his guard down?" Asuma sighed.

"Who is this guy, anyway? I've never heard of him before," Gai asked.

"Someone to make Toolruto look good, what else?" Tsunade shrugged.


"You're already dead. You just don't know it yet." Naruto said in a deathly cold voice as he raised his sword and then swung it towards the angry ninja calling out "Zanganken Ni-no-Tachi!"

A slightly visible arc of energy was released from the blade and passed right through Tsunami, not leaving even a scratch on her. Gekoku however wasn't so lucky. As he opened his mouth to mock Naruto because of the ineffective – in his opinion – attack, blood erupted from his throat and the cut became visible. Or rather slice, since he was literally cut in half horizontally right through his heart.


"…How the heck does that work?" Kiba scratched his head.

"I've learned through the course of the story to just go with the flow. Trying to question something will just make you angry," Kurenai said.

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one having his character raped!" Sasuke growled.


Seeing that holding a hostage was meaningless, Tamotsu quickly let go of Inari and began to back away warily.

"Alright, I'll take you on fair and square." he said as he took out his sword.

"What is Kiri teaching people these days?" Naruto shook his head disapprovingly. "Don't then know that dead men like you aren't supposed to talk?"

Before Tamotsu could retort a sword passed through his throat, edge upwards, before it spun upwards cutting his head in half. The 'Naruto' he was talking to burst into smoke.


"And this guy is the hero?" Naruto said in disbelief.

"Considering that he just slaughtered that Tamotsu guy like it was nothing, what do you think?" Kakashi deadpanned.


At this point Gato was wetting his pants from seeing the gore made by the young blonde.

"Kill them all! I'll pay you double! No, triple! Just kill them!" he yelled and began running through the bandits, away from the shinobi group.

The bandits quickly did as ordered, figuring that what they lacked in power compensated in numbers.

"Kakashi, you take the ones on the left. Haku, you take the right. I'll handle the middle." Naruto said as he raised his sword. "These idiots are still underestimating us. I'll show them what I can really do with my Tessaiga!" he shouted the name of his sword as swirling energy gathered around the blade, forming a larger shape. Just as it appeared, the swirling energy dispersed leaving a large curbed blade behind. The bandits hesitated for a moment as the saw this change, but quickly dismissed it as being just like Zabuza' sword, the one they were initially hired to kill. They couldn't have been more wrong.


"I hate not knowing where Toolruto gets all of these powerful swords and moves," Sakura griped.

"It would most likely help if we read all of the chapters that we skipped," Lee pointed out.

"And torture ourselves like that? No thanks!" Ino shook her head.


When they were thirty feet away from Naruto, he closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. As he exhaled, he opened his now blood-red demonic eyes and slashed at them with his sword, calling out "Kaze no Kizu!" The wind currents picked up around the massive wave of youki and ravaged through the bandits, killing over one hundred with that one strike.


"I feel sorry for Tazuna. It's gonna be a bitch to clean up all of that blood and gore and body parts," Chouji said.

"Yeah. It's troublesome for me to just clean my room! Can you imagine having to even look at something like that?" Shikamaru shuddered.


As he quickly scanned the bodies, he didn't see Gato anywhere. Making a few dozen Kage Bunshin to assist Kakashi and Haku, he ran towards the unfinished end of the bridge from where the bandits came. As he got to the edge, he saw Gato in a small boat with several bandits rowing towards the shore. He met the business man' gaze and saw his annoying smirk. The idiot actually thought he couldn't catch up?

As he looked from the blond towards the nearby shore, Gato couldn't help but gasp in horror. In the time it took him to turn his head, Naruto had arrived in front of the boat, walking on water towards them.

"Hold on! Let's talk about this!" Gato pleaded as his guards fell dead with a kunai stuck between their eyes.

"Oh, I'll talk about it when I will report to the Hokage how I killed you." Naruto said coldly.


"Seems that Toolruto regards everything coldly that doesn't have breasts and a pussy, unless it's also named Sakura," Ino said.

"You're just now figuring this out?" Kakashi replied.


"Wait! I'll give you anything you want! Money, women, land… anything!" Gato begged as he backed away towards the other end of the boat.

"You can't bring back all those you killed from the village" Naruto countered as he made a spear appear in his hand.

"Even if you kill me, the reserve group will… GAH!" he didn't have time to finish as the spear pierced his chest and lungs. As he died, he gave Naruto an evil, revengeful smirk.


"That's surprising," Asuma said.

"What is?" Kurenai asked.

"I was sure that Toolruto would kill Gato in the most brutal, pants-messing way. He would have been one of the few victims of Toolruto that deserved it," Asuma replied.


Pondering on the threat, Naruto hurried to assist at the bridge. Most of the bandits were dead, only a few remained and Kakashi and Haku didn't seem seriously injured as they mostly kept their distance and attacked with long range jutsu. Naruto made sure to copy Kakashi' "Suiton: Suiryūdan no jutsu" and Haku' "Sensatsu Suishō" since he was far enough for his brief activation of the Sharingan to go unnoticed. Because of this, he noticed that one of the bandits near the three genin that watched the battle in fear was still alive and relatively uninjured.


"…Oh, FUCK ME," Sasuke groaned. "That little shit has the fucking SHARINGAN now?-!"

"Huh. I guess that's what he did with Itachi's blood from chapter nine," Kakashi shrugged.

"I wonder how long it will take for Toolruto to crap all over Sasuke for stealing techniques for his own ends when he in fact is doing the same thing?" Ino asked, tapping her chin.


As the bandit got up from behind the group, Naruto prepared to do a Shundou to appear behind him. However, just as the bandit was about to strike Tazuna an arrow pierced his throat and he dropped dead.

Looking towards the source of the arrow, Naruto' eyes widened when he saw a large group of villager armed with various weapons, from knives to forks and bows. Apparently, Inari and Tsunami had rushed back to the village to get help. And, most surprising, the one leading them was Inari who had a crossbow in his hands. Naruto noticed with relief that the crossbow was still loaded so the kid wasn't the one that killed the bandit.

As he watched this little arrival, Haku and Kakashi killed the remaining bandits. The villagers offered to take care of the clean-up duty but Naruto declined.

"My clones will be quicker." he said before making over a hundred Kage Bunshin.

The clones quickly gathered the bodies and took all the weapons and valuables. The weapons were sealed in scrolls while the valuables were given to the villagers. He also sealed the heads of the three dead ninja in separate scrolls since there were bounties on them, as well as the Kubikiri Hōchō. Naruto personally took a large vial of Gekoku' blood to assimilate later. He had already discussed with his tenants and they all agreed that this Pocket Dimension Creation bloodline would be useful.


"Too bad he never had a chance to use it on Toolruto," Sasuke sighed.

"Yeah, that would have been the perfect fate for him, stuck in a different Dimension for all eternity," Sakura said, giddy at the thought.


Once all the bodies were gathered in one place, Kakashi suggested that they should bring some wood to burn them. At this, Naruto smirked and told everyone to back away at least fifty feet.

"Dominus de Somnis Ille Territus! Agite Tenebrae Abyssi, Ensis Incendens! Et Incendium Caliginis Umbrae Inimicitiae Destructionis Ultionis! Incendant et Me et Eum, Sint Solum Incendentes! Incendium Gehennae!" he mentally chanted and released a huge wave of dark fire that quickly enveloped the assembled bodies. It took less then a minute for it to die down, leaving behind only ash in the surface of the stone bridge. The entire time it burned, everyone besides Naruto watched in horrified fascination. But, as quick as they snapped out of it…

"Uzumaki! I command you to teach me. A an Uchiha all fire jutsu are ours!" Sasuke said as he approached Naruto.


Sasuke said nothing. He just face palmed before banging his head against the floor and keeping it there.

"Tell me when the defilement of my character is over…for the time being," Sasuke said in a muffled voice.

"Now, I could go on about how stupid and Out of Character it would be for Sasuke to demand something from someone who he knows could wipe the floor with him, and about how stupid doing this more than once is (unless the someone in question is Itachi). But I'd sound like a broken record at that point, so I'm just going to grimace and nod. Slowly," Kakashi said, doing just that.


"You command ME?" Naruto said as he slowly walked towards the Uchiha, releasing a moderate amount of killing intent. "You, a lowly genin that wasn't paying attention to hi surroundings and almost got our client killed dares to make demands?" Naruto asked the slowly retreating avenger.

"Yes! I need it to kill Itachi!" Sasuke played his usual trump card. The villagers always backed down at it, surely the dobe would…


"Here we go…" Kiba sighed.

"Just tune your mind out of it. You'll be much happier," Kurenai suggested.

"Either that, or think of Toolruto as a Villain Protagonist," Shino added.


"And why should I help you kill Itachi?" Naruto asked coldly. "Even after what he did, he's still a hundred times the man you or your father ever were."


"And just how the hell would Toolruto know anything about Sasuke-kun's father?" Sakura said.

"What did I say about tuning out your mind?" Kurenai said a bit testily.


At that comment Sasuke took a kunai and threw it at Naruto. Before it got even close to him, it was deflected by an ice senbon from Haku.

Kakashi immediately got next to Sasuke and grabbed him by the collar.

"Listen carefully Sasuke, because I'm only going to say this once: attack a non-enemy again and I'll have you restrained for the rest of this mission. Remember it well." the jounin growled, letting the Uchiha fall on his ass.


"…Okay, I've seen enough," Kakashi said, casually readying a Lightning Blade in his hand. "The only merciful thing left to do is put this Laptop out of its misery."

"I'll be putting you out of your misery if you damage that computer, Hatake," Tsunade growled.

"Don't care. Nothing you could put me through could compare to letting this poor Laptop live on with the memory of having this 'story' on it," Kakashi replied.

"Nothing, huh? Not even burning all of your Icha-Icha Paradise books slowly, while you watch?"

"…You win this round."


Sasuke quickly got up and walked away fuming while Sakura went after him. As he got near the clones that were guarding the containment scrolls, he punched the nearest one and attempted to pick up the scroll it dropped when it dispelled. However, before he could touch it his stretched hand was grabbed by Kakashi'.

"What? I'm just taking a damn scroll!" Sasuke erupted.

"One you have no right to, since you didn't earn it." Kakashi countered.

"He can have mine, sensei!" Sakura said.

"You're not getting anything either, nor is Kiba." Kakashi wiped the smirk of the dog user' face. "I didn't ask you to attack the enemy; all I ordered you to do was to guard Tazuna. Task you obviously failed at, since he almost got killed while you three weren't paying attention."

"You should consider yourselves lucky that the bandit didn't consider you three a threat." Haku said as she accepted two scrolls that contained senbon.

"I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that the three geniuses dropped their weapons when the enemy told them to." Naruto quipped.

"Oh, that reminds me..." Kakashi turned to glare at the three "do something as reckless as that again and I'll have you removed from the ninja ranks."


"It's not like we had much choice. Tazuna's family was being held at Kunai-point, goddamnit!" Sasuke snarled.

"Yeah, just because Toolruto was so fucking overpowered that he didn't have anything to worry about, doesn't mean that he can talk down to us like that!" Sakura growled.

"And fuck that Haku chick! She gets two scrolls just because she turned on her master and defected? Who's to say that she won't do the same damn thing later on to Toolruto?" Kiba shouted.

"That would be a blessing, come to think of it," Naruto replied. "Then she can kill this imposter and rescue the real me!"


"You can't do that to Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cried in horror.

"Yeah, the council..." Sasuke began with a smirk.


"Hates my fucking guts and would have rather had me die during the massacre, so this sentence makes no sense in anyway whatsoever," Sasuke finished.


"Would rather have a civilian Uchiha then a dead one. I can make sure of that." Naruto cut him off.

"Now, go back to Tazuna' house and stand guard until we return. And I WILL know if you don't." Kakashi ordered and watched the trio silently walk away, glaring all the while at the blond.

"Are those three really ninja?" Haku asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. The council forced me to pass them." Kakashi mumbled.


"…Didn't I just say that the council hates me? It would make more sense for them to make sure I fail every chance they get, just so I wouldn't become a threat," Sasuke said, eyebrow twitching.


Shaking her head, Haku turned towards Naruto and eyed the two scrolls he was holding for her to take with a grim expression. They contained Zabuza' head, respectively his sword. With a short nod, she accepted them.

"Kakashi, when we get back to Tazuna' house we need to talk." Naruto told the jounin in a serious voice, earning a curios nod.


"Great. Does everyone who isn't named Sasuke, Sakura and Kiba bend over backwards for this guy so they can kiss his ass?" Tsunade groaned.

"You forgot about Zabuza. He certainty didn't kiss Toolruto's ass," Asuma pointed out.

"Yeah, and look where that got him," Shikamaru deadpanned.


Half hour later, the Konoha ninja, Haku and Tazuna were gathered around the kitchen table, all wearing worried looks. Naruto had just told them Gato' last words.

"Well, the best we can do is to keep constant watch in the village and the surrounding forest. When we'll find them, then we'll decide what to do." Kakashi said.

"Way ahead of you, Kakashi. I dispatched over a hundred Kage Bunshin for this task. I even sent some at Gato' hideout, where Zabuza and Haku had been staying. Considering how far from here it is, I'll get the information in an hour or so." Naruto informed.

"Good idea, he's most likely keeping a lot of his 'taxes' there. With any luck, the villagers will get some of their money and possessions back." Kakashi nodded in agreement.

"Thank you." Tazuna said, bowing his head in gratitude.

"Hmph, about time I'm shown some gratitude." Sasuke said smugly.


Sasuke began to cry.

"Oh my GOD. Why is this…this…this IDIOT of an author making me act so stupid?-!" The once proud Uchiha sobbed.

"I gotta agree. You aren't anywhere near this conceited in real life," Chouji said, nodding his head.

"The power of hate is something indeed, eh Sasuke?" Tsunade said in pity.


"Kakashi, you need to have Sasuke' head checked as well when we get back to Konoha; he's delirious." Naruto shook his head.

"Dobe! I'm gonna ki…" the avenger began yelling, but he was rather quickly silenced by the killing intent coming from Haku and Kakashi. Naruto on the other hand had an amused look on his face, almost taunting the Uchiha to try.


"ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! YOU SMUG LITTLE SHIT! IF YOU WERE REAL, I'D SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU'D BE PUKING SHIT AND BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMOR…"

Sasuke was cut off when he felt a prickling sensation in his arm. He looked towards where it came from, and saw Shizune with a shot in her hand. Before he could say anything, he felt the shot take effect and went off into blissful sleep.

Shizune said nothing as she tied him up as well, placing him next to Tenten.

"Thanks for that, Shizune-san," Kakashi said.

Shizune gave a small smile. "No Problem."


Phew! This chapter is much harder to get out than I thought! Sorry to have kept all of you waiting!

Anyway, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that there's going to be one more chapter of the bash fic. I underestimated how long it would be, and have to do this so that it won't take me forever to update.

But the good news is that I've chosen the fic to be used for the Time Travel story! That fic is the one that most of you asked for; 'It's For a Good Cause, I Swear!'. I got the okay from Sarah1281, so you'll see the Naruto group reading that fic on the chapter after the next! Hope you look forward to it!

Catch you Next Continue!